Hysterectomy is the second most common operation performed on women in the United States. Approximately one out of every three American women will have a hysterectomy by age sixty. In recent years, the number of hysterectomies performed on women in their thirties and forties has been increasing. In fact, 55 percent of all hysterectomies are performed on women aged thirty-five to forty-nine. Even though there is a lot of talk about hysterectomies, the impact on younger women is usually ignored. As a result, it isn’t a popular topic of discussion among younger women and thus women remain uninformed.

If you are one of the women who must have this type of surgery, what should you expect in terms of the surgery?

Questions to Ask Your Doctor About the Surgery

• What surgical approach will you use? (Laparoscopic, abdominal, vaginal, etc.)

• What side effects can I expect from the surgery?

• What kind of bleeding should I expect?

• What type of incision will I have, and what type of sutures will you use?

• How long will I be in the hospital?

• When can I resume my normal activities (work, child care, etc.)?

• What types of pain medication or other prescriptions will you prescribe after the surgery?

• What limitations will I have on sexual activity, and for how long?

• What will happen to my ovaries?

• Are there any other options that will let me leave my ovaries intact?

• What types of nonsurgical alternatives are currently available?

• What will happen if I don’t have the surgery?

• What types of complications should I expect?

• How will this surgery affect my hormones?

• What if I want to have children?

BEFORE SURGERY

I had what I considered a very enlightened ob‑gyn who discussed the operation and what I could expect following it quite thoroughly. He said that in his experience many women tended to experience exactly what they had been led to believe would happen. If the formative culture assumed that a woman without ovaries and womb was a sexless being, then the woman was more likely to feel negative than one who had never been told anything of the sort. As it turns out, I had not really ever discussed hysterectomy with anyone and my feelings had not been influenced one way or another. I am so grateful that I had time to process what the hysterectomy would mean to me before the surgery. I went into training for my operation, eating in a very healthy way and taking extra vitamin E for healing. I was up and about the following day and felt better than I had for years. — Elsie

A hysterectomy is an inpatient procedure performed in a hospital setting. Before your surgery, your doctor will order a number of blood and urine tests. An enema is sometimes given to clean out your bowels before the surgery. Also, the abdominal and pelvic areas may be shaved and cleaned in order to prepare for surgery. You should also meet with an anesthesiologist to evaluate any special needs or conditions you have that might affect the anesthesia. Start eating soft foods three days before the surgery. On the night before the operation, you should eat a light meal and then have nothing to eat or drink for about twelve hours prior to your scheduled surgery.

Doctors, nurses, and women who have “been there” will all have experiences and advice for your recovery. How to remember everything? Buy a notebook small enough to keep in your purse. As questions or tips strike you, write them down in there. As Maggie says, “I have carried it with me everywhere for the past three weeks, and it is worth its weight in gold!”

Know Your Hormone Levels
If you are scheduled for a hysterectomy, it is imperative to have a complete hormonal blood workup. That way there is a baseline to go by when determining your hormonal needs. You can look back at those tests, see what the levels were when you felt normal, and try to achieve those levels again with the right hormones. Because hormones fluctuate, talk to your health care provider about the timing of hormone testing.

DURING SURGERY
Depending on the exact surgical method, the entire procedure should take somewhere between one and three hours. Regardless of the approach, the procedure involves separating the uterus from the ligaments and tissue that hold it in place. Once separated, it is then removed. Afterward, the instruments are removed and the incisions are closed. Laparoscopic incisions may be closed with absorbable sutures and sterile tape, while surgical incisions will be held together with staples and sutures that will be removed a couple of weeks later by your doctor.

Tummy Bands
This is an elastic, stretchy wrap that is wrapped around and around the abdomen, similar to an Ace bandage for a sprained ankle. Some doctors routinely wrap their hysterectomy patients with them after surgery, but ask beforehand if you should bring your own. Some brands even include a cooling gel pack to ease postoperative pain.

AFTER SURGERY

The best advice I never got: have a family member there as much as possible to see that you get what you are supposed to get at the scheduled time. I can’t stress this enough. Having someone with you all the time means they will make sure you get your pain medications when you need them and not after the pain becomes miserable. — Liz

After your surgery, you will feel some discomfort. If you had an abdominal hysterectomy, this discomfort will include the location of the incision. A typical hospital stay varies from same day to a few days depending on the type of surgery and any complications.

While you are in the hospital, ask for a recommendation for a stool softener. Having a bowel movement can be a little uncomfortable at first. Drink lots of water, and avoid foods like chocolate and dairy products, which may cause constipation.

AT HOME
Don’t put yourself in a situation where you have to climb the stairs every day, at least for the first ten days. Consider buying (used is cheaper) or renting the following medical equipment to make the recovery much easier:

• A hospital table that easily wheels away from the bed but can also straddle the bed. This will allow you to read, use the computer, and eat without putting any pressure on your stomach or twisting around.

• Toilet hand-hold bars (there are temporary ones that rest on the toilet base; no need to attach them to the wall) to allow you to lower and raise yourself with your arms.

• A “grabber” that enables you to reach and pick up items on the floor or nearby.

• A walker with a seat for assistance getting into and out of bed and for the shower.

• Spa bags you can heat in the microwave or cool in the fridge, including a long, narrow one to cover the area of the incision (with a sheet between the spa bag and the incision).

• Wedge pillows, available at the local bed and bath store, which make sitting in bed much more comfortable.

• A body pillow or a large stuffed animal to hold on to.

Buy a short nightgown and robe of a silky material, both above knee length. That way you won’t get all wrapped up in your nightclothes. Pajamas are not comfortable against the incision for the first two weeks.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Evelina Weidman Sterling, Ph.D., is a nationally recognized public health researcher and educator specializing in fertility and women’s health issues. Angie Best-Boss has a master’s degree in counseling and is a freelance writer focusing on women’s health. Together they are the authors of Before Your Time: The Early Menopause Survival Guide (Copyright © 2010 Evelina Weidman Sterling and Angie Best-Boss) and Budgeting for Infertility: How to Bring Home a Baby Without Breaking the Bank.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• Budgeting for Infertility: 5 Things You Can Do Now
• How Much Do Infertility Treatments Cost?

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Before Your Time: The Early Menopause Survival Guide
• Read an excerpt from the authors’ book Budgeting for Fertility: How to Bring Home a Baby Without Breaking the Bank

Let’s talk about food. High fat, low quality, processed vs. real food. Let’s talk about food. I have a couple of dietary rules in my home, I’ve had them for years.

1.    If it glows in the dark, we don’t eat it.

I’m not waiting for the fluorescence manufacturers to tell me their product isn’t deadly because it is, done.

2.    If there is one word in the ingredient list I can’t pronounce, I don’t buy it.

Why would I?

3.    If I go into the store to buy maple syrup and I don’t see the word maple in the ingredient list, it’s not going into my body or my (operative word, my) sons’ bodies.

One real ingredient, there’s a standard.

4.    Refined white sugar, refined white flour, and refined white men are directly connected.

Especially the refined white men in the refined White House.

Four 101 food rules that affect/effect much. Huge changes can be made by you, with no expert in sight, simply by using your common sense. Now, watch as the politics and the menu plan mix, and they do. The most powerful consumer market in the massive food business is…? Women. Imagine if you didn’t buy:

the foods sold to you

the promises blasted at you

the flat-out lies told to you …

A whole lot of foods, according to my four simple rules alone, are immediately exposed. Imagine how much will change when you change what you are putting in, into your grocery cart and into your body. The ripple effect, yep, and the $276 billion food industry knows it. An educated consumer is not the goal of billion-dollar companies…or your health-care experts, for that matter. They are perched on very expensive, finely constructed pedestals and only one thing can knock them off. You. Here are a couple of very real lifestyle issues: food, consumer markets, massive government lobbies, huge corporations…never mentioned in the never-ending weight-loss discussions, and they are connected. Weight loss and world peace…oh, if only. Weight loss and war…there is a connection.

If it’s war you’d like to discuss, and it seems nobody discusses anything but war, certainly these days, then let’s talk about wars much closer to home. Biochemical warfare. The biochemical warfare going on in the bodies, and the brains, of millions of people. The biochemical warfare being waged (literally) by…? Directed a …? By our own, at our own, yep. Nothing new about blowing up our own, not at all. Beginning to see why I resent being shoved off to the side of all political discussions and latenight everything …oy, the eleven-thirty late-night boys’ club gets tiring for the other half, meantime.

Let’s agree (and move the hell on). The advertising, socializing, and glamorizing of a nearly 50 percent daily fat intake and the life “ya just gotta be living” to get overfat and unfit is an extraordinarily well-organized, heavily funded, much-riding-on-it club. A club (guess which gender) that wields the same power as all of the other clubs have wielded for a good five thousand years. What that means to you and your daily fat intake is quite simple. You have to know, starting now, the truth. You have to know the truth and make the most basic, easy-to-do, know-it-once-and-for-all changes, starting with three things. Fat, movement, and thinking.

You have to know, from this moment on, that:

Eating a ton of fat and not moving are connected to you being overfat and unfit.

High-fat foods, for the most part, are as obvious as daylight, and you already know what most of them are.

You already have (and have had for a while) a lot of the information you need to lose weight.

You have to know that a good place to start would be to cut back, or cut out:

• tubs of soda
• deep-fried
• buttered-to-the-nines
• Creamy stuff that sits in freezer
• Doughy and gooey

Substitution lists abound.

Without knowing anything about nutrition, and you know:

A potato …

Cut into thin slices …

Is it high fat?

When those same thin slices are dumped into a vat of grease, is it high fat?

No need, at this stage of the reclaim-your-body-and-brain game, to spend any time on the enormous amounts of:

sugar

flavorings

enhancers/preservatives

Poisons, that’s what the fast-food boys add to what once was a potato. And then there is the farmland they destroyed to get you such crap, and the toxic chemicals they used to manufacture it, and the cancers skyrocketing in and around (I’m talking globally) their “farmlands” and, and, and, …how about we just stay with high fat, and what you can do about it now and forever?

I just made potatoes. Organic baby reds, pressure-cooked for ten minutes, drained, sprinkled with sea salt, a dollop of soy sour cream (just a tad) peppered and chived, and they couldn’t have been better. I did not sit down and calculate the amount of fat, protein, sugar, fiber, and everything else my potatoes had to offer. No need. What I did was eat them, over a three-bean spinach-and-tomato salad with sesame lemon dressing, and enjoyed the hell out of it.

High-fat foods are easy to spot and quite simple to cut way way back on. Eating whole, real foods is as easy as it gets. One comes from the vats of man, usually screaming “bargain and convenient” at you. And the other? Comes from the Mother, Nature. The foods you hear nothing about. Not the foods being advertised at you. Food you don’t have a clue what to do with… and why would you?

Grains, beans, fruits, and vegetables. By the thousands of varieties. Bountiful. Dropping from trees, vines, bushes. I don’t pick the stuff, but I buy it. Thousands of foods, prepared thousands of ways that you don’t have to think twice about nutritionally. The foods on the perimeter of your megamart. The foods you have to have a teaching degree to get your kids to eat, according to the corporations who make the other foods. Foods that, until very recently, could get you arrested if you suggested they had anything to do with anything or, God forbid, could heal disease! Heretic, I could tell you stories, and will.

All of a sudden it turns out that whole foods have value. Well done, Nature. Foods grown in systems that didn’t destroy the earth. Foods grown (bountifully) without dioxin. Real, whole foods. The foods you have no idea what to do with …but in sticking with the most important thing (you getting the answers to your questions), let’s ask a question. One question, and you’ll know everything you need to know about whether or not the food you are eating is whole. I’ll jog your memory by quoting myself, a line from one of my infomercials years ago: “Have you ever seen an oatmeal tree?” No, you haven’t, because oatmeal doesn’t grow that way. Oatmeal isn’t a whole food. Oatmeal is, however, a very good example that explains much about whole foods, which is the reason I’m using it. No need to go off on the should-I-or-shouldn’t-I eat oatmeal “yeah, butting,” go with it, you’ll see, oatmeal applies to all foods.

Have you ever seen an oatmeal tree? No, you haven’t because that’s not how oatmeal grows. That’s not a typo, that’s your answer. If you ever want to know if the foods you are eating are whole, ask the question “Does it grow that way?” Hasn’t it been said before, ask and ye shall? Well, ask. How does oatmeal grow? Not in flakes, and absolutely not in flakes that cook up in one minute. The original food is…? A question you should ask about everything. Now, get off oatmeal.

But right now it doesn’t matter. What matters is…pick a food, any food.

Have you ever seen a bread tree?

Have you ever seen a cereal tree?

Have you ever seen a-seven-grain-muffin tree?

Have you ever seen a Power Bar tree?

Have you ever seen a granola tree?

Have you ever seen a pasta tree?

Have you ever seen a liquid meal tree?

Increasing whole, real foods in your life has everything to do with knowing what they are. Whole foods are foods that are grown that way. As in apple on a tree, the apple. Corn on a cob, whole. Rice, paddies are full of it. Oranges, come in groves. Beans, stalk them. Pumpkin, vined all around. Does it grow on a bush, a tree, a vine … from the Mother of them all, Nature? Did it grow that way? Ask the question in the privacy of your own brain, and think about it. Increasing the amounts of whole foods you eat — grains, beans, fruits, and veggies — is something you are going to do, which is going to make an astounding difference in the way you look and feel. No longer disputing, even if the experts do; what is indisputable is foundationally life changing. Agree? Good, let’s move on.

Fact: You don’t have to think about high fat when you are eating whole foods. You don’t have to think about toxic waste when you are eating whole, real food, unless it’s grown by “the highest quality” massive corporations. You don’t have to think about preserved, pasteurized, and pummeled when you eat whole foods, which makes your new life a whole lot easier. Unless you are living on avocado, hearts of palm, and coconuts, you don’t have to think about:

fat

fiber

water

nutrients

No need to think about any of that with thousands of varieties of whole, real foods. Because they are perfect. “Low fat” and “grains, beans, fruits, and veggies” are synonymous. “Fiber” and “nutrient-rich,” synonymous. All you have to do is get familiar with these gems of nature and eat them.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Susan Powter, the New York Times bestselling author Politics of Stupid: The Cure for Obesity (Copyright © 2002 by Susan Powter), is also the author of Stop the Insanity!; The Pocket Powter; Food; C’Mon America, Let’s Eat!; and Hey, Mom! I’m Hungry! For many years she has been inspiring audiences worldwide with her books, audios, videos, and record-breaking life-changing seminars. Visit her online at www.susanpowteronline.com.

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of The Politics of Stupid: The Cure for Obesity
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Watch the video: Susan Powter explains the weight-loss strategies in her book
• Browse more books by the author

Breathing Exercise (5–10 minutes daily)
Try this exercise for a week and see whether it makes a difference in your life. Find a quiet place and comfortable position, either sitting in a chair (spine straight, shoulders down and relaxed) or lying down. Close your eyes if that feels comfortable and doesn’t send you to sleep. Bring all your attention to your breath. Concentrate on the in-breath, concentrate on the out-breath. The rhythm should be regular and relaxed. Don’t exaggerate the slowness or the deepness of your breath. Relax your belly. You may be able to feel the belly rise and fall with each breath. (Don’t worry if this “breathing from the diaphragm” doesn’t come right away. Most people have unconsciously trained themselves to breathe more shallowly from the chest.) Each time your mind wanders, bring it back to the breath without judgment or frustration.

Body Scan Exercise (5–20 minutes daily, or as often as you find it useful)
Lie on your back on your bed or a foam pad on the floor. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breath, the rising and falling of your belly. After your breath has settled, feel your whole body, head to toe. Feel the parts of your body that are in contact with the bed or pad. Then bring your attention to the toes of your left foot. Feel every sensation going on there, good, bad, or indifferent. Then take a deeper breath, to “wash away” the toes, and move down to the heel of the foot. In this way, cover every region of your body. When your mind wanders, bring it back without judgment or frustration to the breath and to the part of the body that you are focusing your attention on. You may want to bring an element of visualization to this exercise. Picture the breath coming in through the nose, traveling to the body area, then running back out through the nose. If you are in pain, you might imagine refreshing water or a healing light or a cool breeze traveling to the damaged area, bathing it, then leaving the body.

Meditation Exercise (5–30 minutes daily, or as consistently as you can manage)
If you find that meditation agrees with you, see if you can build up the duration of each session to twenty or thirty minutes, and if you can do it without strain and without its becoming the point of the exercise. To begin, assume a comfortable sitting or kneeling position on cushions or sit upright in a chair (spine straight, shoulders down). If you can maintain alertness, close your eyes. Bring your attention to your breath, the in-breath and the out-breath, the feeling of air passing through your nostrils, the rising and falling of your relaxed belly. When your mind wanders, note the thought or the feeling that comes into your head, then without judgment or frustration come back to the breath. If you are aware of physical discomfort or pain, bring your attention to that for a moment. Don’t tell yourself a story about how you feel about the pain, just be fully in touch with the sensation, then return to the breath.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Rob DeStefano, D.C., is a sports chiropractor, a national leader in the field of manual muscle therapies, and an avid triathlete. Bryan Kelly, M.D., is an orthopedic surgeon, specializing in sports medicine and arthroscopic surgery of the shoulder, hip, and knee at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City. Joseph Hooper is contributing editor/writer for Elle and Popular Science magazines and has been covering health and fitness since 1985. They are the authors of Muscle Medicine: The Revolutionary Approach to Maintaining, Strengthening, and Repairing Your Muscles and Joints (Copyright © 2009 by Rob DeStefano, Bryan Kelly, and Joseph Hooper).

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Muscle Medicine: The Revolutionary Approach to Maintaining, Strengthening, and Repairing Your Muscles and Joints
• Watch the video: Sports chiropractor Rob DeStefano offers tips and hints for dealing with muscle pain

While working on this book, I interviewed an appliance repairman who told me that most dishwasher detergents contain enzymes that react with and break down organic material (food waste). These enzymes make the detergent very hard and porous. If dishes are nearly clean when they are put into the dishwasher, the enzymes have nothing to stick to and are flung about the inside of the dishwasher, effectively sandblasting the dishes and glassware. This sandblasting effect can permanently cloud glassware and wear the decorative paint and glazes off of dishes.

Here is the recommended way to load a dishwasher.

1. Use a rubber spatula to scrape large chunks of food off the dishes and flatware. (I scrape my food scraps into my compost bucket, from whence they are tipped into my vermicomposting bin.
2. The dishwasher may not remove hardened bits of food. Anything that is crusty or hardened should be removed.
3. Brush off all bits of cheese before loading dishes or utensils into the dishwasher. The heat of the dishwasher will bake cheese right onto a fork or plate, where it will cling like a limpet until it is forcibly removed.
4. Don’t prerinse your dishes before you load them into the dishwasher. Leave that light glazing of turkey juice, spaghetti sauce, and gravy on the plates. Your dishes and glassware will last longer if they are not sandblasted by underemployed dishwasher enzymes.
5. Read the directions on your dishwasher detergent, then use the least possible amount. A scum of excess detergent is just as dirty as a scum of milk or grease, and may be harder to rinse off.
6. If your dishwasher begins to stink, clean the filter according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Then pour 2 cups of white vinegar into a bowl and set the bowl face up on the bottom rack of the dishwasher. Run the machine through a wash cycle to clean the inside of the appliance. The vinegar will deodorize the dishwasher as well as dissolve hard water deposits.
7. To remove hard water spots from dishes and glassware, use the normal amount of detergent and run the dishes through the wash cycle. Remove all the cutlery and other metal items from the dishwasher, then pour 2 cups white vinegar into a bowl and set the bowl face up on the bottom rack of the dishwasher. Run the dishes through the wash cycle again, with just vinegar as a cleaning agent. Allow the dishes to dry completely before putting them away.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ellen Sandbeck, the author of Green Housekeeping (Copyright © 2006 by Ellen Sandbeck) and Green Barbarians, is an organic landscaper, worm wrangler, writer, and graphic artist who lives with (and experiments on) her husband and an assortment of younger creatures — which includes two mostly grown children, a couple of dogs, a small flock of laying hens, and many thousands of composting worms — in Duluth, Minnesota.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 11 Tips for Dealing With Your Piles of Papers
• First, Get Rid of the Clutter! Organizing With Everyday Objects
• Home, Sweet-Smelling Home: 14 Easy Tips
• How to Disinfect Your Home — Naturally
• The Greenest Way to Hand Wash Your Dishes

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Green Housekeeping
• Browse more books by the author
• Learn more about Ellen Sandbeck

We send our kids off to school so that they can learn and flourish in a safe, healthy environment. Unfortunately, many schools are contaminated with hazardous chemicals. Highly toxic pesticides are used on a regular basis to control pests in schools and on playing fields. The air children breathe may be filled with the byproducts of toxic molds from water-stained ceiling tiles or carpets or poorly maintained ventilation ducts. While the common cleaning products used in schools keep the floors, desks, and hallways germ free and smelling fresh, their fumes are potentially dangerous and pose a threat to the health of our children.

Because 55 million kids in this country spend most of their waking hours in school, we need to start paying more attention to the cleanliness and safety of these buildings. The adverse health effects of toxic exposures in the schools has been well documented:

• On October 27, 1992, the Westchester County, New York, Department of Health closed down Eastchester High School for three weeks after students and staff complained of nausea, headaches, eye irritation, and respiratory problems. The day before, an exterminating company had applied the insecticides resmethrin, chlorpyrifos, and diazinon in the school.

• Asthma, which is linked to exposure to toxins in the environment, is the number-one reason for school absenteeism and the number-one chronic childhood illness.

• Conventional cleaning chemicals can contain neurotoxins, highly toxic materials that affect the nerve cells and may impair a child’s developmental and learning abilities.

• A study published in the October 2003 edition of Environmental Health Perspectives found that teens showed a fourfold increased risk of illness from exposure to disinfectants than adults.

• Several Seattle public schools found that the lead concentration in their water fountains exceeded the 20 parts per billion recommended by the EPA.

• Many items containing mercury are found in schools. At a school in Connecticut, the simple act of cleaning out a supply closet resulted in twelve broken mercury laboratory thermometers. The school was evacuated and paid cleanup costs totaling six thousand dollars.

• A report prepared by an environmental coalition that focused mainly on five states with large school-age populations — Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Michigan, and California — concluded that more than six hundred thousand students were attending nearly twelve hundred public schools that are located within a half mile of federal Superfund or state-identified contaminated sites.

• Many cleaning products used in schools, such as toilet bowl cleaners, mold and mildew sprays, and antibacterial cleaners contain carcinogens, mutagens, teratogens, and neurotoxins. These substances are known to cause or aggravate cancer, cause genetic changes in cells, and affect nerve cells.

These toxic exposures can lead to school absenteeism, learning disabilities, asthma, and other chronic health problems. Remember that knowledge is your best defense against these very real threats to our children’s health. Involved parents can make all the difference in bringing about the changes necessary to protect their children.

If we all join forces with other concerned parents in the community, we can force school officials to do a better job of reducing our children’s exposure to lead, mercury, pesticides, and other hazardous pollutants. There are lots of easy ways to create a safer school-day environment. Bring up your concerns with other parents at school meetings, and together you can:

• Persuade the school administration to make the switch to nontoxic and biodegradable cleaning products that contain few or no volatile organic compounds. You don’t need dangerous chemicals to clean a school thoroughly and effectively.

• Test for lead in water and replace old pipes, since children tend to absorb more lead than the average adult.

• Work with your municipality to identify, collect, and recycle mercury products that might be present in your children’s school. Start a drive to replace these products with nonmercury alternatives.

• Reduce the use of pesticides in school buildings and landscapes, and use alternative methods of managing pests. Integrated pest management is a collaborative effort between parents, teachers, administrators, cafeteria workers, and even the students that has proven to be an effective method of managing pest infestations in school buildings, and on school grounds, without the need for pesticides.

• Make sure that the outdoor play equipment, decks, and fences at your children’s schools are arsenic free. Before your child becomes ill, check the wood. You can order an inexpensive test kit to test for arsenic in the soil or in wood structures.

These tasks might sound daunting, but my environmental center can help you make cleaner, greener schools a reality. Visit our Web site (www.dienviro.com) or call us at 201-336-8071 to discuss ways to implement these protocols. We offer a free consultation and facility evaluation and can help your school green their cleaning, test for lead, switch to healthier paints and building materials, and even remake the food program.

Together, we can equip our schools to deal with these environmental threats and protect our children from harm.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Deirdre Imus, author of Growing Up Green: Baby and Child Care (Copyright © Git’R Green, Inc.), is the founder and president of the Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology®, part of Hackensack University Medical Center (HUMC) in New Jersey. She is also a cofounder and codirector of the Imus Cattle Ranch for Kids with Cancer, and the author of the bestselling book The Imus Ranch: Cooking for Kids and Cowboys.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 4 Holistic Health Practices to Try
• 4 Questions to Ask When Shopping for Green Cleaning Products
• 7 Reasons Children Are Exceptionally Sensitive to Everyday Chemicals
• Essential Green Cleaning Products: How to Clean Your Home Naturally
• Nourishing Baby: Smart Choices for Moms — Plus, How to Find Safe Baby Bottles
• Top 10 Ways to Green Your Life

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Growing Up Green: Baby and Child Care
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Watch a video about the Green This! series of books

Nutritionist Heidi Skolnik advises both the Giants and her female clients at the Hospital for Special Surgery on eating habits to preserve musculoskeletal health for the long haul. For women entering the menopausal years and beyond, getting enough calcium to protect bone density and reduce the risk of osteoporosis is a special concern. (The government recommends 1,000 milligrams for adults ages nineteen to fifty, 1,200 milligrams for adults fifty-one or older, and 1,200–1,500 milligrams for postmenopausal women.) A diet with plenty of (mostly low-fat) dairy products should do the trick (see the list below). If not, a calcium citrate supplement can make up the difference. Besides calcium’s bone-strengthening properties, evidence suggests that it helps to regulate blood pressure, and intriguing, preliminary evidence suggests that it may stimulate the body to burn fat more efficiently. No matter how good you think your diet may be, if you’re a woman over forty, you should get a bone-density test and a full blood and urine test workup to see if you’re at risk for osteoporosis. Senior men can also be at risk.

It isn’t enough just to consume calcium. The body has to properly absorb it, and here vitamin D plays a crucial role. During the warm-weather months, your body manufactures vitamin D when your skin is exposed to sunlight. During the colder months (or all year if you don’t go outside much or wear strong sunblock religiously when you do), your stores of vitamin D drop. Foods such as organ meats and cold-water fish such as sardines and herring have some vitamin D, but you’d have to eat like a Siberian fisherman to reach the government’s recommended daily intake of 400 international units. The usual route is fortified foods (milk is usually fortified with 125 IU) and supplements (a good multivitamin should have 400 IU, but make sure it’s the more potent vitamin D3 form). Because a hip fracture can be a life-threatening trauma for the elderly, especially elderly women, Skolnik recommends for them a daily intake of at least 800 IU and, depending on the individual, as high as 2,000 IU. Have your vitamin D levels checked and consult with your doctor. (Vitamin D deficiency can result in muscle pain, and recent studies have linked low vitamin D intake with an increased risk of cancer, among other diseases. That should get your attention considering 41 percent of men and 53 percent of women in the United States are vitamin D deficient.)

Supplementing with omega-3 fatty acids to reduce inflammation and protect muscles and connective tissues is also a sensible choice. (Skolnik suggests a two-to-four-gram daily intake, taking the pill with food and splitting up the dosage over the day.)

There are other joint-friendly supplements out there with some supporting science on their side (if not the research pedigree of omega-3) that may be worth looking into. SAM-e (S-Adenosyl-methionine) is derived from the amino acid methionine; Zyflamend combines two spices with confirmed anti-inflammatory effects, ginger and turmeric. Enthusiasm, and positive study results, has waned for another combo supplement, glucosamine and chondroitin. In a 2006 New England Journal of Medicine study, the supplement did not reduce pain overall, but did benefit one subgroup of patients with moderate to severe pain. In a smaller 2008 study published in Arthritis and Rheumatism, the supplement scored no better than a sugar pill placebo. (Check with your physician before beginning any supplementation program.)

Putting Calcium in Your Diet
(Chart figures mostly from USDA National Nutrient Database for Standard References, Release 21)

Food: Calcium-fortified cereal (brand: Total)
Amount: 3⁄4 cup
Calcium (mg): 1,000

Food: Yogurt, low-fat, plain
Amount: 8 oz
Calcium (mg): 415

Food: Calcium-fortified orange juice
Amount: 1 cup
Calcium (mg): 350

Food: Sardines
Amount: 3 oz
Calcium (mg): 325

Food: Spinach, cooked
Amount: 1 cup
Calcium (mg): 291

Food: Milk, low-fat
Amount: 1 cup
Calcium (mg): 290

Food: Soy milk, fortified
Amount: 1 cup
Calcium (mg): 300

Food: Cottage cheese, low-fat
Amount: 1 cup
Calcium (mg): 206

Food: Chedder cheese, reduced-fat
Amount: 1 oz
Calcium (mg): 200

Food: Salmon, canned, with bones
Amount: 3 oz
Calcium (mg): 181

Food: Tofu, processed with calcium
Amount: 1⁄4 block
Calcium (mg): 163

Food: Almonds
Amount: 1⁄3 cup
Calcium (mg): 110

Food: Beans, cooked
Amount: 1⁄2 cup
Calcium (mg): 25–65

Food: Broccoli, cooked
Amount: 1 cup
Calcium (mg): 61

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Rob DeStefano, D.C., is a sports chiropractor, a national leader in the field of manual muscle therapies, and an avid triathlete. Bryan Kelly, M.D., is an orthopedic surgeon, specializing in sports medicine and arthroscopic surgery of the shoulder, hip, and knee at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City. Joseph Hooper is contributing editor/writer for Elle and Popular Science magazines and has been covering health and fitness since 1985. They are the authors of Muscle Medicine: The Revolutionary Approach to Maintaining, Strengthening, and Repairing Your Muscles and Joints (Copyright © 2009 by Rob DeStefano, Bryan Kelly, and Joseph Hooper).

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Muscle Medicine: The Revolutionary Approach to Maintaining, Strengthening, and Repairing Your Muscles and Joints
• Watch the video: Sports chiropractor Rob DeStefano offers tips and hints for dealing with muscle pain

What’s a Portion?
I don’t like to tell people how much to eat. I’m never going to say to you, “Eat half a cup of broccoli and three ounces of chicken.” What if you don’t like broccoli? Or what if you want more broccoli? How much you eat depends on many things, not the least of which is how hungry you are at the moment. I think it’s absurd to tell people how much to eat.

However, I also know what it’s like to lose all sense of what a real portion is. To help you figure out for yourself how much you should eat, so you have a guide by which to measure whether you’d like a little less or a little more of something, here are some approximate reasonable sizes for some common food groups. Consider this a general guide. On some days, you will probably want a little more than this. On other days, half a portion might be more than enough. It all depends on what your food voice tells you.

Vegetables, Cooked: One portion of sautéed, steamed, boiled, or stir-fried vegetables would fill a small cereal bowl or salad plate. This is approximately ½ a cup to 1 cup. But to be perfectly honest, I’ve never measured my vegetables. They are vegetables! A big heap of them is a great investment.

Salad: One portion of raw leafy greens or lettuce with raw vegetables should fill a soup bowl or salad bowl, or be heaped on a salad plate. In general, a portion of raw vegetables is about two to three times bigger than a similar portion of cooked vegetables. If you must measure, a portion of salad is about 1 to 2 cups. Dress lightly with dressing, don’t drown your lettuce, but don’t worry about measuring out your dressing — that’s obsessive.

Raw Fruit: One medium-sized piece of fruit, like an apple, pear, or peach, is a portion. Two plums or two apricots are a portion. For berries or chopped fruit like melons, aim to fill a small cereal bowl (about the size of half of a grapefruit) or Japanese rice bowl, or about 1 cup. But please don’t stress about measuring or weighing your fruit. I hate it when diet books say, “Eat a small apple.” Maybe I want a big apple. It’s an apple. It’s not going to make you fat.

Meat, Poultry, and Fish: A portion is a piece of meat, poultry, or fish about the size of a small kitchen sponge. If it’s really fatty, make it a little smaller, maybe the size of a cell phone. If it’s really lean, you can make it a little bigger.

Pasta and Rice: A small Japanese rice bowl is the right size for a portion of pasta or rice. It doesn’t sound like much, and sometimes you might want more, but remember that white pasta and white rice are likely to make you even hungrier, so they aren’t very good investments. Fill the bowl level, don’t heap it full.

Cereal: If it’s full of bran and made with whole grains and little or no sugar, fill a Japanese rice bowl or small cereal bowl about two-thirds.

Bread: One medium-sized slice, half a scooped bagel, half a scooped English muffin, or one small dinner roll is a portion. By “scooped,” I mean that I pull out some of the bread and throw it away. By the way, if the bread, bagel, or roll is gigantic, you know perfectly well that’s two or three portions. Can you split it with somebody?

Muffins, Cookies, and Pastries: The same thing applies to muffins, cookies, and pastries as to bread. If it’s medium-sized, it’s a portion. If it’s gigantic, it should not be for one person. Split it or save half for later.

Cheese: A piece of cheese the size of a business card. I’m a fan of soy cheese slices on sandwiches. Obviously, one slice is a portion.

Ice Cream: One scoop in a ramekin or custard cup is a portion. Nobody needs more than one small scoop of ice cream in a day.

Popcorn: Popcorn in a larger cereal or rice bowl is a portion. If you put butter on it, that also counts as a portion of fat. Don’t use very much. The popcorn shouldn’t be swimming.

Chips, Crackers, and Pretzels: A small ramekin of chips or crackers should be plenty, even if the bag says a portion is twelve or twenty or whatever. Just get a taste of the crunchiness and stop. But you don’t have to count.

Nuts: A small handful, unless you have large hands, and I don’t mean a handful so big that nuts are falling out between your fingers. I’m talking about approximately ¼ cup. But a small serving of nuts makes an excellent snack that will stick with you. If you use a ramekin, fill it only about halfway.

Nut Butter, Hummus, Guacamole: A thin spread. You don’t need to measure. Just don’t glop it on. Use your common sense and don’t lie to yourself.

Juice: If you like juice (I do), don’t be deterred by people who say you should never drink it. Obviously, whole fruit is better because of the fiber, which is filling and good for you, but if you really want juice, have some in a small juice glass or small wineglass. I like to mix mine with sparkling water. You don’t need to fill up a big water glass –  that’s too much sugar. It’s natural sugar, but it’s still sugar. The bottom line is, there is no forbidden food –  but I’ll hold back somewhere else if I want juice. Make your choice.

Wine or Beer: A small glass of wine, or half a bottle of beer, is a portion. Don’t kid yourself.

Liquor: One shot is a portion. Stick with clear liquor and use mixers that aren’t loaded with sugar, like seltzer or freshly squeezed fruit juice.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A former Martha Stewart Apprentice runner up and a star of The Real Housewives of New York City, Bethenny Frankel is the author of the New York Times bestseller Naturally Thin: Unleash Your SkinnyGirl and Free Yourself from a Lifetime of Dieting (Copyright © 2009 by BB Endeavors LLC) and The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life. The founder of natural foods company BethennyBakes, she is a monthly columnist for Health magazine. She has cooked for celebrities including Denis Leary and Mariska Hargitay. She lives in New York City.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 6 Easy Ideas for Healthy Meals and Snacks
  

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Naturally Thin
• Watch Bethenny Frankel talk about her book and how she learned to be naturally thin
• Find out about Bethenny’s book The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life

• Talk with your doctor about prosthetic options before surgery so you can make an informed decision.

• You can get more information on prosthesis through the American Cancer Society at 1-800-227-2345.

• If you decide on a prosthesis, ask for a prescription for it.

• Check with your health insurance company to find out what and how much they cover. Plans typically cover a prosthesis every other year and two to three postmastectomy bras every year.

• If you cannot afford a prosthesis, contact the Y-ME Prosthesis Bank at 800-221-2141 (English) or 800-986-9505 (Spanish).

• You usually can find a certified prosthesis fitter and retailer through the cancer center at a hospital near you. The fitter can help you find the right prosthesis.

• You may be able to wear a temporary prosthesis when you leave the hospital after mastectomy.

• Your first prosthesis fitting usually can be scheduled six weeks to eight weeks after surgery, when the swelling has subsided and scars have healed more.

• You are entitled to change your mind about reconstruction if you find later that a prosthesis isn’t working for you.

Reconstruction on the Rise
Most women who have undergone a mastectomy — and in some cases, lumpectomy patients — choose reconstruction over an external prosthesis, Orange County breast surgeons say. “There’s a tremendous emotional, psychological, and rehabilitative value to reconstruction,” said Dr. Ed Luce, president of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. “Scars remind patients of the loss of the breast. Reconstruction restores their self-esteem. It says in an eloquent, nonverbal way that those who are giving care to the patient have absolute confidence in her ultimate recovery and survival.”

Nationally, the number of breast reconstructions has increased 174 percent in a decade — from 29,607 in 1992 to 81,089 in 2001, according to the surgeons group. Most of these follow breast cancer surgery. The increase can be attributed partly to the Women’s Health and Cancer Rights Act of 1998, which mandates health-insurance coverage for breast reconstruction and alteration of the other breast for symmetry in women who have had a mastectomy.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Janet Thompson, author of Dear God They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey (Copyright © 2006 by Janet Thompson), quit her secular career to go into full-time lay ministry, starting the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. She is the founder and director of About His Work Ministries, also known as AHW Ministries, and is a frequent speaker on topics relevant to today’s Christian women. Janet has authored several products for her Woman to Woman ministry, including Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. Janet and her husband, Dave, have four married children and nine grandchildren. They make their home in Lake Forest, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Adjusting to a New Normal When You Have Cancer
• Talking to Children About Cancer
• The Top 13 Things to Do or Say and Not to Say or Do to Someone with Breast Cancer

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey
• See the book’s Table of Contents

How does being overly nice at work make me pack on the pounds?
I bet if you think a bit on this question, you’ll come up with an answer. Picture yourself at work and stressed out of your mind with reports and deadlines, your boss looking over your shoulder, and not enough hours in the day to get everything done. Now picture yourself getting hungry or lunchtime arriving. Do you chuck all the pressure and take your salad or sandwich outside or go to the lounge to eat in peace and quiet, perhaps with your favorite CD or book? Do you spend half your lunch break enjoying eating and the rest taking a pleasant stroll or chatting with a treasured colleague? Of course not. You either gobble food while you’re working or forgo it altogether.

When you’re bursting with stress because you’ve taken on too much and can’t set limits or have to do every piece of work perfectly, you set yourself up for abusing food and your body. If you eat while you’re working, you probably inhale the food and feel unsatisfied when you’re done, or overeat and feel stuffed. If you postpone feeding hunger, you create a situation in which it continues to grow and grow until you’re ready to eat the hair off your arm. And just what kind of food choices are you going to make when you’re starving? Poor ones. And how are you going to eat those poor choices? In an unconscious feeding frenzy. Catch my drift?

Another way that work causes eating malfunctions is due to the underlying feelings of anger, resentment, helplessness, and powerlessness when you’re unhappy there (even when it’s your own doing!). When you’re nursing one long grievance against your boss, coworkers, or the system in which you work, you’re always on edge and frustrated. Feeling undervalued, taken advantage of, and put upon does not make for healthy, pleasurable eating moments. Instead of stewing and chewing, you could ask to see your boss about lightening your load. But, honestly, isn’t it more likely that on the way to her office you’ll get sidelined by the snack machine and end up snarfing down a couple of packages of Tostitos instead?

No More Nice Girl Manifesto at Work

DO

• Think long and hard before responding to requests and demands.

• Ask others for help when you need it without worrying what they’ll think of you.

• Enjoy your achievements and successes and take credit for them

• Stop feeling guilty when you say no

• Risk not getting approval if you need to confront or challenge someone.

• Find outside people to help you establish a realistic perspective of your work attitude and behavior.

• Change jobs or careers if yours is too stressful.

• Recognize that it’s not your job to solve everyone’s problems at work.

• Acknowledge that you’re allowed to be imperfect and make mistakes.

• Realize that you’ll have to make changes slowly to see where they will lead you.

• Seek self-approval over other approval.

• Let everyone be responsible for herself or himself.

• Take all your vacation time and stay home when you’re sick or exhausted.

DON’T

• Automatically say yes because you think it’s expected of you.

• Let someone else take credit for a job you’ve done.

• Refuse help when you need it or wait until you’re in over your head to keep you from drowning.

• Keep doing more and more in the hopes of getting attention and recognition.

• Be afraid of speaking your mind appropriately.

• Let guilt or fear of feeling it dictate what you choose to do or not do.

• Allow yourself to be constantly stressed and believe you can’t do anything about it.

• Imagine that you’re indispensable because you’re not and neither is anyone else in your workplace.

• Automatically pick up someone’s slack because you don’t want him or her to get into trouble.

• Lose sleep over work or let it take over your life.

Real-life tips for de-nicing at work
A word here about consequences of changing behavior at work versus with friends or family. Because you’re paid for what you do, you do have to be a wee bit cautious about how you approach de-nicing yourself. Your employers are not like your friends or family — if your brother doesn’t speak to you for a year, so what; if you lose a friend, you’ll find another. But the consequences of changing behavior at work are generally more serious. I don’t want you to lose your job. If you decide on your own that it’s too stressful or doesn’t bring out your best qualities, well, good for you. Move on. But until you make the decision that you’re out of there, take change slowly.

Try on new behavior gradually; talk to a friendly boss or supervisor about how best to go about standing up for yourself. Let people know that you’re trying to be more up front and solicit feedback from people you trust. Go slowly and take baby steps. Find someone outside your job to use as a support, a person who doesn’t have a stake in how things go at work or in you acting one way over another. Give yourself time to change and notice how you feel about you: If you’re feeling better and better about yourself and have more pride and confidence, you’re moving in the right direction, no matter what anyone else says.

Sometimes when you assert yourself at work, people will start to treat you differently. You’ll notice some being cold and standoffish and others showing you more respect, including not violating your personal boundaries. It may take them a while if they have a stake in you being Ms. Nice, but give them time to get used to the new you and see how the dust settles.

To do today
If it will stress you out, refuse a request at work.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Karen R. Koenig, the author of Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever (Copyright © 2009 by Karen R. Koenig), is a cognitive-behavioral therapist and author of three books on eating and weight. A national speaker, she regularly teaches workshops on eating to groups around the country. She lives in Sarasota, Florida.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Are You Overweight Because You’re Just Too Nice?
• Does Your Family Make You Fat?
• Stop Being a People Pleaser and Take Control of Your Diet
• Is Being a Perfectionist Ruining Your Life?

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever
• Read the book’s Introduction
• Learn more about Karen R. Koenig
  

A cleaner, healthier lifestyle can bring us closer to nature and to the people we love. This is something I think we all crave — but our fast- paced lives and toxic environment don’t always make it easy to have. As the need to do something about our environmental health crisis becomes more urgent, I predict that making green consumer choices will become an easier and more natural part of your daily life. Until corporate farmers and manufacturers clean up their act, however, we must remain vigilant and ask questions: What is a product’s source? What ingredients does it contain and how well studied are they? What are the ramifications of its farming or manufacturing process? Is there a more sustainable, safer alternative I can buy?

Remember that building a greener world is a journey that we’re all taking together. Share what you learn with your friends and family, to encourage them to join the Green Revolution too. Together we truly can make a difference. Here’s to your health!

A Greener You Top Ten
Here is a checklist of the top ten things you can do today to make your life a little greener and cleaner. I encourage you to visit my Web site, dienviro.com, for more tips and to share your success stories.

1. Don’t smoke, drink in moderation, and avoid secondhand smoke whenever possible — especially if you have children.
2. Exercise to improve your cardiovascular health, reduce your stress, sweat out toxins, and maintain a healthy weight.
3. Read food labels. Choose organic whenever you can and avoid foods that are grown with pesticides, hormones, and antibiotics.
4. Buy local. This supports your neighboring farmers and reduces energy consumption required by the global transport of goods. Food from your farmers’ market is healthier and fresher because it hasn’t traveled thousands of miles to reach your dinner table.
5. Use the Skin Deep database (cosmeticsdatabase.com) to help you find cosmetics and personal-care products that are free of fragrance, parabens, and other toxic chemicals. Let companies know if they need a makeover. Ask them to sign the Compact for Safe Cosmetics, which is a pledge to substitute chemicals linked to birth defects, infertility, cancer, brain damage, and other serious health consequences with safer alternatives.
6. Go chlorine free on all your paper products (especially feminine hygiene needs) to reduce your exposure to dioxin, a carcinogen released when chlorinated products are incinerated.
7. Green your cleaning. Look for nontoxic alternatives like my Imus Greening the Cleaning products) to harmful household cleaners that contain bleach and other toxins. Baking soda, white vinegar, and lemon juice can handle a lot of your cleaning challenges. Visit imusranchfoods.com and dienviro.com for more information.
8. Reduce, reuse. Take care of the clothes you already have. Don’t let a little wear send you on a shopping spree — swap with friends instead. When you do buy new, look for organic fabrics and nontoxic dyes manufactured in sweatshop-free conditions.
9. Explore alternatives to artificial estrogens. Women who have prolonged exposure to estrogens are at higher risk for breast cancer, and major studies continue to show an increased risk when postmenopausal women use hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Women who use both birth control pills and — later in life — HRT face an even greater risk of breast cancer than those who use neither. Explore your options with your doctor.
10. Choose safer supplements. Check for the USP label and do your homework to make sure your supplements contain what they say they do and are free of contaminants.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Deirdre Imus, author of The Essential Green You: Easy Ways to Detox Your Diet, Your Body, and Your Life (Copyright © 2009 by Git’R Green, Inc.), is the founder and president of Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology®, part of Hackensack University Medical Center (HUMC) in New Jersey. She is also a co-founder and co-director of the Imus Castle Ranch for Kids with Cancer and the author of the bestselling book The Imus Ranch: Cooking for Kids and Cowboys.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 4 Holistic Health Practices to Try
• 4 Questions to Ask When Shopping for Green Cleaning Products
• Essential Green Cleaning Products: How to Clean Your Home Naturally
• 7 Reasons Children Are Exceptionally Sensitive to Everyday Chemicals
• Nourishing Baby: Smart Choices for Moms — Plus, How to Find Safe Baby Bottles

LEARN MORE

• Learn more about The Essential Green You: Easy Ways to Detox Your Diet, Your Body, and Your Life
• Watch the video: Easy green lifestyle changes anyone can make
  

1. Aging Is Really About Trade-offs
Despite what you think, aging — in the traditional way that we think of it, with everything slowly and painfully shutting down — isn’t “meant to be.” It’s not an effect of life. It’s actually more of a side effect of a grander plan for humans.

A lot of people think that creaky joints, craggy nails, and cranky bowels are simply part of the deal. You get to live to eighty-something; then, in exchange, you’re going to have your fair share of misery along the rest of the way. Horrible being old, eh? Hold on. Yes, there is a trade-off, but it’s not that one. If you take a look at every biological process that happens in your body, there’s an evolutionary reason why it works that way, and that reason, without fail, is to ensure the survival of the species. That is, evolution has deemed the perpetuation of your genes to be much more important than the perpetuation of your individual life. Your biological processes are designed to protect you only long enough to reproduce and to raise your young. In fact, it wasn’t until the mid-twentieth century — at least in developed countries — that human beings could expect to live much beyond their reproductive years.

Those processes that make perfect sense for reproduction may not work in your favor as you get older. That’s aging. The systems designed to protect you until you finish reproducing (whether you’re actually reproducing is unimportant) can be maladaptive as you age. When you look at aging through the lens of the gene, rather than the lens of the individual, it all makes much more sense. These trade-offs are what we’ll occasionally refer to as the YOU-nified theory of aging — the fact that aging isn’t some master plan for life but, rather, an offshoot.

2. Aging Isn’t About Breaking Down as Much as It Is About Repair
Stuff breaks. Cars, computers, and relationships all have their own breaking points. And to suggest that stuff will not break either through acute injury (a five alarm fire or a torn knee ligament) or from wear and tear over time (a fifty-year old roadway or an overused back) would be misleading. While it’s obviously important to keep your biological systems from breaking down, the real secret to longevity isn’t whether or not you break; it’s how well you recover and repair when you do. Our bodies, in fact, weren’t designed not to break down (legs as thick as redwoods may not break, but they wouldn’t be very nimble). They were designed with a great efficiency and ability to repair themselves.

As with a car, you’ll get a lot more mileage out of your body if you perform routine maintenance. Aging is essentially a process in which your cells lose their resilience; they lose their ability to repair damage because the things you might never have heard of (until now), like mitochondria and telomeres, aren’t working the way they should. But it’s within your power to boost that resilience and keep your vehicle going an extra couple hundred thousand miles.

3. Aging Happens from Both the Inside Out and the Outside In
Many of us like to think that aging is a magical process that happens deep within our bodies; that some so-called gremlins of gerontology ratchet down our cells and our systems so we grow old. You’ll learn that aging is not only about those cellular processes, but, more important, it’s how you respond, adapt to, and deal with the stressors that affect you from the outside — things like sun and stress and slippery sidewalks. What does that mean? It means that aging is really about the rate of aging — specifically, how the outside and inside factors accelerate or decelerate your aging. Here’s the big secret about aging: Your rate of aging doubles every eight years. So, if we were able to maintain a forty-year-old’s rate of aging for the rest of our lives, we would live past age one hundred twenty and “die of old age.” While inside out and outside in both play a role — and both influence each other — your job is to try to manage both forms, so that you slow the real culprit in growing old: the rate of aging.

4. Aging Is Not About Individual Problems but Compounded Ones
Spend any time at a deli counter, and you know that Swiss cheese has two different looks. Big holes or small holes, all in random order and patterns. A good way to think about aging is to imagine yourself looking through a dozen slices of stacked-up Swiss cheese. If the holes are small and the slices are thick, you can’t see through the stack. Now pretend that each of these Swiss cheese slices represents a layer of protection that your body provides to prevent aging. People who are vibrant and strong may have small holes in their system — stuff that lets through a few problems, but nothing too major. Maybe they’ve got a little hole in their slice of heart health, and a few little holes in their slice of brain health, and a medium-sized hole in their slice of chromosome health. Nothing major lets you see through the stack.

As aging takes effect, however, those holes can get a little bigger, or the cheese can get a little thinner. When big holes from one slice perfectly align with big holes from another slice, then, in effect, you’ve got big problems. That’s a little bit what aging is like: The small problems may not have a big effect here and there, but when they grow, and when they interact with other problems, then you’ve created what we like to call a (cue scary orchestra music) web of causality. That’s when seemingly small health problems spiral into bigger ones — all possibly triggered by several different causes.

5. Aging Is Reversible — All You Need Is a Nudge
Most people think aging is a landslide of a process, that we’re destined to use walkers and hearing aids and thick glasses no matter what. And while we’re not saying that you will absolutely avoid all the bumps (big and small) along the way, we are saying that aging isn’t as inevitable as a morning trip to the bathroom.

What you will learn is how to nudge your systems so that they work in your favor, to create leverage points in life. And the great thing is that it’s never too early or too late to start making these changes. You don’t need a complete overhaul, because, frankly, your body is a pretty fine piece of machinery. What you’ll ultimately do is find and fix your own personal weak links — the things that make you most vulnerable to the effects of aging. The cumulative effect of those nudges, though not major from a behavioral or even a biological perspective, can be huge when it comes to increasing the length and quality of your life.

The truth about aging is that you — right now — have the ability to live 35 percent longer than expected (today’s life expectancy is seventy-five for men and eighty for women) with a greater quality of life and without frailty. That means it’s reasonable to say that you can get to one hundred or beyond and enjoy a good quality of life along the way. While relying on the talents, skills, and knowledge of others may get you out of a medical jam, what you really want is to avoid it in the first place. Restricting calories, increasing your strength, and getting quality sleep are three of nature’s best anti-aging medicines. Together, these activities — as well as the other actions we recommend — control 70 percent of how well you age. Wouldn’t you want to hold the power of your future in your hands, rather than put it in someone else’s?

Just because you’ve made mistakes in the past doesn’t mean you can’t reverse them. Even if you’ve had burgers for breakfast or fried your brain cells with stress, you’re not necessarily destined to wear husky pants and forget birthdays. No matter what kind of life you’ve already led, aging is reversible: You can have a do-over if you want it. If you perform a good habit for three years, the effect on your body is as if you’ve done it your entire life. Even better, within three months of changing a behavior, you can start to measure a difference in your life expectancy.

As we said, aging is inevitable, but the rate of aging is not. Consider this fact: Only 10 percent of people are classified as frail when they’re in their seventies. By the time people reach one hundred, almost 100 percent are considered frail. What we’re trying to do is make sure that percentage stays lower for longer. We want you to feel as good at the end of the race as you do at the start.

Our goal here is to ensure that you have a high quality of life until whatever time — forgive our bluntness — you drop dead. That’s the ideal scenario, right? Nobody wants to spend their golden years on diets of Jell-O, suffering from bedsores, or not remembering the previous nine decades. You want to feel like you’re thirty even when you’re eighty. You want to have the wisdom of a grandparent without feeling like one. So our goal isn’t to get you to 120 — unless those 120 years come with quality.

After all, living longer shouldn’t be about “taking longer to die,” which is what so many people think it means. It should be about enjoying every moment of a longer life — and taking longer to live.

You want to live long and live well. You want to feel alive while you’re living.

You don’t want to grow old. You want to stay young.

This is the way.

Now hup to it.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Michael F. Roizen, M.D., is a New York Times bestselling author and cofounder and originator of the very popular RealAge.com website. He is professor and chair of the Division of Anesthesia, Critical Care Medicine, and Pain Management, and chief wellness officer of the Cleveland Clinic. Mehment C. Oz, M.D., is also a New York Times bestselling author and the health expert of The Oprah Winfrey Show. He is professor and vice-chairman of surgery at New York Presbyterian Columbia University and the medical director of the Integrated Medicine Center and the director of the Heart Institute. They are the coauthors of YOU: Staying Young: The Owner’s Manual for Extending Your Warranty (Copyright © 2007 by Michael F. Roizen, M.D., and Oz Works LLC).

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• 4 Foolproof Energy Boosters
• 7 Tips for Controlling Your Hunger’s On and Off Switches
• 10 Steps to a Better Love Life
• Get Great Guts: 4 Ways to Slow the Aging Process by Caring for Your Digestive System
• Protect Those Baby Blues
• Your Body as a Rubber Band: A New Way to Think About Dieting

LEARN MORE

• Read an Chapter 1 of YOU: Staying Young: The Owner’s Manual for Extending Your Warranty
• Browse more books by the authors

This whole need-to-burn-more-calories-than-we-eat fact is not new. I’m sure you’ve heard it before, even if you never fully understand all the nuances. And yet, 60 percent of us are overweight. The problem certainly isn’t lack of knowledge. Walk into any hospital or doctor’s office and count the number of overweight physicians and nurses — chances are it will be about 60 percent, the same proportion as the rest of the population. These are people who make their living dispensing health advice. If the equation is so simple, why aren’t we all thin?

Part of the reason is that, as we all intuitively know, there is more to eating than just knowing about calories. Food plays a central role in our lives — it is part of every celebration and ceremony, it can express our ethnic heritage and traditions, and it brings families together. We give gifts of food to express love or friendship. Cooking can be a point of pride, a creative outlet, or even part of a healing ritual — the medicinal power of chicken soup comes from its preparation as much as its ingredients. Food and weight are societal problems as much as individual ones.

It is a sad fact that our society is not designed to keep you healthy. Sure, we have wonderful physicians and other health care workers who will try to cure you when you are sick, but there are few supports for people who want to pursue wellness. Real world nutrition guidance is especially lacking. When was the last time you saw a television commercial for a healthy food? There have been a few — ads for milk, orange juice, and oatmeal come to mind — but they are rare. What we have is a nearly steady stream of media messages designed to encourage you to buy foods that are unhealthy.

Food Myths
If you don’t have a basic understanding of the forces working to try to control your eating, you don’t stand a chance in this world. Messages that are among the most dangerous try to trick or seduce you into eating foods that are high in calories, foods that are more likely to cause weight gain. These messages include:

• Fun. Ideally, food is flavorful, nutritious, filling, satisfying, and memorable. It can’t really be “fun.” Watch television commercials that tell you a particular food is fun, and you’re likely to see people dancing or laughing hysterically while they eat. You’ll see them tossing the food in the air, or the food itself transforms into a cartoon object. The food will draw crowds, create instant parties, and make the eater popular. In reality, we know that no food can make us dance or laugh, but the images are so powerful. They make us wish our lives were that carefree and happy. Even if we don’t consciously remember the dancing and laughing, the general good feelings evoked by the commercials will carry over into the supermarket. We pick the product up off the shelf, somehow feel good about our decision, and bring it home. It’s as though someone were casting a happy spell on us whenever we look at the product. Once you become aware of the “fun” messages, the subconscious spell is broken.

• Reward. Using food as a reward is a sure way to become overweight. There’s no doubt about it — food is enjoyable. That’s what makes it work as a reward. We learned this when we were young when our parents rewarded us with our favorite foods if we behaved. But when we use food as a tool instead of as a way of nourishing our bodies, then it becomes an object of desire, something positive to attain. But instead of winning a blue ribbon for our efforts, we win an extra inch of fat on our thighs or waist. It is OK to splurge on a high-calorie food once in a while, but it’s important to be conscious of when and why you are doing it. You never “deserve” a piece of cake. You don’t have to win it or earn it. Food should never be a prize. Eat it, or don’t eat it, but don’t rationalize it. Be wary of products that seduce you with a message of how deserving you are — they are playing with your emotions, trying to make you feel deprived even when you might otherwise be perfectly content.

• Energy. All foods contain energy because all foods contain calories. Remember, a calorie is simply a unit of energy-producing potential — when you “burn” a calorie, you release that energy. There are many, many advertisements for foods that purport to “give you energy.” In reality, no food can give you energy beyond what you get from calories — not vitamins, not minerals, not herbs, not caffeine. If a product is said to give energy, it must be high in calories. That’s why it is legal (and honest) for a candy bar to claim to give you energy. It doesn’t mean that it is necessarily healthy for you, just that it has a lot of calories — usually in the form of sugar.

• Beauty. It always amazes me to see toothpick-thin young women on television shows or advertisements casually eating pints of ice cream, large helpings of pizza, or whole cheesecakes. We know in our heads that these are just images, and that the actresses weren’t really eating all that food — it was acting. When the camera stopped rolling, they spat out whatever was in their mouths. No one can eat as much of the kinds of treat foods we see being eaten on television and still be that thin. This sets up an unobtainable standard of beauty — a size-2 life full of indulgences. In reality, it is impossible. We cannot eat incessantly and unthinkingly without gaining weight. We know that, and yet we are fooled again and again. In the 1990s, when the tobacco companies came under fire for using advertisements to entice children into starting to smoke, they adopted a voluntary marketing code. One of the outcomes was that we rarely see healthy, active people smoking in ads anymore. No more water-skiing smokers, football-playing smokers, or anything else that would suggest that smokers get some active health benefit from cigarettes. I’d like to see the same type of code enacted for eating — no more skinny models eating corn chips in an aggressive frenzy, no more weightless angels popping cakes into their mouths. Truth in advertising has to extend to food.

• Bigger. When did we ever lose sight of the old adage less is more? Now, everything is supersized. It seems like a good deal for you, but did you ever wonder why the fast-food companies bother to give you so much more food for so little money? Trust me, it’s not for your benefit. It has to be worth money to those companies, otherwise the practice wouldn’t continue. They make incremental pennies on that single supersize purchase, but their main goal is to build an army of loyal customers who will return again and again. How do you build a better customer for fast food? Simple. Make her fat so that she needs to eat more. (It’s just like building a customer for cigarettes — entice young women with images of glamour or the empty promise of weight loss and then continue to sell cigarettes long after they are addicted.) With inexpensive food so easily available, it becomes a cheap and easy meal solution to pop into the local burger outlet for enough food to satisfy. We’ve been marketed into the next-size jeans. And in case you didn’t notice, part of the allure of fast-food restaurants is the promise of “fun.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Marie Savard, M.D., author of The Body Shape Solution to Weight Loss and Wellness: The Apples & Pears Approach to Losing Weight, Living Longer, and Feeling Healthier (Copyright © 2005 by Marie Savard, M.D.), is a nationally known internist, women’s health expert, and advocate for patients’ rights. She is the author of the highly acclaimed How to Save Your Own Life and the creator of The Savard Health Record. She lives in Philadelphia.

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The Body Shape Solution to Weight Loss and Wellness
• See the book’s Table of Contents

Deciding what to put in your mouth (and what not to) greatly influences how well or how quickly your digestive system ages. By taking these steps, you’ll keep your innards running smoothly, so you can too.

YOU Tip: Add Bulk. The food duo with the most muscle: fiber and water. Together they keep your food bulky and soft so it can move easily through your system without putting too much pressure on your intestines. Remember, without water, fiber often turns to cement. Containing no calories but still making you feel full, fiber combined with water helps your digestive system and your overall health because it helps keep you from eating the other things that are more likely to lead to problems associated with obesity, like heart disease and diabetes. Fiber is found in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, oats, beans, and some cereals. Your goal: 35 grams a day for women and 25 grams a day for men.

YOU Tip: Shower Your Insides. You hear the advice about drinking eight 8-ounce glasses of water almost as much as you hear “the tribe has spoken.” There’s no magic to this number, and the right amount varies according to your activity level and size, so if you want, just drink enough water so that your urine is clear. Or 8 X 8 ounces might be easier. Of all the reasons H20 (preferably filtered) is oh-so-good, the work it does for your guts is one of the best. For starters, it helps lubricate everything so food can slide through more easily. Plus, it helps quell hunger, fights bad breath, and helps you avoid dry mouth. Your mechanism for detecting thirst doesn’t work as well when you’re older as it does when you’re young, which makes it that much more important to remind yourself to drink regularly throughout the day — before your body even tells you it’s time.

YOU Tip: Play the Elimination Game. The best way to experiment with foods that may be causing you general digestive irritation is to do the food elimination test. For three days in a row, eliminate certain groups of food from your diet-dairy products, wheat products, and sugars being the top three to try. Write down how you feel during those days, and notice any changes in digestive feelings as well as things like your energy level. The test will give you insight not into allergies specifically but into food irritabilities symptoms that can make you feel like you have a touch of the flu. Another bonus: Learning to eliminate certain groups (sugars and refined carbohydrates, especially) can also help you lose weight.

YOU Tip: Choose Your Fats. You may know that there are good fats and bad fats. The good fats (omega-3 fats) come in the form of fatty fish, great greens, and supplements of fish oil, fresh flaxseed oil, or DHA, and walnuts, while the bad fats (like saturated and trans fats) come in the form of brownies and burgers. But there’s a reason why one fat leads directly to fat on your waist, while the other helps clear your arteries. Trans fats are rigid, so they make your arteries spasm and cause dangerous inflammation, while omega-3s relax your arteries and quell inflammation.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Michael F. Roizen, M.D., is a New York Times bestselling author and cofounder and originator of the very popular RealAge.com website. He is professor and chair of the Division of Anesthesia, Critical Care Medicine, and Pain Management, and chief wellness officer of the Cleveland Clinic. Mehment C. Oz, M.D., is also a New York Times bestselling author and the health expert of The Oprah Winfrey Show. He is professor and vice-chairman of surgery at New York Presbyterian Columbia University and the medical director of the Integrated Medicine Center and the director of the Heart Institute. They are the coauthors of YOU: Staying Young: The Owner’s Manual for Extending Your Warranty (Copyright © 2007 by Michael F. Roizen, M.D., and Oz Works LLC).

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• 4 Foolproof Energy Boosters
• 7 Tips for Controlling Your Hunger’s On and Off Switches
• 10 Steps to a Better Love Life
• Protect Those Baby Blues
• The Truth About Aging: 5 Principles of Longevity
• Your Body as a Rubber Band: A New Way to Think About Dieting

LEARN MORE

• Read an Chapter 1 of YOU: Staying Young: The Owner’s Manual for Extending Your Warranty
• Browse more books by the authors

We all know the most important thing to do to protect our eyes: Cover them when we see an oncoming bug, ball, spear, fist, or any other torpedoing projectile. But we can’t rely on eyelids, windshields, and safety goggles for everything. Here are a few ways to protect those baby blues.

YOU Tip: Block Those Rays. Sunglasses do more than hide you from paparazzi and make you look cooler than an Alaskan iceberg. They’ll protect your eyes from those nasty UVA and UVB rays. For best protection, follow these strategies:

• Find glasses that filter out both kinds of rays (they don’t have to be expensive). Look for a label that specifically states 99 percent or 100 percent UV protection. An eye care pro can test them if you’re unsure.

• They should be dark enough to reduce glare but not dark enough to distort colors, which could affect your recognition of traffic signals. Tint is a matter of personal preference.

• People with contact lenses made with UV protection should still wear sunglasses.

• Since UV rays can still enter from the sides and top of sunglasses, it’s smart to wear a hat with a three inch brim to help block light.

• Make sure you goggle up with UV-protective eyewear, especially when you’re on the slopes or in the water. Skiing (water and snow) may be dangerous not only to your knees but to your eyes as well, because they’re being pummeled by both refractive and reflective light beams that bounce off the water or snow. So you have higher UV exposure on snow, water, and concrete because these surfaces reflect UV rays. (You also get higher radiation at high altitudes and low latitudes, like near Everest or the Caribbean.) Follow the same rule for your eyes as you do your skin: If you’re going to be exposed to the sun, do what you can to block as much as you can.

YOU Tip: See an Eye Doc. That’s once every two years after age forty-even if you don’t experience any changes in your vision. Besides being able to detect some asymptomatic problems like glaucoma, your doc gets to sneak a peek at the blood vessels in your brain and at your brain itself. As we said earlier, ophthalmologists often are the first docs to detect conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure.

YOU Tip: Feed Your Eyes. Of course, there aren’t too many things you actually want to put directly into your eyes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t pull the ol’ end around: through the digestive system. By getting the right nutrients, you can make sure that enough of them are diverted to your orbs. Our recommendations:

• Lutein: Found in spinach, leafy green vegetables, and corn, lutein seems to improve the health of your eyes by preventing oxidative damage to your retina. You can also take it in supplement form at 6 to 30 milligrams daily.

• Vitamin C: Research shows that people who eat more fruits and vegetables (which contain vitamin C and other bioflavonoids) are less likely to develop eye conditions than those who eat fewer.

• Glutathione: Eggs, garlic, avocados, asparagus, and onions have the free-radical scavenger glutathione, which has been shown to be effective for preventing cataracts (at 500 mg dose). The supplement n-acetylcysteine also helps (also 500 mg daily dose).

• The eye cocktail: A large study sponsored by the National Institutes of Health found that certain vitamins, when taken together, can help prevent vision loss for those who have age-related macular degeneration. (It wasn’t studied to show preventive powers for those who don’t have the disease.) The study found that those people who already had wet macular degeneration had a more than 25 percent reduction in their risk of vision loss if they took 500 milligrams of vitamin C, 400IU of vitamin E, 15 milligrams of beta-carotene (yes, carrots are good for your eyes), 80 milligrams of zinc, and 2 milligrams of copper every day in divided doses. P.S.: We think that a lower dose of 30 milligrams of zinc is safer for longer periods of time.

YOU Tip: Sit Back. There’s no evidence to suggest that prolonged TV exposure is bad for your eyes (maybe your brain cells, depending on what you’re watching, but that’s a whole different story). But that’s only if you make sure that you’re sitting the proper distance away so your eyes can accommodate to the picture. Take the diagonal screen length of your TV and make sure you sit at least that far away from it.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Michael F. Roizen, M.D., is a New York Times bestselling author and cofounder and originator of the very popular RealAge.com website. He is professor and chair of the Division of Anesthesia, Critical Care Medicine, and Pain Management, and chief wellness officer of the Cleveland Clinic. Mehment C. Oz, M.D., is also a New York Times bestselling author and the health expert of The Oprah Winfrey Show. He is professor and vice-chairman of surgery at New York Presbyterian Columbia University and the medical director of the Integrated Medicine Center and the director of the Heart Institute. They are the coauthors of YOU: Staying Young: The Owner’s Manual for Extending Your Warranty (Copyright © 2007 by Michael F. Roizen, M.D., and Oz Works LLC).

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• 4 Foolproof Energy Busters
• 7 Tips for Controlling Your Hunger’s On and Off Switches
• 10 Steps to a Better Love Life
• Get Great Guts: 4 Ways to Slow the Aging Process by Caring for Your Digestive System
• The Truth About Aging: 5 Principles of Longevity
• Your Body as a Rubber Band: A New Way to Think About Dieting

LEARN MORE

• Read an Chapter 1 ofYOU: Staying Young: The Owner’s Manual for Extending Your Warranty
• Browse more books by the authors
  

Not surprising, if anyone can push your buttons, family members can. After all, they not only know what all your buttons are, some of them were responsible for creating them to begin with. One of the biggest problems with food and family is that they’re both around a lot — together. You’re visiting your mother, sitting in her kitchen drinking coffee surrounded by food, out with your sister for a monthly dinner, making lunch or a snack for the kids at home. When family comes to visit, it’s often for a meal, especially a holiday one.

Another reason family interactions can make you nutty is that family history goes back such a long way. Within your family of origin, you’ve been playing nice girl for decades. You’re locked into particular ways of relating that you and they are probably not even aware of. They can shoot up your blood pressure by a look or a word and make you want to beat a fast retreat before you’ve even taken off your coat.

Moreover, we like to put family in a special, idealized category — the people who have to take us in, the folks who will go to any lengths for us because we’re blood, those who love us most (or so they say). We often expect more from family than from nonfamily members, which makes it even worse when they let us down. We might let other folks get away with being ignorant or petty or having faults in general, but we have high standards for relatives, just as they do for us. Especially if you’re the Jill-of-all-trades and family caretaker, the assumptions and expectations members have of you is a setup for high stress and low satisfaction all around. And for you climbing into your kitchen cabinet and staying there.

Okay, okay already, you might be saying, I get it. Sometimes I’m more there for family members than for myself, but what can I do about it in practical terms? I just can’t stop being me and turn into someone else overnight. I have responsibilities and I’m not gonna drop ’em all and fly off to Tahiti tomorrow with Brad Pitt! Of course you’re not. Far be it from me to suggest that you go from being a goody-goody to a good-for-nothing. To give you a taste of what to do in real, practical, everyday terms, I’ve developed a No More Nice Girl Manifesto for you to live by around your family, a list of dos and don’ts for how to think and behave to give yourself that nice-ectomy you need and start turning around your relationship with food.

No More Nice Girl Manifesto for Family

DO

• Maintain lots of contact with family members who are kind and caring about you and avoid ones who are energy drainers and aren’t looking out for your interests.

• Make sure that family members are doing their fair share (in physical, financial, and emotional terms) to make the family unit work.

• Prioritize attending family events and get-togethers rather than attend them all and feel resentful or not go and feel guilty.

• Ask for help taking care of difficult family members (poor old Aunt Kathy who complains about everything to everyone) or ones whose care is time-consuming (your wheelchair-bound son with muscular dystrophy).

• Seek balance in relationships. If you’re taking physical care of someone who can’t do for himself, he should at the very least be appreciative and thank you in every way he can.

• Take time for yourself whether family members like it or not.

• Tell family members when they are too demanding and their requests are out of line.

• Teach your children to come to you when they truly need help (physical or emotional) and to work things out for themselves when they’re able.

• Opt out of any adult living arrangement that is not mutual and where you feel like someone’s mother or maid. Others need to grow up and you need to let them.

• Delegate tasks even if family members don’t do things as well or as quickly as you’d like. You’ve been aspiring to be superhuman all your life. Give them a chance to learn how to be responsible for themselves.

• Develop and maintain close relationships with people outside the family. The experience will be refreshing and give you a new perspective on your blood ties.

DON’T

• Feel sorry for family members who are such miserable characters that they’ve pushed everyone else away. They made their bed, so (except in life-or-death situations) let them lie in it.

• Believe that you’re indispensable. You’d like to think so and perhaps family members would too, but you’re not. No one is.

• Let any family member guilt-trip you into doing anything you don’t want to.

• Feel you have to do everything yourself and that you’re weak if you ask for help.

• Automatically say yes to family requests. Instead, get into the habit of saying, “Let me think about it and get back to you.”

• Infantilize family members whether they’re old or young. Don’t prevent them from doing what they’re capable of and what is age appropriate.

• Be a poor role model for your children by not taking care of yourself. If you insist on being one, make sure this book stays in good condition ’cause they’re gonna need it.

• Try to be strong all the time. Instead, aim for mentally healthy, which is a combination of independent, dependent, and interdependent.

• Let family members undermine your self-esteem, self-worth, or self-care — ever.

• Allow family members to tell you that you’re a selfish you-know-what just because you want to take time for yourself. Most likely they’re the selfish ones.

• Play peacemaker in family squabbles. The role of mediator is stressful and you don’t want to go from peacemaker to pacemaker.

Well, now that you’ve had your first lesson in self-care, how does it feel? Terrifying, exhilarating, overwhelming, a bit of all three? Pay attention to whether you’re thinking about food to take away uncomfortable feelings. Instead of wending your way toward the kitchen, just experience your emotions and reflect on what you’ve read and learned. Take a few deep breaths and relax.

To do today
Ask a family member to do something just for you, then sit back and enjoy the moment

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Karen R. Koenig, the author of Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever (Copyright © 2009 by Karen R. Koenig), is a cognitive-behavioral therapist and author of three books on eating and weight. A national speaker, she regularly teaches workshops on eating to groups around the country. She lives in Sarasota, Florida.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 23 Do’s and Don’ts to Prevent Packing on the Pounds at Work
• Are You Overweight Because You’re Just Too Nice?
• Is Being a Perfectionist Ruining Your Life?
• Stop Being a People Pleaser and Take Control of Your Diet

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever
• Read Chapter 1 of the book
• Learn more about the author

Two Sisters Share
“New normal” means I can no longer put off that trip, or writing my memoirs for the grandchildren, or passing along my faith to my children, or telling my family, “I love you.” “New normal” also means a full calendar with many scheduled visits to the doctors for treatments, blood tests, and scans. It sometimes means less energy, but the luxury of afternoon naps. It means limiting some physical activities like lifting groceries and laundry, carrying grandkids, leaning over the tub to bathe the dog, or running downstairs. It can mean a missed meeting or visit with family due to a low white blood count, which means my immune system is down, and I would probably catch whatever bug is going around. It also means becoming more humble. I have lost my hair three times… I have learned to live in the moment, and each moment has become precious.

It’s easier to do the important things, like going to a museum and having lunch with a friend, and let the unimportant things, like housework, go. Relationships with loved ones and friends become very important, and I have developed a deeper relationship with God.  — Nancy Tuttle

I have read that breast cancer and its aftermath are like a broken mirror — once you have had it, your life never fits back the way it went before. I see the struggle differently. For me it was an enforced unburdening. I had to let go of a great deal that had to do with the material world, to pare down, in order to muster the energy to fight the disease. My job slipped away; my unfinished dissertation gathered dust; everything that was not about tending and being tended by loved ones fell away. My connection with the outside world — through the cultural institution where I worked, with the preschool where my son, Oliver, goes, with my own school — receded. My one and only institutional affiliation, my new place of hope and healing and trials-by-fire and down-on-your-knees nausea, was my oncologist’s office and the nurses with their chemotherapy lifelines.  — Leslie Furth

Mentoring Moment
Initially, I fought the “new normal.” I would think, I am only having breast cancer and radiation, then I’ll get back to life. Have you had those thoughts too? We hope breast cancer is just a bump in the road, but it is more like a detour. BC often stands for breast cancer, but for me it meant “before cancer” — BC, I had a memory for detail, was a multitasker and organizer, and my husband balanced me with his calm, laid-back personality. At first, neither of us knew how to adjust to the changes in me. Out of necessity, we quickly learned to shift and change some roles. I always balanced the checkbook and paid bills, but now it took hours, and I made mistakes. Dave took over bill paying, and I readily relinquished it.

Another “old normal” that had to change was my role of social coordinator, planner, and hostess for our family gatherings. New traditions replaced the old. Since I had radiation at Christmas in the middle of the house remodel, we didn’t have our annual party or a Christmas tree, and I didn’t decorate. Instead, we made a manger scene with a washtub, straw, a borrowed doll, a hanging star, and a few stuffed sheep, and we put our presents around the manger. This actually became a “new normal” tradition for us.

The next step after accepting the new normal is helping family and friends understand and adjust to your new reality. Frequently I had to sit everyone down and explain I could not do the things I did before. When they became impatient with my forgetfulness or limitations, I patiently reminded them again…it was our new normal.

Are you feeling better now about your “new normal”? There is no point in fighting it, because we can’t. I would set deadlines based on BC energy and couldn’t meet them, which made me feel defeated. I had to drop out of some things — good things. I learned to delegate, cast off, say no, take rests, and refuse to feel guilty about the changes. You are going to have to do the same. Maybe this is God’s definition of normal.

Here are a few universal, basic “new normal” tips:

• Simplify, simplify, simplify — meals might just be a big salad and fruit.

• Save your energy for things you value most.

• Lower expectations of others and yourself. This relieves stress — theirs and yours!

• Say no and mean it.

• Write things down — humbling but necessary.

• Prioritize your schedule, and eliminate low-priority, high-energy projects.

• Budget getting the house professionally cleaned, even if only twice a month.

• Remember people are coming to visit you, not to do a House Beautiful tour.

• Delegate, delegate, delegate — let someone else do something you have always done, and learn to be satisfied with the results.

• If you are a night owl, go to bed earlier.

• If you are an early-morning riser, try to catch another half hour of sleep.

• Buy something you “normally” would not buy.

• Wear something you “normally” would not wear.

• Explain to your family your “new normal” — as many times as it takes.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Janet Thompson, author of Dear God They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey (Copyright © 2006 by Janet Thompson), quit her secular career to go into full-time lay ministry, starting the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. She is the founder and director of About His Work Ministries, also known as AHW Ministries, and is a frequent speaker on topics relevant to today’s Christian women. Janet has authored several products for her Woman to Woman ministry, including Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. Janet and her husband, Dave, have four married children and nine grandchildren. They make their home in Lake Forest, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• The Top 13 Things to Do or Say and Not to Say or Do to Someone with Breast Cancer
• Talking to Children About Cancer
• What Breast Cancer Patients Should Know About Prosthesis

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey
• See the book’s Table of Contents

In addition to my daily regimen of vitamins and supplements, I rely on several different alternative therapies to maintain my health. Here’s a quick primer to get you started in the world of holistic health care, with resources if you’d like to learn more. Remember that before beginning any alternative treatment, it is important to consult your doctor (or other health-care professional) and to find a reputable, trained, licensed practitioner.

• Acupuncture. This procedure, where a healer stimulates pressure points on your body with very thin needles (or sometimes her hands), originated in China more than two thousand years ago. It’s used to treat everything from obesity to infertility, and studies have demonstrated that acupuncture can help osteoarthritis as well as soothe pain and nausea following dental operations and chemotherapy. Preliminary research also suggests that it can play a useful role in the treatment of headaches, back pain, carpal tunnel syndrome, asthma, menstrual cramps, fibromyalgia, addiction, and in stroke rehabilitation. To Learn More: Visit the American Academy of Medical Acupuncture at www.medicalacupuncture.org

• Homeopathy. This alternative medicine system is based on the theory that you can prevent or treat an illness by stimulating your body’s defenses with very small doses of homeopathic remedies made from a wide array of herbs, essential oils, and floral essences. I swear by homeopathy and frequently use Young Living essential oils and Bach Flower Essences to stay healthy. I’ve found homeopathic remedies can work on simple complaints like indigestion and menstrual cramps and also on more serious issues, like keeping your hormones balanced, which is so important given the daily onslaught of hormone disrupting chemicals we face in our environment. To Learn More: Visit the North American Society of Homeopaths at www.homeopathy.org; Bach Flower Essences are available at www.bachflower.com; Young Living essential oils are available at youngliving.us.

• Massage Therapy. There are more than eighty different kinds of massage therapies, ranging from Swedish to deep tissue to shiatsu, and which one you try is a matter of personal preference. They are all wonderful for reducing your stress level and maintaining your general sense of well-being. “Much of the information we need to heal is locked in our muscles and other body parts,” writes Christiane Northrup, MD, in her book Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing. “Getting a good massage will often release old energy blockages and help us cry or get rid of chronic pain from ‘holding the world on our shoulders.’ To Learn More: Visit the American Massage Therapy Association at amtamassage.org.

• Reiki. This ancient Japanese practice is based on the belief that our bodies contain ki, or life-force energy fields. A Reiki master places his or her hands on or near your body in order to transmit ki and improve the flow and balance of your energy fields. Reiki is used to treat stress and chronic pain and improve your immune system and sense of mental well-being. At the Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology, we also use Reiki to help patients recovering from surgery and chemotherapy. Some Reiki masters use crystals and other gemstones to neutralize negative energy; I keep pieces of malachite around my computer to protect me from the potentially dangerous electromagnetic fields it produces and sometimes carry aquamarine stones to give me more energy. To Learn More: Visit the International Association of Reiki Professionals at www.iarp.org.

A Word about Exercise
If you really want to look and feel young and healthy, forget popping pills and try going for a walk. It has always been my personal belief that exercise truly is the root of good health. So often I meet women who think all they have to do is diet, diet, diet, and the truth is, you’ll never get the body you want or improve your health if you don’t exercise as well.

Let me first clarify that when I say “the body you want,” I don’t mean becoming super skinny. That’s not healthy or sustainable! Being fit is about a lot more than a number on scale. Besides the physical benefits, you’ll find that exercise also has the power to boost your immune system and improve your mental well-being.

So what kind of exercise should you be doing? Always consult a doctor first, because it will depend on your age and current fitness level. But the Centers for Disease Control recommends that all adults get a minimum of 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise (like walking) on most days, or 20 minutes of vigorous-intensity exercise (like running) on at least 3 days per week, as well as two days of strength training (involving 6 to 8 exercises, with 8 to 12 repetitions of each move).

Even with our increasingly busy lives, I think most of us can find 20 or 30 minutes a day to exercise — and once you start, you might find you want to do more! You should do anything that seems fun for you, whether that’s walking, running, cycling, yoga, or Pilates — if you enjoy exercise, you’ll find it much easier to stick with.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Deirdre Imus, author of The Essential Green You: Easy Ways to Detox Your Diet, Your Body, and Your Life (Copyright © 2009 by Git’R Green, Inc.), is the founder and president of Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology®, part of Hackensack University Medical Center (HUMC) in New Jersey. She is also a co-founder and co-director of the Imus Castle Ranch for Kids with Cancer, and the author of the bestselling book The Imus Ranch: Cooking for Kids and Cowboys.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 4 Questions to Ask When Shopping for Green Cleaning Products
• 7 Reasons Children Are Exceptionally Sensitive to Everyday Chemicals
• Essential Green Cleaning Products: How to Clean Your Home Naturally
• Nourishing Baby: Smart Choices for Moms — Plus, How to Find Safe Baby Bottles
• Top 10 Ways to Green Your Life

LEARN MORE

• Learn more about The Essential Green You: Easy Ways to Detox Your Diet, Your Body, and Your Life
• Watch the video: Eeasy green lifestyle changes anyone can make

If you blow a fuse in your house, you can’t expect to get power back by lighting a few candles and searching for food with flashlights. You’ve got to find the bad one, replace it with a good one, reset the system, and power up. Same goes here. To restore your energy — both at the “feeling great” level and at the chemical level — it just takes some awareness and action to get your body headed in the right direction.

Scoop Up, Power Up. Some ill-advised folks might say that the greatest nutritional discovery of the last decade has been the Baconator (at a whopping 830 calories, we don’t think so). The real nutritional heroes: DHA and ribose.

DHA: The active form of omega-3 helps constitute nerve membranes and keeps the nerves to your muscles firing, as well as helps encase muscles. You can get this in fish oils or from the algae that fish eat. Try 600 mg of DHA a day (equivalent to 2 grams of fish oil if you like that taste better).

Ribose: This special sugar is made in your body and doesn’t come from food; it helps build the energy blocks of your body. Of all the things you can do to combat the effects of knee-dragging fatigue, taking a daily ribose supplement is the one that seems to really turbo-charge some people who have diseases associated with low energy. (The only side effect is that some people feel too much energy, if that’s possible.) The data aren’t good enough to recommend ribose for all of us. But if you want to give it a try, start with 500 mg three times a day for a week or so until you get used to the taste (or find a smoothie, coffee, or tea to put it in). Then go to 5 grams three times a day for three weeks to get a sense of the effect. Then you can scale back to 5 grams twice a day. By the way, since we know you’re wondering: Each 5-gram scoop contains only 20 calories, since ribose isn’t metabolized as a sugar. Taking it won’t increase your chances of becoming mistaken for a Sea World attraction. In fact, since it is a bit sweet, you might think of it as a sugar substitute. As an aside, ribose has been shown to relieve fatigue, soreness, and stiffness after exercise, and some professional athletes have reported muscular benefits after taking ribose (again, the data are too weak to say it does or doesn’t work well, since the studies just haven’t been done).

Move More to Move More. One of the best ways to increase your energy is to jump-start it with some physical activity such as walking; that brings in more nutrients since nitric oxide is released from the linings of arteries to allow blood vessels to move blood more freely. One of the greatest things about your body is that it responds to what you’re doing through mechanisms called feedback loops. You tell your body that you want to watch Scrubs reruns all night, and it responds by downshifting energy production (don’t need much muscle power to change channels). But tell your body that you need to walk around the neighborhood or swim a few laps or do an early-morning stretch-to-the-ceiling routine, and it responds by giving you the energy you need. And we know it’s sometimes tough if you have pain or sore muscles, but it’s the best way to get rid of the pain or sore muscles — to strengthen those muscles and bring nutrients to them (and take away waste products). So take advantage of these feedback loops by integrating more exercise into your routine. And start early in the day, when you have the energy to exercise. Ideally, aim for 45 minutes a day of physical activity with at least 20 minutes a day involving the sore muscles. Start by doing gentle exercise such as walking or warm-water stretching. The trick is to do only the amount or intensity that makes you feel “good tired,” not “bad tired” or in pain afterward. Tell your body which way to go, and it’s going to follow. By the way, the average person who walks a dog for 60 minutes gets only 8 minutes of physical activity when actually measured by a pedometer.* You should get 100 steps on the pedometer for every minute of walking. (*A great pedometer is one of the four things we think you should overpay for — the other three being a heart rate monitor, a pair of cross-training shoes, and an eight-inch chef’s knife.)

Sleep Eight. Blame it on the invention of electricity, more demanding jobs, or great late-night TV on F/X, but we sleep a whole lot less nowadays than we used to. On average, Americans awake at 5:47 a.m. and do not hit the bed (not when we actually sleep) until after 10:15 p.m.; that’s Not enough. While you may think that sleep is just a good way to let McDreamy enter your subconscious fantasies, sleep has the ultimate restorative powers and you need it for your hormonal balance and for increasing the rejuvenating human growth hormone, which is needed to choreograph the looking and feeling beautiful dance in your body. Growth hormone is secreted primarily when we sleep and is dependent on your sleep. We’re just not doing enough of it. Eight high-quality hours a day will help you restore energy, decrease pain, and lose weight. If you have trouble falling asleep, you may need to include some sleep tactics in your bag of bedroom tricks.

• Do nothing in your bedroom but sleep and have sex. If you work, watch TV, or work out to fitness DVDs in the room, you’re basically training your body to be alert in the bedroom space. Your bedroom should be a sanctuary from the normal hustle and bustle of life.

• Practice good sleep hygiene. That means you should make a sleep schedule (plan your eight hours); before that eight-hour period starts, give yourself ten minutes to do the quick chores absolutely needed for the next day (such as making lunch), another ten minutes for hygiene, and ten minutes for meditation (all before starting the eight hours). Some people even dim the lights in their bedroom an hour before sleep to transition from artificial light to darkness.

• Another helper: Make sure your room is cool; the ideal sleep temp seems to be around 67 degrees.

• Add in a power nap. Just make sure to keep it under 30 minutes. Any longer than that, and you’ll slip into a stage of deeper sleep so close to the dreamy REM phase that when awakened from it, you’ll feel hung over and drowsy (that feeling, by the way, is called sleep inertia and is associated with making bad financial judgments and getting into auto accidents). At less than 30 minutes, a nap can be invigorating. Naps enable your body and brain to reboot and are commonly practiced in societies that boast great energy and longevity.

• In terms of sleep supplements, the data aren’t good enough to love these, but some patients like valerian root (though it has an energizing effect in 10 percent of people), passion flower, theanine, hops (ask any college student), and melatonin, 0.5 to 3 mg (especially if you’re jet-lagged or working weird shift hours). Calcium (1,200 mg divided between two doses) and magnesium (400 mg) are also helpful. These can help you get to sleep and wake up refreshed with no hangover (which some sleep drugs cause).

Check Your Plate. You know us when it comes to food. We think it’s nature’s best medicine. These are the dietary tactics that seem to work best for increasing energy:

• Drink as much water as it takes to keep your mouth and lips moist throughout the day, so that your urine is clear enough to read through. If you have chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia and have low blood pressure, you can increase your salt intake (try sea salt, when convenient, for the added minerals) when your body craves it. One hidden cause of fatigue is a little bit of dehydration. It’s something that many people can’t quite identify, so if you’re feeling a little low,a glass of water (and not a bag of M&M’s) may be the jolt you really need.

• Avoid simple sugars — they end in -ose, like glucose, sucrose, maltose, dextrose, etc. (except ribose!) — syrups (another word for sugar), any grain but 100 percent whole grains (since grains turn into simple sugars), and saturated and trans fats.

• Aim to consume high-quality protein such as nuts and fish and a low-carb diet, and include lots of fruits, vegetables, and 100 percent whole grains.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Michael F. Roizen, M.D., is a New York Times bestselling author and cofounder and originator of the very popular RealAge.com website. He is professor and chair of the Division of Anesthesia, Critical Care Medicine, and Pain Management, and chief wellness officer of the Cleveland Clinic. Mehment C. Oz, M.D., is also a New York Times bestselling author and the health expert of The Oprah Winfrey Show. He is professor and vice-chairman of surgery at New York Presbyterian Columbia University and the medical director of the Integrated Medicine Center and the director of the Heart Institute. They are the coauthors of YOU: Being Beautiful: The Owner’s Manual to Inner and Outer Beauty (Copyright © 2006 by Michael F. Roizen, M.D., and Oz Works LLC, f/s/o Mehmet C. Oz, M.D.)

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• 7 Tips for Controlling Your Hunger’s On and Off Switches
• 10 Steps to a Better Love Life
• Get Great Guts: 4 Ways to Slow the Aging Process by Caring for Your Digestive Syste
• Protect Those Baby Blues
• The Truth About Aging: 5 Principles of Longevity
• Your Body as a Rubber Band: A New Way to Think About Dieting

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to YOU: Being Beautiful
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Watch the video: An interview with Dr. Michael F. Roizen and Dr. Mehmet Oz

Let’s be honest here. You will need something concrete to really motivate you when times get hard. There will come a day when you have a big fight with your mother on the phone or your boss is really demanding. Maybe the car won’t start and your kids are screaming. Suddenly the idea of motivation is out the window and all you want is a Snickers bar.

Or you didn’t work out, and suddenly it’s eight o’clock on a cold winter night. You’re exhausted because it has been such a long day. You figure that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if you just skipped one night of exercise. Then you remember that you already skipped another night . . . and another.

How can you keep from derailing your program? You need something that kicks you in the can when times get hard and all you want to say is “&^%$ it!”

Believe me, at some point you will say, “&*^% it, I want that piece of cake.” Or “I’m a little too tired to put on my athletic shoes and move.” It happens to all of us. But before you pick up a fork and dig into fatty, sugary frosting or write off the gym, I have an idea that’s personal kryptonite against program destroyers.

The Power of Projection
I’ve found one of the best motivators is simply projecting your ideal body. It may seem silly, but really, I want you to do the following “before” and “after” exercise. I promise it will keep you mentally motivated during even the toughest and most challenging moments.

Hit the magazines and find a picture of an actress or athlete you dream of looking like after completing this program. Maybe you love Hilary Swank’s strong, sinewy arms. Perhaps your ideal body currently belongs to Halle Berry, Heidi Klum, or our first lady, Michelle Obama. Who it is doesn’t matter one bit. The point is to choose someone who makes you stop each time you see her picture and think, If only . . .

Now take a picture of your face, roughly the size of the face of the woman in the photo, and paste your head on the celebrity’s body. Make several copies of your creation because you will need them. Put one copy smack in the middle of your fridge, and keep another on you at all times, whether in a purse, wallet, or bag.

Keep one on your nightstand and one on your bathroom mirror, and one each in your desk at work and your car. Now when you’re running around and just want to say, “Forget it, I’m going to grab a slice of pizza for lunch,” you can pull out the picture and renew your commitment.

This photo will be your emergency release valve. When you look at it, what you’re really asking yourself is: is this really worth it? Is it really worth it to eat that bag of cookies? Is that dried-out coffee store muffin really worth it? Is that tempting breadbasket worth it? Is it worth it to skip the gym to take a nap? Is it worth it to slog through my cardio burst training giving only half an effort? Half an effort will not result in Hilary Swank–ness. Half an effort won’t Klum your body. You can’t go all Halle Berry on everyone if you make burger your king or dairy your queen.

This mental photo trick is for every time you even think, Screw it. It will help remind you why you started this program in the first place. Now, before you point the car in the direction of the mall instead of where you work out, ask yourself, “Did my goals change? Did I suddenly wake up this morning and think, ‘I don’t really want to look that good anymore’?” If the answer is no, then you will stop yourself and not toss in the towel. Yes, you still want to have the body of Ms. Cameron Diaz, and that photo of your head on her body has your attention.

It’s completely normal to have days when your motivation lags and you really don’t want to exercise or look at another salad. It’s perfectly valid to be tired — no, make that exhausted — after trudging through a day during these stressful times. I too have days where I’d rather go to a spa and eat cake — not necessarily in that order — rather than go outside and do my burst training session (more on that in the exercise chapter). The thing that gets me through the cake day is looking at my motivator photo and cementing the idea (again) of why I want to stick with the program.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JJ Virgin, author of Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy: The 5-Step Plan to Sleek, Strong, and Sculpted Arms (Copyright © 2010 by JJ Virgin & Associates, Inc.), has successfully coached Hollywood elite, rock stars, heavyweight champions, Olympians, and CEOs into shape using her powerful weight loss  program. She is an on-camera nutrition and fitness expert, writer, professional speaker, and radio personality on nationally syndicated shows, including two seasons as the nutrition expert on Dr. Phil.  A board-certified 25-year veteran of the health and fitness industry, she lives in Palm Desert, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• A Fat-Burning Cardio Program You Won’t Hate
• Arms Are the New Accessory
• Is Stress Making Your Arms Chunky and Your Waistline Expand?
• What to Eat to Burn Fat and Lose Weight

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy
• Browse more books about health and fitness

Bursting is the key to your cardio workout on this program. This special type of training will get you fit in just minutes each week. It’s the most effective and efficient way to teach your body to become a fat-burning machine. It’s short but intense intervals of exercise done for just 30 to 60 seconds each. You won’t get the limbs of your dreams just by lifting weights because you “hate cardio.” I promise that you won’t hate it anymore because my cardio bursting takes very little time and the intense portion is over with before you can blink. Think about it this way: don’t you have four hard-core bursts in you? I know that most of you do.

Your mission with bursting is to work hard enough that you can’t go a second longer. Think back to the relay races you did as a kid. You would line up on the playground and then run as hard as you could go to get to the finish line, tag your friend, and then you would have to rest for a minute or two. Your lungs were burning, and your legs couldn’t move one more millimeter. As adults, we seldom have that exhilarating feeling. What makes you feel this way is lactic acid, a by-product created in your body when you use a lot of energy in a short time. When you raise your lactic acid levels, you trigger the release of human growth hormone (HGH). This is said to be “the hormone of youth” because it’s at a high level when you are younger and helps you maintain muscle mass, burn fat, and keep your skin looking dewy and supple.

When you work at high intensity, you also use a lot of carbohydrates for fuel. Now, I know you’re thinking: But wait, I want to burn body fat for fuel! Well, it turns out that when you burn more carbs during exercise, you store them back better after exercise (to give you energy for the next go-round tomorrow) and you burn more fat. After all, you are exercising for a short time each day, but you are living all day long; by exercising hard and burning more carbs during exercise, you teach your body how to burn more fat all day long, which has a much bigger impact on your metabolism and your body composition.

Because bursting is intense, it has a much bigger “metabolic cost” than walking or steady-state aerobic exercise. It creates an oxygen debt, which your body has to pay back after you are done exercising. What this means to your metabolism is that it has to work harder afterward to recover from the intense exercise you did. This doesn’t happen after a daily walk. After all, that is just controlled falling, and your body is acclimated to walking about.

I want you to start by bursting in 30- to 60-second intervals to accumulate four total minutes every other day. You can increase to 8 minutes of total bursting as you increase your stamina. You will follow your burst by recovering for double that time — that is, 1 minute for every 30-second burst. I call this active recovery because you’re still moving but you’re not bursting. For example, you will sprint for 1 minute and then walk for 2 minutes. Or you will run up the stairs for 30 seconds and then walk down easy for a minute. Or jump rope hard for 1 minute and then walk around for 2 minutes. The easy recovery phase helps you buffer the lactic acid so you can go hard again in the next round. You will then be able to accumulate more lactic acid over the session, which will trigger a great growth hormone response. And the fitter you are, the longer that growth hormone stays around.

Don’t use your heart rate as a guide, as by the time your heart rate gets high enough on the monitor, you should be long done! Instead, pay close attention to your exertion level.

Think of it this way: You work out on a scale of 1 to 10. When you burst, you should be in the 9–10 zone of toughness and exertion when you are finished. You should think you couldn’t go another step. Some people might get to this point after 30 seconds, others after 45 or 60 seconds. That’s fine as long as you’re exerting yourself. If you feel you could burst for 90 seconds, you’re not going hard enough. You should never be able to get past 60 seconds, and you should be slightly breathless. If you can talk on your cell phone while you are doing this, you’re not bursting. You’re not bursting on the bike at the gym if you can simultaneously work on a crossword puzzle.

To reiterate: you will never burst longer than 60 seconds. If you can get to 60 seconds and keep going, you need to increase your intensity. The adjustment might happen to you in a matter of days because your progress will be quite amazing and you will be blown away at how quickly you will be able to increase the intensity of your bursting.

As you continue to burst, you will find that other physically exerting challenges, such as running up and down the stairs in your house and racing after your kids, suddenly seem easy. Your energy throughout the day will soar too. Oh, and the scale will also start heading south because you’ll be burning more fat than ever before.

Bursting Cheat Sheet

• Warm up for 3 minutes.

• Burst for 30–60 seconds.

• Recover for 1–2 minutes.

• Repeat to accumulate 4 total minutes of bursting (8 if you are already in great shape and want to take it to the next level).

• Cool down for 3 minutes.

• You’re done. Really, you’re done.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JJ Virgin, author of Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy: The 5-Step Plan to Sleek, Strong, and Sculpted Arms (Copyright © 2010 by JJ Virgin & Associates, Inc.) has successfully coached Hollywood elite, rock stars, heavyweight champions, Olympians, and CEOs into shape using her powerful weight loss  program. She is an on-camera nutrition and fitness expert, writer, professional speaker, and radio personality on nationally syndicated shows, including two seasons as the nutrition expert on Dr. Phil.  A board-certified 25-year veteran of the health and fitness industry, she lives in Palm Desert, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Arms Are the New Accessory
• How to Stay Committed to Your Exercise and Weight Loss Goals
• Is Stress Making Your Arms Chunky and Your Waistline Expand?
• What to Eat to Burn Fat and Lose Weight

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy
• Browse more books about health and fitness

Do you feel as though you’re always fighting through stressful moments that only lead to further on-the-edge situations? Your body is feeling the harried state and responds by breaking down muscle (mobilizing energy) and dumping it into the bloodstream as sugar. Wonder why so many Americans have a high fasting blood sugar level? When your body does this, it follows by raising your fat-storing hormone, insulin, to move the blood sugar into your cells. At this point, you will experience low blood sugar and will want some refined carbs and/or sugar to get your energy level up again (at least for a little while).

Stress can lead to both insulin and leptin resistance. Leptin is a hormone that is key in appetite regulation. If you become resistant to it due to stress, your body fat may increase because the leptin won’t reduce your appetite and you will be hungry all of the time and probably gravitate to the kitchen. All the stress hormones are packing on the pounds, especially around the waistline, while making it harder to burn off the fat that’s already there.

Finally, chronic stress can lower the production of other hormones, including testosterone and DHEA, that help burn fat, build muscle, and promote a healthy sex drive. In order for the body to keep pushing out cortisol to keep up with the stress demands, it steals it away from the other hormones. Stress can also impact your ability to create active thyroid hormone, which is one of the master controllers of your metabolism.

Chronic stress can lead to fatigue, PMS, anxiety, depression, obesity, and immune dysfunction. If you continue to live under chronic stress, eventually you will just burn out and feel exhausted all of the time even when you finally get some rest. This is your body’s later-stage reaction to stress, which is to conserve energy and go into “famine physiology.” This is when it feels as if nothing you do to lose weight or build muscle seems to work. And if you do overexercise and cut your calorie intake drastically, you can actually make yourself worse.

Here’s why. Let’s say you go on a diet by cutting calories and plan to lose weight. Your body instantly blocks you because it believes the calorie cutting is just another stressful event that it must cope with in order to survive. What to do? Why not slow down your metabolism? Unfortunately, at the same time, your body lowers your immune system and accelerates the aging process.

I don’t mean to stress you out further; I simply want you to recognize that you must work on getting all the unnecessary stresses out of your life — and you need to start right now.

Is Stress Making Your Arms Fat?
Answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions. Count your “no” answers after you complete Part A. Count your “yes” answers after completing Part B.

Part A: Stress Relievers

• Do you have a close support network of family and friends?

• Do you have a spiritual foundation from which you draw strength and faith?

• Do you feel that you have control over your life and its direction?

• Are you happy in your career or job?

• Do you do burst-style exercise regularly three times per week?

• Do you eat three meals per day at least six days of the week?

• Do you take downtime each day to experience your own personal bliss?

• Are you comfortable financially?

• Do you keep your weight within your ideal weight range and body fat composition?

• Do you regularly get seven to nine hours of quality sleep per night?

Total number of “no” answers is _______.

Part B: Stress Provokers and Indicators

• Do you regularly consume caffeine, alcohol, and/or sugar and refined carbohydrates?

• Do you frequently feel fearful and/or that things are beyond your control?

• Do you struggle to remember things?

• Do you suffer from allergies, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, asthma, or headaches?

• Do you suffer from digestive problems, including heartburn, gas, bloating, diarrhea, or constipation?

• Do you engage in endurance training (cardio exercise for forty- five-plus minutes a day, three or more times a week)?

• Does it take you thirty minutes or longer to fall asleep at night?

• Do you have difficulty sleeping through the night?

• Are you sensitive to smells?

• Have you lost interest in sex?

• Are you more tired after you work out?

• Are you impatient or easily irritated?

• Have you experienced any major life stressor (positive or negative) in the past year (i.e., death of a loved one, major illness, divorce, marriage, birth of a child, move, change of job, financial change)?

• Do you need caffeine to wake you up in the morning or help you make it through the day?

• Do you get sick three or more times a year?

• Do you crave carbohydrates or sugary foods? Do you crave salty foods?

Total number of “yes” answers is _______.

Grand total: _______

If you scored three or more in either part or four or more overall, you need to address your stress! Ideally, no matter what you scored, you will want to rectify any “no” answers in Part A and “yes” answers in Part B. Of course, you can tackle only what’s possible to change, but you can focus on short- and long-term strategies to correct those stressful life areas because now you know they’re a big detriment to your health and metabolism.

Just remember one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Hans Selye: “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”

You should also be aware that there is good stress, such as when we fall in love, get married, retire, have a baby, buy a house, or get promoted. Then there is bad stress, such as when a spouse dies, we have a bad fight with a significant other, we get divorced, we lose our job, we change occupation, or we have a serious illness. When you’re forced to navigate times of bad stress, pay close attention to taking better care of yourself and practicing distressing techniques. Remember, a large part of stress is your perception of it and reaction to it. Ensure that you are adequately armed with the tactics from Part A to help you cope better.

Are These Poor Lifestyle Habits Stressing You Out?
Here are some activities that are very stressful on the body that you can fix quickly to lower your stress:

• Excessive intake of caffeine (more than one to two servings daily)

• Excessive intake of alcohol (more than one serving daily)

• A very-low-carb diet

• Skipping meals

• Sugar

• Nicotine

• Endurance training

• Sleep deprivation

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JJ Virgin, author of Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy: The 5-Step Plan to Sleek, Strong, and Sculpted Arms (Copyright © 2010 by JJ Virgin & Associates, Inc.), has successfully coached Hollywood elite, rock stars, heavyweight champions, Olympians, and CEOs into shape using her powerful weight loss  program. She is an on-camera nutrition and fitness expert, writer, professional speaker, and radio personality on nationally syndicated shows, including two seasons as the nutrition expert on Dr. Phil.  A board-certified 25-year veteran of the health and fitness industry, she lives in Palm Desert, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• A Fat-Burning Cardio Program You Won’t Hate
• Arms Are the New Accessory
• How to Stay Committed to Your Exercise and Weight Loss Goals
• What to Eat to Burn Fat and Lose Weight

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy
• Browse more books about health and fitness

This is one of the easiest eating plans in the world because you will eat within an hour of waking up, you will eat three meals a day every four to six hours, and you will stop eating three hours before bed. There will be one optional snack if you have to go for a longer period between your meals. You will eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with this one caveat: You don’t have to eat breakfast foods for breakfast.

You will also eat what I call healthy and clean meals. This means every meal will include a lean protein, one serving of a high-fiber carb, loads of nonstarchy veggies, and some healthful fat. I’ll explain them in detail in just a minute.

Here’s a quick overview: protein is what we need to help us build muscle and will be eaten at every single meal because it’s critical to your success. It slows down stomach emptying, which means that it keeps the hunger-triggering hormone ghrelin, which is produced by your stomach when it is empty, at bay. The right types of fat are some of the most therapeutic things you can add to your plate, as they support good brain function and mood, help with bone remodeling, and can reduce inflammation. When fat enters your small intestine, it also triggers the release of cholecystokinin (CCK), which tells your body that you are full, thus flipping off your appetite switch.

Finally, the right high-fiber carbs and nonstarchy veggies give your brain the energy you need to make it through the day. The fiber in these two groups also helps slow down stomach emptying, keeping you feeling fuller longer. As an added bonus, the fiber will give you poops you can be proud of. Yes, I just said that in my book because it’s important that your body function in all the right (and regular — pun intended) ways. Plus, when you eat from the rainbow of fruits and veggies, you will get a plethora of great phytonutrients (plant nutrients) that can benefit you in a variety of ways, including giving you more energy, clearer skin, and less pain and inflammation. If you’re on one of those stressful no-carb diets, a new day is about to dawn for you and you will love the sudden zap in your daily mojo because those no-carb plans leave people cranky, tired, and listless.

Again, the concept is that food provides information to your body. It dictates whether you store fat and burn sugar or burn fat and build muscle. You don’t want to be a sugar burner, because then you won’t reach your goals when it comes to your arms or any other part of your body.

By the way, I won’t be asking you to whip up gourmet meals because, frankly, who has the time? And most of us aren’t ready to go all Martha Stewart on a daily basis. These meals are simple, fast choices that do the trick.

A few general guidelines when choosing your meals:

• Eat 4 to 6 ounces of protein at each meal. That’s approximately .75 to 1 gram per pound of fat-free mass. You can approximate this with the following formula:
  • Men, multiply your weight in pounds by 0.8 (0.85 if you are fit)
  • Women, multiply your weight in pounds by 0.7 (0.8 if you are fit).

This will give you the total number of grams you should eat in a day. Divide this number by three to get the amount in each meal.

• Eat two or more servings of nonstarchy vegetables at each meal — the more, the better. A serving is 1 cup raw or 1/2 cup cooked; increase the number of servings to increase weight loss. Note that the minimum number of servings per day of these is five; your goal is ten!

• Eat one to three servings of fat at each meal. A serving is approximately 1 tablespoon of nut butter or oil, 10 small nuts, 1/3 of an avocado, 1/4 cup of light coconut milk, 3 to 4 ounces of fish. Stick with two servings for accelerated fat loss.

• Eat one to two servings of high-fiber starchy carbs or fruits at each meal. A serving is 1 slice of bread, 1/2 cup of cooked grains, 1/3 cup of beans, 1/2 medium yam or sweet potato, 1/2 cup of winter squash, 1 apple, 1 cup of berries, or a sliced tomato. Stick with one serving per meal for accelerated fat loss, and if you want to skip your dinner serving, increase your intake of nonstarchy vegetables by at least two additional servings. Make sure to have at least one serving at breakfast and lunch so your brain is well fueled throughout the day!

• Don’t forget to drink 8 to 12 glasses of water a day between meals. Drink only 4 to 8 ounces of water with meals because you don’t want to dilute your stomach acid and impair your digestion.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JJ Virgin, author of Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy: The 5-Step Plan to Sleek, Strong, and Sculpted Arms (Copyright © 2010 by JJ Virgin & Associates, Inc.), has successfully coached Hollywood elite, rock stars, heavyweight champions, Olympians, and CEOs into shape using her powerful weight loss  program. She is an on-camera nutrition and fitness expert, writer, professional speaker, and radio personality on nationally syndicated shows, including two seasons as the nutrition expert on Dr. Phil.  A board-certified 25-year veteran of the health and fitness industry, she lives in Palm Desert, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• A Fat-Burning Cardio Program You Won’t Hate
• Arms Are the New Accessory
• How to Stay Committed to Your Exercise and Weight Loss Goals
• Is Stress Making Your Arms Chunky and Your Waistline Expand?

LEARN MORE

• For more on JJ Virgin’s fat-burning eating plan, including recipes and menus, pick up a copy of her book Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy
• Read Chapter 1 of Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy
• Browse more books about health and fitness

My grandmother was a thin woman, but she had an odd situation going on up top: her arm fat draped down like two veils. I remember playfully flapping her arm veils around, and they would swing to and fro. Of course, she didn’t really mind because she was a granny and strappy tank tops weren’t exactly on her list of must-have fashion items.

When I first worked as a personal trainer some twenty-five years ago, women didn’t even use hand weights. I had to sneak them in during aerobics classes. I would also have them do pushups and they would protest, “That’s a guy’s exercise. I’m going to bulk up and look like a football player.” (Absolutely untrue, but more on that later.) I would even take some of my clients to Gold’s Gym in Venice, California, and they would shriek, “I don’t want to look like those he-man body builders!” These were women who weighed 140 pounds. There was no chance of their bulking up unless they started doing mass doses of steroids.

Now women understand exercise a bit better, and they want that lean, firm, muscular look. They also know that they need muscles because that sort of toning is sexy and holds everything in tighter. Just look at any of the major female stars of our day, including Halle Berry, Kelly Ripa, Angela Bassett, Jennifer Lopez, and Blake Lively. Their arms are for public consumption in those gorgeous designer gowns.

Muscles are also a metaphor for something larger: empowerment. Arms represent strength. They’re symbolic of not being the little waify woman who needs a man to lift and carry for her. If you have muscles, you’re not weak. Arms say you can handle things. (And what if there’s a fire and you need to lower yourself out of a window — could you do it?) It turns out that strong arms are also practical and functional. Who knew?

This brings me to a question I’m asked over and over again:

“JJ, how did my arms get so bad?” Well, as with any slippery slope, you slide down bit by bit over time. Suddenly, you’re sort of used to that fat on your arms and you just put a few more layers of clothing over them. As you get older and a little heavier (each year), it seems as though the fat just pours into your arms. Most women don’t just gain five pounds a year; they may gain ten pounds of fat and lose five pounds of muscle. Your muscles are your metabolic girdle and hold everything in tighter so that you have shape.

Muscles keep your metabolism up all day long. When it comes to your muscles, if you don’t use them, you lose them.

In a nutshell, that’s why your arms are getting worse and worse.

Women do want to get in shape. In fact, they spend a good chunk of change talking to trainers and trying chemically based diet “foods.” There are many $75-an-hour trainers who tell their female clients that the way to get their entire body in shape is with a daily hourlong power walk. They promise that simply swinging your arms while walking will tone them up.

Tune out that advice.

A steady power walk is simply controlled falling and really doesn’t burn much fat or develop muscle. What I advocate is walking for two minutes and then performing a minute all-out “burst” in which you go as fast as you possibly can. When you burst and recover, your body becomes involved in a major metabolic workout that raises your lactic acid levels. The lactic acid “burn” signals that you are raising your growth hormone levels. Now you’re burning more fat, building muscle, and staying young.

Women don’t burn fat naturally; we’re fat storers in order to have and feed our babies. Arms are a common place to store fat. In order to get rid of that fat, you will have to do burst exercise, eat right, and work on the science that will help you achieve results.

One interesting side note is that women aren’t described as “apples” and “pears” anymore when it comes to body shapes. Between our stressful lifestyles and our steady diet of refined carbohydrates and artificial foods, most of us have screwed up our metabolisms to the point where we store fat and gain weight like a man. This means we now carry our fat in our stomachs and our arms.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JJ Virgin, author of Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy: The 5-Step Plan to Sleek, Strong, and Sculpted Arms (Copyright © 2010 by JJ Virgin & Associates, Inc.), has successfully coached Hollywood elite, rock stars, heavyweight champions, Olympians, and CEOs into shape using her powerful weight loss  program. She is an on-camera nutrition and fitness expert, writer, professional speaker, and radio personality on nationally syndicated shows, including two seasons as the nutrition expert on Dr. Phil.  A board-certified 25-year veteran of the health and fitness industry, she lives in Palm Desert, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• A Fat-Burning Cardio Program You Won’t Hate
• Arms Are the New Accessory
• How to Stay Committed to Your Exercise and Weight Loss Goals
• Is Stress Making Your Arms Chunky and Your Waistline Expand?
• What to Eat to Burn Fat and Lose Weight

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Six Weeks to Sleeveless and Sexy
• Browse more books about health and fitness

Food #1: Sardines
Full of satiating protein and heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids, sardines are low on the food chain and thus less apt to contain heavy metals than their larger kin. Sardines packed in olive oil are tastier than the water-packed kind. The protein and fat work in tandem to fill you up and minimize blood sugar swings, making it easier to stick with your weight loss program.

Food #2: Extra-Virgin Olive Oil
Olive oil is high in monounsaturated fatty acids (MUFAs), which lower LDL (“bad”) cholesterol, raise HDL (“good”) cholesterol and, according to research published in Diabetes Care in 2007, help shrink belly fat — the kind linked to heart disease and type 2 diabetes. Extra-virgin oil is made from the first pressing of the olives. Look for cold pressed oil — it hasn’t been subjected to nutrient-destroying heat.

Food #3: Avocado
This fruit that acts like a vegetable is another source of tummy-reducing MUFAs, as well as oleic acid (which has been shown to lower cholesterol), folate, and vitamin E. Select blackish-green, pebbly-skin Haas avocadoes, which are higher in fat and lower in carbs than the smooth, bright green Florida avocadoes. Have half an avocado as a snack, add chunks to a tossed salad, or take a few minutes to make guacamole.

Food #4: Almonds
Almonds (and most other nuts) combine protein, healthy fats, and fiber — a perfect recipe for satiety, so you’re less apt to experience cravings. Eating almonds has also been shown to lower your cholesterol and risk of heart disease. According to a 2003 study in the International Journal of Obesity, overweight people who ate almonds lost more weight than those consuming the same number of calories but no nuts (and therefore less fat). Aim for up to two 1-ounce snacks a day.

Food #5: Blueberries
Another member of the tummy-fat banishing club — even as part of a high-fat diet — is the blueberry, according to a recent study on rats at the University of Michigan. More research is required to confirm these results in humans, and Oklahoma State University is recruiting subjects for a study that will look at the effects of consuming blueberries on abdominal fat as well as other disease risk factors. Blueberries have long been known as a superior source of antioxidants.

Food # 6: Broccoli
This member of the cabbage family, which is known for containing micronutrients that squelch cancer-causing agents, has lots more going for it: Packed with fiber, broccoli is filling, which naturally helps with weight control, it’s low in carbs and calories, and it’s full of vitamins C and A, calcium, potassium, and folic acid. Enjoy it raw or cooked.

Food #7: Red Bell Peppers
The sweet red bell pepper leaves its unripe green brothers in the dust. A red pepper contains eight times as much vitamin A, almost three times as much vitamin C, and almost four times as many carotenoids — including lycopene, which helps prevent prostate cancer — as a green pepper. Hot and sweet peppers alike contain substances that increase your body’s heat production after consumption, meaning you burn extra calories.

These seven superfoods are just the tip of the nutrition iceberg. Enjoy a wide variety of whole foods and you’ll reap the benefits in overall good health and weight control.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Dr. Eric C. Westman is an associate professor of medicine at the Duke University Health System, and director of the Duke Lifestyle Medicine Clinic. Dr. Jeff S. Volek is an associate professor and exercise and nutrition researcher in the Department of Kinesiology at the University of Connecticut. They are the coauthors of  The New Atkins for a New You: The Ultimate Diet for Shedding Weight and Feeling Great (Copyright © 2010 Atkins Nutritionals Inc.), a New York Times® Bestseller.

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The New Atkins for a New You: The Ultimate Diet for Shedding Weight and Feeling Great
• Browse more books about the Atkins Diet

Since people with AD often have good days and bad days, as you are working through this assessment, you may want to evaluate your loved one every day over a week or ten days for each Best Question, rather than just perform a one-time assessment. This will give you a clearer picture of your loved one’s true functional capabilities and ability to remain at home.

THE 10 BEST QUESTIONS to Decide if Your Loved One Can Remain at Home

1. How well can my loved one handle his own personal hygiene, bathing, and dressing?
The ability to dress and groom oneself independently is a prime factor when considering keeping your loved one in his home. If the person with AD has a full-time caregiver who lives in the same home, independence in hygiene, bathing, and dressing is of less concern than for people with AD who are living alone or have only part-time assistance.

Ask yourself if your loved one:

• Routinely performs all daily bathing, dressing, and shaving activities without assistance? (Needs no/some assistance)
• Requires reminders about daily hygiene, help with shoelaces, zippers, hooks, etc.? (Needs no/some assistance)
• Depends on others for most or all personal hygiene, bathing, and dressing activities? (Unable to do)

2. How capable is my loved one of eating, choosing nutritious food, and preparing meals independently?
The ability to eat without assistance is a key activity of daily life. If your loved one is living alone or has only part-time care giving, she needs a higher degree of independence than someone who can depend on others for eating assistance or meal preparation.

The ability to prepare nutritious meals for oneself is also important, but to a lesser extent when community support services are available. These include Meals on Wheels (http://www.mowaa.org), a senior nutrition program operating in the United States, Canada, and Australia, or the UK-based National Association of Care Catering (http://www.thenacc.co.uk). Check out Volunteers of America (http://www.volunteersofamerica.org) or local services available through your church or synagogue.

For AD caregivers, mealtimes can be a challenging battleground. Your loved one may have a poor appetite, forget to eat, or forget that she has already eaten. Try to establish and stick with regular mealtimes, limit distractions, check the food’s temperature, and serve simple foods one at a time.

Consider whether the person with AD can shop independently or needs to be accompanied on routine grocery errands. Some people lose their understanding of money, while others may be too frail to carry packages. In some regions there are shopping services or stores that will deliver groceries to your home.

Does my loved one:

• Plan, prepare, and eat adequately nutritious meals without assistance?
• Rely on meals prepared by others or require assistance when eating (opening containers, pouring, cutting, etc.)?
• Need total assistance from others for nourishment or reminders to eat?

3. How independent is my loved one with his toilet needs and continence?
The National Association for Continence defines incontinence as the involuntary loss of bladder or bowel control. This is a common problem among Alzheimer’s patients with progressed-disease symptoms and a key decision criterion for many caregivers about whether or not they can continue to care for their loved one at home. A person’s degree of incontinence can also determine eligibility for adult day care centers, professional in?home care arrangements, or assisted living facilities.

Does my loved one:

• Demonstrate complete and independent continence on a daily basis?
• Have occasional incontinence, a colostomy, or catheter, but can still manage with self-toileting or require only occasional assistance?
• Have daily, uncontrollable incontinence and lack the ability to communicate about it?

4. How mobile is my loved one around the house?
In the language of a formal ADL functional assessment, mobility is often called transferring. Transferring means the person’s ability to move around inside the home, including such basic tasks as moving unassisted from the bed to a chair or to use the bathroom.

Consider if your loved one needs (or will soon need) a wheelchair, cane, or walker. Your home’s long stairways or narrow doorways may not be well suited or easy to retrofit to accommodate someone who is physically disabled.

Does my loved one:

• Move independently from a chair, toilet, or bed?
• Rely on a cane, walker, or wheelchair or require some assistance due to occasional confusion or physical disability?
• Require full transfer assistance, including turning in bed and moving to and from a wheelchair?

5. Can my loved one do housekeeping and personal laundry chores?
Some experts believe this is an optional IADL for a person who has a full-time caregiver or can afford to pay someone else to perform cleaning and laundry tasks. Historically, this IADL was excluded for men.

However, if your loved one lives alone — and especially if she lives in an older house that needs regular maintenance and up- keep — this can be a major concern. For example, you may be a long-distance caregiver who worries constantly about your parents’ home falling into a state of disrepair beyond routine care.

Does my loved one:

• Maintain the house alone to an acceptable level of cleanliness and repair with occasional outside help for gardening, painting, etc.?
• Do light daily/weekly tasks such as dishwashing, most personal laundry, straightening, and bed making at an acceptable level of cleanliness but not do heavy cleaning or maintenance?
• Need all home maintenance tasks, light housekeeping, and personal laundry to be done by others?

6. Can my loved one be fully trusted to always take her medications as prescribed?
It’s important that your loved one can remember to take any drugs for Alzheimer’s disease as well as medications for other conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, or glaucoma. For many elderly people, their daily regime involves a complex dispensing schedule and a full handful of pills.

Even well-intended people with AD who are starting to slip mentally can’t remember if they have already taken today’s pills or not. As the caregiver, you need to ensure your loved one is getting proper medications and won’t be harmed by incorrect dosing. People with AD and living alone are at high risk for medication problems.

Does my loved one:

• Take her correct medications in the correct dosages at the correct times every day?
• Show responsibility for self-medication if the drugs are prepacked or prepared in advance in separate dosages or make only minor or occasional dosing errors?
• Become routinely confused or prove to be incapable of self-medication?

7. How well can my loved one handle personal finances?
If your loved one lives alone, pays others for in-home care services, or still maintains the household budget and bill-paying duties, it’s imperative that he be able to manage money well and without mental impairment. The gradual loss of “money smarts” is what often leads to the headline-grabbing stories of elderly people having their lifetime savings stolen by a con artist or through a telephone, television, or Internet scam.

Evelyn, a full-time caregiver in Little Rock, Arkansas, reflects on her experiences during the last three years caring for her middle-stage AD husband, Robert. “I’ve tried to walk a fine line between giving him as much independence as I could but have always been on the lookout, too. Robert thinks he’s fine, but often he’s not. It’s just hard for him to realize he can’t do these things anymore.”

When the person with AD has a full-time caregiver who is totally responsible for the household money management, then this IADL becomes less important.

Does my loved one:

• Manage financial matters independently (can write checks, pay bills, go to the bank, and balance the checkbook)?
• Keep track of day-to-day purchases but need some help with banking and major purchases?
• Become totally confused about finances and is incapable of handling money?

8. How capable is my loved one of using some form of transportation for short trips, to go shopping, or to run errands?
This measure of independence is called mode of transportation. People with early stage AD may still be able to get around fairly well, including driving. Once someone with AD can no longer drive, public transportation may be a viable option, depending on where he lives and his past familiarity with the bus, train, or taxi system.

If your loved one travels around town, you may find some peace of mind if he is wearing a medical alert identification. There are also local and national transportation services for the elderly that can suggest alternative methods of transportation. Check with your local Alzheimer’s Association or Beverly Foundation (www.beverlyfoundation.org) for community-based transportation services.

Does my loved one:

• Travel independently on public transportation or safely drive his own car?
• No longer drive but can arrange his own travel via public transportation or taxi?
• Have little or no ability to travel without assistance from others due to mental confusion or physical problems?

9. How mentally aware was my loved in the last few weeks?
This Best Question is a general-assessment question for live-at-home caregivers or for long-distance caregivers who have recently talked with their loved one by telephone.

If you are a long-distance caregiver, reflect on how well your loved one uses the telephone as an indicator of mental alertness. If your loved one can operate the phone, including looking up phone numbers and dialing, this is a positive sign of alertness compared to someone who answers the phone, but can’t dial it or becomes totally confused while on the phone.

Does my loved one:

• Show the ability to reason and remember with only occasional memory lapses?
• Require some assistance during increasing periods of confusion, disorientation, or poor judgment?
• Demonstrate severely impaired orientation, memory, and judgment skills or is unable to follow directions?

10. How well could my loved one respond to an emergency that required quick action or evacuation of the home?
Many caregivers focus on just getting through another day without thinking about worst-case scenarios, like a home fire or explosion or natural disaster such as floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, or severe snowstorms. Just consider the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina on the unprepared elderly people living in New Orleans who were caught in this deadly disaster.

If your loved one is not fully mobile, uses a wheelchair or walker, or is especially frail or heavyset, you need to think in advance about whether you have the physical strength to carry him out of your home in case of emergency. This is especially critical if you live in a region that is prone to seasons of hurricanes, floods, or tornadoes. If your loved one lives alone or you are a long-distance caregiver, ask yourself, What would happen to her in an emergency? Who could help her?

Does my loved one:

• Understand and is capable of the proper evacuation procedures in case of emergency?
• Rely on a cane, walker, or wheelchair and would need assistance during an emergency?
• Have such severely impaired judgment that he would be totally dependent during an emergency?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dede Bonner, Ph.D., aka “The Question Doctor” and author of The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s (Copyright © 2008 by 10 Best Questions LLC), specializes in creative breakthrough and money-saving Best Questions for corporate clients and CEOs. She is on the graduate business faculty of Curtin University in Perth, Western Australia, and is an internationally acclaimed expert in questioning skills and management. A former political analyst for the federal government, Dr. Bonner is the owner of New Century Management, Inc, and 10 Best Questions, LLC. She has a doctorate of education in executive leadership.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 10 Best Questions to Ask to Find a Top Alzheimer’s Specialist
• 10 Questions to Ask if Your Spouse Has Been Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease
• How Do I Find Help for My Parent With Alzheimer’s Disease?: The 10 Most Important Questions to Ask
• How to Spot a Bad Nursing Home: The 10 Questions You Should Ask
• How to Talk About Your Fibromyalgia Diagnosis With Those You Love

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Browse more books by Dede Bonner, Ph.D., “The Question Doctor”

When a woman with young children is diagnosed with breast cancer, she faces a delicate balancing act. How do you talk to your children honestly without scaring them too much? Psychologist Sandy Finestone, a twenty-year survivor and coordinator of cancer-patient services at Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian in Newport Beach, California, recommends the following:

• Talk to children at their comprehension level and be honest. “The bad thing is to keep them out of the loop,” she said. “Tell them my treatment is going to take this amount of time; I may be tired. If my hair falls out, it is good because that means the chemicals are working.”
• Get them involved in positive events, like the Race for the Cure.
• Demystify cancer. “I’ve had children draw on their mother’s head,” Finestone said.
• Look for good resources, and get children in touch with other kids who understand. Finestone recommends Kids Konnected, an online community for children whose parents are battling any type of cancer (www.kidskonnected.org). There are also books and other links recommended on the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation Web site (www.komen.org)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Janet Thompson, author of Dear God They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey (Copyright © 2006 by Janet Thompson), quit her secular career to go into full-time lay ministry, starting the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. She is the founder and director of About His Work Ministries, also known as AHW Ministries, and is a frequent speaker on topics relevant to today’s Christian women. Janet has authored several products for her Woman to Woman ministry, including Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. Janet and her husband, Dave, have four married children and nine grandchildren. They make their home in Lake Forest, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Adjusting to a New Normal When You Have Cancer
• The Top 13 Things to Do or Say and Not to Say or Do to Someone with Breast Cancer
• What Breast Cancer Patients Should Know About Prosthesis

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey
• See the book’s Table of Contents

BEFORE YOU GET STARTED
Get a head start on summer! Plant seeds in an egg carton to which you have added a small amount of soil — don’t pack it too hard, and don’t let it spill out over the sides. Keep the soil moist, taking care not to overwater. When you’ve seen the last frost, it’s time to pop the seedlings out of the egg container and plant them in the ground. Still impatient? Speed up germination by laying a piece of plastic wrap over the seedlings to keep them moist and warm. Leave the plastic in place until the plants start to poke their heads through the soil.

• Try latex gloves in the garden instead of cloth. They’re easier to clean — you can just rinse them under the hose and let them air-dry — and they don’t stiffen up like canvas gloves do.

• Tie a used fabric softener sheet around your belt to keep mosquitoes away while you garden.

• For a moisturizing treat while gardening, rub your hands with cream or petroleum jelly before donning your gloves.

• Don’t like to wear gloves? Scraping your fingernails over a bar of soap before you get started will prevent dirt from penetrating under your nails and will protect them from breaking.

• Use a little wagon to haul your supplies around the garden. Check garage sales for good deals.

• Carry a quart spray bottle filled with water and a squirt of liquid dish soap. If you see bugs attacking your flowers, just give them a squirt and they’ll vamoose!

• Need a kneeling pad? Take a 2- or 3-inch piece of foam, wrap it in plastic or put it in a large re-sealable bag and you’re all ready to go.

FERTILIZERS

• Crushed eggshells worked well into the soil make a wonderful fertilizer. Terrific for gardens and houseplants, they aerate the soil, too.

• Bury some used coffee grounds in your garden to provide much-needed acid to the soil that has a high alkaline content. You’ll notice much greener greens!

• Fish tank water is loaded with nutrients. Use it for gardens and houseplants.

• Plants love starch, so save the water each time you boil noodles or other pasta. Just make sure to let the water cool down first.

• Dampened newspapers placed on the ground around plants will help keep the soil moist and hold weeds at bay. Wet the newspapers well — you need the weight of the water to hold them down — then sprinkle lightly with soil. The papers are biodegradable, so they will eventually dissolve.

PEST CONTROL

• Keep pests such as aphids, mites, and whiteflies off roses, geraniums, hibiscus, and other plants by spraying them with a combination of 1 quart of water and 1/2 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Reapply the solution every two weeks.

• Planting garlic, parsley, or basil among your flowers will deter bugs. Marigolds also work well. Just plant them as an edging around the garden.

• Dissolve 1 to 1 1/2 teaspoons of baking soda in 1 quart of water to kill bugs on flowering plants. Spray every 7 to 10 days.

• Powdered milk can kill aphids on roses. Mix 1/3 cup of powdered milk in one quart of warm water, and spray. The aphids will get stuck in the milk and die. Hose the roses down occasionally and re-apply as needed.

• Here’s a great natural way to control black spots on roses. Add 1 tablespoon each of baking soda and vegetable oil to 1 gallon of water. Then add 1 drop of liquid detergent and shake well. Spray directly on the foliage, and spray every 5 to 7 days during humid weather. Make sure to wet both sides of the leaves.

• Chase away pests that feed on your tender plants by mixing 1 tablespoon of hot mustard or red pepper with 1 quart of water. Spray directly on foliage. One hot taste and the pests will be gone!

WHO KNEW?

• Old panty hose make great ties for plants and tomatoes. They’re strong and flexible, but soft enough so that they won’t cut into the plant.

• Cutting roses and trimming bushes can be a prickly job, but if you grip thorny stems with barbecue tongs or clothespins… no more pierced fingers!

• Tuck a bar of soap inside a mesh bag and tie it around the outside faucet. After gardening cleanups will be a breeze.

• Hands that are very dirty can be cleaned with a thick paste of oatmeal and water. Rub well into hands before rinsing and washing as usual.

• Kill weeds with a natural toddy of 1 ounce of white vinegar, 1 ounce of inexpensive gin, and 8 ounces of water. Pour on the weeds and say good-bye.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Linda Cobb, author of A Queen for All Seasons: A Year of Tips, Tricks, and Picks for a Cleaner House and a More Organized Life! (Copyright © 2001 by Linda Cobb), first shared her cleaning tips with readers in a weekly newspaper column in Michigan, where she owned a cleaning and disaster-restoration business dealing with the aftermath of fires and floods. After moving to Phoenix, she appeared weekly as a guest on Good Morning Arizona; since then she has shared her housekeeping tips on radio and television shows across the country, and in two New York Times bestsellers, Talking Dirty with the Queen of Clean and Talking Dirty Laundry with the Queen of Clean.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 15 Ways to Save Energy — and Other Tips for Green Living
• Make Your Own Laundry Spot and Stain Removers

LEARN MORE

• Read an excerpt from Talking Dirty with the Queen of Clean
• Read an excerpt from The Queen of Clean Conquers Clutter
• Browse more books by Linda Cobb, the Queen of Clean

Have you ever been unemployed? Have you ever lived with someone who was unemployed? What happens? What changes? Most people suffer from an acute blow to their self-esteem, which produces depression in one form or another. A classic symptom of this depression is that when they don’t have to get out of bed — they don’t. Often when people lose their job, they tend to slip into the habit of sleeping in. After a while, they shave only every second day, then every third day. When they do get out of bed, they go down to the local store to get the newspaper and look for available positions. But by the time they call about the jobs, it is early afternoon — maybe late afternoon — and the positions are already filled. Before you know it, they shave only when they have a job interview, which is almost never, because they don’t get out of bed early enough to make the calls in time.

They fall into a rhythm of life, a certain rhythm that grabs hold of them and takes them for a ride. We call that ride “a vicious cycle.” Where does it take them? Nowhere.

This rhythm of life does not energize them or bring out the best in them; rather, it drains them of their energy and prevents them from achieving anything worthwhile. This rhythm of life that has kidnapped them does not support the fulfillment of their legitimate needs physically, emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually. This rhythm of life they have adopted is self-destructive.

That vicious cycle exists in one way or another in the lives of each and every one of us. We get caught up in certain patterns of behavior that are self-destructive, a rhythm of life that does not attend to our legitimate needs, a lifestyle that does not enrich and fulfill us.

Is your lifestyle destroying you?

How do we escape these vicious cycles? Little by little. Small victories are the key. If you decide to become a marathon runner, you don’t go out and try to run a marathon straightaway. You start by running one mile a day, then two, three, five, and seven. Over time you build yourself up, and as you strengthen and develop, you extend the distances. Many victories are won before a marathon runner’s first race.

Can you do one hundred sit-ups? If you are not in the habit of doing sit-ups regularly, you probably think it is impossible to do one hundred sit-ups consecutively right now. But if you start today by doing twenty each day for a week, then thirty a day for a week, and so on, before too long you will be able to do a hundred sit ups — and the impossible will have been made possible. That is the greatness of the human spirit — making the unknown known, making the impossible possible. Small victories, one upon another, are the making of every great champion.

These small victories build strength and confidence. The victory over twenty sit-ups builds strength, courage, and confidence to achieve the victory of doing thirty sit-ups the following week. If, on the other hand, you tried to do one hundred sit-ups every day, the first day you might stop after eighteen, the second day after twenty-one, the third day after twenty-five, the fourth day after twenty-six. After a week, most people would become so discouraged from failing over and over again, they would quit.

Set goals that stretch you but do not break you.

In the way that these small victories build strength, confidence, and courage in athletes, they can do the same for us in every area of our lives, whether in our professional work, our relationships, or our spiritual practices.

A large part of success in anything is victory. Success is mostly about victory over ourselves. The habitual and repetitious achievement of such victories produces the quality of self-discipline in a person’s character. This self-discipline is the founding ideal of all great nations and religions in history. It is the founding father of freedom and the foundation of the nation, culture, and dream we call America.

If you give your body a choice, it will always take the easy way out. Your body lies. It tells you it cannot when it can.

How did Michael Johnson become the fastest man in the world? By running when he felt like running? No. Michael Johnson tells his body what it is and is not allowed to feel and when it is and is not allowed to feel those things. His success comes from his mastery of his body. His higher faculties — intellect, will, spirit — reign over his lower faculties — bodily instincts. Each time his body says, “I can’t,” he pushes it a little further. The body has a natural capacity to increase its strength and abilities. The heart, mind, and spirit are all equipped with the same natural capacity.

Do Andre Agassi and Serena Williams hit tennis balls only when they feel like it? Did Bill Gates achieve what he has by sleeping in until one o’clock in the afternoon? Does Emmitt Smith show up to practice only when he is in the mood for it? Did Abraham Lincoln do only the things he felt like doing? Do you think Mother Teresa always felt like taking care of the poorest of the poor?

One thing is certain. If you do only what you feel like doing, your life will be miserable and you will be a failure.

Victory over self leads to ever increasing levels of achievement in any field. Our first opportunity for victory each day is when the alarm clock goes off and it is time to get out of bed. This is the first victory of the day. Most people when they wake up would prefer to lie in bed a little longer. The body cries out, “Just ten more minutes.”

Who is the master? Your lower faculties — bodily instincts — or your higher faculties — intellect, will, spirit? Do you do what your body tells you to do, or does your body do what you tell it to do?

If your dreams, goals, and purpose are not enough to inspire you to want to get out of bed in the morning, then you need to rethink your dreams, goals, and purpose.

Get out of bed. Grasp the day from the first moment. Achieve that first victory. Look at it as a victory. Affirm it as a victory. Victory encourages the human spirit to soar higher. Small victories are the mentors of greater victories. The human spirit responds to victory. Victory elevates the human spirit. We must learn to find victory in everything, even in defeat.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Matthew Kelly, the New York Times bestselling author of The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose (Copyright © 1999 by Matthew Kelly, Revised copyright © 2004 by Beacon Publishing), has been captivating audiences around the world since his late teens. Over the past decade, more than three million people have attended his talks and seminars in over fifty countries. Kelly is the president of Floyd Consulting.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 4 Simple Steps for Making a Difference
• Finding Happiness by Finding Purpose in Your Life
• How to Get More Sleep and Stop Walking Around Exhausted

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The Rhythm of Life
• See the book’s Table of Contents

Meditation practices based in Eastern spiritual traditions became popular in the West in the ’70s, but meditation has actually been a part of the Judeo-Christian and Native American traditions for thousands of years. The process of turning inward through meditation is universally recognized as a way to plug yourself in to Spirit.

Meditation takes many forms: focusing on a mantra or the breath, contemplation, visualization, or using sound. It’s any process that quiets the mind and helps connect you to your source and innermost essence, that state of pure Truth and Love.

I love this beautiful story about how meditation works:

A wise teacher, instructing his students to meditate, told them, “The process is like filling a sieve with water.” All of the students were confused by this statement. How it was possible to fill a sieve with water? Some thought it meant meditation was very difficult, and others thought it meant they could only expect temporary gains from their practice. Discouraged, they stopped meditating. One student, however, approached the teacher and asked him to explain. The teacher took the student to the edge of the ocean, gave him a sieve, and told him to try to fill it with water. The student scooped the water into the sieve, but it immediately ran out. The teacher took the sieve from the student and said, “I will show you how.” The teacher threw the sieve into the water, where it sank almost immediately. He told the student, “The sieve is full of water now and will stay that way forever. Meditation works the same way. It’s not about scooping small amounts of Spirit into your individual life, but about dropping yourself into the ocean of Spirit and merging with that Spirit more and more each day.”

Meditation and the Happy Brain
Whether you are aware of them or not, whether you recognize them as spiritual or not, you probably have had the experiences of silence, or transcendence, or the Divine — a few seconds, a few minutes that seem out of time; a moment when the ordinary looks beautiful, glowing; a deep sense of being at peace, feeling happy for no reason. When these experiences come…believe in them. They reflect your true nature.
– Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, spiritual teacher and humanitarian

Though meditating is relaxing and enjoyable, its greatest value comes from the influence it has on your life outside of meditation. Hundreds of studies have been done over the past forty years showing the powerful effects of meditation on our bodies, minds, and emotions. Some of the first research, done in the early 1970s by physiologist Dr. Robert Keith Wallace, studied the effects of meditation, specifically the Transcendental Meditation (TM) technique, and found that it offered many physical and psychological benefits, including normalization of blood pressure, decreased anxiety, and better immune functioning. Many more studies on all different types of meditation followed, and today meditating has become an accepted form of stress management the world over.

Meditation does much more than just help you cope with stress. Some of the most exciting research being done today shows that meditating puts you on the fast track to being happy by enhancing activity in areas of the brain associated with happiness and compassion.

Psychologist Dr. Paul Ekman at the University of California San Francisco Medical Center tested Buddhist monks — expert meditators — and found that their meditation practice seemed to calm the brain’s amygdala. What’s more, in and out of meditation, the monks were more serene. They were far less likely to panic or get upset, no matter what happened to them.

Dr. Richard Davidson has also done groundbreaking work with Buddhist monks, whom the Dalai Lama persuaded to volunteer for experiments studying the relationship between meditation, neuroplasticity, and brain activity. Dr. Davidson asked novice meditators as well as the monks, who’d spent more than 10,000 hours over the past thirty years practicing meditation, to engage in five different kinds of meditation while they measured their brain activity. The one that had the greatest effect was a “loving kindness” meditation designed to focus on compassion. Dr. Davidson discovered that during meditation, the more experienced monks had much higher levels of brain activity in their left prefrontal cortex, indicating happiness, empathy, and other positive emotions, than in their right prefrontal cortex, the area associated with anxiety and depression. This positive style of brain functioning was also found outside the period of meditation. In her book, Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain, the science journalist Sharon Begley explains that the enduring effects of meditation are due to the brain’s neuroplasticity: “Brain wiring responsible for negative emotions withers and that [wiring] responsible for compassion and happiness becomes stronger.”

If you’re bummed thinking you can’t be happy because you haven’t been a Buddhist monk for the past thirty years, don’t be. Dr. Davidson’s research showed that people who’d been meditating for only three months, twenty to thirty minutes a day, experienced significant physiological changes, reflecting greater happiness and health. Happily, you don’t have to meditate for decades to have results.

Different Strokes for Different Folks
Sitting down for a twenty- to thirty-minute meditation session each day is a great habit for plugging in to Spirit, but it isn’t the only way to meditate. In our interview, Happy 100 member and Tibetan Buddhist lama Anam Thubten Rinpoche told me about a meditation practice that anyone can do, anytime. I call it the Pause Practice: Seven times throughout the day, simply pause and just “be.” Become aware of your breath, and for a minute or two let yourself experience the present moment — the only time you can really experience happiness. When I do the Pause Practice regularly, I notice a greater sense of peace, perspective, and renewed energy.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Marci Shimoff, author of Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out (Copyright © 2008 by Marci Shimoff), is a celebrated transformational leader, an international speaker, and a #1 New York Times bestselling author. She is the coauthor of six of the top-selling titles in the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and is a featured teacher in the international movie and book sensation The Secret.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Escaping the Myth of I’ll-Be-Happy-When to Find Happiness Now

LEARN MORE

• Read more about the Happy 100 in the Introduction to Happy for No Reason
• Read Chapter 1 of Happy for No Reason
• Watch the video: The steps to being happy

What single factor most influences how you gauge whether your relationship with someone is good or bad, healthy or unhealthy, worthwhile or a waste of time? The answer: your expectations. When you have unrealistic expectations of other people, you are at high risk for getting hurt, disappointed, and depressed. It’s easiest, perhaps even reflexive, to blame others for your disappointment and self-righteously say, “That person let me down.” Maybe that person did let you down, but it’s at least as likely that you let yourself down by having unrealistic expectations to begin with. An awareness of your own expectations and the ability to determine whether they are realistic are vitally important skills to develop if you want to avoid suffering the hurts in your relationships that can lead to depression.

Your expectations for how others will see or respond to you can be entirely imaginary, yet still control your actions. Consider these points:

• Depressed people expect to be rejected by others, leading them to be shy at least and to have a diagnosable social anxiety disorder at most.
• Depressed people expect others to view them badly so when they are given a compliment or are acknowledged in some positive way, they view it as insincere or gratuitous, thereby minimizing or ignoring its merits.
• Depressed people expect to be judged negatively by others, leading to harsh and debilitating self-criticism and paralyzing self-doubt.
• Depressed people expect others to know how they feel and even expect others to feel the same way, leading to despair and even a sense of betrayal when others inadvertently hurt them by responding differently than expected.

The evidence is substantial that depressed people too often have unrealistic expectations of others, often without any basis other than mistaking their own fears for truth. They set themselves up for inevitable hurts simply by expecting the worst from others, which further compounds their depression. If you expect yourself to be treated badly, and allow it on the basis of your expectations, you will be. But, not because you deserve it, only because you allow it.

Pause and Reflect: Are You Aware of What You Expect?
Before you interact with someone, do you consider what you want from him or her? Typically, we want things like gentle support, or a fun, playful response, or an assurance, or an accurate piece of information. If you know what you want before you get into it, how might that influence your response as the interaction unfolds?

Given how much our expectations determine our level of satisfaction with nearly everything from relationships to movies to jobs to restaurants, we all need to become skilled at recognizing what we want — and therefore what we are likely to expect — before we interact with someone. What you want and expect is what makes you vulnerable to disappointment when it isn’t forthcoming.

Learn by Doing: Define Your Expectations
On a sheet of paper, make three columns. Label the first one, “What I want from so-and-so” (think of a specific person you will be dealing with); label the second, “What evidence is there that so-and-so can do this?” and label the third column, “Revised expectations.”

Think of at least half a dozen interactions with various people you expect to have in the next few days. In the first column, be specific about what you want and expect from the interaction. They may be things such as support, information, sex, fun, money, or a specific course of action you want someone to take. Simply articulating these wants and expectations can be very helpful. The next step is to articulate what you know about this person, what specific evidence you have that this person has the power and will to provide you with what you want or expect. The great danger, of course, is in wanting what someone either can’t or won’t provide. That’s how disappointment and hurt happen. Now, if you realize you need to revise your expectations once you’ve thought this through, state your revised expectations in the third column. As you’ll likely discover, what you want may be understandable, even reasonable…just not from that person.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D., author of Depression Is Contagious (Copyright © 2009 by Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D.), is a clinical psychologist and internationally recognized expert who lectures widely on depression, psychotherapy, and clinical hypnosis. He is the author of ten books, including Breaking the Patterns of Depression, Hand-Me-Down Blues, and Suggestions of Abuse. He lives with his wife, Diane, in Fallbrook, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Are You Depressed?
• Depression Is Contagious
• The Social Lives of Depressed People

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Depression Is Contagious: How the Most Common Mood Disorder Is Spreading Around the World and How to Stop It
• Watch a video with the author

The most important issue regarding sleep is when you sleep. Why do so many people feel they don’t get enough sleep? People of all different sleeping habits seem to want more. The issue here is not the quantity of our sleep, but rather the quality of our sleep.

You may think sleep is sleep. Yet numerous studies have revealed that people who sleep at the same time every night are considerably healthier than those who do not. They are affected by common colds less than one-third as many times as people who do not sleep at regular hours. The incidence of depression is also significantly lower with people who sleep at regular hours.

To implement the first instrument in our lives, to be able to get out of bed refreshed and energized in the morning, some preparation must be done. Once again, this preparation involves self knowledge. If you know you need to get out of bed at seven a.m. in order to get ready for your day in a calm and peaceful manner, and if you also know that if you don’t get seven hours of sleep, you become grouchy and miserable, then be fair to yourself. Be kind to yourself, and use your self-knowledge. It is powerful to live by what you know about yourself. Make sure that by midnight you are in bed, despite what problems emerge — schedules, stresses, social situations, and poor habits. Often these are what hinder our ability to get the sleep we need.

For example, to be in bed and asleep at midnight every night, you will certainly find yourself leaving some social events early. The question is, for the sake of a couple of extra hours at a party, are you prepared to throw your life into chaos?

Yes, there are exceptions. No, you do not have to be in bed every night by midnight for the rest of your life. But in our lives the exception has become the rule. There is no consistency to our sleeping patterns, and that is costing us dearly.

You may need only six hours of sleep, and you may decide your time is from eleven p.m. until five a.m. Or you may need eight hours of sleep and may decide to sleep from ten p.m. to six a.m. Each person must decide how much sleep optimizes his or her energy. Only you can decide what are the best hours for you to sleep.

Sleep should be used offensively, not defensively.

Many of us have been falsely led to believe that sleep is an expendable element and that it can be used defensively. Sleep builds us up. Sleep is one of the indispensable natural elements of our lives. Sleep is one of our legitimate needs. Sleep is intended to make us stronger, more vibrant, more productive, more loving, and more alert individuals. Sleep is important and should be given priority.

Our modern world works against this in so many ways. For instance, a great number of people uphold lack of sleep as a source of pride. Some people believe that excessive dedication to waking hours overrules the necessity for rest and regular sleep. They convince themselves that to be successful in their chosen field they must sacrifice sleep and rest — they even believe this to be heroic. These ideas are particularly common in business. Perhaps they need to return to the business school textbooks, reconsider the concept of “long-term residual effect,” and ponder it in relation to their own lives.

We have no greater evidence of the importance of sleep than in the habits of those who are highly successful. Recently I had the opportunity to meet Olympian Alberto Salazar after one of my talks in Oregon. He had a presence, the presence of a champion, a certain strength, and yet a profound humility.

Do you suppose when Alberto Salazar won the gold medal for the marathon at the 1992 Olympic games, he credited his success to sleeping less than all of the other athletes in his field? No, Salazar trained harder, rested more effectively, was more attuned to his dietary needs, was more in touch with his desire to win — and has been leaving parties early for years because he knows he has to get up early the next morning to train. If he doesn’t train well, he won’t compete well.

The truth is, people are walking around half-asleep all the time. Every day, people are exhausted. They are fatigued. Fatigue has become a pattern in our lives. This is a sad testament to how little we observe, know, and respect ourselves.

When was the last time you woke up and felt renewed, refreshed, and excited to get into your day? That is what I want you to experience — not occasionally, but every day.

On the other hand, do you remember the last time you had to get up early after a late night? How did you feel? Did you say to yourself, “I wish I didn’t have to get out of bed this morning”? Or perhaps, “I am never going to stay out late again on a work night”? How was your day? Were you a picture of energy? Did you enjoy the day? Were you efficient? Effective? Happy?

The real question is, will you let it happen again? Each of us should know how much sleep we require in order to function at maximum efficiency — be it six, seven, or eight hours. When will we begin to use this valuable information to our own advantage?

In this era of lust, we lust even after knowledge. Foolishly we believe that wisdom is the amassing of knowledge. We want to know more, but we do not want to live what we already know.

The first step is to sleep at the same time every night. In order to attune ourselves to the rhythm of life, we must adopt a regular pattern of sleep — going to bed at the same time and getting up at the same time. It really is quite simple, yet on occasions when I have shared this idea with people, they have looked at me as if I were asking the impossible. It is perhaps a testament to how complex and cluttered our lives have become. It is perhaps a testament to how out of control our lives are. Begin to take control of your life — adopt a regular sleeping schedule.

This is the most basic way I know to create the rhythm of life, and it is the essence of the first instrument. It brings a consistency to the general structure and organization of our lives. In the area of physical well-being, it is the first step toward maximizing our energy and therefore the first step toward increasing our effectiveness in everything we do.

I have seen it work in my own life, and I have seen it work in the lives of others. If you go to bed and get up at the same time every day, weekdays and weekends, in less than ten days you will feel like a different person. New energy, new enthusiasm, new passion for life.

It will be a challenge. It will be difficult at times. It will cost. It is simply a matter of priorities. This regular sleeping schedule will empower you to give your best to everything you do every day. You will no longer find yourself saying, “I just want to get through today and get home to bed!” That is no way to live. Every day should be savored. Being rested is not just about being awake — it’s about being able to devote yourself completely to whatever is before you in every single moment of the day. It is about living life to the fullest.

It is also important that you give consideration to how long you sleep. The secret with sleep is the same wisdom that applies to just about everything that affects the body — guard against extremes. Too little sleep is not good for us, and too much sleep is not good for us. If we sleep too little, we wake up fatigued; and if we sleep too much, we wake up fatigued. Test different sleeping times for several days. Grow to know yourself and what amount of sleep allows you to function most effectively.

Consideration should also be given to where you sleep and the environment you sleep in. Once again, try different things and get to know yourself. If it is too hot or too cold, how does that affect the effectiveness of your sleep?

How you sleep can also make a radical difference — whether it’s on your stomach, on your side, or on your back. Observe yourself. Know yourself. Use the knowledge you gain about yourself to live a happier, healthier, fuller life.

When I was eighteen and first in college under the spell of the “modern lie,” I used to believe that eating and sleeping were a waste of time. Twenty minutes was the absolute maximum I would dedicate to sitting at table for a meal, and mostly I ate on the run. When it came to sleep — two, three, four hours a night, and some nights I would not go to bed at all. Over the past ten years, I have learned a lot about myself, and I know now that without seven hours of sleep each night, I am no good to anyone.

It is time we began to see sleep not as a limitation or burden, but as a gift. Embrace this gift. Treasure the gift. Cherish the gift. Enjoy the gift. Use the gift of sleep to its maximum advantage. Use sleep to begin to create the rhythm of life.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Matthew Kelly, the New York Times bestselling author of The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose (Copyright © 1999 by Matthew Kelly, Revised copyright © 2004 by Beacon Publishing), has been captivating audiences around the world since his late teens. Over the past decade, more than three million people have attended his talks and seminars in over fifty countries. Kelly is the president of Floyd Consulting.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 4 Simple Steps for Making a Difference
• Finding Happiness by Finding Purpose in Your Life
• Is Your Lifestyle Destroying You?

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Watch the video: The author discusses relationships and his book The Seven Levels of Intimacy

How does my niceness regarding friends drive me to eat?
There are a few ways you can get yourself into trouble here. First, by not having enough companions and confidants, food becomes your best buddy. Instead of calling on Connie, Alicia, Steve, or Shana to help you sort out a mess you got yourself into or to pull you up and out of the doldrums you’ve been in ever since your last fling ended badly, you surround yourself with chums named Ben, Jerry, Uncle Ben, Mrs. Smith, and Sara Lee. Whenever you regularly substitute food for people because you don’t have enough intimates in your life or because you fear burdening or depending on others, something is seriously wrong. Your choices keep you isolated and give you no real help. In fact, they compound your problems.

Another way dysfunctional relationships propel you in the direction of your pantry is that by not depending on people, you overstress yourself. And you know where you turn for soothing and solace when that happens. Due to your quest not to make waves or enemies and be all things to all people, the pressure becomes so unbearable that you reach out to the closest thing available when you’re about to explode — food. You need instant gratification and comfort and there it is beckoning to you from so many cute little bags and boxes. By allowing yourself to become overstressed, you set yourself up for a fall — off the wagon and into the cheese dip.

One final way that seriously flawed friendships may cause you to seek out sweets and treats is how your networks view eating and weight. In certain circles, food and fat are the enemy and, trying to fit in, you may place yourself in a position of trying to lose weight too fast or become thinner than your body should be. Pressure to be included can be intense and, rather than friends helping you to become comfortable with your body, you may be surrounding yourself with people who subtly and not so subtly give you the message that you need to be fit to fit in. Conversely, if your friendships are cemented by food and revolve around eating, you may not have the guts to try to make some changes in what you do when you’re hanging out or to break away from the old gang. You may be too frightened that you’ll hurt feelings or that people will think you’re selfish or arrogant just because you want to take care of yourself!

No More Nice Girl Manifesto for Friends

DO

• Extend yourself toward people you like and care about.

• Expect friends to be emotionally healthy, self-aware, and working on resolving their issues.

• Require that friends be good listeners, go out of their way for you, provide validation, understanding, sound advice, and solicited (and if you are harming yourself, unsolicited) feedback.

• Seek out people who can put aside their needs and desires and who have your interest at heart.

• Encourage friends to share their honest feelings with you in a tactful, appropriate way, even if their words hurt.

• Anticipate that communicating authentically with friends does not come automatically but takes time, commitment, trust, guts, and energy.

• Surround yourself with people who can take feedback so that you don’t have to sit on your hurt and stuff your feelings with food.

• Have enough friends that all your eggs aren’t in one basket and have different kinds of associations for varying needs and activities (going out, heart-to-heart talks, etc.).

• Allow that friends aren’t perfect and neither are you.

• Expect that friends will share equally the work of forging a spectacular relationship.

• Know that you will make and lose friends throughout life and believe that you will always have good friends as long as you want and seek them out.

DON’T

• Keep friends just because you feel bad for them or are afraid to cut them loose.

• Accept ongoing excuses from people who cannot live up to your reasonable expectations about friendship.

• Keep on doing for people who don’t give back to you in return.

• Take an ongoing part in relationships in which a friend wants you to be her mother, can’t admit to being wrong, is a perpetual victim, or has to have the last word.

• Wear blinders, ignore red flags, or avoid seeing the truth about alleged friends.

• Believe you don’t need friends and can take care of yourself emotionally without them.

• Spend a lot of time with people you don’t enjoy or who don’t add to your life.

• Try to fix friends’ problems; instead support them in fixing their own problems.

• Let other people pressure you into staying friends with someone for his own reasons when it is not in your best interest.

• Pal around with people who aren’t introspective and self-reflective, can’t laugh at themselves, and refuse to go into therapy if they have severe dysfunctions.

• Keep company with friends who see themselves as living under a black cloud, because they’ll only make you feel helpless and push you into a caretaking role.

Well, that’s it. An area of your life has gone under the microscope and you’ve survived. You now know how to sidestep being too nice with family and friends. Of course, you can’t go out and make all the changes you need to de-nice yourself and improve your relationship with food today, but you’ve got tomorrow and the day after and the day after that.

To do today

Call a person who you’d like to get to know or get to know better to say hello.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Karen R. Koenig, the author of Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever (Copyright © 2009 by Karen R. Koenig), is a cognitive-behavioral therapist and author of three books on eating and weight. A national speaker, she regularly teaches workshops on eating to groups around the country. She lives in Sarasota, Florida.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 23 Do’s and Don’ts to Prevent Packing on the Pounds at Work
• Does Your Family Make You Fat?
• Is Being a Perfectionist Ruining Your Life?
• Stop Being a People Pleaser and Take Control of Your Diet
  

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever
• Read Chapter 1 of the book
• Learn more about the author

This sweetest of substances is one of the most addictive flavors in the world and therefore possibly one of the most dangerous for our children, and certainly ourselves. Sugar is one of those devilish things that can sneak into our sense of craving and desire early in our lives, and for some people it becomes the ultimate challenge to cut back. Even worse, it is widely known that many food producers sneak insulin-spiking sugars into their products to increase the flavor when salt and fat have been reduced.

We would like to offer a rethinking of sugar, one that asks you to consider other ways of getting a sugar fix without having to worry about all of the well-known adverse effects of too much sugar, not the least of which are serious diseases such as diabetes and obesity. We like to believe that sugar tastes the sweetest when it comes directly from the gifts of nature.

According to nutritionists, it is the high-glycemic sugars that you have to really watch out for. These include sucrose, glucose, dextrose, evaporated cane juice, maltodextrin, galactose, corn syrup, dextrin, beet sugar, raw sugar, white sugar, concentrated fruit juice, syrup, sorghum, honey, maple syrup, and high-fructose syrup. Foods like soft drinks, ice cream, pastries, canned fruit, and candy are also loaded with starches that inevitably become high-glycemic sugars.

Ways to Moderate Your Family’s Sugar Intake

• Buy unsweetened cereal and add fresh fruit and honey at home.
• Stay away from fruit juices that say “from concentrate” and look instead for “100 percent fruit juice.” But don’t believe the “100 percent” part; you can assume there is still way too much sugar in there. The best thing to do is to dilute the juice at home. This way you can really minimize the amount of sugar per drink but still get a nice kick of flavor too.
• Don’t put ketchup at the table for every meal; in fact, try to get your kids accustomed to eating without it. Believe it or not, there is 1 tablespoon of added sugar in every tablespoon of ketchup.
• If your kids love chocolate, introduce them to dark chocolate and see if they bite…the closer chocolate is to raw cacao, the better it is for your health.
• Replace maple syrup, for example, with regular honey or date honey; or use natural agave syrup as a sweetener, which is so much better for you than anything with chemicals in it and tastes perfectly sweet in just about anything.
• Serve a fresh chopped mango for dessert instead of cake or cookies, and teach your family to appreciate this unique, natural sweetness that comes from perfectly ripe fruit. The trick is to eat the right fruits at the right time, and if you stick to this seasonal cue, you’ll never miss out on the sweetness factor.
• Expose your children to fruits like dates and figs, which taste almost like morsels of caramel and also happen to be high in fiber.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Jorge Posada is an all-star catcher for the New York Yankees. Laura Posada is an attorney, a certified personal trainer, and CEO of Laura Posada, LLC. The couple lives with their two children, Jorge Luis and Paulina, in New York City. They are the authors of Fit Home Team: The Posada Family Guide to Health, Exercise, and Nutrition the Inexpensive and Simple Way (Copyright © 2009 by Jorge Posada and Laura Posada).

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• 18 Ways to Turn Your Kids Onto Healthier Eating
• How to Keep Your Kids Moving During the Winter
• Restaurant Rules 101: Tips for Eating Out With Your Family

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Fit Home Team: The Posada Family Guide to Health, Exercise, and Nutrition the Inexpensive and Simple Way
• Watch a video with Jorge Posada and Laura Posada

1. Is the center licensed by the state and accredited with a national day care accreditation program? How long has it been in operation? Who owns and runs the center?
Not all states license and regulate adult day care centers. Check with your local Area Agencies on Aging (in the telephone book), the Eldercare Locator (http://www.eldercare.gov), and the Better Business Bureau (http://www.bbb.org).

Because the demand for adult day care services is relatively new and growing rapidly, there are few standards for excellence, regulations, or inspections to help you judge quality. As a result, there may be a great deal of difference between individual centers.

Ask to see the center’s license and latest inspection report. Knowing how long the center has been in operation and if it operates as a nonprofit or for-profit organization will help you assess its reliability and value. If you have choices, visit several centers near you (or near the AD patient) and talk with the staff and other families who use the center.

2. What are the qualifications, experience, and length of service of the center’s administrative staff and aides?
Many centers have limited budgets and must rely heavily on part-time workers or volunteers. As a result, there is often high turnover among employees, low expectations for quality staff performance, and few hiring requirements.

However, you still want to be assured that the staff has been fully checked, including background checks for past criminal records. A policy of regular staff evaluations indicates that employees are being held accountable for meeting performance standards.

Ask what the client-to-employee ratio is to ensure there are enough workers to offer creative activities and one-on-one attention as needed. Expect higher levels of staff professionalism and medical expertise in a medically oriented center.

Here are more follow-up questions to clarify the staff’s credentials. Do staff members have dementia-specific training? Does the center have a physician, nurse, or licensed health care professional on the premises or on call? If the center uses volunteers, are they adequately trained and supervised?

3. How convenient is the center and its operating hours for me/my loved one? Can we make arrangements for transportation?
The convenience of a center is a very important consideration, especially for frequent or daily use. If you work or have other commitments, its operating hours can be crucial, as well as the availability of transportation.

It’s equally important, though, not to choose an adult day care center solely based on its convenience or cost. Overall, quality is more important than location.

4. What services are available? What is a typical day like?
The ideal day care facility for Alzheimer’s patients is specifically designed for them, including their own segregated area away from other seniors using the facility.

Ask if this center offers mainly social or medical services to match your needs. Social centers should highlight games, mental activities, field trips, educational programs, socializing, and exercise classes. Look for therapeutic activities that encourage thinking abilities and help to improve memory, strength, mobility, and dexterity. Some locations even offer hairstyling services, counseling, and support groups.

Medically focused centers offer assessments, rehabilitation, blood pressure checks, and medication reminders. If your loved one requires more medical care, choose a facility staffed by skilled nurses, social workers, and physical therapists with a high staff-to-participant ratio.

Be practical, too. As Clare Absher, an experienced geriatric nurse in North Carolina says, “We all want the place to look like a cruise ship so we feel better about leaving our loved one there. But the physical environment is really not that significant. A homey rambler or ranch- style building with good nursing care and only a TV can be just as good for the person with Alzheimer’s.”

5. Will the center evaluate my/my loved one’s individualized needs and develop an activities plan?
Within reason, you want to choose a facility that will work closely with your loved one to tailor its programs to her specific needs, interests, and cognitive level. If the center does perform client evaluations, ask how it will be done, if you will have access to the results, and how often it will be repeated.

Other smart follow-up questions include, “Are all people required to participate at all times?” Will there be any progress reports?” “How will I know about my loved one’s day and what’s happening in the center (such as video webcams for remote monitoring)?” “Will the staff inform me on a daily basis about my loved one’s well- being and any problems she had today?”

6. How does the center manage Alzheimer’s problem behaviors, including wandering, aggression, improper sexual advances, incontinence, depression, and withdrawal?
The best answer to this Best Question includes a description of the special training that the staff has received in coping with Alzheimer’s patients’ behaviors. Even if you or your loved one doesn’t display any of these bad behaviors, you still don’t want to be exposed to an overabundance of them in others because they are being ignored or mishandled.

Ask about the center’s polices on disciplinary methods and if food is ever used as a punishment or reward. Make sure that an occasional incident of incontinence isn’t grounds for punishment or exclusion from the center. If possible, visit during a late afternoon when AD patients are likely to be “sundowning” (agitation or restlessness) to see for yourself how well the staff routinely handles people with late-day confusion and problem behaviors.

7. What precautions are in place to ensure safety and to deal with emergencies?
Safety and security are paramount concerns. Look for safe wandering areas indoors and outside (such as a secured courtyard or garden), well-marked hallways, quality lighting, privacy areas, accessible bathrooms, and a nurturing, comfortable ambiance.

Ask about fire and safety policies, including a posted fire escape route, fire extinguisher, regular safety inspections, a sprinkler system, and a written emergency preparedness plan. Inquire about specialized staff training to help disabled or confused people escape during an emergency.

Find out if the staff has been trained in first aid and CPR at a minimum. Ask if a doctor is always on call and what are the procedures when there is an accident on the premises.

8. Does the center provide meals or snacks? If so, what are the center’s nutrition policies? How will my loved one’s nutritional needs be met?
Ask if you can sample a meal or a snack yourself. Ideally, return another time unannounced to try the food again.

Request to see a typical menu or food plan. Ask how the center will accommodate special dietary needs, such as a culturally specific menu or food allergies. Inquire about any extra costs for certain foods or special menus.

9. Are the costs, eligibility, admission, and discharge standards spelled out in writing and clarified in advance?
Since Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive disorder, you want to know in advance how the center will deal with someone’s worsening condition. Most centers exclude late-stage AD patients with severe problem behaviors. Get the specifics now.

In addition to daily charges, ask if you must pay anything in advance. If so, ask about the center’s policies for paying during absences, holidays, and illnesses. Discuss transportation costs and any possible hidden fees (craft supplies, field trips, etc.). Inquire about fees for initiation, deposits, late arrivals, or late pickups. Do you have to pay for any programs booked but not actually attended?

10. What are the names and contact details for three clients/AD caregivers whom I can talk to?
This request is common practice and the center should already have made prearrangements for client referrals. When you talk to the referrals, ask them for the center’s strengths, weaknesses, and past performance in handling problems ranging from daily difficult AD behaviors to medical emergencies. Focus especially on their impression of the staff, including qualifications, turnover, and their responsiveness to individuals’ needs and interests.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dede Bonner, Ph.D., aka “The Question Doctor” and author of The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s (Copyright © 2008 by 10 Best Questions LLC), specializes in creative breakthrough and money-saving Best Questions for corporate clients and CEOs. She is on the graduate business faculty of Curtin University in Perth, Western Australia, and is an internationally acclaimed expert in questioning skills and management. A former political analyst for the federal government, Dr. Bonner is the owner of New Century Management, Inc, and 10 Best Questions, LLC. She has a doctorate of education in executive leadership.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 10 Best Questions to Ask to Find a Top Alzheimer’s Specialist
• 10 Questions to Ask if Your Spouse Has Been Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease
• How to Spot a Bad Nursing Home: The 10 Questions You Should Ask
• When Should Dad Go to a Nursing Home?
• How to Talk About Your Fibromyalgia Diagnosis With Those You Love

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 from The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s
• See the book’s Introduction
• More articles by Dede Bonner, Ph.D., “The Question Doctor”
• Browse more books by the author

Back to the Basics: Essential Cleaning Products
… I want you to go look under your kitchen sink, or inside your utility closet, or wherever you keep your household cleaning products. You probably have a lot of different bottles stashed away — most Americans do.

So, what did you find in there? Window/glass cleaner, toilet bowl cleaner, spray bleach, detergent, fabric softener, dryer sheets, spot remover, spray starch, automatic dishwashing detergent, hand dishwashing liquid, furniture polish, oven cleaner, scouring cream, shower cleaner, tub and tile cleaner, carpet shampoo, and probably several other products you can no longer remember why you bought in the first place.

When we greened Hackensack University Medical Center, the janitorial staff had been using twenty-two different cleaning products. This inflated figure was pretty typical of the hospitals and other institutions — including schools — that we visited. Some places were using up to twenty-five or thirty different products. By the end of the greening process at Hackensack, we’d cut that number down to eight core and eleven total, half of what they used to order.

Like hospitals, we waste a great deal of money and precious storage space on specialty products. You actually only need a handful of versatile nontoxic products to clean your entire house.

• All-purpose cleaner for floors, counters, kitchen surfaces, bathrooms, tubs, tiles, carpets, spills, and stains
• Window/glass cleaner for glass, windows, and all stainless steel
• Automatic dishwashing detergent
• Hand dishwashing liquid for pots, pans, dishes, fine china, glasses, teapots, coffeepots, silver, and anything else you don’t want to put in your dishwasher
• Laundry liquid
• Baking soda, or sodium bicarbonate, is unbelievably useful in every room of your house. It can neutralize acid, scrub shiny materials without scratching, unclog and clean drains, extinguish grease fires, and remove certain stains. Baking soda can also be used to deodorize your refrigerator, carpets, and upholstery. It can clean and polish aluminum, chrome, jewelry, plastic, porcelain, silver, stainless steel, copper, and tin.
• Distilled white vinegar works much better than any toxic disinfectant you can buy. It contains about 5 percent acetic acid, which makes it great at removing stains. Vinegar can also dissolve mineral deposits and grease, remove traces of soap, remove mildew or wax buildup, polish some metals, and deodorize almost every room of your house. You can use it to clean coffeepots, windows, brick, stone, carpets, toilet bowls — just about every surface in your house except marble, in fact. A tablespoon of white vinegar added to the rinse cycle also acts as a wonderful fabric softener. While it’s normally diluted with water, in some cases, it can be used straight. I recommend using organic vinegar, which is slightly pricier than the nonorganic kind but still a lot cheaper than most consumer cleaning products.
• Lemon juice is a natural odor-eater that combines well with other ingredients. It can be used to clean glass and remove stains from aluminum, copper, clothing, and porcelain, and nothing works better on Formica surfaces. If used with sunlight, lemon juice is a mild lightener or bleach. Squeeze the juice from half a lemon into the wash cycle to get rid of odors on clothing.
• Table salt is great at removing rust. With lemon juice, it can clean copper. When mixed with vinegar, salt polishes brass. Salt is also a key ingredient in an effective, all-natural scouring powder.
• Hydrogen peroxide can be diluted to remove stains from heavily soiled whites and other clothing and a number of surfaces. You can dip a cotton swab in diluted hydrogen peroxide to remove stains from thick white curtains.
• Essential oils
• Ketchup can be used to clean copper and brass.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Deirdre Imus, author of Green This! Volume 1: Greening Your Cleaning (Copyright © 2007 by Git’R Green, Inc.), is the founder and president of Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology®, part of Hackensack University Medical Center (HUMC) in New Jersey. She is also a co-founder and co-director of the Imus Castle Ranch for Kids with Cancer, and the author of the bestselling book The Imus Ranch: Cooking for Kids and Cowboys.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 4 Holistic Health Practices to Try
• 4 Questions to Ask When Shopping for Green Cleaning Products
• 7 Reasons Children Are Exceptionally Sensitive to Everyday Chemicals
• Nourishing Baby: Smart Choices for Moms — Plus, How to Find Safe Baby Bottles
• Top 10 Ways to Green Your Life

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Green This! Volume 1: Greening Your Cleaning
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Watch the video: Easy green lifestyle changes anyone can make
• More books by Deirdre Imus

Your Selective Brain
Your brain pays attention to only a small portion of the information it’s receiving at any one time. It does this through the reticular activating system (RAS), a network of nerve cells that controls consciousness and selective attention to information. The RAS is inactive, for example, when a person is sleeping or under general anesthesia. The frontal cortex still activates in response to incoming information, but the brain neither processes the information nor remembers it. If the RAS is turned on, it will be conscious of the incoming information.

There is a very clever video that was created by Daniel Simons of the University of Illinois and Christopher Chabris of Harvard University several years ago that demonstrates selective attention. It is fun to watch, and I encourage you to take a look at it on the Internet at http://viscog.beckman.uiuc.edu/flashmovie/15.php. In fact, I encourage you to take a look at it now, before you read any further, if you really want a demonstration of what I’m about to describe.

This short video shows how one can fail to see something obvious if concentrating on something else. Technically, your brain does see everything, but it can fail to register all that it sees. In this video clip, the viewer is instructed to count the number of passes a group of adults make to one another with a basketball. There are two balls going at the same time. One point is scored every time a person passes the ball to another person wearing the same color shirt, black or white. More than 50 percent of people who view this video are so preoccupied with counting the passes that they fail to see a gorilla walk right into the center of the group and thump its chest. Now, I’ve told you the punch line to make my point about selective attention, so if you go online and view this video, you will almost certainly see the gorilla, but ask a colleague or friend to watch the clip. Make sure you emphasize that the point of the exercise is to see if he or she can focus well enough to come up with the accurate number of passes that occur in the video. You will be amazed at how many people miss the gorilla.

A selective brain is efficient. It saves energy. If your brain processed everything it saw, heard, smelled, tasted, or felt, it would quickly be overwhelmed with inconsequential information. Selective attention allows you to multitask, to lose yourself in thought without having to expend mental energy on the mundane tasks you do every day. How often have you taken a shower and brushed your teeth in the morning without really thinking about it? How often have you driven to work while lost in thought?

Making a major behavior change often requires that your brain pay attention to behaviors it has become used to ignoring. Change often starts by simply paying close attention to whatever it is you want to change. It may help you to write down what you eat every day, record how many cigarettes you smoke, or list the times you feel anxious. Simply having a heightened consciousness can be pivotal in making a change in your behavior. At first it can be frustrating because what you are doing differently is so new that you keep forgetting to do it. But with practice, as I’ve said, you will start to remember. Try to build a reminder into your daily routine. After a while, you will not need to make such a conscious effort; your actions will become second nature.

Conclusion: Creating an increased awareness about a particular behavior can make all the difference when it comes to changing that behavior.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Kelly Traver, M.D., author of The Program (Copyright © 2009 by Kelly Traver, M.D., and Elizabeth Kelly Sargent), has been practicing medicine for more than seventeen years. She recently served as medical director at Google and is currently on the board for the Institute for the Future. Dr. Traver is the founder of Healthiest You, a company that works with corporations, health care organizations, and the government to help individuals become more empowered and engaged in their health.

Betty Kelly Sargent is a writer and veteran book and magazine editor, as well as a certified life coach.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 7 Strategies for Reducing Stress
• 10 Weight-Busting Ingredients and Easy Substitutes
• Change Your Brain, Change Your Routine, Change Your Life
• Top 10 Happiness Strategies: Scientifically-Documented Ways to Improve Your Mood

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 2 of The Program, a life-changing 12-week method

Water: the perfect beverage. Drink a minimum of eight glasses of water a day. The benefits are proven: drinking water increases metabolism, reduces hunger, burns fat, and flushes toxins from your body.

You should always drink a glass of water as soon as you wake up. It jump-starts your metabolism and begins flushing toxins. Room-temperature water is best — add a little lemon or cranberry or pomegranate juice to liven it up. Lemon juice reduces bloat and helps detox, cranberry juice flushes toxins, and pomegranate is full of antioxidants and energizers. I continue to drink water throughout the day, with or without the added lemon, cranberry, or pomegranate juice.

The Waker-Upper: I find that the best waker-upper is water with lemon zest and lemon juice. Lemon zest improves liver detox and speeds fat metabolism, and this beverage is really refreshing. Combine the juice of half a lemon with 1 teaspoon of freshly grated zest and add to 12 ounces of room temperature water.

Green tea: I love green tea! It boosts metabolism to burn calories and has tons of antioxidants. I drink iced green tea with stevia throughout the day. Yerba maté tea is great, too. I start my day with a cup or two, sweetened with stevia, every morning. Other super teas include dandelion root and milk thistle teas, which detox and flush the liver.

Smoothies: here are a few of my favorites: Blend 1 cup frozen blueberries, 1?2 cup pomegranate juice, 2 cups apple juice, 6 oz. soft tofu, and 1/2 frozen banana. Delicious. Also tasty: Combine 1 cup frozen berries, 1 banana, 1 cup non-fat, no-sugar yogurt, 1/2 cup orange juice, and low-fat milk or soy milk. Blend until creamy. And, last but not least, a truly decadent one: Combine half of a banana, a cup of chocolate Silk soy milk, 4 ice cubes, and 1 tablespoon of peanut butter. Blend together and swoon.

Liver Detox
Learning about the importance of the liver was life-changing for me. The liver is the engine that keeps the body running on max by controlling detoxification, energy, and weight, and is responsible for processing alcohol, sugar, and fat. An overstressed liver can’t burn fat and convert food into energy efficiently. Cleansing the liver of toxins revs metabolism by 23 percent, allowing the liver to eliminate toxins, fluids, and fats. Your liver affects every aspect of your appearance — your hair, nails, skin, weight, everything.

I knew the liver was important for overall health and well-being, but it wasn’t until I did a three-day spa detox that I became a disciple of the liver detox program. Last summer, after a grueling schedule shooting my fourth cardio ballroom DVD in three day’s time (among many other things), I was drained, physically and emotionally, and I needed to detox and decompress, so my friend Jana and I booked a weekend spa retreat in Palm Springs. For three days, we consumed fourteen different juices a day, accompanied by yoga, massage, meditation, and colonics. While some people love the results but hate the process (the colonics) of these types of retreats, I loved everything about it. I lost three pounds in three days. I had two colonics and two fabulous massages and a lemon salt body scrub, and it made me feel like a new woman. For me, it’s a great way to drop weight quickly and to recharge and rejuvenate. I absolutely adored it!

The liquid diet at the spa consisted of a range of drinks with spirulina, wheatgrass, barley, acidophilus, freshly squeezed vegetable juice, lemon water, enzymes, liver and kidney-purifying teas, and blood-purifying tea. They were amazing. While you might not be able to get to a top-notch spa anytime soon, here are some cleansing drinks you can make at home:

Cleansing lemonade: combine 2 tablespoons of freshly squeezed lemon or lime juice, 1 tablespoon of pure maple syrup, a dash of cayenne pepper, and 8 ounces of water. Drink before breakfast and lunch. This is an amazing anti-inflammatory that reduces bloating and puffiness.

Super energy drink: combine 1 cup soy milk, a banana, 2 to 3 teaspoons of spirulina, 1 cup of berries, half a cup of yogurt, and a cup of pomegranate juice. Blend, drink, and feel instantly energized.

Vegetable or chicken broth: drink a cup of this before meals to curb your appetite and add to your water intake.

Liquid salad: no time to eat, never mind cook? Drink an 8-ounce glass of vegetable juice mixed with 2 tablespoons of green super food powder sold in health food stores. The powder contains chlorophyll, which neutralizes toxins, flushes out excess water, and speeds fat metabolism.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lisa Rinna, author of Rinnavation (Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Rinna), is an award-winning actress and television host, best known for her roles on Days of Our Lives and Melrose Place, as well as her co-hosting duties on Soap Talk, her appearances on Dancing with the Stars, and her red-carpet interviews on the TV Guide Network. She is the creator of a line of dance-themed exercise DVDs called Lisa Rinna Dance Body Beautiful, and she runs her own successful boutique, Belle Gray, with her husband, actor Harry Hamlin, with whom she has two daughters, Delilah and Amelia.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 11 Fab Foods You Should Be Eating
• The Ultimate Quick-Fix Workout

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever
• Watch a slideshow of photos from the book

How much does it cost to get pregnant? It depends on many things — age, cause of infertility, you and your partner’s general health, your doctor’s skills… even good old-fashioned luck. What’s the short answer? Once you open the door marked “Fertility Treatment,” getting pregnant will cost more than you expect.

Just because you are beginning infertility treatment doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to undergo a $20,000 procedure. You have a lot of power and resources that can affect your course of treatment. With the right knowledge and skills, you can positively influence both your overall experience and ultimate outcome. First, let’s focus on the basic progression of your baby-making journey starting from the very beginning.

Preconception Planning
Most of us entered adulthood thinking we could have a baby whenever we wanted. The reality is that, biologically speaking, it is amazing anyone gets pregnant. Conception results from a complex chain of events. A woman must first release an egg from her ovaries, the egg must travel through the fallopian tubes toward her uterus, and a man’s sperm must join with the egg for fertilization to occur. Finally, the fertilized egg must implant itself into the uterus. Of course, next the embryo needs to grow. Infertility can result from problems that interfere with any of these steps.

Educate yourself about fertility. This can be done through doing your own research and through regular conversations with your gynecologist or other primary care physician (PCP). Don’t be afraid to bring the topic up (multiple times if you have to) and talk openly about your family-building plans and concerns. There is no such thing as a stupid question. Your doctor can help you understand your fertility and address any problems as soon as possible.

As we will discuss in more detail in chapter 2 of Budgeting for Infertility, age is a huge factor for women trying to get pregnant. While infertility can strike at any age, with age comes decreasing fertility. The younger you are, the more fertility options you have and the greater the chances for success. If you want to have a baby, trying at thirty or thirty-five is more effective than waiting until after forty. Advanced age is not an impossible obstacle to overcome, but it may well include more time, more money, and more complications — so it’s important to plan accordingly.

Recognize, too, that lifestyle factors can affect fertility. Being unhealthy, including being overweight or smoking, can also decrease your fertility. If you want to get pregnant, it’s never too early to start focusing on these issues and trying to get yourself as healthy as possible. Sometimes losing a little weight, stopping smoking, or adopting a more health-focused lifestyle can allow you to become pregnant without any further interventions.

Initial Evaluation and Therapy
When do you seek help? You may be considered to have impaired fertility if pregnancy has not occurred after one year of unprotected, well-timed intercourse. If you are a woman over thirty-five and have been trying unsuccessfully for over six months, you should consult your gynecologist. Your gynecologist can offer initial testing and information but may then recommend you see a fertility specialist known as a reproductive endocrinologist.

Routine infertility testing will be conducted, including a semen analysis for the male partner and hormone testing and an ultrasound of the female’s reproductive organs. Initial treatments will probably include a prescription for fertility medications. This is often coupled with an intrauterine insemination (IUI) where either your partner’s sperm or sperm from a donor is placed directly inside your uterus using a small catheter. The good news is that many women become pregnant with these measures, which can cost as little as a few hundred to a few thousand dollars per attempt.

Intermediate Testing and Therapy
If still nothing is happening, then it’s time to try another tactic. More extensive testing will be recommended to assess your reproductive organs in more detail. Most likely, your fertility specialist will be looking for any problems that are prohibiting sperm and egg from meeting. For example, fibroids or endometriosis may be blocking your tubes. If this is found to be the case, your doctor could recommend minor outpatient surgery to check out your uterus and fallopian tubes as well as open up any blockages. Because this is surgery, this will most likely be covered by insurance. Testing and surgery can add thousands to your cost, but probably not out of pocket.

Advanced Reproductive Technology (ART)
If the sperm and egg are meeting without fertilization or if any blockages cannot be cleared through surgery, in vitro fertilization (IVF) will be considered. With IVF, the doctor is able to facilitate fertilization by putting the eggs and sperm together in a lab. Once fertilization has occurred, your fertility specialist will place the growing embryo into your uterus.

IVF is no longer considered a high-tech or experimental treatment. The first successful IVF cycle was performed in 1978, resulting in the birth of Louise Brown. Since then, more than 1 million babies have been born through IVF worldwide. More than 70,000 cycles of IVF are performed each year in the United States alone. Today, IVF is often combined with intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI), which allows a single sperm to be directly injected into the egg with a small needle in order to maximize fertilization. IVF is expensive (the average cost ranges between $6,000 and $25,000 per cycle), but success rates are encouraging, with about 40 percent of women bringing home a baby.

Third-Party Reproduction
Third-party reproduction (also known as collaborative reproduction, or surrogate reproduction) is used only as a last resort. Third-party reproduction includes egg donation, embryo donation, sperm donation, and traditional surrogates/gestational carriers. For families who have tried previous options without success, or for families who know from the beginning that they are unable to use their own eggs or uterus, third-party reproduction offers promising hope. Because fertile women are enlisted as donors, surrogates, or gestational carriers, success rates for these treatments are significantly higher — although they are also much more expensive, usually topping $30,000 to $60,000.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Evelina Weidman Sterling, Ph.D. is a nationally-recognized public health researcher and educator specializing in fertility and women’s health issues. Angie Best-Boss is a writer whose articles on women’s health and infertility have appeared in dozens of both online and print resources. They are the authors Budgeting for Infertility: How to Bring Home a Baby Without Breaking the Bank (Copyright © 2009 by Evelina Weidman Sterling and Angie Best-Boss). Visit them at www.myfertilityplan.com.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• Budgeting for Infertility: 5 Things You Can Do Now

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 from Budgeting for Infertility: How to Bring Home a Baby Without Breaking the Bank
• Find out about the authors’ book Before Your Time: The Early Menopause Survival Guide

THE 10 BEST QUESTIONS WHEN TOURING A LONG-TERM CARE FACILITY
The Joint Commission’s nursing home specialist, Dale Johnson, suggests, “The best way to know is to go visit yourself and observe. If you overhear the staff talking about so-and-so’s mom or calling her by name, that’s a different level of care than the staff who refers to ‘the patient in bed A’ or ‘the person who loses his socks.’ ”

Don’t fall for the glitzy tour pitch from the facility’s director. During the tour, ask yourself these questions while you keep your eyes, ears, and nose on full alert. The following Best Questions have been adapted from AARP’s warning signs for bad nursing homes.

1. Are there strong odors, particularly of urine or heavy disinfectant as a cover- up?
2. How clean is the facility? (Ask to see an occupied resident’s room to judge janitorial care.)
3. Do you see the use of restraints, such as chair, bed, or wheelchair straps or vests, or bruises, welts, or cuts on the residents?
4. Are residents’ needs for privacy treated with respect, such as undressing them in private?
5. Does the staff speak to the residents (or one another) rudely or disrespectfully? Do staffers know residents by name and as individuals? Are the staffers speaking in a language your loved one doesn’t know?
6. Are calls for help answered promptly? Are there grab bars and other safety features?
7. Are residents’ food trays full or only half eaten? Are staffers helping residents to eat?
8. Do residents look lonely, unhappy, inactive, or immobile? Are they clean, dressed, and groomed?
9. Are you greeted or acknowledged by staff members, or is your presence ignored or even resented?
10. Is there a wide discrepancy between how well decorated and brightly lit the lobby/common areas are compared to the residents’ hallways and rooms?

Long-time caregiver and author Patricia Callone suggests, “I recommend making pop-in visits unannounced around mealtime to see if people have eaten their food and to check for cleanliness.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dede Bonner, Ph.D., aka “The Question Doctor” and author of The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s (Copyright © 2008 by 10 Best Questions LLC), specializes in creative breakthrough and money-saving Best Questions for corporate clients and CEOs. She is on the graduate business faculty of Curtin University in Perth, Western Australia, and is an internationally acclaimed expert in questioning skills and management. A former political analyst for the federal government, Dr. Bonner is the owner of New Century Management, Inc, and 10 Best Questions, LLC. She has a doctorate of education in executive leadership.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 10 Best Questions to Ask to Find a Top Alzheimer’s Specialist
• 10 Questions to Ask if Your Spouse Has Been Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease
• How Do I Find Help for My Parent With Alzheimer’s Disease?: The 10 Most Important Questions to Ask
• When Should Dad Go to a Nursing Home?
• How to Talk About Your Fibromyalgia Diagnosis With Those You Love

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Browse more books by Dede Bonner, Ph.D., “The Question Doctor”

Not long ago, I was running past a grade school. It was a warm late spring day, and the kids were out on recess. They were busy playing tag, chasing balls, and just doing what kids do best, running around. I stopped to take a swig of water from my bottle, and as I watched the flurry of little legs, I was reminded once again why I love to watch kids run. Every one of them had perfect running form: a nice lean, a great stride opening up behind them, heels high in the air, relaxed arm swing and shoulders. They had it all!

One of my biggest desires as a coach is to help adults learn to run the ways they did as kids. It’s such a natural movement when kids do it. It looks so effortless and joyful. Many books about running tell you to just go out and run like you did as a kid. There’s only one problem with that suggestion: you don’t have the same body today that you did back then. If you do, I’d like you to be my teacher.

So why don’t adults run like kids, with that same ease and joyfulness? After running for thirty years and working with thousands of runners, I’d have to say that the two biggest factors are stress and tension. I can speak for myself, and maybe you can relate. Since I left the sixth grade, I have put my body through a wide range of physical and emotional stresses, such as tightening my shoulders when I’m worried, slouching all day at my desk, holding tension in my neck while driving — the list is endless. Individually, these might not sound like a big deal, but when you add them up over a lifetime, they have a major cumulative effect on how you move. I’ve also done a few radical things that have taken a bit more of a toll on my body, like skiing off cliffs and doing face plants while snowboarding. As Caroline Myss, author of Anatomy of the Spirit would say, “Your biography becomes your biology.” With all this abuse stored in my body, I’d be hard pressed to run the way I did as a kid. The good news is that for anyone with a little patience and perseverance, it is possible to get back to that state.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Danny Dreyer, author of ChiRunning: A Revolutionary Approach to Effortless, Injury-Free Running (Copyright © 2004 by Danny Dreyer), is an esteemed running and walking coach and accomplished ultra marathon runner, finishing in the top three in his division in thirty-nine ultra marathons. He is an international speaker, and has been seen on CNN, NBC News, and the Discovery Channel, and has been covered in Runner’s World and Running Times.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• How to Make the Most of Your Time on a Treadmill

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to ChiRunning: A Revolutionary Approach to Effortless, Injury-Free Running
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Browse more books by Danny Dreyer
• “How to Make the Most of Your Time on a Treadmill” by Danny Dreyer

Water is an infinitely precious yet finite resource. Just ask anyone whose water comes from a private well or who has lived through a drought. There was a severe drought while I was growing up in California. We all learned to wash using a minimum of water and consequently less soap. “Drought washing” is much easier on the environment than the water-wasteful kinds, and I think it is far less disgusting than washing dishes in a sinkful of greasy, scummy water.

The Hand Washing Technique
The perfect sink for hand dishwashing has a big, deep, single bowl and built-in drain boards on both sides. Most double sinks are annoyingly small and cannot accommodate large roasting pans or long-handled skillets.

The perfect hands for manual dishwashing are clad in rubber gloves.

1. Keep greasy pots and pans away from dishes. Greasy dishes are much harder to wash than nongreasy ones, and why make more work for yourself? You can put hot water and dish soap in the greasy pots and pans and let them soak on the stove until you’re ready to tackle them.

Filling a sink with soapy water to wash dishes is wasteful as well as inefficient. Not all the dishes used at a meal will be equally dirty, but if they soak in a sink together, the dirty dishes get a little cleaner, while the nearly clean dishes get a lot dirtier.

If your water is really hard, letting the dishes soak in the sink can get truly disgusting. A sink full of mineral-laden water, dishes, and dish soap can congeal overnight into a sink full of greasy, gelatinous scum.

2. To remove a hardened, burned-on crust from a pot or pan, fill it with a solution of 2 tablespoons baking soda per quart of water and bring to a boil. Turn off the heat and let the pan cool. The carbonized crust will lift right off.

To clean burned crust out of a large roasting pan or glass baking dish that cannot be heated on top of the stove, pour in the baking soda solution and heat the pan in a 350 degree oven. When the water begins to steam, turn off and let the pan cool.

3. If you have somewhere to stack your dirty dishes other than in the sink, do so.

4. Scrub your sink with a clean, soapy dishrag.

5. Put all your dirty cutlery in the sink, run hot water on the dishcloth, then squirt some dish soap (preferably organic) on the dishcloth.

6. Scrub the cutlery pieces and stack them in a corner of the sink or in a rinse basket. When all the cutlery is scrubbed, rinse it with hot tap water and put it in the dish drying rack. (Researchers who have studied these things have concluded that air-dried dishes are far more sanitary than dishes that have been dried with a towel. Air-drying is also, perhaps not coincidentally, less work.)

7. Next, start washing dishes, taking them off the counter, or wherever they are stacked; wash them with a soapy dishcloth, and stack them in the sink.

8. When your sudsy stack reaches the top of the sink or you’ve washed all the dishes (whichever comes first), rinse the dishes with hot water and put them in the dish drainer.

9. After the dishes are clean, wash the glasses and stack them in the sink. Rinse them off and put them in the dish drainer.

10. After you have washed all the dishes, you can start washing the pots and pans. They have been soaking awhile by this time, and should be a little easier to tackle.

About the Author
Ellen Sandbeck, the author of Green Housekeeping (Copyright © 2006 by Ellen Sandbeck) and Green Barbarians, is an organic landscaper, worm wrangler, writer, and graphic artist who lives with (and experiments on) her husband and an assortment of younger creatures — which includes two mostly grown children, a couple of dogs, a small flock of laying hens, and many thousands of composting worms — in Duluth, Minnesota.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 11 Tips for Dealing With Your Piles of Papers
• First, Get Rid of the Clutter! Organizing with Everyday Objects
• Home, Sweet-Smelling Home: 14 Easy Tips
• How to Disinfect Your Home — Naturally

Learn More

• Read the Introduction to Green Housekeeping
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Learn more about the author
• Read the Introduction to Green Barbarians: Live Bravely on Your Home Planet also by Ellen Sandbeck

“0 grams trans fat!” boasts the label of many margarines, crackers, and other packaged foods. But is it really free of this artery-clogging fat? Turn the package around, and indeed, you’ll see a “0 g” after “trans fat” on the nutrition facts panel. But that still doesn’t mean the product is truly trans fat–free. Due to a legal loophole in food labeling, a product can state “0 g trans fat” and still contain nearly half a gram (up to 0.49 grams) per serving. Even 1 or 2 grams daily can harm your health, and you can see how quickly a few half grams can add up.

Fortunately, the ingredients list doesn’t lie; if it contains any type of partially hydrogenated oil, the product has trans fat. Because you can’t tell from the label exactly how much a product may contain, it’s best to opt for a brand that contains no partially hydrogenated oil.

And remember, just because a product has no partially hydrogenated oil or trans fat doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Some manufacturers are simply replacing that type of oil with palm oil, which is high in saturated fat. Or they’re using “hydrogenated” or “fully hydrogenated” oil, which does not contain trans fat but, depending on the oil, could be high in saturated fat. So compare labels of similar products and choose those that are not only free of partially hydrogenated oil but also lower in saturated fat (and sodium, while you’re at it).

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Bob Greene, author of The Best Life Guide to Managing Diabetes and Pre-Diabetes (Copyright © 2009 by Bestlife Corporation), is an exercise physiologist and certified personal trainer specializing in fitness, metabolism, and weight loss. He holds a master’s degree from the University of Arizona and is a member of the American College of Sports Medicine and the American Council on Exercise. Bob has been a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show and is the bestselling author of The Best Life Diet Cookbook; The Best Life Diet, Revised and Updated; The Best Life Diet Daily Journal; Bob Greene’s Total Body Makeover; and more.

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The Best Life Guide to Managing Diabetes and Pre-Diabetes
• Watch the video: Bob Green on his bestselling book
• Browse more books by the author
  

Doing these exercises, which concentrate on the upper body and core, every day for thirty days will lead to visible results — they are all you need to pull off that strapless dress or figure-hugging outfit.

I recommend that everyone have two- or three-pound weights at home. You should also have one of those rubber stretch bands with handles on both ends, and a big exercise ball. Keep them close by and do the following exercises while you are sitting at the computer or watching television.

Weights: the key to long, lean muscles and not bulking up is to use only two- or three-pound weights. I do three sets of 15 to 20 repetitions, and experiment with working the various muscles — pectoral muscles, biceps, and triceps. One of my favorite moves is to hold my arms straight out at shoulder level and lift them straight up over my head and down to my sides to work my entire upper body.

Band: work your pectorals, abs, and arms by holding each handle of the band and stretching it outward at chest level. Pull it out as far as you can, and then release it very slowly, controlling the motion. Do the same motion with the band behind your back at shoulder level.

Work the triceps and biceps by holding one end of the strap over your head with the other hand holding the strap between your shoulder blades. Extend the front arm straight up as far as you can, while pulling the back hand down your back.

Exercise ball: you can do sit-ups and curls, push-ups, and leg lifts with this one piece of equipment. Work your butt by draping your back over the ball with your hands and feet touching the floor. Slowly raise yourself off the ball and squeeze your butt muscles as many times as you can.

Sounds pretty easy, right? It is! And I know that once you start seeing the results you’ll want to keep going and building on your routine. You don’t have to spend hours in a gym or studio to move your body, and the equipment that you need to set up your own at-home fitness area is easy to stow under a bed and inexpensive to purchase. Trust me, every minute and every penny you spend on fitness is well worth the investment.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lisa Rinna, the author of Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever (Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Rinna), is an award-winning actress and television host, best known for her roles on Days of Our Lives and Melrose Place, as well as her co-hosting duties on Soap Talk, her appearances on Dancing with the Stars, and her red-carpet interviews on the TV Guide Network. She is the creator of a line of dance-themed exercise DVDs called Lisa Rinna Dance Body Beautiful, and she runs her own successful boutique, Belle Gray, with her husband, actor Harry Hamlin, with whom she has two daughters, Delilah and Amelia.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 7 Dynamite Drinks for Revving Up Metabolism and Boosting Energy
• 11 Fab Foods You Should Be Eating

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever
• Watch a slideshow of photos from the book

To preempt the immediate eating that is literally a “gut reaction” to emotion, our clients and patients have found the Four Ds helpful.

• Deep breathing: Take ten slow, deep breaths in succession: breathe in to a count of ten, hold for a count of ten, and breathe out slowly to a count of ten.
• Delay: Wait at least ten minutes before eating; then see if you still feel like eating.
• Drink water, coffee, or tea: Have a glass of water or drink something hot, such as tea or coffee. Drinking helps satisfy the desire to eat.
• Distraction: Tailor your distractions to the source of the emotion. If it’s stress that habitually makes you eat, schedule a “worry time”, or do a mechanical task such as pulling weeds or trimming shrubs to help clear your mind. If it’s boredom, commit to a new and stimulating objective. If it’s loneliness, call a friend or volunteer at a shelter or library. If you’re angry, get physical and go for a brisk walk or clean a closet. Make a list of enjoyable or mechanical distractions you can do instead of eating, such as listening to music, gardening, doing laundry, playing your guitar or piano, cooking a meal for a sick friend, playing with a pet, or sending or answering e-mail.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Dr. Susan Mitchell and Dr. Catherine Christie are the authors of Fat is Not Your Fate: Outsmart Your Genes and Lose the Weight Forever (Copyright © 2005 by Dr. Susan Mitchell and Dr. Catherine Christie), I’d Kill for a Cookie, and Eat to Stay Young. Dr. Mitchell, a registered dietitian, certified nutrition specialist, and fellow of the American Dietetic Association, has appeared on Today, CNN, and the TV Food Network. Dr. Christie, also a registered dietitian and certified nutrition specialist, is a fellow of the American Dietetic Association and president of the Florida Dietetic Association.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 6 Things That Can Derail Your Diet
• 60+ Healthy Foods for When You Have No Time to Eat

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Fat Is Not Your Fate: Outsmart Your Genes and Lose the Weight Forever
• See the book’s Table of Contents

Only relatively recently have researchers and clinicians begun to examine the roles that significant people in a depressed person’s life play in the onset and course of depression. And we have learned quite a bit about the social lives of depressed people. What follows are just some of the findings.

Depressed people tend to have:

• Fewer friends and smaller social networks
• More conflict in their relationships with others
• Less support from others
• Fewer and less well-developed social skills
• Fewer close relationships
• Less rewarding relationships
• Fewer social contacts
• More marital problems and more family arguments
• More pessimism about the future of their relationships

Such findings make a strong case for the negative consequences of depression on relationships with others.

Other people can be mysterious and cause you pain. And, other people can be wonderful and bring you joy. What you find in others, no matter what your background might be, will ultimately be a reflection of you.

There’s a wonderful old story of a man walking a very long road from one village to another. At the outskirts of the new village he encountered a farmer laboring in his field, cutting hay. He said to the farmer, “I have walked a great distance to come to this village of yours. I have left my village looking for a new home, perhaps I will find it here. Tell me, how are the people in this village? What kind of people are they?” The man in the field thought a moment, then asked, “What were the people like in the village you came from?” The traveler replied, “They were uncaring, self-absorbed, cynical, and unfriendly. That’s why I left.” The farmer paused before replying and then said, “I think that’s how you’ll find the people here, too.” The traveler replied, “In that case, I’ll just move on and look somewhere else.” A couple of days later, the farmer was again out in his field when another man approached him and said, “My village was destroyed and the people scattered. I am looking to find myself a new home, perhaps in this village. Can you tell me, how are the people in this village? What kind of people are they?” The farmer asked, “What were the people like in your village?” The traveler replied, “They were wonderful people. Loving, close, helpful, and I will miss them terribly.” The farmer said, “I think that’s how you’ll find the people here, too.”

How do other people perceive depressed people? How do they perceive you? How does that exacerbate depression? The answers to these questions lie at the heart of the treatments I will recommend and the skills I will encourage you to develop through this book.

Another well-researched form of psychotherapy called interpersonal therapy (IPT) emphasizes the importance of having positive and healthy relationships and provides skill-building strategies for developing them. There is good evidence that when people improve their relationship skills, their depression improves. When people feel better about themselves, they get better feedback from the world around them. They feel empowered instead of victimized, and they finally feel like they are a part of something more compelling than themselves and their depression.

Rethinking Treatment for Depression
As we observe social conditions around us, including the fragmenting of families and society, we can see that relationships have clearly taken a beating. The divorce rate continues to be high, the length of the average dating relationship is measured in weeks, more people live alone than ever before, and people generally report feeling more cynical about other people. When people feel isolated, devalued, and expendable, it’s hard to feel good.

Let’s rethink treatment. Our predominant form of treatment, antidepressant medication, is itself a reflection of the larger problem. Let’s start to consider how your hurtful circumstances, whether self-generated or not, affect you and your outlook. Instead of taking a pill, take the time to be insightful and proactive in developing skills that will help you to live better. Don’t just “wait for the medication to work.” If you are withdrawn and unhappy, you can start to connect to others in meaningful ways.

Pause and Reflect: How’s Your Social Life?
Take another look at the general findings above. How many apply to you personally? How powerful a force in your own depression are the relationships in your life?

When other people are a primary source of distress in your life, when you find yourself getting hurt by other people in one way or another on a regular basis, or when you “just don’t get other people,” Depression Is Contagious will help you get connected to others in ways that can make a positive difference.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D., author of Depression Is Contagious (Copyright © 2009 by Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D.), is a clinical psychologist and internationally recognized expert who lectures widely on depression, psychotherapy, and clinical hypnosis. He is the author of ten books, including Breaking the Patterns of Depression, Hand-Me-Down Blues, and Suggestions of Abuse. He lives with his wife, Diane, in Fallbrook, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Are You Depressed?
• Are Your Expectations Out of Line With Reality?
• Depression Is Contagious

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Depression Is Contagious: How the Most Common Mood Disorder Is Spreading Around the World and How to Stop It
• Watch a video with the author

We live in a society where families go out for meals at restaurants just as much as, if not more than, they eat at home. Eating out, though endlessly fun, can have negative effects on your family’s nutrition because you don’t always know how your meals are being prepared and what is going in them, and because we tend to order things on menus that are less healthy than the kinds of foods we would make for ourselves at home. But if you know you are the kind of family that will inevitably eat out at restaurants a lot, there are small changes your family can make to help keep your restaurant experiences both clean and healthy. It is your job as parents to make sure your kids are well informed about healthy choices versus unhealthy ones, so that when a menu is handed to them, they are already poised to make the right selection.

It is important to teach kids about the nature of “indulgence,” and the art of balance and moderation when it comes to eating what they like. As much as we want our children to use wisdom and awareness about what they consume, we also want them to enjoy their experience of eating and food, and even revel in some of their favorite tastes and flavors. Eating out is a perfect opportunity to practice this balance as a group, so you should take advantage of these moments to teach everyone about the merits of holding back, alongside the joys of treating oneself.

Here are some basic rules that we like to live by when we go out to eat; we talk about them with our kids, so that the joy of dining out is never taken for granted, and the awareness about food is always present. Let’s take a look.

Restaurant Rules 101

• Avoid anything fried or breaded.
• Avoid eating too much (or any) bread before the meal; we sometimes even tell the waiter not to bring any to the table, which helps keep temptation at bay. Frankly, if you’re about to consume an entire meal, you certainly don’t need to fill up on bread, which is usually white bread anyway. Be warned.
• If you’re going to order appetizers, try to keep them salads and veggies. The last thing you need is a meal on top of another meal.
• Sharing is caring, and we love to use the sharing rule when we go out to eat. Restaurant portions are often huge, especially for kids, so sharing main courses is a practical (and economical) way to not waste food (and money). It’s also a great way to try various things at once.
• Avoid “kiddie menus,” which are usually replete with fried foods like chicken fingers and mozzarella sticks. Instead, make it a game with your kids to identify the healthiest options, even if these happen to be on the grown-up menu, and encourage your children to think like adults when it comes to ordering their food.
• Avoid ordering soft drinks, and instead opt for water all around.
• Avoid adding salt to your meal, as this is typically not something restaurant chefs hold back on in the kitchen.
• Encourage your kids to find the lean protein on the menu, and look for the vegetable sides that they might like.
• Avoid ordering dessert, and instead suggest that you all eat some fruit together when you get home—if anyone even has an appetite by then.

Stop ! In the Name of Health: Portion Control
There is an expression that says the eyes are bigger than the stomach. We often eat with our eyes, serving ourselves more than we can actually fit into our stomachs. Our society celebrates abundance, and we, little pigs that we can tend to be, indulge the bad habit by overestimating our own capacities. To keep this weakness in check, something that we like to practice is the “stop when you are full” rule; meaning, actually pause to feel the sensation of a having a full belly, take a few deep breaths, and honestly ask yourself, Am I full? And if the answer is yes, stop eating. Teach your kids to connect with their bodies by encouraging them to develop this healthy awareness, and you will be simultaneously teaching them about the merits of self-control and physical connectedness as well as the adverse effects of gluttony and even greed.

Teach your children that they do not have to eat until their little tummies feel on the brink of exploding. Explain to them that, though many people love to insist, you don’t have to eat everything on your plate. Portions are usually way larger than one human needs to eat in one sitting, so there is nothing wrong with eating only what you need to feel satiated. Another thing you can teach them is the “twenty-minute rule,” which says that you should wait twenty minutes before serving yourself more food, as twenty minutes give the belly a chance to settle in with new food and therefore make it better able to assess if it really wants or needs any more at all.

Here are some basic measurement guidelines, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Children 2 to 3 years old should consume no more than 1,000 calories each day; girls 4 to 8 should consume about 1,200 and boys of the same age 1,400. Girls between 9 and 13 should get about 1,600 calories daily and boys 1,800. Girls 14 to 18 should aim for approximately 1,800 and boys should shoot for around 2,200. For adults, men need about 2,700 calories per day, and women require about 2,000 calories per day. These calories should include:

2 to 5 ounces of lean meat or beans
1 to 2 cups of fruit
1 to 3 cups of vegetables
2 to 7 ounces of whole grains

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Jorge Posada is an all-star catcher for the New York Yankees. Laura Posada is an attorney, a certified personal trainer, and CEO of Laura Posada, LLC. The couple lives with their two children, Jorge Luis and Paulina, in New York City. They are the authors of Fit Home Team: The Posada Family Guide to Health, Exercise, and Nutrition the Inexpensive and Simple Way (Copyright © 2009 by Jorge Posada and Laura Posada).

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• 7 Ways to Shrink the Sugar in Your Kids’ Diet
• 18 Ways to Turn Your Kids Onto Healthier Eating
• How to Keep Your Kids Moving During the Winter

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Fit Home Team: The Posada Family Guide to Health, Exercise, and Nutrition the Inexpensive and Simple Way
• Browse more books by Jorge Posada

After I joked about coming up with a list of the Top Ten Things Not to Say to Someone with Breast Cancer, I read an article from a wife who lost her husband in the 9/11 tragedy. She had put together a similar list for those who have encountered the loss of a loved one for the same reason I finally did: people are clueless.

Here is my version specific for breast cancer, and hopefully the Lord gives you courage to share it with those well-meaning people who really don’t know what to say or do. They will be grateful. Some people actually avoid us just because they are afraid they will put their foot in their mouth or because words escape them. In their desire to prevent hurt, they create it. We feel alone and abandoned because others are uncomfortable around us. Try using this list. (I expanded the list to the Top Thirteen, then added thirteen do’s, as well.)

DON’T…
1. Talk about people you know with breast cancer. Good or bad stories are not helpful.
DO…
1. Let me talk about mine and listen.
DON’T…
2. Tell me God is in control, has a plan, or knew it was going to happen.
DO…
2. Just show me the love of God.

DON’T…
3. Say “I’ll pray for you” unless you mean it. I will be counting on those prayers.
DO…
3. Pray for and with me.

DON’T…
4. Say, “Call me if you need anything.” I don’t know what you are willing to do and might be too sick or sad to pick up the phone.
DO…
4. Offer to do something specific; then do it.

DON’T…
5. Look at me like I am dying. I can read your body language and eyes, and it scares me.
DO…
5. Show genuine compassion and concern.

DON’T…
6. Avoid me. It makes me feel rejected, different.
DO…
6. Keep normal contact with me.

DON’T…
7. Act like nothing is happening, minimize my situation, or compare me with someone else.
DO…
7. Take your cue from me as to how comfortable I am talking about it.

DON’T…
8. Tell others, unless you have asked if it is OK.
DO…
8. Ask me if it is OK to tell others, and honor my wishes.

DON’T…
9. Feel bad if I can’t return phone calls or cards.
DO…
9. Keep calling and leave a message. I love to hear your voice and look forward to the mail.

DON’T…
10. Be resentful of how my illness affects you.
DO…
10. Help me learn to live with my “new normal” that might also change my life.

DON’T…
11. Forget about me after the initial flurry of the diagnosis. This will be a long haul, and I need you.
DO…
11. Let me grieve, and understand that takes time. Stick with me.

DON’T…
12. Feel you have to say you “understand” how I feel. If you have not had breast cancer yourself,
you don’t understand.
DO…
12. Let me talk without trying to fix it or feel you have to comment. I might just need a listening ear.

DON’T…
13. Ask me questions like, Are you having them both taken off ? Or on both sides? In fact, don’t ask me any personal questions about my condition.
DO…
13. Let me tell you what I am comfortable saying. Keep your curiosity curtailed. I will tell you what I want you to know right now.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Janet Thompson, author of Dear God They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey (Copyright © 2006 by Janet Thompson), quit her secular career to go into full-time lay ministry, starting the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. She is the founder and director of About His Work Ministries, also known as AHW Ministries, and is a frequent speaker on topics relevant to today’s Christian women. Janet has authored several products for her Woman to Woman ministry, including Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. Janet and her husband, Dave, have four married children and nine grandchildren. They make their home in Lake Forest, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Adjusting to a New Normal When You Have Cancer
• Talking to Children About Cancer
• What Breast Cancer Patients Should Know About Prosthesis

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey
• See the book’s Table of Contents

Once you decide how much you have to spend on family building, the next decision is how to find the best and most cost-effective medical care. We are going to walk you through all the steps to help you be your own best advocate. We’ll give you plenty of valuable advice about how to best prepare yourself for the financial challenges you will encounter. You have a lot to consider, and with appropriate planning, you will be able to have a baby.

Five Things You Can Do Right Now
1. Gather all of your pay stubs and records of other sources of income.
2. List your expenses.
3. Create a budget and commit to living by it.
4. Decide how much money you are willing and able to allocate for family building.
5. Consider how you will divide and allocate your financial resources.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Evelina Weidman Sterling, Ph.D. is a nationally-recognized public health researcher and educator specializing in fertility and women’s health issues. Angie Best-Boss is a writer whose articles on women’s health and infertility have appeared in dozens of both online and print resources. They are the authors Budgeting for Infertility: How to Bring Home a Baby Without Breaking the Bank (Copyright © 2009 by Evelina Weidman Sterling and Angie Best-Boss). Visit them at www.myfertilityplan.com.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• How Much Do Infertility Treatments Cost?

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 from Budgeting for Infertility: How to Bring Home a Baby Without Breaking the Bank
• Browse more articles about women’s health

1. Are you board certified? What are your other medical credentials?
Board certification matters.

Board certification assures you that the doctor has passed the requirements of certification for her specialty. In the United States, medical specialty certification is voluntary. Doctors receive their medical licenses after completing medical school. But to be a specialist like a neurologist, the doctor does additional training called a residency. After completing the residency training, a doctor can apply for certification by a specialty board.

Successful completion of the examinations to complete board certification demonstrates a doctor’s exceptional expertise and her dedication to a rigorous, voluntary commitment to lifelong learning. This is especially important with Alzheimer’s disease because doctors need to stay current with the fast- moving research advances in this field. To maintain board certification, doctors must complete yearly training and take periodic exams to demonstrate their ongoing competency. Use the search services of the American Board of Medical Specialties (http://www.abms.org) to check for a specific doctor’s certification.

A valid state license is also very important. Go to the American Medical Association’s Web site (http://www.ama-assn.org/) and click on your state for specific information about a doctor you are considering. Links to state boards are available at http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/education-careers/becoming-physician/medical-licensure/state-medical-boards.shtml.

Checking on past disciplinary actions and malpractice suits is tougher because most medical professionals don’t readily disclose unclean histories. See ChoiceTrust (https://www.choicetrust.com) or HealthGrades (http://www.healthgrades.com), two comprehensive Web sites that charge a small fee for their searchable services. Other sources for checking on prior complaints or disciplinary actions are free at Administrators in Medicine (http://docboard.org) and Health Care Choices (http://www.healthcarechoices.org).

2. What is your experience with Alzheimer’s patients? How many Alzheimer’s patients did you see during the past twelve months?
Experience matters, too. The number of years of total medical practice is significant, along with the years of specialized practice a doctor has in treating Alzheimer’s disease.

It’s very important to determine a doctor’s prior experience with Alzheimer’s. One way to determine a doctor’s specialized expertise is to ask this follow-up question: “What percentage of your practice is devoted to treating Alzheimer’s patients?” The higher the better. You also want to ask, “How many total times have you treated Alzheimer’s disease?” (Alzheimer’s disease was rarely diagnosed correctly before the mid-1980s.)

If you live in a rural community or have limited access to specialized care centers, doctors will naturally have lower yearly numbers. In this case, ask this Best Question as a percentage of this doctor’s total practice, like, “What percentage of your patients are Alzheimer’s cases?” in addition to getting a total number.

A good bedside manner can be very comforting. But don’t choose a doctor based on his personality alone. A doctor’s personality should be your secondary — not the primary — consideration in making your choice.

3. May I speak to at least one of your patients to see how he or she made out in these same circumstances?
This Best Question was suggested by former Surgeon General Dr. C. Everett Koop. He believes it’s very important to follow through on patient referrals.

Asking for a referral is more common than you might think. Chapter 2 [of The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s] gives you specific Best Questions for getting highly reliable referrals.

4. Which hospitals are you affiliated with?
Although early stage Alzheimer’s patients rarely need hospitalization (except for treating other medical conditions), this answer could be very important later.

You have two choices. You can choose your doctor first and then go with the hospital where she has admitting privileges. Or you can choose the hospital or Alzheimer’s facility first and then find a top doctor there.

In the second scenario you are focused on the facility’s expertise or reputation first over an individual doctor’s skills. Either way, ask this follow-up question; “What is the accreditation status of this medical facility?” See The Joint Commission’s Web site (www.jointcommission.org/) for more on accreditation.

5. Are you affiliated with any medical schools?
A teaching affiliation with a prestigious medical school is the gold standard when looking for a top specialist. It’s a fairly reliable indicator that a doctor is considered by her peers to be a leader in the Alzheimer’s field.

Academic doctors who also practice medicine are likely to be the most well informed about the latest in Alzheimer’s research, diagnostic tools, and treatments and they will keep current through frequent contacts with their medical colleagues.

6. Are you involved with any ongoing research projects or clinical trials on Alzheimer’s disease?
Experts suggest that you look for doctors who have written about AD and whose work is often cited in medical journals.

If a doctor you are considering has been published, ask for copies of those articles. Even if the articles are full of jargon or boring, you can learn a lot about this doctor’s interests and approach to treating Alzheimer’s. Go to PubMed Central (http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov) for a free archive of medical journal abstracts.

7. Are you part of a team that holds regular meetings to discuss patients’ cases and treatments?
Doctors often emphasize how important a multidisciplinary team behind the scenes is for ensuring quality patient care, accurate diagnoses, and effective treatment plans. More heads are better than one in making accurate and well-informed diagnoses and providing better patient care.

Doctors practicing in teaching hospitals or large Alzheimer’s centers are more likely to be part of a team. Not having this team approach isn’t necessarily a deal breaker, but it’s good if you can get it.

8. How will you keep my family involved in care decisions? Do you offer support services and more information about Alzheimer’s disease?
The doctor’s answer to this question will give you a great insight into how patient centered and family centered she really is. You want a doctor who considers you and your family as unique individuals.

If you have choices, go to a doctor who offers support services, such as specially trained geriatric nurses, physical therapists, nutritionists, and family counselors. At later stages you’ll have these other needs for which a family-centered specialist can be a godsend.

The best doctors are also good teachers at heart. As retired acting Surgeon General Rear Admiral Dr. Kenneth P. Moritsugu comments, “When the doctor seeks to educate the patient, they are not merely engaging in a two-way conversation. Rather, the doctor is taking it beyond the conversation in order to teach the patient about medical options and how to take control of his or her own health and well-being.”

9. Please describe your preferences for communicating with your patients.
Communication obstacles rank high on patients’ list of complaints. Most people highly value how well a doctor communicates with both the patient and his family, especially since Alzheimer’s primary caregivers are so directly and personally involved with the patient’s well-being.

10. Who covers for you when you aren’t available or are on vacation?
This is another question that most patients don’t think to ask until they can’t reach their doctor when they need to.

Be sure that your doctor tells you how she will communicate with you if unanticipated problems come up or when she’s unavailable or on vacation. A follow-up question is to ask how (calls or e-mails) and when (best times of day) she can be reached.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dede Bonner, Ph.D., aka “The Question Doctor” and author of The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s (Copyright © 2008 by 10 Best Questions LLC), specializes in creative breakthrough and money-saving Best Questions for corporate clients and CEOs. She is on the graduate business faculty of Curtin University in Perth, Western Australia, and is an internationally acclaimed expert in questioning skills and management. A former political analyst for the federal government, Dr. Bonner is the owner of New Century Management, Inc, and 10 Best Questions, LLC. She has a doctorate of education in executive leadership.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 10 Questions to Ask if Your Spouse Has Been Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease
• How Do I Find Help for My Parent With Alzheimer’s Disease?: The 10 Most Important Questions to Ask
• How to Spot a Bad Nursing Home: The 10 Questions You Should Ask
• When Should Dad Go to a Nursing Home?
• How to Talk About Your Fibromyalgia Diagnosis With Those You Love

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Browse more books by Dede Bonner, Ph.D., “The Question Doctor”

Many of my clients eat five or six 250- to 300-calorie mini-meals every two or three hours, including before or after a workout. By eating every several hours, their blood sugar stays steady and they never feel hungry. Women over 40 add that mini-meals seem to control bloating and weight gain.

I favor grazing, as long as you keep your mini-meals truly mini. If they start to inch toward maxi, you may eat more calories than you need and actually gain weight.

I asked my clients who favor grazing throughout the day for a few of their favorite mini-meals. Try one, try them all.

Sweet minis

• Top a whole-grain frozen waffle with 1 tablespoon natural peanut butter and 1 medium sliced banana.
• Mix 1/2 cup cottage cheese with 1/4 cup whole-grain cereal; top with 1/4 cup fresh berries.
• Stir 1 small handful sliced natural almonds into 1 cup low-fat fruit yogurt.
• Peel a medium banana, then split it lengthwise. Spread with 1 tablespoon natural peanut butter and drizzle with 1 tablespoon chocolate syrup.
• Spread 1 slice whole-grain bread with 1 tablespoon natural almond butter and 1 teaspoon honey or sugar-free jam.
• Spoon a dollop of low-fat fruit yogurt on 1/2 cup fruit salad; top with 1 tablespoon chopped walnuts.

Savory minis

• Sauté 2 egg whites in a nonstick pan, top with 1/2 ounce reduced-fat cheese, and wrap in a small whole-wheat tortilla.
• Stuff half a whole-wheat pita with 3 ounces smoked turkey breast and a few leaves of lettuce or spinach. Drizzle with olive oil and vinegar.
• Top 1 cup mixed greens with 3 ounces grilled chicken; drizzle with 1 tablespoon nonfat dressing, and wrap in a whole-wheat tortilla.
• Top a whole-grain English muffin with 1/4 cup pasta sauce and 1 ounce part-skim shredded mozzarella. Pop it under the broiler until the cheese melts.
• Combine 2/3 cup cooked brown rice with 1/2 cup canned black beans and 1 tablespoon lime juice; top with 1/4 cup low-fat cheddar. Microwave for 1 minute on medium.
• Mix 2 ounces canned tuna (packed in water; drained) with 2 tablespoons fresh, mashed avocado. Scoop onto 10 bagel chips.
• Microwave a medium potato for 10 minutes on medium setting. Slice open lengthwise and top with 2 tablespoons salsa and 1/4 cup shredded reduced fat cheese.
• Spread 2 tablespoons fat-free black bean dip, 1/4 cup shredded reduced-fat cheese, and 2 tablespoons salsa on a whole-wheat tortilla. Bake for 10 minutes in a 400-degree oven. Add 1/4 cup shredded romaine. Roll up and enjoy with extra salsa on the side.
• Microwave a whole-wheat pita for 1 minute on medium. Cut into triangles and spread with 2 tablespoons store-bought hummus.
• Spread 1/2 small whole-wheat pita with mustard; top with 2 thin slices of deli-sliced turkey breast, cucumber, and sliced tomato.
• Top 1/2 whole-wheat English muffin with 1 ounce reduced-fat mozzarella, green bell pepper, and tomato slices.
• Top 1 slice whole-wheat toast with 1 scrambled egg and 1 slice turkey bacon.
• Layer 2 slices deli-sliced chicken breast or ham, tomato slices, and lettuce on a whole-wheat tortilla. Top with a thin slice of avocado and 1 tablespoon salsa.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Chris Robinson, the author of Core Connection: Go from Fat to Flat by Using Your Abs for a Total Body Workout (Copyright © 2009 by Chris Robinson), is an elite personal trainer whose clients include celebrities, athletes, and top executives on both coasts. A lifelong athlete, Robinson is a two-time Muay Thai kickboxing champion and ran track and field at San Diego State University, where he earned a degree in kinesiology. He is also a certified Pilates instructor, and studied with the legendary Romana Kryszanowska, who learned the craft from Joseph Pilates himself. Robinson is the founder and president of Core Coach Center, Inc.™ (www.corecoach.net), based in La Jolla, California.

LEARN MORE

• Learn more about The Core Connection by Chris Robinson
• Browse more articles about healthy eating
• Browse articles about losing weight

• Why heat an empty house? Lower the thermostat when your family is out during the day — try 65 degrees or so — and bring the heat back up in the evening. If you lower the temperature when everybody is toasty warm in bed, you’ll cut your bill even further. A double setback thermostat can adjust the temperature according to your needs. It’s well worth the money.
• Moist air retains heat, so invest in a humidifier (or adapt your existing heating system) and you could lower your thermostat by another 3 or 4 degrees. That can save you up to 12 percent on your heating bill!
• A gas-fired heating system should be professionally cleaned and serviced at least once a year to keep it working at maximum efficiency. Oil-fired systems should be cleaned and serviced twice a year. Those of you who have had the misfortune of a furnace backup know I’m giving you good advice. Cleaner is better.
• Shut the dishwasher off at the dry cycle and allow dishes to air-dry with the door partially open.
• Just cooked a nice roast dinner? Leave the door open a crack (once you’ve turned off the oven, that is), and let the heat warm the room as the oven cools. Don’t do this if you have young children — nothing is worth the potential burn.
• Keep radiators, registers, and ducts clean. Vacuum with the duster brush attachment; for hard to reach spots use a telescoping duster. Make sure they’re clear of debris and free from obstructions, such as furniture and draperies.
• Replace furnace filters frequently. A clean filter will distribute heat more efficiently. Check filters monthly, say the first of every month. Vacuum to remove dust, and replace filters when vacuuming alone won’t get the filter clean. Disposable filters should be replaced at least every three months.
• Heat can escape through air conditioners, so store yours if you can. If that’s not possible, do your best to winterize the unit. Cover the outside of the a/c with cardboard cut to size, and then wrap it in a heavy-duty plastic. Drop cloths and plastic tablecloths are ideal. Secure the covering with a bungee cord, making sure to avoid corner flaps that might tear in the wind.
• Conserve energy in winter and summer by adjusting the rotation of your ceiling fan. A counterclockwise rotation will push the hot air from the ceiling down into the room — perfect for winter. A clockwise rotation will pull up the warm summer air and replace it with a nice, cool flow.
• Conserve water by taking showers instead of baths. The average bath uses 25 gallons of water, whereas the average shower just 10 gallons.
• Don’t leave water running while you brush your teeth. Turn it off until you’re ready to rinse.
• That “small load” setting may save water, but the washing machine still goes through the same number of rotations. Avoid washing small loads if you can.
• Whenever possible, use cold or warm water for washing clothes. Always use cold water to rinse.
• Clean the lint filter on your clothes dryer each time you dry a load. Clothes will dry faster and more efficiently.
• That little black dress may be a hot number, but there’s no reason to keep it warm. Keep closet doors closed.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Linda Cobb, author of A Queen for All Seasons: A Year of Tips, Tricks, and Picks for a Cleaner House and a More Organized Life! (Copyright © 2001 by Linda Cobb), first shared her cleaning tips with readers in a weekly newspaper column in Michigan, where she owned a cleaning and disaster-restoration business dealing with the aftermath of fires and floods. After moving to Phoenix, she appeared weekly as a guest on Good Morning Arizona; since then she has shared her housekeeping tips on radio and television shows across the country, and in two New York Times bestsellers, Talking Dirty with the Queen of Clean® and Talking Dirty Laundry with the Queen of Clean®.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 24 No-Fuss, All-Natural Gardening Tips
• Make Your Own Laundry Spot and Stain Removers

LEARN MORE

• Read an excerpt from Talking Dirty with the Queen of Clean®, one of the author’s New York Times bestsellers
• Read an excerpt from The Queen of Clean Conquers Clutter
• Browse more books by Linda Cobb, the Queen of Clean

We didn’t have winters as kids in Puerto Rico; now that we do, we milk as many opportunities as possible to maximize them. We remember seeing snow for the first time when we were sixteen, and totally freaking out about it as some kind of natural miracle. It is! So, if you live in a place where it snows, get out there and enjoy it. Enjoy the marvel of the whole thing, and be grateful that you, unlike a lot of other people, get to touch it with your very own hands. Remember that winter is all about cozying up to your own warmth and turning inward, a time of reflection and inner heat.

Skiing and Snowboarding
If you live anywhere near the right topography and climate, it is pretty much your duty to introduce skiing and/or snowboarding to your kids. This idea is also great if you are trying to come up with a unique family vacation — one where everyone can be active and on. Snow sports expose children to an entirely different dimension of exercise and fitness and show them an aspect of nature that you can be certain they will appreciate. If you’re not sure whether to go with skiing or snowboarding, let your kids try both, and ask which appeals to them more. Usually a person feels more comfortable with one or the other, but the nice part of the plan is that skiers and snowboarders can all enjoy the same slopes. Maybe Mom and Sis ski, and Dad and the sons snowboard. Or vice versa! The point is that everyone can be together. There are facilities that offer reduced rates on certain days, or special family packages, so don’t let the high cost of this activity scare you and your family from being able to do it. For those who don’t enjoy downhill skiing, there is cross-country, which provides an incredible workout.

Sledding
In Puerto Rico we didn’t have snow, but that certainly did not stop us from sledding down the steep grassy knoll located on the fort in the old city of San Juan. We would throw ourselves down that slope full force, gliding down to the base of the hill with all of the freedom in the world. Sledding is a fully liberating activity that allows one to fully surrender — and also involves the climb back up the hill for the next run down. Make sure everyone is wearing protective gear, especially helmets, but get creative about what everyone can sled on. Garbage can lids work wonders!

Snowshoeing
If the snow is deep enough, snowshoeing is fun, if not funny. Strapped onto one’s feet, those awkward, giant snowshoes work the legs in a comprehensive way and keep everyone cracking up in the process!

Ice-skating
We recommend you learn ice-skating early, when it doesn’t hurt so much to fall on the ice, and when you are less afraid of such a fall. Kids are somehow freer on the ice, so take advantage of that, and expose them to it early. We say it from experience, because when we go ice-skating with our children, we are the ones who are scared and they are the ones cheering us on, which is a nice change. They can motivate you as much as you can motivate them. Don’t worry about genders here, because both can have fun on the ice. Boys may be inclined to play ice hockey as they get older, in which case ice-skating is something they will need to have mastered. Girls, on the other hand, might be inclined to practice figure skating. Either way, getting kids on ice early in life offers them more possibilities, and as they get older they will be more empowered to be selective about the hobbies and activities they choose for themselves. Also, ice-skating instills a sense of confidence, as well as poise.

Snowball Fights
When a fresh snow comes down and graces us with its vast white beauty, there is nothing more fun than engaging in an all-out, no-holds-barred snowball battle with the closest members of your family. Snowball fights, while endlessly mischievous and totally wild, also encourage arm strength, endurance, personal determination, and courage — so get on out into the fresh snow and declare snowball war!

Building Snowmen
Again, if you are lucky enough to get a weekend full of fresh snow, one of the most fun things you can do as a group is to build snow people. Build entire families of them, and really get creative. Make all kinds of funny tableau situations, and really have fun with how you accessorize your frosty friends. This gets all kinds of artful juices flowing but also works the arms and back with all of the digging and patting down of snow.

Snow Angels
This is an old favorite that never bores. Kids love it, and we cannot deny it, adults do just as much. There is nothing like throwing yourself, belly up, into a pile of fresh powder and flapping your extremities with abandon to create perfect angels of snow. Snow angels are little morsels of nostalgia; they are one of those ever-sweet bites of life that stay with you always and make you want to teach them to your kids.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Jorge Posada is an all-star catcher for the New York Yankees. Laura Posada is an attorney, a certified personal trainer, and CEO of Laura Posada, LLC. The couple lives with their two children, Jorge Luis and Paulina, in New York City. They are the authors of Fit Home Team: The Posada Family Guide to Health, Exercise, and Nutrition the Inexpensive and Simple Way (Copyright © 2009 by Jorge Posada and Laura Posada).

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• 7 Ways to Shrink the Sugar in Your Kids’ Diet
• 18 Ways to Turn Your Kids Onto Healthier Eating
• Restaurant Rules 101: Tips for Eating Out as a Family

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Fit Home Team: The Posada Family Guide to Health, Exercise, and Nutrition the Inexpensive and Simple Way
• Watch a video with Jorge and Laura Posada
• Browse more books by Jorge Posada

Fab Foods
These are my must-have foods. I eat as many of them as I can every day. It helps that I love them, so it’s a treat, not a chore.

Berries: raspberries, blueberries, cranberries, blackberries, anything with the word “berry” at the end of it. They have tons of vitamins C and E, fiber, and antioxidants. The fiber fills you up, curbs cravings, and helps eliminate toxins and fluids. The antioxidants give you glowing skin, shiny hair, and strong nails. They also improve memory and brain function (good for remembering names at that special event!).

Yogurt: it’s full of calcium (400 mg. per cup), which has been proven to help burn fat and promote weight loss, plus protein (8 grams per cup), which helps your body build muscle. One cup has as much potassium as a banana. Potassium flushes out sodium, ridding you of fluids and bloat. It also contains lecithin, which helps digestion. Yogurt also contains probiotics that strengthen the immune system, and friendly bacteria, which break down toxins and help your body absorb more vitamins, minerals, and proteins. Make sure you read the labels carefully and choose only those that have live and active cultures, and no added sugar or high-fructose corn syrup.

Oats and whole grains: oatmeal, barley, oat bran, brown rice, rye, and quinoa are a perfect combo of fiber, protein, and complex carbs. They are also rich in magnesium and potassium. Fiber curbs cravings and speeds metabolism, so having a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast will keep you full throughout the morning. Sprinkle on some cinnamon, which will keep you from reaching for a sugary, mid-morning snack.

Spinach: it is full of B6 vitamins, fiber, protein (who knew?), calcium, lecithin, vitamins A, C, K, iron, and coenzyme COQ. It also has magnesium, which helps your body absorb vitamin D, and prevents fatigue and depression. The majority of women have seriously low levels of vitamin D, which can mean serious trouble for your bones. I suffer from low bone density so I am very vigilant about getting enough vitamin D and calcium. Spinach has a high water content, which is great for flushing out toxins and excess fluids. Chlorophyll speeds slimming by helping heal and detox the liver so it can break down and flush out toxins. Goodbye, bloat!

Legumes/beans: chickpeas, kidney, pinto, red, and black beans have huge amounts of protein and fiber. Beans block the enzyme that turns carbs to sugar, preventing blood sugar levels from spiking, which leads to fat storage. The protein strengthens collagen and elastin, the tissue that keeps your skin looking firm and healthy. I eat just 3 cups a week (canned are fine) to get all these amazing benefits.

Eggs: they have zinc, protein, amino acids, B vitamins, which build white blood cells, and antibodies to fight off illness. Just two eggs eliminate fat-soluble toxins. Don’t ignore the yolk — it has all the nutrients — lutein, choline, vitamins A, D, E, and B6. Try to buy the ones that come from pastured hens, or are enriched to provide double or triple amounts of omega 3 fatty acids, vitamin E, and vitamin A.

Asparagus: it’s got amazing diuretic properties. Try to eat eight spears a day with 64 ounces of water for one week to flush out toxins and excess fluids, and to reduce bloat.

Broccoli: it’s easy to find and inexpensive, and is chockfull of vitamins A and C, calcium, potassium, folic acid, and fiber.

Nuts and seeds: These are true super foods, and there are so many varieties to choose from: almonds, pecans, pistachios, walnuts, sunflower seeds, flaxseeds, peanuts, and peanut butter. They contain omega 3 fatty acids, magnesium, potassium, vitamins B6 and E, and soluble fiber. Fiber helps stabilize blood sugar and prevents insulin surges and weight gain. I always carry nuts with me and eat them every day.

Healthy oils: olive, canola, and flaxseed. These contain good fats and are a great source of vitamin E, and are better for you than vegetable oils, which are more difficult to digest and can lead to inflammation.

Chocolate: when I’m feeling hormonal, I crave sweets, especially chocolate. It turns out that chocolate not only satisfies my sweet tooth but also produces “feel good” endorphins in the brain. Try to choose brands that have a 70 percent or greater cocoa content, as these have less sugar and more of the beneficial ingredients.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lisa Rinna, author of Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever (Copyright © 2009 by Lisa Rinna), is an award-winning actress and television host, best known for her roles on Days of Our Lives and Melrose Place, as well as her co-hosting duties on Soap Talk, her appearances on Dancing with the Stars, and her red-carpet interviews on the TV Guide Network. She is the creator of a line of dance-themed exercise DVDs called Lisa Rinna Dance Body Beautiful, and she runs her own successful boutique, Belle Gray, with her husband, actor Harry Hamlin, with whom she has two daughters, Delilah and Amelia.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 7 Dynamite Drinks for Revving Up Metabolism and Boosting Energy
• The Ultimate Quick-Fix Workout

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever
• Watch a slideshow of photos from the book

• If you are a Recreational or Social Smoker, you may feel that your limited smoking poses no serious medical harm to yourself or others. You may, however, ignore warning signs that your occasional smoking is progressing into addiction, especially during periods of stress or increased alcohol use. A periodic review of these warning signs may help motivate you to consider becoming smoke-free.
• The Scared-to-Quit Smoker has no end of reasons (excuses) to put off going smoke-free to some future date. Sometimes it helps to focus on just quitting for one day. If you can quit for a day, you can quit every day. This realization can be a great confidence builder, and helps to decrease your fears about not smoking “ever again.” Forever is too big a word for many addicts; thus the old adage “Take it a day at a time.” Just try to make each and every smoke-free day a good one!
• The Emotion-Triggered Smoker believes he or she needs the cigarette to handle life’s big and small problems. Once the emotional trigger to smoke becomes more conscious, you can use this awareness as a tool. Remember: if every time you have gotten angry for 20 years, you have taken a cigarette, this impulse will not vanish overnight. Wanting a cigarette will not hurt you. Human beings have all kinds of thoughts and feelings that in themselves are harmless if not put into action. If you are an emotion-triggered smoker, you need to keep your thoughts and feelings about smoking in the realm of your mind and not act on them. There is a saying: Don’t just do something, sit there. Let the feeling pass without smoking, and you’ll find over time that you can cope with it better than you ever imagined!
• The Worried-about-Weight Smoker may be trying to live up to standards that breed dissatisfaction and discontent. Start by trying to decrease worries about weight rather than trying to lose it! The obstacle here may be fear of making a “reasonable compromise.” Yes, you may gain a few pounds, but you’ll do so much to improve your health. In life we often have a choice about how we wish to view a situation. Worrying about weight may keep you from considering other elements in your situation. Focus on other important realities, such as preserving your family life or your physical well-being or finding other (more creative and new) ways to increase your metabolism — like interval walking (alternating the speed of your pace). The confidence gained from becoming smoke-free will help you find new solutions to old problems, like weight, down the road.
• The Alcoholic Smoker needs to distinguish between good guilt and shame and bad guilt and shame. Bad guilt and shame can paralyze you because of actions (or inactions) you may have taken in the past which hurt others or yourself. It is a counterproductive form of self-punishment. Good guilt can lead you to examine past actions, take stock of yourself, and learn to be the person you wish you had been all along. With bad guilt, you don’t forgive yourself for your alcoholism; you just feel bad about it. With good guilt, you can learn to forgive yourself and to live with your imperfections even as you dedicate yourself to trying to make changes in your life.
• The Situational Smoker is different from the other kinds of smokers described above. In each of the other types (except the truly Recreational Smoker, who is not addicted), the smoker comes to realize that he or she has lost control over smoking, and that stopping completely is the only way to get back the lost control. Because these situational smokers stop relatively easily for periods of time, they never really believe they have lost control and thereby lose a powerful motivation for going smoke-free. They search for reasons why they smoke, as if these will spontaneously cure them, when mostly this fruitless search just perpetuates their situation.

Focusing on this smoking pattern as a product of pure behavioral conditioning may be more productive than searching for reasons you smoke. Once you stop smoking completely you’ll discover your triggers and can eliminate them from your life or learn to cope with them in new ways, without smoking.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Daniel F. Seidman, Ph.D., author of Smoke-Free in 30 Days: The Pain-Free, Permanent Way to Quit (Copyright © 2010 Daniel F. Seidman, Ph.D.), is a member of the Columbia University Behavioral Medicine Faculty, and a practicing psychotherapist. He is Assistant Clinical Professor of Medical Psychology at the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, and Director of Smoking Cessation Services at the Columbia University Behavioral Medicine Program.

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Smoke-Free in 30 Days: The Pain-Free, Permanent Way to Quit
• Read the book’s foreword by Dr. Mehmet C. Oz
• Watch the video: Prepare to quit smoking with Dr. Daniel Seidman

If you’re like most people, you may be reading this and thinking “Sure, I have some stress, but who doesn’t? How would I know if my stress levels are high enough to be hurting me?” Unfortunately, there isn’t a quantitative test to check to see if your stress levels are hurting your health, but there is one way you can tell. Think about how you feel when you are in a very stressful situation. Identify that feeling. How often do you get that feeling? Most people can define when their stress feels good (as in excitement) and when it feels bad (as in fear). You might be the type of person who thrives on stress. It feels good to you; you find it exhilarating. But what if it starts to feel bad and you start feeling anxious? Can you turn it off? If the answer is yes, you are fine. If the answer is no, you have some work to do.

Long-term Strategies to Reduce Stress
How can you turn off the stress response and keep it off? It’s probably easiest to divide the strategies into short-term and long-term. Long-term strategies help you prevent unnecessary activation of the stress response in the first place. Short-term strategies help you turn off the stress response when it is active, but you no longer want it to be.

One of the best long-term and short-term strategies for stress control is to maintain a regular exercise program. I know, you’ve heard this before, but it is really true. When you exercise regularly, you raise the threshold for the release of the stress response. You not only become much more relaxed immediately after exercise, you also find that your stress response will simply not fire as readily. How does that happen? It’s an amazing process.

First, when you exercise, your heart rate increases, and this stimulates your heart to release a hormone called atrial natriuretic peptide. This hormone then crosses the blood–brain barrier of your brain, goes right over to your emotional limbic system, and turns off the stress response. See what I mean about amazing?

Your brain also produces endorphins, which work like morphine; endocannabinoids, (which work like marijuana); serotonin, a feel-good, calming neurotransmitter; dopamine, a feel-good, motivating neurotransmitter; and brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which fertilizes your brain cells somewhat like Miracle-Gro does plants. Your moving muscles also release growth factors that stimulate the production of proteins used to lay down the infrastructure for new nerve networks, and tighten the already existing nerve connections, making it easier for you to learn, pay attention, and stay happy — while also being calm and relaxed. Wow! It’s almost too easy, right?

In addition to regular exercise, you need to eat regular meals. Your body is designed to eat about every four hours while you are awake, and when you don’t, the stress response fires. You don’t need to eat much at any one time, but you should have something about every four hours. It’s also best to choose foods that keep your blood sugar levels nice and steady until your next meal. If you eat in a way that causes your blood sugar level to spike and then plummet, your stress response will often fire.

Your body is designed to get an average of eight hours of sleep per night. You may need a little more or a little less, but if you try to get by on less sleep than your body needs, the stress response activates. It should therefore come as no surprise that the health consequences we see in people who are chronically sleep-deprived are exactly the same health consequences we see in people who are chronically stressed.

You need to learn how to slow down and enjoy more of less. This is another long-term stress management skill. We live in a fast-paced world, and overscheduling ourselves has become the norm. You are not designed to be on the go 24/7. Stop and figure out what is really important to you. Decide what you absolutely need to be happy and what is negotiable. Then prioritize your schedule. You don’t have to say yes to every project that comes along at work or go to every party you are invited to. Slow down. Smell the flowers. Try to spend more time doing fewer things but enjoying them more. It’s your life, your one life. Live it the way that makes you the happiest.

Set aside time each day to nurture yourself and relax. Just as you can’t drive your car without stopping to refuel every now and then, so it is with your mind and body. Go for a walk, read a book, take a warm bath, listen to a rerun of Friends while you’re making dinner, or spend time with a buddy while you exercise. You can weave in some time for yourself if you are creative. Take time to “refuel your tank” on a regular basis, and you will end up with much more energy and much less stress in the long run.

Create a supportive social network. Studies show that having positive relationships with friends and family leads to not just a higher quality of life but a longer life as well. In fact, the “fight-or-flight” stress response is not the only survival mechanism we have evolved for survival. Women, in particular, probably because of their physical limitations of size and strength, have evolved what has been labeled the “tend-and-befriend” survival coping mechanism. We humans are wired for social connection, and it makes sense that surrounding ourselves with a sympathetic community evolved, at least partially, as a survival mechanism. Recent research has focused on mirror neurons in the brain that enable humans to have a tremendous amount of empathy for one another. We are designed to cooperate as well as learn from one another. During positive social interactions, the brain produces higher levels of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, the feel-good chemicals that help us stay happy and calm.

Meditation and yoga can also be effective for controlling stress by allowing you to tap into the autonomic, “involuntary” nervous system. There are two nerve networks that weave themselves throughout the body: the voluntary nerves and the involuntary nerves. Your voluntary system is the one you control easily. If you want to lift your hand, you can willingly fire the nerves that activate the muscles that move your hand. The second nerve network is the involuntary system, made up of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nerves. This system is harder to control, but with practice you can learn how to influence it. Although the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems are considered “involuntary,” the truth is that you can actually learn how to activate them, and you can become really quite good at it. For example, you can activate your sympathetic system by thinking of something that excites you. It can be something that makes you happy, such as a concert you are about to attend, or it can be something you are stressing about, such as a deadline for a paper. If you want to turn the sympathetic system off, you can do slow deep breathing or focus on a scene or a thought that you find calming and peaceful. When you do meditation or yoga, the deep breathing and focus of these activities activate the parasympathetic system.

Let me be quick to say that learning how to manage stress is not all about learning to be mellow. You can be incredibly vital, energetic, and productive without having your stress response firing all the time. What you need is a balance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nerve systems. Just as you shouldn’t step on the gas pedal and the brake of your car at the same time, so must you learn how to share the power within the autonomic nervous system.

There are four possible outcomes when talking about the balance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. You can be healthy-sympathetic-dominant, where you feel energetic and challenged, as, for example, when you are getting ready to go onstage to play the lead in Hamlet or run a fifty-yard dash. Or you may be unhealthy-sympathetic-dominant and feel frazzled and anxious in these same situations. Likewise, you may be healthy-parasympathetic-dominant while relaxing on a blanket at the beach or drifting off to sleep. Or you can be unhealthy-parasympathetic-dominant, and experience lethargy, apathy, and depression.

Your thoughts are also crucial in winning the battle of stress. Studies show that people who focus on the positive aspects of their lives (what is going right and what they are grateful for) have lower stress levels than those who focus on the negative. Simply switching your thoughts from negative to positive (such as thinking of something that brings you great joy) shifts your brain and body’s physiology into a healthier mode. Of course you can use this as a quick, short-term method of turning off stress, but maintaining a positive outlook in general, which is something you can practice and improve in, is an excellent long-term strategy for stress management. It also helps to learn more about why you have certain feelings or responses. Knowing what pushes your buttons and why you respond the way you do is a pivotal part of maturing. You can use this knowledge to change the way you feel and respond. This strategy engages your sophisticated, higher-functioning, cerebral cortex and is referred to as cognitive restructuring.

Your general outlook and way of thinking influence how active your stress response is. As I mentioned before, thoughts or incoming information can trigger the stress response if the amygdala interprets them as threatening. Mismatches in this process, as I’ve said before, can fire the stress response. Having a better understanding of what pushes your buttons and why you respond the way you do can reduce the number of mismatches and therefore lower your stress long term. This isn’t frivolous, new-age kind of talk. This is about physically restructuring your nerve networks. Your cerebral cortex and your more primitive, emotional limbic system (where your amygdala lives) are tightly connected. You can head off amygdala activity by sending in nerve activity from your higher-functioning cerebral cortex. Jim may think, for example, “Okay, Molly was a little rude when she spoke to me, but she has been under a lot of stress and it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me anymore and that all of a sudden she is just going to walk away from the relationship. She’s worried about losing her job. I know that when I feel threatened with rejection I often lash out at her, but I’m not going to do that this time. I’m going to take the high road here and let it go. I know Molly loves me. We have a great relationship, and I’m going to tell her how much I appreciate her.” There, you talked yourself out of the stress response, and every time you think this way, your neural synapses cement together more strongly and new nerve networks develop. The more you repeat this kind of thinking, the easier it is to think this way the next time a similar situation comes up. Your brain changes physically in response to your thoughts.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Kelly Traver, M.D., author of The Program: The Brain-Smart Approach to the Healthiest You: The Life-Changing 12-Week Method (Copyright © 2009 by Kelly Traver, M.D., and Elizabeth Kelly Sargent), has been practicing medicine for more than seventeen years. She recently served as medical director at Google and is currently on the board for the Institute for the Future. Dr. Traver is the founder of Healthiest You, a company that works with corporations, health care organizations, and the government to help individuals become more empowered and engaged in their health.

Betty Kelly Sargent is a writer and veteran book and magazine editor, as well as a certified life coach.

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• 10 Weight-Busting Ingredients and Easy Substitutes
• Change Your Brain, Change Your Routine, Change Your Life
• Embrace Change: How to Make New Actions Second Nature
• Top 10 Happiness Strategies: Scientifically-Documented Ways to Improve Your Mood

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 2 of The Program, a life-changing 12-week method
• Watch the video: How to get started with a healthy lifestyle
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There are hundreds of different studies that show that how you choose to live your life — what you do and how you decide to think — plays an enormous role in your ability to be happy. In other words, you are not just a victim of chemicals floating around in your head. You can take some very concrete steps to take the reins of your life and improve your mood. It is extremely important to remember that our lives are not wholly predetermined by our genes. For example, the environment you are exposed to influences whether certain genes are turned on or off. Your behaviors can also turn genes on or off. So can your thoughts. You can have much more influence over your mood than you may have thought.

Here are the top ten Happiness Strategies that have been scientifically documented to improve mood.

• Count your blessings and appreciate what you have. Every day, either write down three things you are grateful for or tell them to your partner or a close friend. People who actively focus on what is going right in their lives become happier people. The more you think this way, the more your brain will lay down new nerve paths and the more reflexive and second nature this positive way of thinking will become.
• Practice optimism. Expect positive outcomes. Always try to see the best in people, situations, and circumstances. You don’t have to be a Pollyanna, nor should you be unrealistic, but there are always two sides — good and bad — to a person, situation, or circumstance. Focus on the good. Optimistic thoughts are often self-fulfilling. When people are optimistic and believe that something good will come of what they are working toward, they are more likely to persevere when they hit roadblocks. Their resilience and persistence are what lead them to succeed.
• Focus on your own life and making it everything you want it to be. Don’t compare yourself to other people. Whenever you see yourself start to make comparisons, stop. Shift back to your own life. In the end, if you are happy and fulfilled with what you are doing, it doesn’t matter what anybody else is doing. People who live life without making comparisons are happier.
• Surround yourself with loving, supportive, positive friends and family. Human beings have evolved to be part of a bigger network. Social interactions change the very chemistry within your body. In your brain, serotonin and dopamine levels increase in response to positive social interactions. In women, positive social interactions cause oxytocin levels to rise, and, in men, vasopressin levels rise. Oxytocin and vasopressin are the “tend and befriend” chemicals that drive people toward tighter social connections. People with strong, supportive social networks live healthier, happier, longer lives.
• Learn to manage stress. Stress plays a pivotal role in initiating depression because the high cortisol levels associated with stress disrupt the brain’s ability to modulate the feel-good chemicals of serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine.
• Live in the present. Enjoy the moment. Stop thinking so much about everything you need to do tomorrow. Savor the little things along the way, like the way the grass smells when you leave for work in the morning or how comfortable it feels to sit down and relax at the end of a day. Don’t be afraid to be frivolous, either. You don’t have to be serious all the time. It’s okay to watch a mindless sitcom and just laugh. Your brain loves to play. Let it.
• Strive to be part of something bigger than yourself. Work toward something in which you find significant meaning. People who turn their focus away from themselves and toward something in which they find true meaning often find themselves happier and more passionate about life in general. If you are looking for a job, look for a company that has a mission statement that involves a more meaningful pursuit than a purely financial one. Studies show that employees who feel their jobs are meaningful on a deeper level are happier.
• Volunteer. Helping others increases happiness. Become involved with something you feel deeply about, such as global poverty, health, education, the environment, or disadvantaged children. There are many areas in which you can make a difference. People are happier giving than receiving. In a study published in Science in 2008, investigators asked forty-six participants to rate their happiness in the morning, gave each of them some money, and then randomly assigned them to spend the money on themselves or on others. When participants rated their happiness at the end of the day, the amount of money they had received was unrelated to their happiness. Those who spent the money on themselves had no increase in happiness, but those who spent it on others had significantly higher happiness ratings. Buying things for yourself or receiving gifts may bring happiness briefly, but once you get past the basic essentials for survival, such as food, clothing, and shelter, material wealth does not translate into happiness. After an initial burst of pleasure, people quickly revert back to their baseline level of happiness. This also happens when someone loses money or material wealth. With loss, people are sad at first, but then they revert back to their baseline level of happiness.
• Learn to accept what you can’t change. Try to let go of things over which you have no control. If you can accept that there are things in life that aren’t always ideal but that life can be good anyway, you’ve taken a giant step closer to happiness.
• Finally, work exercise into your daily routine. I’ve saved this one for last because this is the most tangible of the ten strategies to improve your happiness. When you exercise, you change the chemistry in your brain, but, more important, you ultimately change the very structure of your brain.

In all of the strategies I’ve just mentioned, repetition is required so that there is strong and consistent signaling to stimulate the brain to strengthen the synapses of existing nerve connections and to build up new and improved networks.

So here’s the question: Is happiness important to your health? Absolutely! Happy people are physically healthier. Happy people live longer. Happy people enjoy a higher quality of life. There’s one thing for sure: the brain and body are inextricably connected. You can’t address the body without addressing the brain, and vice versa. If you want to be happy and enjoy optimal health, you need to take care of both.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Kelly Traver, M.D., author of The Program: The Brain-Smart Approach to the Healthiest You: The Life-Changing 12-Week Method (Copyright © 2009 by Kelly Traver, M.D., and Elizabeth Kelly Sargent), has been practicing medicine for more than seventeen years. She recently served as medical director at Google and is currently on the board for the Institute for the Future. Dr. Traver is the founder of Healthiest You, a company that works with corporations, health care organizations, and the government to help individuals become more empowered and engaged in their health.

Betty Kelly Sargent is a writer and veteran book and magazine editor, as well as a certified life coach.

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• 7 Strategies for Reducing Stress
• 10 Weight-Busting Ingredients and Easy Substitutes
• Change Your Brain, Change Your Routine, Change Your Life
• Embrace Change: How to Make New Actions Second Nature

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• Read Chapter 2 of The Program, a life-changing 12-week method
• Watch the video: How to Get Started with a Healthy Lifestyle
  

You’re working long, long hours to get your career in high gear, then blowing off steam late at night, trying to meet people at smoky after-hours clubs or late-night bars. What with proving yourself on the job, struggling to get a romantic relationship going, and losing sleep over both, you’re ripe for burnout. And maybe breakouts, too — a nonstop lifestyle can suddenly produce a bumper crop of pimples. Some suggestions follow.

Wean yourself from work. How do you do this? By setting up boundaries and sticking to them, just as you keep to brushing your teeth and hair every day. Choose a time each day after which you will not do any more work. Make sure you give yourself at least one day over the weekend to goof off (no work!), whether it’s by yourself or with family.

Blow out the flame. If you’re truly burning the candle at both ends, you need to stop and evaluate why. Are you working sixteen-hour days? Or are you staying out late with friends to cut loose and enjoy the fruits of your labor?

If it’s wall-to-wall work, you’ve got to take charge. It might mean a long talk with your boss or, if things are really out of hand, even switching jobs. Or it might mean you need to just stop being such a workaholic and do less.

On the flip side is our yearning to take a break by doing something exhausting. In the case of a lot of end-to-end candle burners, we party hard, drink, smoke, and stay out way past our bedtime. My advice here isn’t not to have fun. On the contrary! But when you need a break, take a break. Six hours at Club All Night Long probably isn’t it, no matter how cute the suits at the bar are.

Get a dose of morning light. Our body clocks don’t exactly match the day’s twenty-four-hour-day clock, which makes us want to sleep twelve minutes longer every day and stay up later every night. But you probably don’t sleep later but do stay up later…no wonder you’re wiped. What helps? Getting out of bed at the same time every morning and sitting in a sunny spot for breakfast, or exercising outdoors, or just turning on lots of lights. A dose of brightness in the morning helps synch up your internal clock with the twenty-four-hour day. Which also helps you get on regular, saner schedule.

Turn off the cell phone and PDA. More and more we’re growing into a culture addicted to our BlackBerries (there’s a reason they were instantly nicknamed CrackBerries). The flickering, hypnotic light from their tiny screens will arouse your brain and cut into your sleep time. Put away your electronics at least an hour before you hit the hay, if not earlier. Otherwise, you’ll never get a truly restful night’s sleep. (True confessions: I know about this — I’ve been there!)

Tell yourself how well you’re doing. Even if it feels silly, give yourself a morning pep talk while you’re in front of the mirror. Say a few positive affirmations, such as “I’m going to have a fabulous day; I’m beautiful and healthy, and it’s up to me to make great things happen; I’m grateful for this life and I’m doing terrific.” Note how well you’re coping with whatever pressure you’re under. Even if you don’t quite believe yourself, it’s still effective. Research has shown that over time, a daily rah-rah builds resilience, which can fortify you against stress.

Prep yourself. Take stock of your coming day. Note the pitfalls: the two-hour parent-teacher night that tends to last three; the regular Thursday staff meeting; the eighty-five unanswered e-mails that could consume the entire morning. Every day has its molehills, but if you’re prepared and limit the time you give them, they won’t turn into mountains.

Book a massage. Massage strokes relax your muscles and your psyche because being touched releases oxytocin; remember, that’s the bonding hormone that makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over. It’s the internal reason massages are so calming and soothing. The external one, of course, is how they unknot those tense, clenched muscles in your neck.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Amy Wechsler, M.D., the author of The Mind-Beauty Connection: 9 Days to Less Stress, Gorgeous Kin, and a Whole New You (Copyright © 2008 by RealAge Corporation), is a dermatologist and a psychiatrist, one of only two doctors in the country who are board-certified in both specialties. She is also Evidence of the mind-beauty connection walks into her office every day: “Premature aging and adult acne are the two most common skin problems I see, and stress and exhaustion are often at the bottom of both,” she says. Dr. Wechsler practices in New York City, where she lives with her husband and two kids. She is a member of the RealAge Scientific Advisory Board.

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• Watch the video: Beauty tips from Amy Wechsler
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The environments where you live and work and the ways in which you interact with them propel you either toward or away from weight loss and health by activating or “triggering” genes. Food choices, stress or relaxation, portions, risky behaviors, exercise or the lack of it — all turn on or off your genes. Scientific literature calls these “environmental triggers” because they begin outside you. Negative triggering puts a series of gene-based chemical events into motion that lead to weight gain and disease. Positive triggering does the opposite. If you couldn’t switch from negative to positive, fat really would be your fate.

These six aspects of your present environment may be triggering your genes into derailing health and weight loss efforts. It’s not as simple as “too many calories, too little exercise.” Yes, these triggers precipitate a flood of chemicals that modify the way you metabolize food and determine whether you store or burn excess calories, but they also lead to weight gain in other ways. For example, the hormone cortisol, which stress increases, changes the receptors on fat cells in the abdominal region and promotes fat storage there. Whereas sitting still reduces the metabolic rate, burns fewer calories, and stores more fat, exercise speeds the metabolic rate, increasing fat burning capacity for twelve to twenty-four hours even after the exercise is finished and reduces fat storage. Portion distortion sets you up for ongoing weight gain by increasing the number and size of fat cells. Lack of structured meals and toxic food choices starve your body of antioxidant chemicals, provoking stress responses and inciting the inflammation associated with diabetes and heart disease. Unaided by minerals supplied by antioxidant-rich foods, blood pressure tends to rise.

Likely, several of these weight triggers are very familiar. Countless times you may have considered their role in your weight gain. Perhaps your response is: But I can’t change where I work. I don’t have more time. I can’t afford fresh fruits or vegetables. Yes, some of these negative triggers are imposed on us. Certainly processed food, stress, sedentary deskwork and driving are practically unavoidable in our modern lives. Nonetheless, if you ignore the factors that are triggering your weight gain while dieting, you will not succeed in keeping it off. You have more power than you think you do.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Dr. Susan Mitchell and Dr. Catherine Christie are the authors of Fat is Not Your Fate (Copyright © 2005 by Dr. Susan Mitchell and Dr. Catherine Christie), I’d Kill for a Cookie, and Eat to Stay Young. Dr. Mitchell, a registered dietitian, certified nutrition specialist, and fellow of the American Dietetic Association, has appeared on Today, CNN, and the TV Food Network. Dr. Christie, also a registered dietitian and certified nutrition specialist, is a fellow of the American Dietetic Association and president of the Florida Dietetic Association.

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• Read Chapter 1 of Fat Is Not Your Fate: Outsmart Your Genes and Lose the Weight Forever
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Carbohydrates are in the hot seat. As a consumer, you have heard it all. First, you hear you want a diet high in carbs, then you hear that you want a diet low in carbs, and then, just as you feel utterly confused, you hear that if you want to lose weight you should eat a diet with no carbs. What is the scoop on carbohydrates — those foods you love to love yet that many popular diet books love to hate? Well, forget what you’ve heard. Here’s the real deal.

You can eat carbs and lose weight.

In fact, you should eat carbs because they provide your body with energy to burn calories. You can even eat a cookie, pasta, or a roll with dinner without guilt. Although these are not the best carbohydrates to choose, you don’t have to swear off them.

Carbs fuel your muscles, central nervous system, and red blood cells. Without them you won’t have energy. Without energy, you will become too lethargic to engage in activity. You will even conserve energy by cutting back on the smallest of movements (for instance, you won’t get up out of your office chair as frequently, or when you are standing, you’ll lean on something rather than support your own weight), and you’ll hardly burn a calorie.

You will be exhausted and conserve energy every chance you get. The resulting inactivity will lead to weight gain. So even small amounts of carbohydrates must be part of every meal in order to give you a continuous energy boost throughout the day.

Some carbs are much better than others. We’ve broken them down into three groups: “always” carbs should constitute over half of your daily calorie intake and should be chosen nine out of ten times you have carbs; “sometimes” carbs should be limited, not chosen more than two times out of ten; and “rarely” carbs should be saved for special occasions and eaten no more than one out of every ten times you eat a carb. It’s imperative to learn which are which.

“Always” Carbs are made from whole grains and include unrefined plant foods — vegetables, fruits, and legumes. They take a long time to digest, which makes them metabolism-friendly.

They provide ample carbohydrate with little or no fat. In theory, these plant foods (carbohydrates) are as good as it gets — wholesome food grown straight from the soil, the child of our very own Mother Nature. Changed minimally, if at all, by the time they reach our plates, they are so nutritious that the American Heart Association and the American Diabetes Association recommend eating more whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and beans, all of which are carbohydrates. And the National Cancer Institute recommends that we get at least five servings of fruits and vegetables a day. (Some new research shows that we should get twice this — ten servings a day.)

Carbs that are rich in fiber — such as brown rice, oatmeal, whole wheat bread, Raisin Bran, and fruits, vegetables, and beans — can take as long as two to four hours to digest because the fiber slows digestion. As a result, you feel full longer, and your body receives a longer lasting supply of energy. The longer your body is energized, the more active you will be, and the more calories you will burn.

BUYER BEWARE: Just because the bread is darker in color doesn’t mean it’s whole wheat; it may just mean that caramel color has been added. Be sure to read the ingredients label.

“Sometimes” and “Rarely” Carbs include white rice, white bread, cookies, candies, and cake. These foods have been so processed that their nutrients and fiber are gone by the time they get to you.

Usually the fiber is replaced with metabolically detrimental ingredients, like sugar and additives. You digest these processed “sometimes” and “rarely” carbs so quickly that you get a sugar “high,” only to be followed by a “crash.” This energy low causes the brain to signal that it needs more fuel (food) so that it can get some energy. You turn to the food that will provide you with energy the fastest — sugar and more refined “sometimes” and “rarely” carbohydrates. The bad news, of course, is that your brain is craving food even though you have just eaten. That’s overeating.

“Always” carbs, conversely, keep energy levels stable, which in turn prevents sugar highs and crashes and, most important, the subsequent overeating and inevitable weight gain.

We know it’s not always easy to find “always” carbs. Processed food is everywhere. However, by simply learning which carbohydrates you should “always” choose, and which you should “sometimes” and “rarely” choose, it will be easy for you to recognize your best metabolism-revving choices. You will be able to locate an “always” carbohydrate almost anywhere you go, and the good news is that all vegetables and all fruits (unless they are canned in syrup) are “always” carbohydrates.

So grains, not fruits and vegetables, can fall under the less desirable categories. Keep your eye on these. Be sure to choose the “always” grains nine times out of ten times that you eat a grain serving.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Lyssie Lakatos and Tammy Lakatos Shames, authors of Fire Up Your Metabolism (Copyright © 2004 by Lyssie Lakatos and Tammy Lakatos Shames), are registered dieticians, nutritionists, and personal trainers, and are the founders of Healthy Happenings, Inc., a company that provides nutrition consultations to more than 300 corporations. Their advice has appeared in Self, Family Circle, Woman’s Day, and Good Housekeeping. They live in New York City.

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• See the book’s Table of Contents

Sometimes finding enough time in a day to fit in a strength-training routine that works all the muscles in your body is nearly impossible. But you can get a fabulous, fast workout by focusing on the “big four” muscle groups — the chest, legs, back, and abs — rather than smaller muscle groups, because you are recruiting more muscles and activating a greater number of muscle fibers, thereby burning more calories. The chest, legs, back, and abs make up the majority of your body. Therefore, when you are in a hurry, focus on these muscle groups. Often, when men are in a hurry they focus on their biceps and triceps. In reality, if these men had worked their back and their chest, they would have had a much more productive workout.

Not only do the back and the chest cover a much larger area of the body and cause you to burn more calories then the biceps and triceps, when you work the back and chest you also work the biceps and triceps. Women, on the other hand, tend to work the inner and outer thighs when they are in a hurry, as they want to tone that part of the leg known for jiggling. However, their workout would be more productive if they focused on the larger leg muscles such as the quadriceps and hamstrings (and glutes) rather than the small muscles of the inner and outer thighs.

To make your workout easier, we have divided our Fire Up Your Metabolism tips into different categories: exercises for your back, your abs, your legs, and your chest. You can pick and choose from each group. We also provide tips for the smaller muscle groups so that these can be performed on days when you have more time, or a spare minute in your office, or when you are in front of your television. Remember, although performing exercises for the big four muscle groups is very helpful when it comes to firing up your metabolism, you will have the best results and see the most muscle tone when you include exercises that isolate the smaller muscle groups as well.

Abs

PRACTICE PERFECT POSTURE. Standing up straight not only requires you to keep your shoulders back, it also means that you have to keep your abs tight and contracted at all times. If you don’t have great abs now, practice perfect posture all day long and soon you will be quite pleased with your own abs!

LET’S BE FRANK. ONE OF THE BEST AB STRENGTHENERS IS THE PLANK.

YOU’VE PROBABLY HAD A HUNCH THAT IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU DO THE CRUNCH. This is one of the most effective ways to fire up your abs.

HERE’S HOW TO TONE THE FLAB…ON YOUR LOWER ABS. Try a reverse crunch.

ARE YOU A VETERAN AT THE GYM? THIS AB MOVE WILL HELP YOU GET TRIM. Lie on a physioball. Place your feet on the ground, while your back rests on the ball, parallel to the ground. Follow the directions for performing a crunch with the proper technique, and now you are also building your stabilizer muscles!

Chest

KISS THE GROUND…IN BETWEEN EACH PUSH-UP. Each peck will make sure that each push helps your pecs look fabulous.

PUSH DOWN THE WALL. Stand about a foot away from the wall, and use your arm, chest, and shoulder muscles to push against the wall as hard as you can.

THROWING A MEDICINE BALL IS THE PERFECT MEDICINE FOR BUILDING A LEAN AND TONED UPPER BODY. Tossing this weighty ball back and forth with a partner is an unconventional way to gain upper-body strength while having fun.

Legs

SIT ON THE IMAGINARY CHAIR. And while doing this, you can imagine the newly toned and shapely legs you will have. Do this with your back against the wall.

WHO SAID THE LOCUST COMES AROUND ONLY EVERY SEVENTEEN YEARS? This locust should come several times per week. This yoga pose that looks like a backward leg lift strengthens and tones the glutes.

LOUNGING AROUND? Lunge around instead.

DON’T LET YOUR REAR BE THE BUTT OF JOKES. Do a lateral lunge.

BUTT-TONING MOVES CAN SHAPE YOUR HIPS, TOO! As a matter of fact, all butt-toning exercises do this, as the buttocks are the largest posterior hip muscles. Love that!

DO IT ON ALL FOURS! First, get your mind out of the gutter! Now, repeat the dog at the hydrant exercise three times with each leg.

STEP UP TO THE PLATE. No Stairmaster? Tone your butt on the staircase. This is a superior calorie-burning movement. You’ll kill two birds with one stone — you reap both muscle-strengthening and cardiovascular benefits.

DON’T MAKE THIS LEGGY MISTAKE. Most males make the mistake of strengthening their upper bodies and overlooking their legs. Women make the mistake of focusing solely on the inner and outer thighs. Both are missing the boat when it comes to firing it up, as the leg muscles (quadriceps and hamstrings) are very large, and increasing lean muscle here can really help to speed up the metabolism.

Back

BEACH BALLS AREN’T ONLY FOR THE BEACH. Fire up all of your back muscles using a beach ball.

MONKEY BARS ONLY FOR KIDS? THAT’S MONKEY BUSINESS. Strengthen your upper body by using the strength of your back and arms to swing from one bar to another.

DON’T BE A PUSHOVER, TRY PULLING: EXERCISES THAT USE YOUR BACK. Most daily activities require us to use the “pushing” motion rather than the “pulling” motion. This causes our backs to be less muscular than our fronts. This muscular imbalance results in poor posture with shoulders that are rounded forward. A strong back pulls your shoulders back, making you have good posture and a cool, confident look. Not to mention pulling up breasts that may be lower than they used to be.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Lyssie Lakatos and Tammy Lakatos Shames, authors of Fire Up Your Metabolism (Copyright © 2004 by Lyssie Lakatos and Tammy Lakatos Shames), are registered dieticians, nutritionists, and personal trainers, and are the founders of Healthy Happenings, Inc., a company that provides nutrition consultations to more than 300 corporations. Their advice has appeared in Self, Family Circle, Woman’s Day, and Good Housekeeping. They live in New York City.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Spicing Up Your Diet With Metabolism-Saving Foods
• You Can Eat Carbs and Lose Weight

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Fire Up Your Metabolism: 9 Proven Principles for Burning Fat and Losing Weight Forever
• See the book’s Table of Contents

At the end of the meal, vegetables always seem to be sitting on the plate; they are the resisted food. And we understand this — it’s the meat and potatoes, the items that you can really sink your teeth into, that we love the most because they are so satisfying. However, it’s time to think of veggies as your metabolism-saving medicine.

Vegetables, which we consider “always” carbohydrates, should be a part of at least half of your meals and snacks. With the exception of peas, potatoes, and corn, which are more calorie dense, you can eat as many vegetables as you want. They are low-calorie, fiber filled, and nutrient packed.

Vegetables are particularly great before a meal, as their fiber will start to fill you up and help you to eat less of other foods. Now before you start complaining about their lack of flavor — and before you give in to the temptation to add butter, oil, dressing, or other fats — let us give you some ways to please your taste buds when eating vegetables — without hurting your metabolism.

All vegetables are carbohydrates. And all of them are “always” carbohydrates. Just be sure to keep them lean by not seasoning them with butter, oil, or any other fat source.

Seasoning Vegetables Without Calories: Spice It Up
Asparagus: Black pepper, garlic powder, lemon, nutmeg, vinegar

Broccoli: Basil, black pepper, garlic powder, lemon, onion, oregano

Brussels sprouts: Chestnut, lemon, marjoram, nutmeg, oregano, sage

Cabbage: Caraway, celery, or poppy seeds; dry mustard; green pepper; onion; oregano; pimiento; vinegar

Carrots: Black pepper, chives, cloves, garlic powder, ginger, lemon, marjoram, mint, thyme

Cauliflower: Basil, chives, lemon, nutmeg, paprika, parsley, Rosemary

Collard, Kale, Mustard: Garlic powder, lemon, onions, oregano,

Cucumbers: Basil, dill, lemon, oregano, vinegar

Eggplant: Basil, chives, garlic powder, lemon, onion, oregano, parsley, tarragon

Green beans: Basil, celery, dill, garlic powder, lemon, low-sodium bouillon powder, nutmeg, onions, pimiento

Okra: Bay leaf, black pepper, lemon, thyme

Onions: Garlic powder, green pepper, nutmeg, red pepper

Tomatoes: Basil, bay leaf, black pepper, celery, curry, dill, garlic powder, onion, oregano, sage, savory, thyme

Turnip Greens: parsley, vinegar

TIPS
BROCCOLI BY THE BARREL…THAT’S THE WAY YOU SHOULD EAT THIS WEIGHT-LOSS POWER PLANT! Raw broccoli provides just twenty-five calories per cup, which will fill you up. The fibrousness of this carbohydrate means that it is digested gradually, providing a consistent release of fuel so that you have plenty of energy to burn calories — and you can benefit from thermogenesis.

PASS THE PEAS, PLEASE! BUT ONLY 1/2 CUP. Packed with fiber, vitamins, and especially vitamin C, peas give you a metabolic boost. However, limit to just 1/2 cup, as they are not as low in calories as most other veggies.

CALLING CAULIFLOWER. Already touted as an anti-carcinogen, cauliflower also helps to rev your metabolism, as its fiber extends the metabolic boost of the cauliflower’s carbohydrates. Trick those family members who aren’t fans of this veggie by pureeing it with mashed potatoes for a great texture. The family will get more fiber and vitamins with fewer calories, yet won’t taste a difference.

GO FOR THE GOLD! For a change, instead of a baked potato, choose a sweet potato that is about the size of your fist. This veggie has more nutrients than its white cousin but just as much fiber to extend the metabolism boost of the carbohydrate. (White potatoes are okay if you eat the fibrous skin.) As a bonus, you get a burst of beta-carotene, a powerful antioxidant that may help your body to fight off diseases such as heart disease and cancer.

TOMATO SAUCE — NOT ONLY FOR PASTA! Tomato sauce is packed with nutrients and doesn’t weigh you down like other fatty sauces. Use canned, crushed tomatoes (lots of fiber) and add garlic, oregano, and pepper to top different types of grains, such as barley, bulgur, couscous, or millet. Or top your baked potato with tomato sauce and pepper.

FORGET ABOUT THAT LETTUCE SALAD FOR LUNCH. Surprisingly, if your salad consists of lettuce topped mainly with vegetables, you aren’t revving your metabolism the way you should be. First of all, the low-calorie veggies aren’t providing enough calories to provide a significant source of energy. In addition, this only-carbohydrate meal won’t keep you satiated for long, and within an hour or two you’ll be ravenous and ready for more food. What’s more, if you have added one scoop of full-fat dressing, you are getting five hundred extra calories that you didn’t bargain for (causing you to gain one pound of weight a week). So if you want to stay lean and satiated, make sure to include in your vegetable salad a slightly more substantial “always” carbohydrate and a “thumbs-up” protein or a “friendly” fat.

Get more veggies without blinking an eye. You’ll fill up faster, too.

• Order your pizzas stacked with vegetables and your pastas topped with mushrooms, broccoli, and other veggies.
• Stack your sandwiches with lettuce, tomatoes, and sprouts.
• Pack your burritos with peppers, onions, and lettuce.
• Add spinach to your soups and pasta sauces.
• Toss peppers, onions, and spinach into your omelets.
• Vegetables should fill more than one-third of your plate.

ORDERING CHINESE? Instead of ordering Chinese chicken and rice, order Chinese broccoli, snow peas, or string beans, with chicken and rice. Fill your stomach with the veggies and eat a little less rice and chicken to save calories.

DON’T FLIP OVER VEGGIE CHIPS. We all would like to think that anytime a vegetable is mentioned in a food, it is a healthy food. However, this is not always the case. Ounce for ounce, they are very close in calories to their full-fat counterparts. An ounce of regular chips has 150 calories, while Veggie Booty with Spinach and Kale has 130 calories, Good Health Veggie Stix have 140 calories, and an ounce of Terra Stix have 150.

Do be warned, canned vegetables are not quite as nutritious as frozen or fresh. Some of the water-soluble vitamins in canned vegetables leach out into the water they are packed in, and sodium is added in the canning process. However, eating canned vegetables is better than forgoing vegetables altogether. (If you do eat canned veggies, reduce the sodium by rinsing the veggies in a strainer under cold water.) When eating canned fruits, choose those that are canned in water or in their own juice rather than in syrup. Added syrup makes an “always” carbohydrate a “sometimes” or “rarely” one. So stick to the fresh and frozen fruits and vegetables as much as possible.

Fresh and frozen fruits and vegetables are actually equally nutritious. If you always come home to wilted vegetables and therefore cannot add them to your meals, you can now turn to frozen ones to top your pizza, toss in your pasta sauce, or throw in your stir-fry, omelet, casserole, or soup.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Lyssie Lakatos and Tammy Lakatos Shames, authors of Fire Up Your Metabolism (Copyright © 2004 by Lyssie Lakatos and Tammy Lakatos Shames), are registered dieticians, nutritionists, and personal trainers, and are the founders of Healthy Happenings, Inc., a company that provides nutrition consultations to more than 300 corporations. Their advice has appeared in Self, Family Circle, Woman’s Day, and Good Housekeeping. They live in New York City.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• The Quickie Weight Training Regimen That Will Fire Up Your Metabolism
• You Can Eat Carbs and Lose Weight

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Fire Up Your Metabolism: 9 Proven Principles for Burning Fat and Losing Weight Forever
• See the book’s Table of Contents

Here are 10 questions to ask yourself — and your partner — to keep your marriage strong, even in the face of a tough diagnosis. From The 10 Best Questions for Living with Fibromyalgia by Dede Bonner, Ph.D.

1. When were we most successful in communicating with each other in the past? How can we use the same methods now to deal with this illness together?

Fibromyalgia is like an uninvited houseguest that’s here to stay. Your current communications may be hampered by unspoken feelings of anxiety, anger, or anguish about the daily reality of living with fibromyalgia.

A positive start is to reflect on the past good times. Talk over these times and remember how well you communicated.

Longtime partners often assume they can read each other’s minds. This can be a fatal flaw and shut down good listening. Talk in specifics with frequent “I” and “we” statements (“I think we should…,” “I feel we need to consider…”). Use openers like, “I hear you saying… ,” “Is that right?” or “Tell me more.” Keep your facial expressions open and your body language positive.

Harriette Cole, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Sense and Sensitivity, and a creative director for Ebony magazine, suggests: “It’s best in the beginning to ask welcoming questions. Do your best not to be hostile, condescending, or doubting… Ask your questions honestly and without judgment and not like an inquisition.”

2. What areas of our lives must we maintain to ensure as much normalcy as possible?

You need a cocoon of normalcy in order to function on a daily basis. Author and psychotherapist Rachael Freed says, “Everyone outside the patient wants ‘normal’ to return because it’s so threatening for them.”

But having a chronic illness becomes the “new normal.” As fibromyalgia expert at Oregon Health and Science University, Dr. Kim Dupree Jones, states, “Most people who get fibromyalgia start to get it in their thirties or forties during their most productive years in the workplace and raising families.”

Well spouse Gregg Piburn advises, “For the partner, chronic illness can become like an ongoing spectatorship. It’s no longer our problem; it’s her problem. It’s very important to band together and see the ‘Intruder’ as a common enemy. If both partners open up while in the foxhole of the war against the ‘Intruder,’ they can’t help but become tighter as a couple.”

Solve your problems together. Your life and household responsibilities must continue, but decide which ones are critical needs (like paying the bills) and which ones are the “wants” (continuing your daughter’s flute lessons). The daily bottom-line question, “What’s for dinner?” isn’t going away.

Normalcy also soothes frazzled nerves and the raw edges of relationships. For example, keep up e-mail correspondence with long-distance friends or an online support group.

3. What role changes in our partnership do we need to make to get through this thing together?

Your past roles and the division of labor in your partnership may now be turned upside down. In essence, you have two new job descriptions to write. This is a critical task that should not be overlooked.

Couples’ misunderstandings or unspoken assumptions about roles are a breeding ground for festering guilt, resentments, and even lifelong animosities toward each other. Clarify your expectations for each other. The well partner may need to cook or do more household chores. Longtime fibromyalgia patient Dot Gerecke in Horsham, Australia, advises, “Ask for help with the chores, especially on your ‘off days.’”

4. What has this been like for you?

This simple question may uncover a hornet’s nest of complaints, a flood of feelings, or no new information at all. It’s only understandable that some people who live with constant pain can overlook their partners’ feelings and experiences.

Dr. Kim Dupree Jones, explains, “It’s so hard for the spouse because the person with fibromyalgia can no longer do many of the things that they once enjoyed together, like sports, running, and other physical activities.” Gregg Piburn agrees with his story, “In the 1970s, I bought Sherrie running shoes and cross-country skis. In the 1980s, I bought her a recliner chair and cordless phone.”

Relationship advisers Dr. Scott Peck and Shannon Peck of Solana Beach, California, comment, “There are many ways to bring the empowering combination of kindness and love into your marriage. One way is to ask simple, direct questions.”

This Best Question works well for many occasions, so ask it often.

5. How can we help each other deal with the stress in our lives?

You may be facing a double-dose stress whammy. Chronic illness strains even the best relationships.

Many couples experience internal misunderstandings, self-pity, anger, and financial and sexual problems. The ill partner may become disabled. All of this is added to the pressure cooker of routine work, family, and financial demands.

Maryland licensed clinical social worker Mark Gorkin says, “Caregivers frequently cycle between anger, due to the unreasonable demands of caregiving, and being in a state of chronic guilt and stress for not being able to do it all.”

The only way out is to work together as a team. Identify what’s causing each of you the greatest stress and then talk over what you can practically do to alleviate some of it. Some friends or family members might gladly help out, too.

6. How can I show you that I love you?

Welcome to the “Hugs Department.” There’s an old saying that “hugs are the universal medicine.” Even if you are struggling in this relationship, saying, “I love you,” or giving small tokens of your affection can mean the world to either partner.

7. How can we still enjoy being together and have fun?

Don’t let fibromyalgia rob you of a sense of humor and fun. Sure, you probably can’t do all the things you could before, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything that’s fun or at least talk about what you will do another time.

What’s something silly or easy that you two can do together once in a while just like the old days? Get your favorite take-out food, watch a stupid movie together, take a walk together, or see old friends.

Being sick is no fun, but laughter can go a long way in strengthening the good glue of your relationship.

8. What can I do to help you now and later?

It might just be little things, like doing household chores or errands, or helping with child care duties. Sometimes a partner secretly needs more reassurances despite putting on a brave front.

The basic gender disconnect is that women don’t have much practice in asking for help and men only know how to solve problems. By asking each other this question, you can explore your true needs.

9. Do we need professional counseling or other help for our marriage?

It’s a sign of strength to know when you need outside help to overcome your differences or communication breakdowns. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you decide you need marriage counseling, want to join a support group, or decide to meet with a therapist. When one partner is sick, it puts a tremendous burden on the relationship, even if it is a top-notch one.

10. What old rules do we need to break? What new rules do we need to establish?

Most relationships have unwritten but inviolable rules that govern everything from who takes the garbage out to how nutritious dinner has to be. This is the opposite of Best Question 2. Now we’re talking about what you do want to change.

Typically, the old rules involved household chores (who does what and when), favorite routines that need acceptance or permission (Friday night poker games or shopping sprees), and the little picky stuff (neatly folded laundry).

Figure out together which rules to keep or toss to match your current circumstances. A household’s unwritten and unspoken rules can be a source of unspoken assumptions, misunderstandings, and even great stress between partners. Call a truce on judging each other’s past actions, wipe the slate clean, and start over as a team effort.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dede Bonner, Ph.D., aka “The Question Doctor” and the author of The 10 Best Questions for Living with Fibromyalgia (Copyright © 2008 by 10 Best Questions LLC), specializes in creative breakthrough and money-saving Best Questions for corporate clients and CEOs. She is on the graduate business faculty of Curtin University in Perth, Western Australia, and is an internationally acclaimed expert in questioning skills and management. A former political analyst for the federal government, Dr. Bonner is the owner of New Century Management, Inc, and 10 Best Questions, LLC. She has a doctorate of education in executive leadership.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 10 Best Questions to Ask to Find a Top Alzheimer’s Specialist
• 10 Questions to Ask if Your Spouse Has Been Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease
• How Do I Find Help for My Parent With Alzheimer’s Disease?: The 10 Most Important Questions to Ask
• How to Spot a Bad Nursing Home: The 10 Questions You Should Ask
  
• When Should Dad Go to a Nursing Home?

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The 10 Best Questions for Living with Fibromyalgia
• Browse more books by Dede Bonner, Ph.D., aka “The Question Doctor”

Even people who maintain an optimistic appraisal of the benefits of antidepressant medications must acknowledge that no amount of medication can teach social skills. No amount of medication can teach someone to be a better or more empathetic listener or better source of emotional support for another person. No amount of medication can help someone develop friendships or a support group. No amount of medication can help isolated people who are wary of others become more approachable or skilled in their interactions. Simply put, drugs cannot solve the problems that lead many people into the pain and despair of loneliness and depression.

Depressed people, and those most at risk for depression, tend to view other people negatively. Do any of the following statements describe you?

• I am frequently hurt by other people.
• I am lonely or more socially isolated than I’d like to be.
• I can’t muster the energy it takes to be with others, call a friend or even just answer the phone.
• I generally avoid others whenever possible.
• I have a hard time developing and maintaining healthy relationships.
• I’m often angry at people.
• I am often disappointed by other people.
• I sometimes think people who are happy must be either naïve or stupid.

All the negative thoughts, feelings, and perceptions about other people you may have right now don’t just work against them, they work against you. By using the practical tools in Depression Is Contagious, however, you can change how you relate to others and how you relate to yourself. The positive psychology of bringing forth your best self through your relations with others is a clear path to feeling better. The research makes clear that people who recover from depression have actively learned a variety of new skills that can help them better build the lives they want.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D., author of Depression Is Contagious (Copyright © 2009 by Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D.), is a clinical psychologist and internationally recognized expert who lectures widely on depression, psychotherapy, and clinical hypnosis. He is the author of ten books, including Breaking the Patterns of Depression, Hand-Me-Down Blues, and Suggestions of Abuse. He lives with his wife, Diane, in Fallbrook, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Are Your Expectations Out of Line With Reality?
• Depression Is Contagious
• The Social Lives of Depressed People

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Depression Is Contagious: How the Most Common Mood Disorder Is Spreading Around the World and How to Stop It
• Watch a video with the author

Here is a list of No-Prep foods to pick up at the grocery or convenience store. These are great when you don’t have the time or place to fix something or can’t sit down in a restaurant to eat. No-Prep means just that — open and eat. Be sure to think about the number of protein, carbohydrate, and fat servings on your diet plan for the meal or snack you choose.

You will have to estimate the correct portion size using your hand. Product sizes vary all over the country. Your serving size is the amount allowed in terms of your hand size. Item location will vary by type of store.

Bakery

• Bagels (top with low-fat cream cheese or peanut butter) — Palm
• Raisin bran muffins (even better if made with liquid oil rather than hydrogenated oil) — Fist

Dairy/Alternatives

• Blueberry smoothie (such as Odwalla) — Fist
• Cheese sticks — Thumb
• DanActive probiotic dairy drink — Fist
• Laughing Cow cheese (doesn’t require refrigeration) — Thumb
• Milk chugs (single serving low-fat or skim milk) — Fist
• Slim·Fast (check for cold ones in deli or drink case) — Fist
• Snack size cottage cheese (such as Light n’ Lively) — Fist
• Soy drinks in smaller sizes such as
  • Coffee soylatte — Fist
  • Vanilla, chocolate — Fist
• Yogurt cups, low-fat and one third fewer calories (less sugar) — Fist
• Yogurt drinks (smoothies; there are so many of these that you must compare the labels to make the best choice) — Fist
• Yogurt tubes — Fist

Deli
Because these products vary greatly by store and recipe, one type of potato salad may have twice the fat of another choice. Compare your options and follow the portion guides, using your fist, palm, or thumb.

• Bottled water or flavored water without calories — Freebie
• Carrot raisin salad — Fist
• Deli baked beans — Fist
• Fresh fruit cups — Fist
• Garden pasta — Fist
• Green tea or other tea (canned with nothing added) — Freebie
• Greek style salad — Fist
• Hard-cooked eggs — Thumb
• Hummus and pita (such as Athenos Travelers) — Thumb
• Kosher garlic pickles — Freebie
• Macaroni salad — Fist
• Pimento cheese — Thumb
• Potato salad — Fist
• Red pepper hummus — Thumb
• Salata Mediterranean salad — Fist
• Shredded coleslaw — Fist
• Smoked salmon — Palm
• Soup of the day (non–cream based) with corn bread or other whole grain bread — Fist
• Subs and other sandwiches made with lean meats and topped with vegetables — Fist
• Summer rolls (typically found with sushi) — Palm
• Sushi — Palm
• Taboule — Fist
• Tropicana peach smoothie — Fist
• Turkey salad — Fist
• V8 juice with a lemon twist (there are several V8 flavors) — Fist
• White tuna salad — Fist

Miscellaneous

• Clif Bars, such as Crunchy Peanut Butter or Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch — Palm
• Granola or trail mix (ingredients really vary by brand, so compare them) — Fist
• Gourmet baked chips such as Kettle Krisps or Guiltless Gourmet — Fist
• Just Tomatoes and similar snacks, such as Just Mango, Just Raspberries, or Just Roasted Garlic — Fist
• New York flat breads (crackers) — Palm
• Nuts — Thumb
• Odwalla Bars such as Chocolate or Peanut Crunch — Palm
• Peanut butter crackers — Palm
• Peanut butter (also available in squeeze containers and individually wrapped slices) — Thumb
• Peanut butter–filled pretzels — Fist
• Popcorn, light — Two fists
• Pop-top cans of fruit or individual fruit bowls — Fist
• Pop-top tuna or tuna pouches — Fist
• Powerbar: Harvest — Palm
• Raisins and other dried fruit — Thumb
• Raspberry bars, such as Natural Choice — Palm
• Soy crisps, such as Genisoy Zesty Barbecue (other salty and sweet varieties available) — Palm
• Soynuts — Thumb
• Triscuits (reduced fat) — Palm
• Whole Food’s VERVE Bar, such as Peanut Butter Crunch or Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch — Palm

Energy Bars
Energy bars, trail mix, and trail mix bars can be quite high in calories, so compare them. They can even vary within the same brand. For example, some may have a coating that contains hydrogenated fat, so pay close attention to the ingredients as well as the Nutrition Facts label.

THE BEST ENERGY BARS HAVE:

• At least 3 grams of fiber, preferably 5 or more
• Low saturated fat grams and sugar grams (1 teaspoon sugar = 4 grams)
• 7–10 grams of protein for women and up to 15 grams of protein for men if used to replace a mini-meal or snack.
• No palm kernel oil, coconut oil, or trans fat, indicated by hydrogenated or fractionated fat

Produce

• Baby carrots — Freebie
• Carrots and ranch dip (such as Coolcuts) — Freebie
• Celery with dip (found in produce section) — Freebie
• Cut-up fruit:
  • Pineapple — Fist
  • Honeydew — Fist
  • Cantaloupe — Fist
  • Watermelon — Fist
  • Strawberries — Fist
• Fruit by the piece  — Fist
• Garden salad in a to-go container — Freebie
• Grapes by the bunch  — Fist
• Spinach salad in a to-go container — Freebie
• Tropicana juice bottles (found with juice, usually by produce) – Fist

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Dr. Susan Mitchell and Dr. Catherine Christie are the authors of Fat is Not Your Fate (Copyright © 2005 by Dr. Susan Mitchell and Dr. Catherine Christie), I’d Kill for a Cookie, and Eat to Stay Young. Dr. Mitchell, a registered dietitian, certified nutrition specialist, and fellow of the American Dietetic Association, has appeared on Today, CNN, and the TV Food Network. Dr. Christie, also a registered dietitian and certified nutrition specialist, is a fellow of the American Dietetic Association and president of the Florida Dietetic Association.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 4 Ways to Preempt Emotional Eating
• 6 Things That Can Derail Your Diet

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Fat Is Not Your Fate: Outsmart Your Genes and Lose the Weight Forever
• See the book’s Table of Contents

It is no secret that most children do not fancy those foods that happen to be the most nutritious. Also, it is important to keep in mind that children’s appetites are affected by their growth cycles, and for that reason they have different taste preferences than adults do. We have all heard the term fussy eater, which means a child is finicky about what he or she eats. From the age of one to five, it is not uncommon for kids to show erratic appetites, and for a child in the formative years, life is too downright exciting to stop for food.

The good news is that there are all kinds of ways to sneak the good stuff into your kids’ diets, clever little culinary schemes that ensure nutrition and satisfaction. Your kids will never know what hit them…

Here is our list of clever little things you can do to give your meals an extra kick of nutrients.

Sneaky Tips

1. Add fresh blueberries, which are chock-full of antioxidants, to a hot bowl of oatmeal or a bowl of cereal.
2. Roast up some sweet potato fries, which are fun and colorful, and you can season them for an extra kick. Best of all, sweet potatoes are an excellent source of vitamin A.
3. Drizzle honey on fresh fruit, such as sliced apples, strawberries, or pears, and stick toothpicks in them for a quick sweet treat.
4. Make fun-shaped ice pops using freshly squeezed orange juice or other fresh (low-sugar or unsweetened) fruit juices.
5. In general, smoothies are excellent opportunities to sneak in all kinds of nutrients and vitamins — so milk it! There are endless options for yummy smoothies, like raw cacao with vanilla yogurt and honey for a healthy chocolate milk shake, or bananas with low-fat milk, crushed ice, almonds, and dates for a sweet treat we like to call “monkey milk.”
6. Make fun bowls of healthy trail mix, using almonds, soybeans, raisins, goji berries, and other dried fruit. Keep the bowls out so everyone can nibble.
7. Make homemade soups using fresh vegetables, and zest them up with ginger, coconut milk, and all varieties of herbs and spices. You’ll be a star if you add whole wheat croutons, as kids are typically fans of a good crunch.
8. Quiche is another excellent camouflage for vegetables and has the added bonus of eggs, which are high in protein. It is a savory option for breakfast, lunch, or dinner — a meal in a slice.
9. Barbecues are fantastic ways to gather the family and enjoy food the purist way: slow-cooked on a grill over an open fire. Grilled chicken, meats, and vegetables like corn, zucchini, peppers, and broccoli always taste great on the grill. Add a few interesting dipping sauces, like humus or salad dressing, and you cannot go wrong.
10. In the spirit of hands-on foods, start thinking about foods like artichokes, which are fun, unconventional, and interactive and can be kicked up with all varieties of dipping sauces. Interactive fruits that you can peel easily and quickly like tangerines and clementines are also great to have around.
11. Just as effective as the interactive fruits is a heaping bowl of fresh fruit salad. Commit to making one every Sunday night, and you’ll see that everyone will pick at it throughout the week.
12. Make it colorful. Kids love things that are brightly colored, and wouldn’t you know it — the healthiest foods are popping with hue. Fruits and veggies come in all of the shades of the rainbow; so take this opportunity to make gorgeous canvases out of all your family’s meals.
13. Seeing is believing. What we mean by this is that the more your kid sees something — i.e., sliced apples on the high-chair tray — the more inclined he or she will be to try them one day. So if you have a finicky eater on your hands who does not want to taste broccoli, for example, dare to put a few broccoli florets on their plate (and everybody else’s, as well, of course) every day — and we can pretty much guarantee that one of those days, they will muster the courage to try it. This rule applies to almost everything your kids are not inclined to try.
14. Make healthy foods more fun and playful by cutting sandwiches, for example, into interesting shapes.
15. Try to keep mealtimes happy, social occasions. Don’t get too bent out of shape if a glass of juice is knocked over and spills, and try to keep the general atmosphere of meals positive and joyful. This will condition your kids (especially if they are fussy eaters) to get in on the fun.
16. Bake homemade muffins with your kids, and add carrot, zucchini, and pumpkin to the batter. This proves to them, in a sensory language that they can understand, that vegetables can actually taste delicious.
17. Add chopped veggies such as spinach to soup and pasta sauces; and likewise, add chopped tomato, diced celery, or grated carrots to tuna, chicken, and pasta salads.
18. Make pizza with your kids using a thin crust (ideally whole wheat) and low-fat, part-skim mozzarella cheese, and offer toppings such as chopped broccoli, fresh cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, and spinach.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Jorge Posada is an all-star catcher for the New York Yankees. Laura Posada is an attorney, a certified personal trainer, and CEO of Laura Posada, LLC. The couple lives with their two children, Jorge Luis and Paulina, in New York City. They are the authors of Fit Home Team: The Posada Family Guide to Health, Exercise, and Nutrition the Inexpensive and Simple Way (Copyright © 2009 by Jorge Posada and Laura Posada).

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• 7 Ways to Shrink the Sugar in Your Kids’ Diet
• How to Keep Your Kids Moving During the Winter
• Restaurant Rules 101: Tips for Eating Out as a Family

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Fit Home Team: The Posada Family Guide to Health, Exercise, and Nutrition the Inexpensive and Simple Way
• Watch a video with Jorge and Laura Posada

1. When were we most successful in communicating with each other in the past? How can we use the same methods now to deal with this illness together?

Reflecting on your past successes and analyzing why those communications were good ones is a positive way to start this conversation. It’s common sense to build from a position of strength and hope as you seek to reestablish your connections for the future’s challenges.

2. What areas of our lives must we maintain to ensure our normalcy for as long as possible?

Favorite routines, like going to church on Sunday, Friday night visits with the grandkids, or “meatloaf Mondays” can become precious when they are potentially threatened.

Few couples facing Alzheimer’s disease consciously consider their normal patterns and daily routines. Solve this problem together as a team by identifying your most essential core.

3. What changes in our relationship do we need to discuss, understand, and accept?

Your past roles and the division of labor in your partnership may be turned upside down after a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. You can’t change or control this disease, but you can at least consider how to cope with it together.

4. What is this like for you?

This question can uncover a hornet’s nest of complaints, feelings, or a silent shrug. As the spouse, it may not have occurred to you to ask a question so direct and simple. If you have AD, you may be so self-absorbed and frightened that you haven’t adequately considered your spouse’s perspective.

Relationship advisors Dr. Scott Peck and Shannon Peck of San Diego, California, commented, “There are many ways to bring the empowering combination of kindness and love into your marriage. One way is to ask simple direct questions . . . this can bring great healing power.”

5. How can we help each other deal with the additional stress in our lives?

It’s human nature to take the additional stress and fear of the unknown out on each other. Back up and analyze if this is happening in your relationship. If so, how can you get reunited as a team facing this diagnosis together instead of two lonely and isolated people, both angry and afraid?

6. How can I show you that I love you?

Be a “love pharmacist” and dispense your hugs like good medicine. If you want more, see the 10 Best Questions on sex and intimacy in Chapter 17, “The 10 Best Questions for a Caregiver’s Emotional Health,” page 194.

7. How can we still enjoy being together and have fun?

What’s something silly or easy that the two of you can do just like the old days? Get your favorite takeout pizza, rent your favorite movie, and watch it together without once thinking, “Alzheimer’s.” Now do it again.

8. What can I do to help you now and later?

Just knowing that the loved one’s AD temper tantrums aren’t personal can greatly relieve some spouses who might think they somehow are responsible. Finding ways to overcome your own anxiety attacks and letting the storms pass will help both the person with AD and the spouse/caregiver tremendously. This question also works as a springboard for financial and legal discussions.

9. Do we need professional counseling or other help for our marriage?

If you are already seeing an AD specialist, such as a geriatric psychiatrist, take advantage of her expertise and book an appointment just to discuss your marital difficulties. As the AD patient, this frank discussion will help you understand how your behavior changes are likely to affect your spouse. As the spouse/caregiver, you need practical advice for coping with current and future difficulties.

10. What old rules do we need to break? What new rules do we need to establish?

Over time, nonverbal communication becomes increasingly important as people with AD start to lose their language capabilities. Your reliance on words and abstract meanings in your communication won’t work as well any longer.

Old rules to break might include this reliance on words for communication. New rules include finding a different way of communicating that relies on simplified yes/no questions and a prearranged set of nonverbal hand signals or gestures. As the AD worsens, these new rules won’t be foolproof either. Discuss your own old and new rules — the ones that work for you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dede Bonner, Ph.D., aka “The Question Doctor” and author of The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s (Copyright © 2008 by 10 Best Questions LLC), specializes in creative breakthrough and money-saving Best Questions for corporate clients and CEOs. She is on the graduate business faculty of Curtin University in Perth, Western Australia, and is an internationally acclaimed expert in questioning skills and management. A former political analyst for the federal government, Dr. Bonner is the owner of New Century Management, Inc, and 10 Best Questions, LLC. She has a doctorate of education in executive leadership.

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• 10 Best Questions to Ask to Find a Top Alzheimer’s Specialist
• How Do I Find Help for My Parent With Alzheimer’s Disease?: The 10 Most Important Questions to Ask
• How to Spot a Bad Nursing Home: The 10 Questions You Should Ask
• When Should Dad Go to a Nursing Home?
• How to Talk About Your Fibromyalgia Diagnosis With Those You Love

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• Read the Introduction to The 10 Best Questions for Living with Alzheimer’s
  
• Browse more books by Dede Bonner, Ph.D., “The Question Doctor”

Your Resistant Brain
Although your brain can change, it usually won’t do so without putting up a bit of a fight. That’s because it is set up to resist change, especially sudden change. Your brain operates under the same principle as your body: homeostasis. Just as your body’s physiology works to keep parameters such as calcium, blood sugar, and weight stable, so your brain works hard to continue whatever behavior has become the norm. It seems to say, “Okay, I got you here with this behavior and you’re still alive, so just keep on doing what you’ve been doing and everything will be fine.” Your hypothalamus, in the center of your brain, is the master controller of homeostasis. The hypothalamus controls things like hunger, thirst, and body temperature. It also determines whether your stress response fires and whether reproductive hormones are released. The list of duties performed by your hypothalamus is long. All of the other parts of the brain, especially your emotional limbic system, fight to influence the hypothalamus.

Too rapid a change is interpreted as a stressful event by most brains. Your brain will automatically resist a sudden change in your behavior or routine, and just knowing this can be a big help when you are trying to switch from a not-so-healthful behavior to a healthful one. Studies using functional MRI scans of the brain have evaluated patients who were asked to make a change. If a patient is asked to make a big change, the scan shows activation of the amygdala (a-MIG duh-luh), the seat of the stress response. But if the subject is asked to make a small change, the amygdala remains quiet. People who are ultimately successful in initiating and maintaining major behavioral change usually do it through gradual, step-by-step changes. That’s how The Program works and, actually, why it works so well. I know it isn’t always easy to wait for results that take place gradually. People usually want instant gratification, but for most of us this just isn’t realistic. We need to accept the fact that most people’s brains are not well set up to handle rapid change. For the majority of us, slow and steady change is actually the quickest road to long-lasting results.

If you feel your motivation beginning to slip, it is probably because your brain is saying “Oh no, you don’t! I sense a change here, and I’m not going to let that happen.” This can leave you feeling frustrated and confused. How, you ask yourself, can you so desperately want to make a change one day but then come up with a thousand reasons not to the next? When this happens, remind yourself that this is simply an example of your brain working against you — doing what it thinks it has to do to protect you. You can outsmart it, though. Your brain will start to feel more comfortable with your new actions once you have repeated the new behavior many times, so start repeating the new action over and over again.

Another way to help your brain accept change is to work within a structure. Your brain is very rule-based, so it generally feels more comfortable when the rules are clearly defined. It takes less energy for your brain when you have a clear set of rules to guide it than when you have to make new decisions all along the way. The trick with structure, though, is that if you want to create lasting behavior change, you need to learn how to perform a behavior in all sorts of situations that may be outside the structure you are following. I know this sounds a little complicated, but it’s really not. Let’s look at the example of a weight loss plan that tells you exactly what to eat.

You may be very successful while you are on the diet because you don’t need to make any decisions about what to eat, but after you have lost the weight you have no idea how to eat in a healthful way on your own. The diet didn’t teach you that. Certainly, structure can be very helpful in the beginning, but pay attention to the process within the structure. The process (in this case the original diet) should show you how to create your own rules — rules that you can live with forever. This is what The Program is designed to do.

As you can see, it is not always easy to change the way you behave, but the good news is that you can do it. We know that if you practice a new behavior over and over for a long enough period of time, your brain will eventually decide that this new behavior is the one that needs to be protected and continued. The key words here are “over and over.” You need to repeat the new behavior for long enough to cement it permanently into your brain and therefore into your life.

Conclusion: Although your brain can change, it is generally set up to resist change, especially sudden change. People who are ultimately successful in initiating and maintaining major behavioral changes usually make the changes gradually, one step at a time.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Kelly Traver, M.D., author of The Program: The Brain-Smart Approach to the Healthiest You: The Life-Changing 12-Week Method (Copyright © 2009 by Kelly Traver, M.D., and Elizabeth Kelly Sargent), has been practicing medicine for more than seventeen years. She recently served as medical director at Google and is currently on the board for the Institute for the Future. Dr. Traver is the founder of Healthiest You, a company that works with corporations, health care organizations, and the government to help individuals become more empowered and engaged in their health.

Betty Kelly Sargent is a writer and veteran book and magazine editor, as well as a certified life coach.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 7 Strategies for Reducing Stress
• 10 Weight-Busting Ingredients and Easy Substitutes
• Embrace Change: How to Make New Actions Second Nature
• Top 10 Happiness Strategies: Scientifically-Documented Ways to Improve Your Mood

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 2 of The Program, a life-changing 12-week method
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For almost all of us, there’s a time when we need to run on a treadmill: too hot, too cold, unsafe area, time crunch, convenience. If for whatever reason you need to make friends with your local treadmill, these focuses should help. Running on the treadmill is prime time to practice many aspects of your technique.

• Posture. Whether you’re running or walking on a treadmill, it’s especially important to focus on good posture with every stride. Before you even push the start button, establish your posture from the feet up. In order to maintain good biomechanical efficiency, keep returning your focus to your posture throughout your workout. If there is a mirror nearby, use it to confirm your body alignment, while Body Sensing how it feels.
• Lean. The console/bar at the front of the machine gets in the way of a good lean and arm swing, so stay about an arm’s length back from the bar at all times. I have found it harder to lean and get my feet landing behind my center of mass on a treadmill. Setting your treadmill to a slight incline can help with this (start with a minimum of 1; I found 1.5 to 2.0 to be the best for me). Keep your ankles relaxed and be sure to keep your heels comfortably down on your landing.
• Midfoot Strike. Keep your stride quick and short and lift your feet to help minimize the impact transferred to your legs by the moving belt. Exaggerate the heel lift a bit more on the treadmill because there is no forward momentum to help your feet travel in a circular path. Be aware of not letting your foot swing forward into the oncoming belt. Instead, your feet should be landing with a midfoot strike, moving in a rearward direction as you make contact with the treadmill.
• Begin by setting the speed at a slow enough pace that you can comfortably jog while instating the ChiRunning focuses.
• Practice pelvic rotations with each stride. Every time your leg swings out behind you, let your hip be pulled back with it. This allows your entire lower body to rotate along your vertical axis and absorb much of the shock of your foot hitting the treadmill.
• Use a metronome on the treadmill to set your cadence. Most people have a very slow cadence on the treadmill — as low as 70. Keep your stride short and quick. Make achieving your optimal cadence a top priority.
• Practice running at different speeds with the same cadence. Mary Lindahl, one of our Master ChiRunning Instructors, explains it beautifully in this letter: “My first major ‘aha’ experience with ChiRunning came just after I had bought my metronome and was matching my cadence to it, while running on a treadmill. I warmed up for a mile and got used to matching my stride to the beep, then I increased the speed of the treadmill by a minute per mile. I had this unusual feeling of slowing down to continue matching the metronome, yet I knew I was running faster as the speed shown on the treadmill didn’t lie. I thought, ‘If I can feel like I’m slowing down yet know I’m running faster, I want this technique!’ I literally got off the treadmill, went upstairs to my computer and looked for the next ChiRunning workshop. I felt lucky to have had this experience on the treadmill as I might have thought I was imagining the extra speed if I was on the open road. The beauty of the treadmill is that it can take some things that are usually variables and make them constants.”
• Practice the Lateral Stride. Set the treadmill to an incline of 5 and run for thirty seconds straight ahead, toward twelve o’clock. Then turn your body to the left — toward ten o’clock — for 30 seconds. Go back to twelve o’clock for 30 seconds, then to the right toward two o’clock for 30 seconds, then back to twelve o’clock again. It takes only a few minutes to get used to the feeling of running with your body turned to the side. Repeat this cycle as many times as you like. One thing that you can Body Sense is how much more difficult it is to run with your body facing forward than rotated to the side. On a treadmill you can make the grade of the hill and your running speed both constants.
• Videotape yourself. You can get instant feedback by setting up your video camera to observe your running gait. You can also use a mirror to get good feedback — or even use your reflection in a TV screen.
• Watch your shoulders to see if you’re keeping them square to the front (correct) or whether you’re rotating them with your arm swing (incorrect).
• Practice running barefoot. Run barefoot for a few minutes at a time to break any habit of heel striking. This helps you become aware of how you are landing on your feet so that you can Body Sense better when you have shoes on.
• When you get off the treadmill, picture the earth like a treadmill. All you have to do when you’re running is pick up your feet and let the earth pass by underneath you.

Things to be careful of when practicing ChiRunning on a treadmill:

• Be careful not to let the treadmill do too much of the work for you. This can happen with a slow cadence because your foot is in the support phase too long. I recommend lifting your heels as quickly as possible, which results in a quicker cadence. Make achieving your optimal cadence (usually 90) a top priority if you run on a treadmill.
• Follow the principle of Gradual Progress when adjusting to running on a treadmill, or adjusting to the streets again after a winter of treadmill running. When first running on a treadmill, you may find it harder until you get used to balancing on the moving belt. Most people who get used to doing lots of miles on treadmills find that returning to the streets creates much more impact on their legs. Asphalt and pavement are much harder surfaces than the average treadmill surface.
• The quality of the treadmill can cause experiences to vary. The less expensive models have more spring to them, which may be harder to balance on in the beginning, but they also provide more cushioning. The more expensive “club” models do a better job of imitating running on the road, as they require less balancing and create less vertical displacement. They also have much more stability during faster running. The longer the treadmill the better and the easier to adopt the ChiRunning lean.
• Log some miles on the road. Most people say treadmills are easier on the legs than pavement or asphalt. Training on the treadmill is okay for some of the time, but it is important to mix in some mileage on the roads. Your body needs to be acclimated to concrete or asphalt, especially if you’re training for a distance event.
• Avoid doing prolonged speed work (intervals, tempo runs, etc.) on the treadmill. The moving belt can introduce more impact at the landing, and that impact is magnified by speed. For safety reasons, it’s just not the place to run faster than a comfortable aerobic pace. So whether you’re simply maintaining your aerobic base or doing marathon training, always keep it easy on the treadmill. If you want a little more of a workout, you can slightly increase the amount of incline.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Danny Dreyer, author of ChiRunning (Copyright © 2004 by Danny Dreyer), is an esteemed running and walking coach and accomplished ultra marathon runner, finishing in the top three in his division in thirty-nine ultra marathons. He is an international speaker, and has been seen on CNN, NBC News, and the Discovery Channel, and has been covered in Runner’s World and Running Times.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Perfect Running Form

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to ChiRunning: A Revolutionary Approach to Effortless, Injury-Free Running
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Browse more books by Danny Dreyer
• “Perfect Running Form” by Danny Dreyer

I know I’m not the first person to tell you that exercise is good for you. You’ve heard the mantra many times before. But let me say that if there’s one magic bullet for enhancing the quality of your looks, and your life in general, it’s exercise. The science is well documented: Exercise fights the onset of age-related disease, lifts your spirits and sense of well-being, increases your lung capacity so you can take in more oxygen, boosts circulation to deliver nutrients to cells and skin, lowers inflammation, and, for many, is said to be the ultimate stress reducer. That healthy glow you get after a great workout (rosy cheeks indicative of the increased circulation that is nourishing all those facial cells and tissues) isn’t just for show.

This Is Your Brain on Exercise. There’s no end to the number of studies that prove the mind-beauty connection in relation to exercise. As I was writing this book another fresh study emerged clearly showing that exercise causes your brain to turn up production of certain brain chemicals known to have antidepressant effects. The researchers also found that exercise excited a gene for a nerve growth factor called VGF. VGFs are small proteins critical to the development and maintenance of nerve cells. Even more fascinating is the fact that the study brought to light thirty-three VGFs that show altered activity with exercise, the majority of which had never been identified before. It’s proof that we still have more to learn about our genes and the power that our habits can have on them.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Amy Wechsler, M.D., is a dermatologist and a psychiatrist, one of only two doctors in the country who are board-certified in both specialties. She is also the author of The Mind-Beauty Connection (Copyright © 2008 by RealAge Corporation). Evidence of the mind-beauty connection walks into her office every day: “Premature aging and adult acne are the two most common skin problems I see, and stress and exhaustion are often at the bottom of both,” she says. Dr. Wechsler practices in New York City, where she lives with her husband and two kids. She is a member of the RealAge Scientific Advisory Board.

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• Antiaging Products: What Really Works
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• 7 Tricks for Getting a Better Night’s Sleep
• SOS for the Stressed: 7 Stress Management Tips
• Top Tips for Avoiding Razor Burn

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• Watch the video: Get more beauty tips from Dr. Amy Wechsler
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Reducing consumption of animal protein sometimes means looking beyond ordinary milk, and there are good alternatives, made from nuts, grains, and legumes. Just be sure to read the labels. Most are sweetened; look for packages that specifically say “unsweetened.” Many are flavored with vanilla or even chocolate (which you might like as long as you’re not expecting plain). And some, especially nut milks, include gums or other ingredients.

Soy milk: Almost as high in protein as cow’s milk, soy milk makes a fine daily alternative for coffee, tea, and cereal. It’s also handy because it separates less during heating than other milk alternatives; this sometimes makes it a good substitute for baking and cooking.

Nut milk: A great choice for desserts, grain dishes, and thick soups, since it actually adds a welcome flavor to any dish that takes to the taste of nuts. Also, really nice as a replacement for cream or half-and-half in coffee.

Oat milk: With a consistency similar to low-fat or skim milk, oat milk is good for drinking but a little thin for cooking. It has a neutral taste and a pretty golden color.

Rice milk: Slightly sweeter than oat milk or soy milk, this has a neutral flavor and a thin, almost watery consistency.

Coconut milk: With a lovely flavor and a thick consistency, coconut milk is ideal for desserts and Asian soups, stews, and sauces; it heats up beautifully. Though it’s quite high in fat, light or reduced-fat coconut milk is usually a fine substitute.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mark Bittman is the author of Food Matters: A Guide to Conscious Eating with More Than 75 Recipes (Copyright © 2009 by Mark Bittman), How to Cook Everything and other cookbooks, as well as the weekly New York Times column, The Minimalist. His work has appeared in countless newspapers and magazines, and he is a regular on the Today show. Mr. Bittman has hosted two public television series and is currently appearing in a third.

LEARN MORE

• Watch a video about how to make quick, easy, and fresh meals a realistic option for your family
• Read the Introduction to Food Matters: A Guide to Conscious Eating with More Than 75 Recipes
• Browse more books by Mark Bittman

Metabolic Booster: Eight Hours of Sleep
If you sleep more, will you weigh less? The body of evidence that says yes continues to grow, proving that sleep could be just as important to maintaining ideal weight as what you eat and how much you exercise.

Our knowledge about the power of sleep has become clearer in recent years. In late 2004, studies began to emerge that showed a strong connection between one’s sleep patterns and one’s ability to lose weight, igniting a new public interest in sleep. Two groundbreaking studies in particular — one from the University of Chicago and the other from Stanford University — demonstrated the effects of sleep on the balance between two important hormones that tell you whether you are hungry or full.

One of these hormones — leptin — is released by fat cells to indicate the level of fat stores available to the body. The other hormone — ghrelin — is released by the stomach to signal hunger. So leptin says, “Stop eating,” whereas ghrelin says, “Feed me.” When you are sleep­deprived, leptin levels are reduced and ghrelin levels increase. A lower leptin level tells your body that you do not have enough fat stored, and a higher ghrelin level tells your body that you are hungry. Together, they send signals to the brain that the body needs more energy, and the brain then creates signals that typically result in your storming the kitchen and eating a lot. Since those first studies, many others have been published that also show the damaging effects sleep deprivation can have on metabolism and one’s ability to curb cravings. If you’ve ever had a hard time controlling cravings for sugary snacks and carbs after a bad night’s sleep, you may be able to blame it on your lack of sleep and the resulting imbalance of appetite hormones rushing through you.

Aside from these hormonal factors, however, there’s a practical relationship between sleep and weight loss that deserves note. Face it: when you don’t get enough sleep, your energy is lower during the day. This can negatively influence two factors — food consumption and physical activity. When the body feels tired from a lack of sleep, it seeks to increase energy by consuming food. This is when cravings for salt, fat, and sugar hit hard. And when you are tired, you’ll be likely to engage in less physical activity, further slowing down your metabolism.

The bottom line is that getting a full eight hours of sleep is critical to maintaining your metabolism — no matter in which phase of the diet you are. If possible, increase your sleep to nine hours in Phase One and Phase Two. I know that this much time is hard to find, but if you choose sleep over television or reading during these phases, your metabolism will thank you and your weight loss will improve.

Nutritional Supplement Tip: Natural Sleep Aid
Many people today have difficulty falling asleep or sleeping through the night. Some opt for sleeping pills, which may help in the short term but pose many risks in the long term, including chemical or psychological dependency. Interestingly, one major conclusion from all the studies is that insomniacs are better off without sleeping pills than with them.

There are safe alternatives to sleeping pills, however. You can improve your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep by using a well-­formulated nutritional supplement that features a combination of proven vitamin, mineral, herbal, and other natural ingredients to support your sleep cycle naturally and safely. Look for a formula that contains the ingredients described below. (Remember that with any supplement it’s important to consult your physician before starting a regimen, especially if you take any prescription medication that could potentially conflict with ingredients in the supplement.)

Minerals in such a formula include calcium and magnesium, both of which have a calming effect on your brain. Magnesium deficiency has been shown to produce sleeplessness by altering electrical activity in the brain. Calcium helps convert the amino acid tryptophan to melatonin, a natural hormone that can make you sleepy. A formula that also contains a small amount of melatonin, which is naturally secreted by the pineal gland at night to help us sleep, can be particularly effective in regulating cycles of waking and sleeping. The addition of 5-HTP, a direct precursor to the feel-good brain chemical serotonin, can help, too. Serotonin not only is known to enhance sleep but also helps to combat depression, as well as to aid in weight loss by helping to regulate appetite.

Two members of the B vitamin family — niacin and inositol — play an important role in helping us sleep. Like other members of the B family, these vitamins help reduce anxiety, which can keep us awake at night. Niacin also aids sleep through its role in synthesizing serotonin. Inositol also helps regulate this important neurotransmitter.

There are a number of herbs on the market that can safely be used to improve sleep quality through a mild sedative effect. These include valerian root, passionflower, hops, lemon balm, chamomile, and skullcap.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Brenda Watson, C.N.C., is the bestselling author of The Fiber35 Diet: Nature’s Weight Loss Secret (Copyright © 2007 by Brenda Watson) and The Detox Strategy: Vibrant Health in 5 Easy Steps and is one of the foremost dietary authorities in America today. She has gained national recognition with her televised PBS special, Brenda Watson’s H.O.P.E. Formula: The Ultimate Health Secret. Ms. Watson has two grown children and currently lives in Florida with her husband, Stan, and their dogs.

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• 3 Ways Aerobic Exercise Boosts Your Metabolism and Helps You Lose Weight
• One Ingredient That Helps You Reduce Calories in Four Ways

LEARN MORE

• Hear Brenda Watson talk about the inspiration for The Fiber35 Diet and her own struggle with weight
• Read the Introduction to The Fiber35 Diet
• See the book’s Table of Contents

Reclaiming the Body You Were Meant to Have
This is an exercise in claiming yourself and your life so thoroughly that all areas find a new structure, one that is natural and desired by you. Intuition will allow you to guide yourself to your own unique and appropriate method of living and changing. If your way of conducting your life is no longer getting you the results you want, chances are that you are stuck in an outmoded, defensive style. At some point in your life the defense and the sacrifices you made to maintain it served you, may even have saved your life, but now you have other choices. The first and greatest element in change is choice, and the greatest tool of change is awareness.

Let us begin. You can do this exercise while sitting, while listening to music, or even washing dishes. There is no right way to do this. Right now I want you to experience your body exactly the way you want it to be. Don’t visualize and don’t use an idea of someone else’s body that you admire. Pretend that you are a sculptor, and using the clay of your own body, as you inhabit it, create the body you want. As you do this, use all of your senses as your tools. How does it feel, taste, smell, sound, look to be in your body? What has changed inside of you? How do you feel about yourself and the world around you? You don’t have to focus or make a big process of doing this. Remember, you can be doing something else at the same time.

What will happen is that all of the things in your life — your thoughts, your body, your history, and your patterns that don’t allow you to be in this new body — will come to your awareness. This will not happen all at once, but in layers. Notice these things (you may even want to write them down), and then go back to sculpting. You may even want to take this new body for a test drive, moving around the room in it. You don’t need to block the negative observations or messages about your body that may come up as you do this. Notice them, go back to sculpting, and breathe. You may find that emotions come up for you, or that people or situations come to mind. Bring your focus back to sculpting your body from the inside out. The longer that you can stay with this exercise in attention, the more powerfully you can make a profound change. The interference, the judgment, the despair, and the anger are all part of the process; they are not distractions but instead are all part of changing the pattern of energy that has kept you trapped where you no longer want to be.

Continue to move from your distractions back to your sculpting. The you who you no longer want to be is not the overweight you; there is so much more to it. The weight is just a symptom, and as you continue to sculpt and allow yourself to be aware of the other distracting information, bringing yourself back again and again to the you that you are creating now, you master fully inhabiting the life you want and uncover the skills within you to do so.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Laura Day, author of How to Rule the World From Your Couch (Copyright © 2009 by Laura Day), is the New York Times bestselling author of Practical Intuition and has spent over two decades helping companies as well as individuals use the power of intuition to create their dreams.  Her global clientele includes celebrities, scientists, business executives, and other professionals.   She speaks regularly both here and abroad.

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• How to Put Passion in Your Relationship
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LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of How to Rule the World From Your Couch
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Modifying Recipes
If you like to cook and experiment with recipes, you’re lucky because you will be able to have a lot more control over what you are eating. You can make substitutions in recipes that make the foods more healthful without sacrificing flavor. Here are some substitution tricks:

• When a recipe calls for fat (butter, margarine, or oil), you can substitute applesauce in a one-to-one ratio. Or you can add a fat (preferably olive or canola oil) but cut the amount in half; you will save 100 calories for every tablespoon of fat you eliminate.
• For sour cream, use nonfat sour cream or nonfat yogurt (or a mixture of the two).
• For mayonnaise, use light or nonfat mayonnaise.
• If cream is called for, use low-fat or nonfat milk or evaporated skim milk. You may need to decrease the amount of milk slightly, depending on the recipe.
• If you are watching the number of eggs you’re eating, you can substitute two egg whites for every one egg that is called for. Or you can cut down on the number of whole eggs you would otherwise use by alternating every whole egg with two egg whites.
• When you sauté, you can use a nonstick cooking spray. If you are stir-frying, try putting just a little oil in the pan and then adding other liquids such as water, broth, tomato juice, fruit juice, or wine for added moisture.
• If cheese is in the recipe, use low-fat or nonfat cheese or select a cheese with 5 or fewer grams of fat per ounce. If you want the flavor of the real thing but not all the extra fat and calories, use only half the amount of cheese called for.
• If ground beef is in the recipe, use lean ground turkey (it should contain approximately 3 grams of fat and 55 calories or less per ounce). If you choose lean ground beef, reduce the amount by half and increase other items such as vegetables, pasta, or rice to bulk up the meal.
• If a recipe calls for baking chocolate, use 3 tablespoons of cocoa and 1 tablespoon of water or oil for every ounce of chocolate in the original recipe.
• Finally, have fun when you’re cooking and don’t limit yourself to just these ideas. I bet you’ll find lots of people happy to sample your work and let you know how you did!

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Kelly Traver, M.D., author of The Program (Copyright © 2009 by Kelly Traver, M.D., and Elizabeth Kelly Sargent), has been practicing medicine for more than seventeen years. She recently served as medical director at Google and is currently on the board for the Institute for the Future. Dr. Traver is the founder of Healthiest You, a company that works with corporations, health care organizations, and the government to help individuals become more empowered and engaged in their health.

Betty Kelly Sargent is a writer and veteran book and magazine editor, as well as a certified life coach.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 7 Strategies for Reducing Stress
• Change Your Brain, Change Your Routine, Change Your Life
• Embrace Change: How to Make New Actions Second Nature
• Top 10 Happiness Strategies: Scientifically-Documented Ways to Improve Your Mood

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 2 of The Program, a life-changing 12-week method
• Browse more books about health and fitness

Know Your Fighting Weight. In all likelihood, the most common way you’ve measured your so-called dietary success or failure is by pounds lost. If you’ve lost down to your target weight, then you’ve won. If not, you’ve lost. But the reality is that over the long term, all of us will intermittently gain and lose small amounts of weight, even when we’re trying to lose it. For one, our water weight often fluctuates depending on what we’re eating. The reason why so many low-carb dieters lose weight fast is because the lack of carbohydrates causes them to lose glycogen stores from their muscles, and with this loss of glycogen comes a loss of a lot of water; as soon as they reinstate the carbs, the glycogen comes back to the muscles and attracts the water. That adds the pounds right back. So the first five to eleven pounds of weight loss on a low-carb diet is the fake loss due to a temporary loss of water.

Instead of tracking your weight by a single goal weight, of say, 145 pounds, what you’re going to do is pick your weight class. You’re going to pick a range of weight that’s comfortable for you — say, 142 to 148 pounds (or 31 inches to 33 inches of waist size). When you divulge your weight to someone (not that anyone will be asking), it should never be in one number; you need to think of your weight as an ideal range. For one thing, this allows for the natural fluctuations that occur. For another, it also does something even more crucial to you psychological success: It stops you from focusing on some arbitrary number that promotes the idea of all-or-nothing success of failure. And it puts your mind in the right programming mode — to remind yourself that your body is supposed to change.

Stay Accountable. You can use your weight range to tell when you’re pushing the upper boundaries of your ideal weight/waist with periodic checks using a measurement too — be it a tape measure around your waist, a scale, or, hey, how about a plastic waistband that you keep around your waist to alert you when you’re getting too big, like a large version of one of those Lance bracelets? Whatever your accountability tool, we suggest checking it every Saturday around midday to keep yourself honest with your weight and waist class. Think of your body as a rubber band, stretch it a little, and it can certainly snap back into shape. But once you stretch it too much, it’s going to lose its shape and make it more difficult — if not impossible — to return to the original size.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Michael F. Roizen, M.D., is a New York Times bestselling author and cofounder and originator of the very popular RealAge.com website. He is professor and chair of the Division of Anesthesia, Critical Care Medicine, and Pain Management, and chief wellness officer of the Cleveland Clinic. Mehment C. Oz, M.D., is also a New York Times bestselling author and the health expert of The Oprah Winfrey Show. He is professor and vice-chairman of surgery at New York Presbyterian Columbia University and the medical director of the Integrated Medicine Center and the director of the Heart Institute. They are the coauthors of YOU: On A Diet (Copyright © 2006 by Michael F. Roizen, M.D., and Oz Works LLC, f/s/o Mehmet C. Oz, M.D.) and YOU: On a Diet Revised Edition.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHORS

• 4 Foolproof Energy Boosters
• 7 Tips for Controlling Your Hunger’s On and Off Switches
• Get Great Guts: 4 Ways to Slow the Aging Process by Caring for Your Digestive System
• Protect Those Baby Blues
• The Truth About Aging: 5 Principles of Longevity

LEARN MORE

• Browse more books by Dr. Mehmet Oz and Dr. Michael Roizen
• The easiest way to achieve success, an exclusive essay by Dr. Mehmet Oz

Weigh yourself daily: According to the National Weight Control Registry, a study of thousands of people who had lost an average of sixty-six pounds and kept it off for five years found that dieters who are most likely to maintain their weight step on the scale daily. Weigh yourself at least five times per week, if not daily. If you’re tempted not to weigh yourself on any given morning, examine that excuse. If I had a nickel for every client who pleaded, “Please don’t weigh me this week,” I would have a few bagfuls of nickels. It’s on the days that you most don’t want to weigh yourself that you probably most need to step on the scale. Your reluctance stems from your premonition that the number will be high. Just get on the scale. If it’s more than two pounds above your idea, deal with it.

Go shopping: There’s nothing like a credit card bill to keep you on track. Buy your new stronger, tighter body lots of clothes. I’m talking Neiman Marcus clothes. I’m talking Ann Taylor. I’m talking J. Jill clothes. I’m talking “the-clothes-I-really-want-but-are-too-expensive” clothes. Once you buy them, you better make sure your body stays in shape while you pay off those credit cards. How? Simple. Stay on the plan.

Work out first, do everything else second: It’s easy to think: “I’m busy, I’ll do my work out later.” Instead, I want you to think: “I’m busy, I’ll do my work out now.” If possible, do a workout on Monday mornings. I’ve noticed that most of my clients are more emotionally and physically rested on Mondays than they are on any other day of the week. They also have a lot of adrenaline in reserve, physical energy that they can pour into their workout. As the week progresses, however, problems at work or complications at home tend to burn people out, and their workouts become less effective and less enjoyable. When they switch to a Monday workout routine, they feel strong and confident all week long, which translates into more effectiveness at work and home.

Challenge someone: Be boastful. Tell your teenage son or nephew, your spouse, your brother, or a friend that you’re stronger than he or she is. Choose someone half your age or male. Choose someone who is going to say “Yeah right” when you make that “I’m stronger” statement. Put money on it. Create a huge wager. The loser has to clean the house, rub your feet, cook dinner, whatever. Make a wager that you’ll really enjoy. Then challenge him to a Wall Sit or a Plank. Get on the wall or the floor and see who can hold the longest. I’m willing to bet that you’re going to blow this poor guy’s doors off. Of course he could do more reps than you. He can probably hoist more weight than you, but he probably doesn’t have the endurance to last longer on the wall or in the plank. I know this because I’ve seen it time and time again. I’ve seen sixty-year old women outlast thirty-year-old men. I’ve seen forty-five-year-old moms outlast their sixteen-year-old sons. There’s nothing like the realization that you are stronger than a man or someone half your age to keep you motivated for more.

Do it with your spouse, a friend, or your kids: An exercise partner not only makes the workout seem more fun but he or she also can guilt you into doing it on those days when you’d like to tell yourself that you are too busy.

Keep a supplement reserve on hand: Want to know why most people stop taking their supplements? They run out. As I’ve mentioned, this used to happen to my coauthor all of the time. Then she came up with this ingenious solution. She now buys two of everything. When she kicks the main bottle and starts on the spare, she writes “get multivitamin” on her to-do list.

Keep simple staples on hand: Simple staples are those foods you turn to at the end of the week when you’ve run out of groceries. They are the foods you eat when you are too tired to cook, and they are the foods I want you to turn to whenever you are craving fake food. Avocado, salsa, baby carrots, and cucumber, for example, all last a long time in the fridge and they all can be used for a quick real-food meal. Just smash up the avocado, mix it with the salsa, and dip the carrots and sliced cucumber in it. Voilà. You’ve got a real food meal in minutes, and it took less time than driving to the closest fast food restaurant. Here are some staples to keep on hand at all times:

• Whey protein for shakes.
• Avocados.
• Hard-boiled eggs.
• Cans of water-packed tuna and wild salmon.
• Nuts and seeds.
• Olives, especially the more flavorful varieties such as kalamata.
• Ricotta cheese.
• Bell pepper, cucumber, baby carrots, and any other veggies that you like to eat raw.

Create easy weeks: We all get busy from time to time. We all celebrate holidays, travel, and otherwise find ourselves with weeks from hell. When that happens, I want you to use home workout Level 1. Don’t feel guilty about this. If you can’t get to the gym, you can’t get to the gym, but you can do something, and home workout Level 1 is it.

Keep the faith: The longer you follow the plan and the more often you recommit, the better your long-term success. It’s just like any habit. It’s hardest in the beginning. The more you get yourself back on track, the less often you will fall off the wagon in the future, and the more easily you’ll climb back on once you fall off.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pete Cerqua, author of The 90-Second Fitness Solution (Copyright © 2008 by Peter Cerqua), is one of New York’s most respected and in-demand fitness trainers. He has been helping people lose weight since the 1980s, and he continues to increase his fan base through the four gyms he owns and runs in the New York City area. Visit Pete online at www.90-secondfitness.com.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Fact or Myth? You Should Always Stretch When You Work Out
• True or False? Women Won’t Bulk Up If They Lift Light Weights

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The 90-Second Fitness Solution
• Watch a video about Pete Cerqua’s 90-second fitness program and book
• Read and watch it: Discover The 90-Second Fitness Solution vook
• Learn more about Pete Cerqua

Don’t take your to-do list to bed. Write down the next day’s list early in the evening and stick it in your bag or on the fridge. Then you won’t start anxiously making mental notes the minute your head hits the pillow.

Take something. Sometimes, to kick insomnia and get back on a better sleep cycle, all you need is to break the pattern. My cheap, super-simple, method: Take an antihistamine 30 minutes before bed (regular Benadryl — not a non-drowsy formula! — works fine) for one to three nights. Antihistamines make many people sleepy. No prescription needed.

Alternatively, try valerian herbal tea or the combo of chamomile and valerian in Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Extra Wellness Tea. It definitely helps some people. Others swear that melatonin, the sleep-regulating hormone you can find now in a supplement form over the counter, helps them, but I’m not a fan. The amount in different products can vary wildly, despite what the labels say. It may not work for you, and its long-term safety has yet to be determined. (It’s also highly unlikely that you have a melatonin deficiency; you simply need to establish better sleep habits.) I’d rather see you sleep according to your own body’s clock and rely on your own production of natural melatonin. If your body clock is off, try getting some natural morning sunlight on you, do some exercise during the day, don’t stay up until the wee hours of the morning cleaning house, and set aside time to wind down before bedtime.

Try a bedtime snack. The best bedtime snack is one that has both complex carbohydrates and a little protein, plus some calcium. Calcium helps the brain use the amino acid tryptophan to manufacture melatonin. This explains why dairy products, which contain both tryptophan and calcium, are one of the top sleep-inducing foods. And by combining carbohydrate together with a small amount of protein, your brain produces serotonin, the pleasure hormone with strong ties to mood.

Get out of the bedroom. We all think that if we lie in bed long enough, sleep will come. Instead, our minds tend to get busier and our muscles tenser as we stress over being awake. Give it a rest. If you can’t get to sleep within twenty minutes, slip out of bed and go to a safe haven — a place that’s comfy, has dim lighting, and no distractions. Just sit comfortably. Or do your breathing exercises. Or read. No e-mail, television, or other electronics, though. The point is to give your mind-body a respite from trying so hard to nod off. After twenty minutes or so, go back to bed and see what happens when you’re more relaxed. Repeat once or twice if necessary.

Make like a corpse. Assuming the yoga corpse pose (savasana) is, well, a little like playing dead. Basically, you lie on your back on a cushioned surface, legs slightly rotated out, arms at your sides but not touching your body, palms up. Then slowly s-i-n-k into the pose, breathing naturally and letting your whole body go limp. Stay in this position for a few minutes, or for as long as you like.

R-e-l-a-x. Progressive relaxation, an effective technique that’s been used since the 1930s, couldn’t be simpler. It’s also worked for me ever since I was a homesick kid at sleep-away camp for the first time and couldn’t sleep at all. A counselor taught it to me and I still use it when I need to. What to do: Stretch out in bed and, one by one, squeeze and release all the muscles in your body, starting with your scalp and working down to your toes. Ironically, tightly tensing up your muscles before relaxing them helps them relax more than just plain relaxing them.

Let scent send you to sleep. Aromas widely considered to be relaxing are rose, lavender, vanilla, and lemongrass, but different ones work for different people (some people find lavender stimulating). If one calms you, keep a sachet near your pillow at night to whiff at will, or use a scented hand lotion.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Amy Wechsler, M.D., is a dermatologist and a psychiatrist, one of only two doctors in the country who are board-certified in both specialties. She also is the author of The Mind-Beauty Connection: 9 Days to Reverse Stress Aging and Reveal More Youthful, Beautiful Skin (Copyright © 2008 by RealAge Corporation). Evidence of the mind-beauty connection walks into her office every day: “Premature aging and adult acne are the two most common skin problems I see, and stress and exhaustion are often at the bottom of both,” she says. Dr. Wechsler practices in New York City, where she lives with her husband and two kids. She is a member of the RealAge Scientific Advisory Board.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Antiaging Products: What Really Works
• 5 Biggest Beauty Bargains on the Planet
• 6 Snacks to Attack Insomnia
  
• Get Active: Why Exercise Helps You Look and Feel Better
• SOS for the Stressed: 7 Stress Management Tips
• Top Tips for Avoiding Razor Burn

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction of The Mind-Beauty Connection: 9 Ways to Reverse Stress Aging and Reveal More Youthful, Beautiful Skin
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Watch an on-location video with the author

The Chinese have known of the medicinal benefits of green tea for at least four thousand years. Just as grapes and wine were spread throughout the world initially by the Phoenicians and later by other traders, tea was introduced to countries worldwide by tradesmen and travelers. The health benefits of green tea border on the unbelievable and are very similar to those described for resveratrol and red wine. The secret of green tea is that it is extremely rich in catechin polyphenols, the same catechins found coating the seeds of grapes and in wine.

The tea plant itself has the scientific name Camellia sinensis. Although it is native to China, it has spread to and is now cultivated in many countries across the world, predominantly in the tropical and subtropical zones. Black, green, oolong, and white tea are all prepared from the same leaves. The difference is in the harvesting, drying, fermentation, and roasting. Black tea roasting takes place after the harvested leaves are crushed and undergo browning (also called fermentation or oxidation). Oolong tea is allowed to undergo moderate drying and fermentation. Green tea is created when the tea leaves are steamed or heated immediately after harvesting. White tea is made from young tea buds and does not undergo fermentation. The fermentation and oxidation process naturally reduces the polyphenol content of black tea. Green tea and white tea have the highest concentrations of the active catechins because they do not go through this process. Therefore they are the best dietary source of this compound. Catechins represent 80 percent of polyphenol flavonoids in green tea, whereas in black tea they represent approximately 20 percent to 30 percent.

There are now thousands of scientific articles detailing the wealth of health benefits provided by catechins found in green tea.

• Antioxidative and anti-aging effects: The catechins found in tea are twenty-five to one hundred times as potent as vitamins C and E. One cup of green tea provides more antioxidant activity than a serving of broccoli, spinach, carrots, or strawberries. This activity reduces the damaging effects of free radicals.
• Anticlotting effect: Green tea catechins act on blood platelets to prevent stickiness and clotting, reducing the number of strokes and heart attacks.
• Antiviral and cold prevention effects: Green tea catechins attach themselves firmly to the surface of the flu virus and prevent it from infecting the human oral and nasal mucous membranes. Red wine and tea also protect against hepatitis C.
• Control of high blood pressure: Green tea catechins suppress the enzyme that contracts blood vessels, easing high blood pressure.
• Cancer prevention: Catechins in green tea interfere with cancer development in all three stages.
• Green tea catechins control cholesterol by blocking enzymes in the intestine that contribute to the absorption of cholesterol. They suppress LDL and elevate HDL.
• They control high blood sugar levels by suppressing the enzymes that break down sugar into glucose.
• They maintain healthy intestinal flora by decreasing the number of harmful bacteria and fostering the growth of “good” bacteria such as bifidobacteria.
• They contribute to weight loss: Together with the caffeine in tea, catechins accelerate the burning of fat. Men given a combination of caffeine and green tea extract burned more calories and lost more weight than those given only caffeine or a placebo.
• They prevent bad breath: Catechins neutralize unpleasant oral odors by reducing oral bacteria.
• They prevent tooth decay: Catechins have a strong antibacterial effect and prevent the buildup of dental plaque.
• They inhibit osteoarthritis: Studies using human cartilage cells demonstrated that a catechin known as ECGC protects against inflammatory degeneration and arthritis.

There are several additional points to keep in mind. To obtain these dramatic health benefits from green tea, relatively large amounts must be consumed. A minimum of three to ten cups a day is recommended. Larger amounts, up to ten cups a day, have been used for cancer prevention, and in Japan these are supplemented with additional green tea tablets for the treatment of cancer. Also, not all green tea is equal in its content of catechins. Premium green teas contain at least 100 milligrams of the catechin EGCG, whereas some green tea bags from commercial food giants can contain one-third or even less. Brewing is a major factor, too. Unless you are drinking a fusion, in which the green tea is already dissolved in water, the tea bag should be placed into boiling water for approximately three minutes to get the maximal diffusion of polyphenols.

Caffeine content also is a factor. Green tea usually contains about 20 percent of the caffeine found in a cup of regular coffee. High consumption may cause agitation, anxiety, and irritability in those susceptible to caffeine.

Lemon and milk are frequent additives to various teas. The citric acid in lemons appears to enhance the absorbability of the catechins in green tea. Milk, on the other hand, may negate some of the health benefits, particularly in black tea. (The casein proteins in milk are thought to adhere to the catechins and offset some of their health benefits.) One researcher suggested that the reason that the British, who are passionate about tea, have failed to make as much headway against cardiovascular disease as the French with their red wine and the Asians with their green tea is their penchant for adding milk to their tea.

Despite extremely high consumption in some countries, the only negative effect reported from drinking green tea is insomnia secondary to the caffeine content. These observations parallel the absence of side effects seen in similar studies using resveratrol.

About the Author
Dr. Joseph Maroon, the author of The Longevity Factor (Copyright © 2009 by Maroon Enterprises), studied medicine at Indiana University, Georgetown, and Oxford University. He began his practice in 1982 at the University of Pittsburgh, where in 1999 he was named the Heindl Scholar and Vice Chairman of the department of Neuroscience. In 1986, he was named President of the Congress of Neurological Surgeons, the largest society of its kind in North America. He has been the team neurosurgeon for the Pittsburgh Steelers for the past 20 years, and has developed a computerized scanning system to evaluate concussions that has been adopted throughout the NFL, NHL, NBA, NASCAR, as well as more than 1,000 high schools and colleges. Maroon has remained an active athlete since college, having competed in more than 50 triathlons, including 5 Ironman competitions.

Learn More

• Read Chapter One of The Longevity Factor: How Resveratrol and Red Wine Activate Genes for a Longer and Healthier Life
• Watch a video with the author about the science behind living longer
• Watch a video about why resveratrol is so popular

Chinese herbs for heart health: the big 5
Many midlife women develop plaque buildup in their arteries, especially the coronary arteries, due to loss of elasticity in the blood vessels and a natural increase in cholesterol. Follow your cardiologist’s recommended protocols — and discuss using nature’s help, too, with the herbs in this traditional Chinese formula:

1. Ginseng reduces cholesterol and has shown positive effects on blood vessel elasticity.
2. Dong quai, or Chinese angelica root, is traditionally used to treat blockages and help increase blood flow.
3. Sacred pine contains a potent antioxidant called picnogenol in its bark, needles, and nut that helps reduce inflammation in the blood vessels, lowering the risk of plaque buildup.
4. Gingko also increases microcapillary circulation and expands blood vessels.
5. Hawthorn berries reduce fat and mucus accumulation, purify the blood, and improve blood flow.

These herbs are available separately or as a combined supplement from Chinese pharmacies and in some health food stores. Some of the herbs, like gingko, possess mild blood-thinning properties and may interact with blood-thinning drugs. You must talk to your medical doctor and cardiologist before you take these herbs if you are already taking prescription medications.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Maoshing Ni, popularly known as Dr. Mao, is a 38th-generation doctor of traditional Chinese medicine and an authority in anti-aging medicine. At the Tao of Wellness in Santa Monica, California, Dr. Mao and his associates have treated more than 25,000 women. Known on Sex and the City as “Dr. Wow,” Dr. Mao lectures internationally and has been featured on radio and television as well as on the pages of The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, and many other publications. He is the author of Second Spring: Dr. Mao’s Hundreds of Natural Secrets for Women to Revitalize and Regenerate at Any Age (Text copyright © 2009 by Dr. Maoshing Ni).

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• 5 Easy Steps to a Healthier You
• 6 Tips for Building the Strongest Bones Your Body Can Have

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction from Second Spring: Dr. Mao’s Hundreds of Natural Secrets for Women to Revitalize and Regenerate at Any Age
• Browse more books about health

Myth: Women Need Light Resistance and Lots of Reps
Let me tackle this myth by telling you a story. In the book One More Rep by John Little and Robert Wolff, the authors describe one of the workout routines used by a champion bodybuilder, Flex Wheeler. For his shoulders, Flex did four sets of fifteen reps of side laterals using only twenty-five-pound dumbbells (which is very light for him). For adding size to his shoulders, he added reps and took those twenty-five-pound dumbbells up to sixty reps per set! This is typical of what many top bodybuilders would do to get that freakish “Michelin Man” look. Most women’s workout routines resemble a version of a top bodybuilder’s workout. If a top bodybuilder would start doing my 90-Second Sets, he would lose his pump faster than most people lose diet willpower when they sit down to Thanksgiving dinner.

If I’ve learned one thing in more than twenty years of training thousands of people, it’s that high-rep weight training can result in only two outcomes:

1. If the weights are too light, it does nothing at all.
2. If the weights are heavy enough to do anything, it makes you look like Flex Wheeler.

But, you’re thinking, women can’t add bulk. At least, that’s what all the experts keep saying. Well that’s a bunch of hogwash. Yes, women don’t have the testosterone levels to add as much muscle as male bodybuilders do. (Okay, so I was exaggerating just a little when I said you’d end up looking like Flex Wheeler.) Women can add bulk, though. A woman with a ten-inch-circumference bicep is not going to be able to double the size of her bicep (at least not without some pharmaceutical help), but she can certainly add an inch of size. I don’t know too many women who want to grow their biceps by an inch. That’s not sexy in a spaghetti strap, but that’s what happens when you go low weight, high rep. To lose inches, you need to lift heavy. With my approach, you’ll gain strength without adding bulk. You’ll get stronger as your body grows smaller.

Take Wendy. Wendy was in her midforties when she came to me. Wendy knew she needed to exercise to age gracefully. She knew that strength training was the way to go. With a hectic schedule and limited information, she’d hired a personal trainer. Her trainer put her through the standard three sets of twelve reps on about a dozen exercises. Even though Wendy was getting stronger and healthier from her workouts, her arms were getting bigger than her husband’s.

A friend of Wendy’s was already getting great results with me. Wendy liked how her friend looked, so she decided to give my method a try. She was skeptical, of course. “I bulk up too easily,” she said. I said, “No problem. I’ll make you twice as strong and get rid of that pumped look you’re carrying around.”

In eight weeks, Wendy got rid of the bulk! Now twice as strong, she can wear spaghetti straps without feeling self-conscious about her arms.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pete Cerqua, author of The 90-Second Fitness Solution (Copyright © 2008 by Peter Cerqua), is one of New York’s most respected and in-demand fitness trainers. He has been helping people lose weight since the 1980s, and he continues to increase his fan base through the four gyms he owns and runs in the New York City area. Visit Pete online at www.90-secondfitness.com.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 9 Motivational Tricks to Help You Stick to Your Diet or Exercise Program
• Fact or Myth? You Should Always Stretch When You Work Out

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to The 90-Second Fitness Solution
• Watch a video about Pete Cerqua’s 90-Second Fitness Solution
• Read and Watch it: Discover The 90-Second Fitness Solution vook
• Learn more about Pete Cerqua

Reducing your calories — i.e., going on a restricted-calorie diet — is the key to losing weight; there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Unless you reduce your intake below the number of calories that you need each day to maintain your current weight, weight loss is simply not possible (without a surgical procedure such as stomach stapling or liposuction). So the key to a successful weight loss program is to reduce your calories while you are trying to lose weight, and to eat no more than the calories that you need to maintain your weight once you have achieved your ideal weight. That’s where fiber comes into play, because it helps you to reduce calories in four compelling ways:

1. Fiber curbs your appetite, helping you to reduce intake.
   
2. Fiber actually helps reduce absorption of calories from the food you eat.
   
3. Fiber-rich foods are low-energy-density foods. In other words, you get to eat a lot of food without eating a lot of calories.
   
4. Fiber slows down your body’s conversion of carbohydrate to sugar, thus supporting blood glucose stability to help you lose weight.

That’s quite a combination! Now you understand why I consider fiber a miracle ingredient when it comes to losing weight. Imagine. One ingredient halts hunger, reduces calorie intake from the food you eat, helps stabilize your blood glucose (and so reduces overeating), and allows you to eat plenty of food that is low in calories and high in nutrient-rich disease fighters.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Brenda Watson, C.N.C., is the bestselling author of The Fiber35 Diet: Nature’s Weight Loss Secret (Copyright © 2007 by Brenda Watson) and The Detox Strategy: Vibrant Health in 5 Easy Steps and is one of the foremost dietary authorities in America today. She has gained national recognition with her televised PBS special, Brenda Watson’s H.O.P.E. Formula: The Ultimate Health Secret. Ms. Watson has two grown children and currently lives in Florida with her husband, Stan, and their dogs.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 3 Ways Aerobic Exercise Boosts Your Metabolism and Helps You Lose Weight
• If You Sleep More, Will You Weigh Less?

LEARN MORE

• Hear Brenda Watson talk about the inspiration for The Fiber35 Diet and her own struggle with weight
• Read the Introduction to The Fiber35 Diet
• See the book’s Table of Contents

How many reps should I perform of each exercise?
Most people use too light of a weight/tension and perform far too many reps. To optimally build long, lean muscles, you should never perform more than ten reps with proper form at full range of motion. If you aren’t hitting failure by the tenth rep, then the weight/tension is too light. You should increase by the smallest possible increment until you find a weight/tension that challenges you to hit failure on or before the tenth rep, without compromising your form or risking injury.

How many sets of each exercise should I perform?
That depends at what level you are starting. As a true beginner, one set (to failure) is all that you need to effectively build long, lean muscles (which is what you will do in Phase I of this plan). As you strength train consistently for two weeks and get more comfortable, I will ask you to go to two sets for one-half of the exercises in the program. You may either perform two sets in a row, one right after the other, or you may perform your entire series of exercises, then repeat to do the second set. Both styles get the job done effectively. As you progress to a more advanced strength and resistance program, you should be performing three sets of the exercises, but this will not be required in the eight-week plan.

What is the optimal speed for each repetition?
Ideally, a rep should take two counts on the way up and four counts on the way down. Using our original example of a bicep curl, that means counting “one, one thousand, two, one thousand,” as you curl the weight up, and four such counts on the way down. Researchers have found that eccentric training causes more microtrauma (which is the scientific term for tiny tears) to the muscle than concentric training, and it therefore more efficiently promotes muscle growth. The concentric part occurs as you contract (shorten) the muscle (curl up the bicep), and the eccentric part occurs as you lengthen it back out to starting position. Because you want to stress the muscle more on the movement that will get you better results, a slow two-count is perfect for the contraction, but you want to take twice as much time to lower the weight back to the starting position.

Can I perform strength training every day?
Yes, but you have to alternate body parts, because it takes twenty-four to forty-eight hours for a muscle to repair itself after strength training. If you plan to exercise on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, the best strategy is to do total body training all three days. You will have Tuesday, Thursday, and the weekend to repair and build the muscles. If very busy weekdays require you to do strength training on Saturday and Sunday, then you should work your upper body on one day (do two sets of each exercise, since you are cutting the number of exercises in half) and the lower body on the other. Your third workout should be on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, and it should work the total body. An exception to this rule is your “core” — abdominals, obliques, and lower back. Because of the relatively small amount of muscle fiber in each, they can be worked every day.

Make sure you always take off one day a week. My program is only three days a week, but I know that some people get into an exercise program and give it all they’ve got right from the very start. While this type of motivation is great, it’s very important to make sure you take one complete day off each and every week. This enables your body to repair, and you will jump back into your program stronger than ever after the rest.

NOTE: Young men frequently go after their strength-training program so aggressively that they over-train and minimize the benefits of the exercise. Proper recovery and repair of the muscle are vital to achieving the best results.

Since I had been doing cardio for my lower body, can’t I just do strength training on my upper body?
No — cardio never really developed your lean muscle tissue in your lower body, and it may even have depleted it. I find that most women want to train only their lower body, while men want to train only their upperbody “beach” muscles. But you want to train all your muscles to maximize your whole body’s lean muscle tissue. What’s more, Men’s Health reports that Norwegian researchers have found that beginning lifters gain upperbody strength by doing lower-body exercises. When you strength train and place resistance against your muscles, you trigger a release of hormones, which will stimulate muscle growth throughout your body. Since your lower body uses the largest muscles, they release more muscle-building hormone, benefiting the entire body.

Should I feel sore after my workouts?
When beginners start an exercise program, they frequently complain of what’s known as delayed-onset soreness. Most researchers do not know why some people experience more soreness than others, and the whole science of soreness is a bit of a mystery. But if you are not sore, it does not mean your strength-training program has been ineffective. If your body weight and composition are changing, you are getting the job done. Let the scale and your clothes be your guides.

NOTE: “Good” soreness is “Oh, I worked my triceps yesterday, and when I squeeze them today, I can feel that they were worked.” “Bad” soreness is “I did some squats yesterday and my knee is bothering me.” Please, always be aware of which soreness you are experiencing, and if it is of the bad variety, see your doctor.

If I stop strength training, will my muscle turn to fat?
Muscle and fat are two totally different tissues in your body, with completely different purposes and therefore independent functionality. If, for whatever reason, you ceased strength training (which I hope never happens), then you will lose some of the muscle you have increased and preserved, and that will lead to a diminished metabolism. If you continue to consume approximately the same number of calories, the extra calories that you used to burn up to maintain your muscle will now not be burned up. They will be stored as fat. So the muscle does not actually turn into fat, but the reduction in your lean muscle tissue will lead you to a lower metabolism and result in you carrying more body fat.

I used to be in much better shape. Will that help when I go on the Cardio-Free exercise plan?
If you performed strength training in the past, or held a job that required you to lift and carry heavy things, your body, at one time, possessed more lean muscle tissue. When you begin the Cardio-Free exercise plan, your body will remember what you are telling it to do, and you will increase your lean muscle tissue faster than a true beginner. They call this muscle memory. But true beginners, don’t let this fact discourage you. You too will see drastic changes in your body in a very short period of time.

I find that I hold my breath when performing strength training. What is the optimal way to breathe?
There is a general rule that works very effectively: Exhale on the contraction, or exertion, and inhale when returning to the starting position. Please make sure never to hold your breath. Breathe slowly, as if you are sipping the air in and blowing it out through a straw. When you breathe in slowly, you optimally fill up your lungs with oxygen, which is in demand as you challenge your muscles. Proper breathing also provides you with core stability, helps you to align your body, and, as an end result, prevents injury.

Should I stretch before or after strength training?
The answer is neither. Stretching before exercise is never recommended. Think of your muscles as cold rubber bands. What happens when you try to stretch the cold band? Odds are, it’s going to possibly break or, at the very least, tear. The exact same thing occurs when you attempt to stretch a cold muscle. Now, the benefits of post-exercise stretching are hotly debated. One group says you must stretch your muscles out after strength training. They believe that in order to build long, lean muscles, you must stretch them out before the tiny tears repair over the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. The other side believes that a properly balanced strength-training program effectively stretches out the body. Let’s again use the example of a bicep curl. When you curl up, you are simultaneously lengthening and stretching the triceps muscles. Right now, curl your arm up. Do you see how the triceps lengthened? When you perform strength training in a safe, controlled manner while working a full range of motion, you are effectively stretching the muscle opposite the one you are training. This is called reciprocal inhibition, and it is my recommendation. Do you remember when I said that performing strength training gave you heart-health benefits and an increased metabolism? I referred to it as a “two birds with one stone” solution. When you add flexibility as one more benefit, it truly becomes a “three birds with one stone” phenomenon.

What about Pilates and yoga?
I have a love-hate relationship with both Pilates and yoga. Let’s start with Pilates. I don’t like the mat classes. It’s just another class asking you to perform way too many repetitions without failure. Pilates performed on the Reformer and the Cadillac equipment can be an effective strength-training tool and can enhance posture and core strength, but the instructor must apply significant progression for it to be effective. The majority of instructors I have observed don’t make the exercises hard enough to shock your muscles into growth.

Yoga has become extremely popular. For a true beginner, there is some benefit to your muscles when holding the poses. Similar to Pilates, there are also benefits to your posture. The problem comes when applying progression, since the only option is to hold the pose longer. You can’t increase the weight or tension, because all the moves are done against your own body weight. Therefore, unless you are willing to increase the duration (find a longer class or double up) or the frequency (go more often each week), yoga alone won’t get the job done. Both Pilates and yoga are good complements to a strength-training program, but on their own, they are not solutions for losing weight.

On a final note, celebrities (many of whom are paid) have been huge advocates of Pilates and yoga and have endlessly preached their benefits in print and in infomercials. The vast majority of these young women were very thin in the first place. How many women do you know who have truly lost weight simply with Pilates or yoga? I’m in the industry, and I don’t know of any.

Glamour magazine reported the results of a Chicago versus New York versus Los Angeles challenge in its February 2005 issue. Every woman was placed on the same eating plan, but there were three different exercise plans. In L.A. it was Yoga Booty Balance class, which “combines fun, heart-pumping moves with a dash of yoga;” Pilates was the exercise in New York, led by a guru who has worked with the likes of Madonna and Uma Thurman; and in Chicago it was yours truly and strength training. Who won? Come on, would I mention this article if I didn’t win? My group took it in a virtual landslide, with a total of fifty pounds and a whopping eighty-four inches lost. What was the secret? They performed heavy-duty strength training. And to this day, they have kept almost all of it off. One of the women just had her second baby and weighs less than she did before the first baby, and her pre-pregnancy jeans — before the first baby — are falling off.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Named one of the best personal trainers in the country by Allure magazine, Jim Karas is the author of The Cardio-Free Diet (Copyright © 2007 by Jim Karas), as well as the New York Times bestseller The Business Plan for the Body and Flip the Switch. He is a graduate of the Wharton School and the founder of Jim Karas Personal Training, LLC, which has trained more than five hundred clients in Chicago and New York.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Strength Training 101
• Turn Back the Clock by Going Cardio-Free

LEARN MORE

• Read “The Body Weight Equation,” Chapter 2 of The Cardio-Free Diet
• See the book’s Table of Contents

When you think about the energy use and cost of appliances — refrigerators, washers, dryers, dishwashers, and stoves especially — you need to think about two factors: the average life cycle of the thing and the amount of energy it uses during its life. That’s the only reliable way to make sense of its real cost. The one with the lowest price tag may end up costing you much more over the course of its life than a more expensive one. It’s just like light bulbs. Fortunately, most of the electronic appliances sold today have bright yellow and black EnergyGuide tags on them so we can compare the energy use and cost of different makes and models. And if you’re shopping for any kind of appliance, choose the one with the Energy Star label. Energy Star’s requirements are much more stringent than the federal minimums and the savings can be significant.

Here’s another thing to consider: Let’s say you have a refrigerator that’s past its normal life span but still working just fine. Why replace it, right? But if you bought it, say, during the 1980s, or even much more recently, a new one will be vastly more energy efficient, and therefore replacing it will be cost effective.  In that case, it might be more sensible economically to spend money on a new fridge than to keep the old one, even when you include the embodied energy cost of producing the new one and disposing of the old one. For more information, you can go to energystar.gov and find out how much you can actually save.

In the meantime, though, here are ways to reduce the energy and financial cost of using the most common home appliances:

• Refrigerators. We have warm seasons and cold seasons and in-between seasons, but when was the last time you adjusted the thermostat on your refrigerator or its freezer compartment? Do you have any idea what the actual temperature is in either section? I sure didn’t, and the manufacturers don’t help us any. Usually the only temperature choice you have is “warmer” and “colder” on a revolving dial. That tells you nothing. The temperature in your refrigerator should be above freezing, but not higher than 40 degrees Fahrenheit, and for the freezer, not higher than 5 degrees Fahrenheit. Go to a hardware store and buy an inexpensive refrigerator thermometer, drop it in a glass of water, and leave it in the fridge for twenty-four hours (for the freezer, just put the thermometer between two frozen packages). Then adjust the thermostat accordingly; you’ll save big on energy costs by keeping the fridge at about 38 degrees Fahrenheit. You’ll also save by vacuuming the refrigeration coils behind or under the unit; they have to work much harder if they’re coated in dust and lint. Finally, do the dollar test. Stick a dollar bill between the fridge and its door in several places; if it pulls out without tugging, it means the rubber gaskets that seal the door are shot, and that means wasted energy. Have them replaced.

• Dishwashers. Automatic dishwashers — especially new ones — are far more efficient, in both energy and water use, than washing dishes in a sink… and way more fun! But don’t turn that dishwasher on unless it’s fully loaded. And just scrape off any leftover food, don’t rinse it off. Today’s dishwashers don’t require pre-rinsing, and you’re just using up energy and water from your hot water tank. Many of today’s washers will boost the temperature of the wash water to the required 140 degrees Fahrenheit. That way you can keep your home water heater turned down to 120 degrees. Finally, let the dishes air dry; turn off the power dry feature.

• Cooking Ranges. First of all, natural gas stoves are more energy efficient and cleaner in the long run than electrical stoves (remember, a lot of our electricity comes from coal-burning power stations). If you do buy a new gas stove, make sure it has an electronic ignition system; pilot lights, which are always on, can use as much as 40 percent more gas. Whichever kind of stove you have, use a cover on any pot in which you’re boiling something; that speeds up the process and, naturally, takes less energy.

• Get “Unplugged.” Now think about all the other electrical appliances in your house — the television, video player, stereo, cell phone chargers, other battery chargers, microwave, computers, the lot. Even when they’re off, they’re actually on. If you see a light, or the clock on your microwave, those pieces of equipment are still sucking in electricity. It might be as little as a burning incandescent light bulb, but when you think of how many of those light bulb equivalents are left burning twenty-four hours a day, it really adds up. Your best bet? Wherever most of your entertainment equipment is, plug them all into a surge-protected power switch and snap it off when you’re not actually using them.

And while we’re on the subject of power, did you know you may well have the choice — and we’re all about choices here — to have some or all of your electricity come from strictly renewable sources, like wind power and biogas? It’s true. And finding out is simple. The U.S. Department of Energy’s Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy division has an easy-to-use Website that lets you know. Go to eere.energy.gov/greenpower/ buying/buying_power.shtml and click on your state. That will bring up a list of the utilities in your state that offer such options. There may be a small surcharge to participate, but think of the message you’re sending the power company when you make that choice!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sloan Barnett, author of Green Goes with Everything: Simple Steps to a Healthier Life and a Cleaner Planet (Copyright © 2008 by Sloan Barnett), is a regular contributor to NBC’s Today show and the Green Editor for KNTV, the NBC affiliate in San Francisco. She has been a television and print journalist for more than ten years, and wrote a popular consumer advice column for New York’s Daily News for nearly a decade. She lives in San Francisco with her husband and three children. For more information, please visit greengoeswitheverything.com.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• How to Buy Organic Without Breaking the Bank
• Why Are You Wearing Lead on Your Lips?

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Green Goes with Everything: Simple Steps to a Healthier Life and a Cleaner Planet
• See the book’s Table of Contents

Pre-workout
If you’re getting ready for a workout, you have to take into account what you’re going to be doing. The average workout, regardless of sport, usually works all types of muscle fibers, taxes your body’s glycogen stores, calls upon fat for fuel, and pushes you hard for long periods of time. To give your body the best chance of (figuratively) surviving these tests of fortitude, you have to give it the right fuel. You wouldn’t expect to see the world’s best race car drivers putting cheap and inadequate fuel into the engines of their high-priced, top-of-the-line vehicles, so don’t do it to yourself.

Carbohydrates (glucose) are stored as glycogen in the body. During exercise, these stores are called upon at higher intensity levels. Because fats are broken down and put to use slowly, they are usually burned during lower-intensity exercise. Because workouts consist of both low- and high-intensity sets, you need both in your pre-workout meal, with fats being consumed in lesser quantities. Protein, a source of amino acids and the major component of muscle, should also be consumed to keep up your strength and round out a well-balanced meal that will prepare your body for the stress that will ensue.

A quality breakfast would include things like whole grains, whole wheat bread, and oatmeal (but not the instant kind) as sources of carbohydrates.

Peanut butter is an example of a tasty source of unsaturated fat, assuming you choose an organic brand.

Organic foods in general are good options, but you have to remember that in most countries the rules aren’t very clear on what can and can’t be considered organic. Often, people pay three or even four times the amount of a similar product simply because it says “organic” and it’s really of no better quality than the alternative. But as a practice, remember that the more food is altered frozen, cooked, fried, processed — the more nutrients are taken away. As such, we encourage you to get foods as fresh as possible and cook them as soon as possible.

When thinking of your protein needs, yogurt and fat-free or low-fat milk are choices of dairy products that also provide fat. Eggs are not only a good source of protein but also the most obvious breakfast food.

Something worth considering is your approach to breakfast. What do you consider breakfast food? Many bodybuilders eat chicken, steak, or fish every morning. They eat oatmeal at what most people consider “dinnertime.” Oatmeal is a food that most people enjoy, but simply at a later time of the day. Don’t forget that the nutritional value of a food doesn’t change, so if you enjoy it and don’t mind having it within your first meal or two of the day, you should give it a try.

During Workout
Generally, in the realm of exercise nutrition, people think of only “pre” and “post” exercise nutrition. By doing so they’re missing out on a very valuable opportunity to replenish the body and increase peak performance. Science has told us that glycogen stores are about depleted when exercise exceeds 45 to 60 minutes, leaving the body with less functional fuel to use. At this point, something like a single carbohydrate gel packet or sixteen to thirty-two ounces of a carbohydrate drink is of great benefit to the training athlete. Another commonly marketed option is bars. Gatorade and PowerBar both make several of these products, but we generally recommend against them during and immediately after exercise because they take much longer to break down and become useful. Thus we consider the other options superior choices for consumption during strenuous activity.

Of the gels and drinks you can find or make on your own, it generally comes down to a personal choice. Which do you prefer? Both are quickly broken down, and both — if made of quality ingredients — will help you fight off fatigue during long sessions of training. Even Gummi Bears can come through in a pinch.

For some people, drinks with high sugar content can be upsetting to their stomach. If this happens to you, don’t worry — it isn’t uncommon and may very well make the decision — gel or drink — easier to reach.

Oddly enough, some coaches still hate to see their athletes taking in these types of carbohydrate supplements. Some say that they’re nothing more than marketing, while others take more of an “old-school” approach and assume that if they didn’t need them, no one does. Luckily, science has disproved the initial argument, and a slew of world records in all sports over the past decade may push away the latter. One study conducted back in 1983 by the American Physiological Society, well before the vast majority of marketed supplements hit the shelves, found that carbohydrate supplementation during exercise greatly increased the amount of time it took athletes to reach a level of fatigue that altered their performance. Countless studies since have proven those same results.

Post-workout
By the time a workout is over, whether it was an hour of lifting weights, a two-hour swim, or running long distances preparing for a triathlon or marathon, the body has used up its glycogen stores and many muscle fibers have been broken down and are in need of repair. Fats, being the most abundant source of fuel in the body and more slowly broken down, are of less importance at this stage.

Immediately after a workout, exercising athletes should be on a mission to repair the damage done. It’s the best thing one can do to prepare himself or herself to come back better next time. You want fast-acting sources of carbohydrates, and you want amino acids that can be put to work right away to repair lean tissue.

Many athletes have a favorite brand of protein powder that they like to take after exercise. This is a great start; a whey protein powder is a fast-acting, easily and quickly digested nutrient source that will go a good way toward repairing your muscles. Unfortunately, it isn’t enough. It’s like getting dressed and forgetting to put your shoes on: you’re missing something. Most protein shakes don’t have much sugar, which is generally a good thing at other points of the day. After intense training, though, you want something to blunt any catabolism — muscle breakdown — taking place in the body.

There are some good options out there pertaining to products that include carbohydrates and protein together, but these are often highly touted as some miracle supplement (which they aren’t) and thus are quite costly. If you want to go the shake route, which is used with great results by countless elite athletes, a simple solution is to buy your favorite brand of plain whey protein powder and add dextrose sugar, which is the food industry name for the biologically active form of glucose, a monosaccharide.

Regular table sugar is a disaccharide and its technical name is sucrose. Because of the structural difference, plain cane sugar has to be broken down into glucose before use. As such, it makes more sense, to aid in the quickest recovery, to ingest the simplest form of sugar with your post-workout shake. You can find this in some food stores, but also online at a variety of retailers.

Many people dislike the taste of protein powders, calling them “chalky” or simply not caring for the artificial flavors many possess. For these people, another beneficial drink to take in (remember, liquids are easier to digest than whole foods and thus superior in this situation) is a yogurt drink. Yoplait makes Nouriche and Dannon has created Frusion. Generally these products contain a 4:1 ratio of carbohydrates to protein, which is called the “optimum blend” by many nutrition experts.

So at this point we’re going to assume you have your favorite food picked out to have in your bag, or at least somewhere readily available, as soon as you hop out of the pool. Don’t be afraid to mix it up every once in a while; even if you find something you like, it’s a good idea to go with something else you like for a couple days here and there. That way, you don’t get bored with it. There isn’t much worse in the nutrition realm than finding some delicious, nutritious food that you soon begin to pass on because you tire of it. Ask any competitive bodybuilder how he feels about chicken and broccoli, and you’ll quickly understand!

While the intake of nutrients immediately after you finish your exercise session is fairly important, true post-workout nutrition is only beginning at this stage. Your muscles don’t grow (or repair) while they’re under stress — as when working out — so you have to give them what they need when they do have the opportunity to regenerate. That time is between workouts. Equally important after that initial liquid intake of nutrients is a whole-food meal rich in complex carbohydrates and solid proteins. At this point, adding a little fat into your meal isn’t a real issue, but fats do slow the digestive process and for that reason we generally suggest keeping them to a minimum right after working out and i n the first full meal afterward.

As mentioned in the breakfast section, if it’s something you enjoy, there’s really no food that can be eaten only at a certain time of day. That said, eggs are again a great choice here, as are brown rice, potatoes, fish, and chicken. Take this meal sixty to ninety minutes after you finish your liquid meal.

Before Bed
The final meal of the day is often the most neglected in many respects: it’s the one you take right before going to bed. When should it be eaten? What should it consist of? When these are answered, the next question is “Why?”

People tend to look at sleep as a peaceful time, a time of “nothing,” because aside from their dreams, they don’t consider it a stage where much happens. That opinion is actually about as far from the truth as one could get. Sure, you dream, but the body undergoes more repair and growth during sleep than it ever could while awake.

Many people have heard of human growth hormone. It usually gets a bad rap — maybe you just saw on television another athlete busted for cheating with it — or it’s marketed as some wonder drug for those wanting to fight aging. In any case, a certain amount of this hormone occurs naturally in the body and can provide a host of benefits when allowed to do so.

Human growth hormone in the body is secreted by the pituitary gland. Its principal functions are to stimulate not only growth, as the name suggests, but cell repair. The major release of this hormone in the body takes place after you fall asleep. During sleep, the body also tries to repair the muscles, rest the mind, and revitalize after a hard day. Obviously, the more sleep (to an extent) you get, the better you feel. But still, even after a continuous eight hours of sleep, many people — especially athletes — wake up feeling weak and tired. Generally, this is because their bodies have been breaking down during the night instead of building up. This happens because proper nutrients haven’t been fed to the body for several hours.

Because you don’t eat during sleep, your body can use only what it has on hand. Effectively, your repair during sleep is about as productive as your last meal. Was it rich in nutrients, or was it something high in insulin-spiking sugar like ice cream?

As you’ve seen, proper nutrition involves a vast change from the traditional “three square meals” model. If you eat breakfast upon waking, lunch at noon, and dinner after work, you’re really at a disadvantage because on top of those eight hours of sleep, you didn’t eat in the three or four hours you were last awake.

Truth be told, there’s very little you can do this side of intravenous injection — which is obviously not an option — to provide your body with amino acids throughout the course of an entire night’s rest. What you can do, though, is give your body the best possible source of vitamins and minerals prior to bed that, if taken in the proper forms, can slowly break down and trickle into your system while you rest.

Eating before bed has been known to cause problems for some people in the form of stomach discomfort. Sometimes this is because the timing is new to their body, and it will go away after a couple of days’ practice. Others merely can’t handle the influx of food before lying flat on their backs for hours at a time. In general, though, people are receptive to this new meal. If you’re not, practice with different foods until you find one that works for you, because there’s bound to be something available.

We talked earlier about nutrient timing when it had to do with workouts. As you see, there’s no difference before sleep. You need the right nutrients at the right time.

Protein supports muscle growth, carbohydrates promote active energy, and fats are a source of fuel and vitamins. At this stage, because we aren’t preparing the body for stress, the two most important food classes are going to be protein and fats. Fats, again, have the added benefit of slowing digestion, which further slows the breakdown of food, and offers the advantage of providing your body nutrients for a longer period of time.

An excellent example choice for a bedtime meal is cottage cheese eaten about 15 minutes before bed because it’s high in protein that is derived from milk and is therefore slowly released. Other options include caseinate protein powders and skim milk.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Megan Quann Jendrick, author of Get Wet Get Fit: The Complete Guide to Getting a Swimmer’s Body (Copyright © 2008 by Megan Jendrick and Nathan Jendrick), won two gold medals in the 2000 Olympics and is a longtime member of the U.S. National swim team. She has won ten titles and ten U.S. Open titles, and set twenty-six American records.

Nathan Jendrick, her husband, is an amateur bodybuilder, competitive swimmer, personal trainer, and freelance writer. A frequent contributor to TimedFinals.com and creator and host of the Deck Pass radio show, he is the author of Dunks, Doubles, Doping: How Steroids Are Killing American Athletics.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Dietary Supplements That Work

LEARN MORE

• Learn more about Get Wet Get Fit: The Complete Guide to Getting a Swimmer’s Body
• Browse more books about exercise

We’ve read a lot recently about lead in children’s toys, and about how quickly toymakers have yanked those products off the market when the lead was discovered. But lead in lipstick doesn’t get either the same kind of media play or the same kind of rapid corporate response. Millions of women unwittingly smear lead on their lips every day. The consumer organization Campaign for Safe Cosmetics recently hired an independent laboratory to test red lipsticks bought in Boston, Hartford, San Francisco, and Minneapolis. Why red? Because that’s the color where lead is naturally more present.

The results were sobering. Of thirty-three brand-name lipsticks tested, 61 percent contained detectable levels of lead, with levels ranging from 0.03 to 0.65 parts per million (ppm). Without a study like this, you have no way of knowing how much lead is in the lipstick you use; it’s never listed as an ingredient.

Is the amount of lead in lipstick significant? That’s hard to say, but here’s one way of looking at it: One-third of the tested lipsticks exceeded the FDA’s 0.1 ppm limit for lead in candy.

Well candy, sure. But who eats lipstick, after all? Answer: We do. Any woman or girl who uses lipstick does. Every day. Glamour magazine figures the average woman inadvertently consumes some four pounds of lipstick in a lifetime. We do it simply by eating, drinking, and licking our lips.

Lead is a proven neurotoxin. What’s more, it accumulates in the body over time. Even very small exposures add up. That’s why it is understood now that there is no “safe” level of exposure to lead. If you’re pregnant, lead can cross the placenta and may enter your unborn baby’s brain. Lead has been linked to miscarriage, reduced fertility in men and women, hormonal changes, menstrual irregularities, and delays in the onset of puberty, among other health problems.

But here’s one of the most interesting things about the study: Almost 40 percent of the lipsticks tested, all of which were red, had no detectable levels of lead. Clearly, red lipstick doesn’t have to contain lead. What’s more, cost isn’t a factor. It didn’t matter whether the lipstick was expensive or cheap; some had a lot of lead, some didn’t. The more expensive brands are just as likely to contain lead as the cheaper drugstore brands.

Here’s a list of lipstick brands to which the Environmental Working Group’s database gives a high safety rating:

• Aubrey Organics, aubrey-organics.com
• Dr. Hauschka Skin Care, drhauschka.com
• Ecco Bella, eccobella.com
• Gabriel Cosmetics, gabrielcosmeticsinc.com
• Jane Iredale, janeiredale.com
• Josie Maran Cosmetics, josiemarancosmetics.com
• Paul Penders, paulpenders.com
• Nvey Eco, econveybeauty.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sloan Barnett, author of Green Goes with Everything: Simple Steps to a Healthier Life and a Cleaner Planet (Copyright © 2008 by Sloan Barnett), is a regular contributor to NBC’s Today show and the Green Editor for KNTV, the NBC affiliate in San Francisco. She has been a television and print journalist for more than ten years, and wrote a popular consumer advice column for New York’s Daily News for nearly a decade. She lives in San Francisco with her husband and three children. For more information, please visit greengoeswitheverything.com.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• How to Buy Organic Without Breaking the Bank
• Simple Steps to Save Energy — and Money — at Home

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Green Goes with Everything: Simple Steps to a Healthier Life and a Cleaner Planet
• See the book’s Table of Contents

Stage 1: Working Repetitions
When you begin a strength training exercise with either free weights, an SPRI exercise tube, or a strength-training machine, as soon as you curl your fist upward, you are placing some force against your bicep muscle. The first stage of any strength training exercise is called working repetitions.

During working repetitions, you’ve just started the movement, and it doesn’t feel very hard. You are maintaining good form and slowly working a full range of motion, which means fully contracting the muscle on the way up and slowly lowering it all the way down. Always work the full range of motion, as that is what produces long, lean, calorie-burning muscles. Your working repetitions should make up five to six repetitions of a ten-rep set.

NOTE: If you are approaching the eighth, ninth, or tenth rep and you are still comfortable in working repetitions, then the weight/tension is too light. This is the most common mistake and the reason most people — especially women — miss out on all the benefits of the strength training.

Stage 2: Fatigue
Then, when you start to feel the muscle straining and each repetition is getting harder, you begin to enter stage two, fatigue. Your bicep muscle is getting tired. You may feel the need to cheat a little, but you fight to maintain good form, which you should always strive to achieve. The fatigue stage should last three to four repetitions, or reps six or seven to eight or nine of a ten-rep set.

Stage 3: Failure
Suddenly you can no longer move the weight, band, or machine. You just hit the final and most important stage: failure. When you hit muscular failure, you are no longer physically capable of performing even one more rep. This should happen on rep nine or ten of a planned ten-rep set.

Failure is a concept that most people understand, but very few actually implement in their workouts. This is a shame because without it, you are truly wasting your time. I want you to always apply this phrase to your strength-training exercise program:

You Succeed When You Fail
When you hit failure, you produce tiny tears in your muscles. Don’t be frightened by that thought. Creating little tears is a good thing, because, over the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, the bicep muscle is going to repair those tears. But before starting the repair process, the brain says to the bicep muscle, “Hey, the next time you are asked to perform that bicep curl, I want you to get better at it. So, when you are down there repairing the little tears, go ahead and add just a little more lean muscle tissue so that you don’t fail next time.” Failure during strength training is the only thing that builds lean muscle tissue. Soon thereafter, you will have to increase the resistance so that you continue to fail, which is called progression.

With cardio, we never, ever hit muscular failure. Your muscles may get tired, but they are never pushed to the point where they are required to grow, and you never get the benefit of maintaining and building lean muscle tissue. The same thing happens when we stick with five-pound weights and never even attempt failure or progression. If you’ve had the same dusty set of five- and eight-pound dumbbells since the Reagan era, you know what I’m talking about. You don’t start at a heavy weight, as that would lead to a potential injury. You should start out with a comfortable weight and then build up over time.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jim Karas, author of The Cardio-Free Diet (Copyright © 2007 by Jim Karas), Named one of the best personal trainers in the country by Allure magazine, Jim Karas is the author of the New York Times bestseller The Business Plan for the Body and Flip the Switch. He is a graduate of the Wharton School and the founder of Jim Karas Personal Training, LLC, which has trained more than five hundred clients in Chicago and New York.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 11 Common Exercise Questions, Answered
• Turn Back the Clock by Going Cardio-Free

LEARN MORE

• Read “The Body Weight Equation,” Chapter 2 of The Cardio-Free Diet
• See the book’s Table of Contents

Lower your expectations of yourself
Take an objective look at what you expect of yourself and decide if it’s rational, reasonable, and healthy. Check out how much other healthy people do and find out how they deal with letting go, being mediocre, and not working so hard they make themselves sick. Make a list of areas in which you want to keep expectations high (say, being a good parent), those in which you could do a mediocre job (like house cleaning or volunteering in your community), and those in which you can afford to really slack off (mothering people at work, being everyone’s best friend). Once your expectations are more realistic, you won’t feel so pressured.

Start to accept mistakes and failure
No one likes to do poorly or fail, but some people really don’t care all that much about succeeding. They figure that some endeavors aren’t worth the energy of giving it their all and that they can do a slapdash job and move on to what they enjoy. They also know the world won’t end if they fail. Instead, they expect that and that they might be better off in the long run. Shame doesn’t overwhelm them, especially when they discuss their shortcomings rather than keep them secret because they know that sharing de-powers shame.

Embrace and enjoy human imperfection
Rather than expect to be perfect, healthy people expect to be imperfect — and they always succeed! They laugh at their goofs and gaffs and don’t go out of their way to hush them up. Understanding that everyone makes mistakes, they actually enjoy the flaws of being human. Because they don’t have an attachment to perfection, they don’t take life so seriously and have a lot more fun. When life is an adventure, there’s less room for going morose when things don’t work out. Moreover, they know how to get the best mileage out of misadventures, like what terrific stories they’ll make down the line.

Ask less from yourself and more from others
Get off your high horse and ask for help. No one really likes martyrs or people who do everything so terrifically and perfectly themselves that they don’t need assistance once in a while. An I’ll-do-it-myself attitude makes other people feel superfluous and inadequate. People love to feel needed and to be considered supportive and helpful. Make yourself approachable so that folks aren’t terrified to offer help because you’ll start screaming that you’re fine or that you can handle things when you obviously can’t. No one is trying to undermine your self-esteem or your independence. Here’s a shocker: They like you a lot, enough to want to be helpful.

Avoid all-or-nothing thinking
When you think in extreme either-or terms, you set yourself up for misery, as in if you don’t do something perfectly, you’re a failure. Hello, how could this be true? If you run for president of the United States and lose but are a senator for twenty three years, you’re a failure? Come on, now. Where does this kind of craziness come from? Measure success in increments and think of achievements on a continuum. Please, scale down your grandiosity. Instead of whining that you didn’t do something completely right, think of the fact that you came pretty close. Instead of looking at what you did poorly, focus on what you did well. Remember fractions: one-half, one-quarter, three-quarters, etc.

Don’t measure yourself against others
We all start out in a different place in life with diverse genes and dissimilar upbringings. Some people have many talents, others have one amazing one. Most of us are average. Competition is fine as long as you don’t put yourself down for not measuring up. Think in terms of making progress from where you were, not comparing yourself to where someone else is. Maybe you started farther back than she did, maybe you had stumbling blocks along the way that she didn’t, maybe she’s making herself sick being so damned good at what she does.

Learn how to turn off guilt and fear
When you slip into feeling guilty or inadequate or fear disappointing or hurting someone, catch yourself and boycott the feeling. Although I spend the bulk of my professional life nudging people to explore and experience most feelings, some emotions are unproductive and have no place in a healthy life. Unwarranted guilt, fear, and inadequacy are three emotions it’s time to wave good-bye to. They won’t disappear right away; you’ll have to keep shooing them out the door. The more often you allow yourself to wallow in them, the longer they’ll stick around.

However, if you experience resentment, pay heed. Maybe it means you’re feeling undervalued, which, in turn, might indicate that you either need to do less or ask for more appreciation. Resentment might be pushing you toward reality and health, so don’t knock it until you understand what you’re feeling.

How does wanting to be perfect make me such an imperfect eater?
One obvious way that perfectionism drives you to overeat is that you use food to cope with stress. Is there anyone out there who doesn’t find perfectionism stressful? Here’s the progression: The harder you work to be perfect, the more overwhelmed you feel, and the more overwhelmed you feel, the more you want to eat. You eat to slow down, chill out, make time for yourself, recharge your battery, nourish your body, reward yourself, and feel like a human being. Of course, you could do all these things without food, but you don’t know how to do that yet.

Perfectionism works in two other ways regarding food. Not surprising, you may want to be a perfect eater, always to eat nutritiously, within a certain calorie range by balancing food groups and eschewing fat, non-organics, and anything that isn’t wholesome. So what happens? Can you stick to your ideal diet? Of course not. Sooner or later (usually sooner) you’re bound to have rebound eating, that is, cravings for forbidden foods. These desires are part mental from psychic deprivation and part physiological because you’re not choosing from a wide enough range of nutrients and your body wants to be in balance.

The other way that perfectionism impacts eating is that all of us need to have somewhere to make a mess, and your (unconsciously) chosen area is food. No one can keep herself on a tight leash all the time, and the place you break completely free is eating. We could say that overeating makes you human and is trying to drive a point home to you: Cut out all that perfectionism. If you weren’t so gung-ho on doing right all the time, you wouldn’t have to balance yourself out by “doing wrong” with food. In a way, nature will out even if it has to knock some sense into you in ways you deem unkind.

There’s more. Striving for perfection is another way of saying that you don’t know when enough is enough, right? Instead of consciously deciding to stop doing, you arrive at “enough” when you hit a wall, reach exhaustion, or there’s nothing left to accomplish because you’ve done it all! Like a blind person feeling her way through life, you rely on external cues to find your way to sufficiency rather than respond to an innate sense of adequacy and doneness.

You keep on saying yes while waiting to feel good, satisfied, full, or complete, but that never happens because there’s generally more that can be done — chores or actions, people to help, goals to reach, food to eat, etc. The fact is enough is not some predestined endpoint but comes from a self-determined sense of satisfaction and acceptance — an intuitive feeling of okayness, adequacy, and completion — that resonates within you as a yes (and should come out of your mouth as “no more”). Enough makes itself felt internally and should cause you to say “basta” no matter what anyone else thinks, says, or does.

Striving for perfection and not knowing when to cry uncle is eerily similar to not knowing when to stop eating. You keep on chewing and swallowing and stop only when you run out of money, time, or food, not because you have a feeling of fullness and satiation. Perfectionism and overeating are both manifestations of self-regulation difficulties and a kind of tone deafness to sufficiency.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Karen R. Koenig, the author of Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever (Copyright © 2009 by Karen R. Koenig), is a cognitive-behavioral therapist and author of three books on eating and weight. A national speaker, she regularly teaches workshops on eating to groups around the country. She lives in Sarasota, Florida.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 23 Do’s and Don’ts to Prevent Packing on the Pounds at Work
• Are You Overweight Because You’re Just Too Nice?
• Does Your Family Make You Fat?
• Stop Being a People Pleaser and Take Control of Your Diet

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever
• Read Chapter 1 of the book
• Learn more about the author

Preparation Ideas
I provide custom meals for my clients at work, so I know how easy this can be if you simply take the time. Purchase reusable plastic containers, and either prepare every day for the day ahead or — even better – prepare several days at once. Buy your supplies at the grocery store, then spend an hour preparing meals and snacks for the next few days. This is an hour invested in a valuable commodity: your own good health. This is also a great way to use leftovers when you’ve cooked a big dinner, or when you’ve brought home a lot of extra food from a restaurant.

Here’s how I do it:

• Line the bottom of containers with different types of salad greens. Top them with your favorite protein — it could be canned tuna, chicken from the night before, sliced leftover steak, or baked tofu. Then add a sprinkling of some flavor such as cheese or nuts, and combine with colorful veggies such as tomatoes and bell peppers. Fill a small plastic container with a low-fat packaged dressing to go with it. Add a slice of whole-grain bread, some brown rice, or whole-grain pretzels or something else crunchy and starchy. Voilà, you have a light, healthy lunch you can take with you or keep easily accessible at home.
• Another good meal to make ahead and store for a convenient lunch or dinner: soup. Especially in the winter, a pint of nice homemade soup will do wonders for your waistline, as well as for your attitude. On one night, sauté onions, carrots, and celery; add your favorite chopped vegetable with salt and pepper and a container of chicken stock. Puree, season to taste, then separate into several containers for high-volume snacks or lunch sides. Some canned soups are great, too. I love Amy’s soups. Some boxed soups are also very good and low in calories but high in flavor. Read the label.
• For healthy morning and afternoon snacks, keep small containers of Greek yogurt in the fridge with individually portioned plastic containers or snack bags of low-fat granola or fruit and nuts. Another easy snack: whole wheat pita wedges with store-bought hummus or a slice of whole-grain bread with low-fat cheese or peanut butter. Whole-grain pretzels with a slice of cheese would be a great afternoon snack, too. If you have healthful foods you actually like in the refrigerator, you’ll grab them.
• Edamame is a delicious and protein-rich snack.
• The cucumber salad is a great one to make and save when between-meal hunger hits you.
• If it’s sweets you crave, then make up portion-controlled containers of dark chocolate and almonds (the healthy fat in the almonds helps to balance the sugar in the chocolate) or combine whipped cottage cheese, honey, maple syrup (or Splenda), vanilla extract, and chocolate chips (or make faux cheesecake). This can be made in several variations, such as with slivered almonds and almond extract. Divide between small containers for something quick, sweet, and delicious.

The possibilities are nearly endless, but the point is to make up the snacks in portion-controlled batches before you get hungry —  and to make snacks that you will actually eat. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that if you have no food, you won’t eat. When the body is hungry, it finds a way to eat. Whether you will be going to work, to a gym, on a road trip, or to an airport, be ready for hunger. When you make meals and snacks yourself, they will taste better and be better for you than processed junk food. Desperation usually results in poor choices.

Once you understand and adopt this concept and it becomes second nature, you might wonder why you never practiced it before. Why wouldn’t you eat really good food you made yourself? Why wouldn’t you order food that will make you feel good, not sluggish and bloated? But the only way to make these new practices into habits is to make them fit you and your life. Let self-knowledge be your quest.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A former Martha Stewart Apprentice runner up and a star of The Real Housewives of New York City, Bethenny Frankel is the author of the New York Times bestseller Naturally Thin: Unleash Your SkinnyGirl  and Free Yourself from a Lifetime of Dieting (Copyright © 2009 by BB Endeavors LLC) and The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life. The founder of natural foods company BethennyBakes, she is a monthly columnist for Health magazine. She has cooked for celebrities including Denis Leary and Mariska Hargitay. She lives in New York City.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• How Much Should You Eat? A Guide to Portions

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Naturally Thin
• Watch Bethenny Frankel talk about her book and how she learned to be naturally thin
• Discover Bethenny’s new book, The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life

Here are some ways to make your organic food dollars stretch farther:

• Buy Smart. Between 2000 and 2004, the USDA and FDA did some 43,000 tests for pesticides in fresh produce. When the Environmental Working Group analyzed the results it found that you could reduce your pesticide intake by 90 percent if you ate only organic versions of twelve of them: peaches, apples, sweet bell peppers, celery, nectarines, strawberries, cherries, pears, imported grapes, spinach, lettuce, and potatoes. If all you did was buy these foods organically, you’d be making a huge contribution to your family’s health.

• Shop Around. Pricing for organic foods is sometimes . . . well, let’s just call it whimsical. So many different retail outlets are selling organic products these days that there are bargains available if you just take the time to look for them. Someone’s always promoting something. You comparison shop for everything else, right? Why not for organic food? And when you do find a deal, buy lots if it isn’t perishable.

• Buy Local. Buying locally grown vegetables, fruit, and meat is easier than ever. Many supermarkets feature them in season and there are more and more farmers’ markets every year. Foods in season tend to be cheaper, because they’re abundant then (it’s that supply and demand thing again). And for that matter, consider shopping at the end of the day; you can often drive a better bargain then and you don’t even have to feel guilty: it makes the farmer’s life easier not having to pack up the excess or discard it. Most locally sourced foods are organic — but you should always ask what fertilizers and pesticides (and for meats, what antibiotics and hormones) were used to produce them. Also, one of the big benefits of buying local is what you save environmentally: the fuel costs (part of what’s called your “carbon footprint”) for a local tomato are way lower than for one grown in a hothouse somewhere else in the world and air shipped to your supermarket. Not to mention that the local one will actually taste like a tomato!

• Invest in a Farm. No, I don’t mean buy stock in one; I mean agree to buy a certain amount of what they produce every week. This is called “community-supported agriculture” (CSA), and it’s growing fast. Think of it like a magazine subscription. For a fixed, agreed-upon cost, a local farmer delivers a box of fresh food to your door every week — whatever’s in season. Not only does this guarantee your family the freshest food possible, it also means the farmer has a degree of financial certainty he or she might otherwise not have, and that’s good if we want more of them to take that risk.

• Buy in Bulk: Shop with Friends. Farmers are smart folks. If you walk up to a stand at the farmers’ market, or even one on the farm, and say you want to buy crates of produce, not just a bag, they’ll cut you a deal. So either shop with your friends or make an arrangement to shop for them. If you’ve got a freezer, you can do the same thing with a side of organic beef. By the way, if your market or natural foods shop has bulk bins, that’s another way to get organic on the cheap. It’s this simple: Buying big saves big.

• Join a Co-op. Yes, I know; co-ops used to be a staple of the counterculture. But not anymore. In many cities, there are full-service natural foods supermarkets that also function as co-ops. That means that when you join you get an automatic discount on everything you buy (sometimes on specific days of the week). And that discount can help organic food fit into your budget.

• Buy Store-Brand Organic Products. The major supermarket chains have caught on. So now, if you’re looking for a can of tomatoes, for example, there’s a pretty good chance that the store’s own house brand will offer you an organic choice that is cheaper than the big-name organic brands. Choose it.

• Clip Coupons. Organic’s become big business. Many of the name-brand food companies now offer organic products along with their conventional line. And they want you to buy them. To get you to do so, they offer coupon discounts in those supermarket circulars you get every week in the mail. Take advantage of them! Who knows, maybe you’ll encourage them to produce even more organic products!

• Grow Your Own. Is there some corner of your yard, or some section of your apartment balcony, that gets sun most of the day? Well, farm it! Seriously, you’d be amazed at how much you can grow in a tiny space. In a box roughly two feet square, you can grow enough mixed salad greens to keep you going for months! And tomatoes. I mean, really, what is more scrumptious than a fully ripe tomato still warm from the sun? Container tomatoes, often called “patio” tomatoes, can be trained vertically and will produce so many juicy fruits you’ll have to give them away. And you know what? Unlike children, plants don’t need a lot of your time or attention. Water, a little organic fertilizer, sun — that’s it. Then you just stand back and harvest. And kids just love watching things grow.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sloan Barnett, author of Green Goes with Everything: Simple Steps to a Healthier Life and a Cleaner Planet (Copyright © 2008 by Sloan Barnett), is a regular contributor to NBC’s Today show and the Green Editor for KNTV, the NBC affiliate in San Francisco. She has been a television and print journalist for more than ten years, and wrote a popular consumer advice column for New York’s Daily News for nearly a decade. She lives in San Francisco with her husband and three children. For more information, please visit greengoeswitheverything.com.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Simple Steps to Save Energy — and Money — at Home
• Why Are You Wearing Lead on Your Lips?

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Green Goes with Everything: Simple Steps to a Healthier Life and a Cleaner Planet
• See the book’s Table of Contents

When shopping for green cleaning products, you should always pay close attention to the label. If you can answer “yes” to the following questions, then you can trust that the product you’re buying is safe.

Does it Disclose All Ingredients?
Because the manufacturers or household cleaning products aren’t required by law to do so, you should look for companies that voluntarily disclose their ingredients – and tell you that they do. Look for products that say right on the bottle, “We disclose all ingredients.” That line is a good indication that you’re dealing with an environmentally responsible company.

Does It Tell You Where Those Ingredients Came From?
The label should also tell you if its ingredients are synthetic or naturally derived, as in the label of this environmentally safe all-purpose production:

“This product contains purified water, naturally derived surfactant (from plants or botanicals such as corn, soy, or palm kernel), natural fragrance (from essential oils, plants, or botanicals,) and contains no preservatives.”

Is the water purified? Is the fragrance natural? Does it tell whether the surfactant is derived from plants or chemicals? These are the questions we need to start asking.

Depending on the product, there might be a few more ingredients listed as well, like a complexing agent or a chealant. That’s fine — as long the label tells you the source of those ingredients, whether they’re synthetic or plant-/vegetable-based.

You also might see words like “anionic,” “nonionic,” and “cationic” preceding the surfactant. These refer to the charge of the surfactant and not its source. Don’t be fooled by these and other scientific-sounding terms. You need to know where that surfactant comes from, not what charge it is.

Beware of vague-sounding phrases like “quality-control ingredients” or “cleaning agents.” What do these words even mean? Do they indicate the source of the ingredients or not? If you can’t answer these simple questions you probably shouldn’t be using the product.

Do Those Ingredients Biodegrade?
A label should tell you if its ingredients are in the environment. Most plant- and vegetable-based formulas do.

Is it Free of Toxins?
Avoid cleaning products that contain any of the following:

• Aerosol propellants
• Ammonia
• Chlorine bleach
• Heavy metals
• Known or suspected carcinogens, endocrine disrupters, mutagens, and teratogens
• Phosphates
• Synthetic dyes, fragrances, and optical brighteners

If you see any of these items on a product label, keep shopping.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Deirdre Imus, author of Green This! Volume 1: Greening Your Cleaning (Copyright © 2007 by Git’R Green, Inc.), is the founder and president of Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology®, part of Hackensack University Medical Center (HUMC) in New Jersey. She is also a co-founder and co-director of the Imus Castle Ranch for Kids with Cancer, and the author of the bestselling book The Imus Ranch: Cooking for Kids and Cowboys.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 4 Holistic Health Practices to Try
• 7 Reasons Children Are Exceptionally Sensitive to Everyday Chemicals
• Essential Green Cleaning Products: How to Clean Your Home Naturally
• Nourishing Baby: Smart Choices for Moms — Plus, How to Find Safe Baby Bottles
• Top 10 Ways to Green Your Life

LEARN MORE

• Read Chapter 1 of Green This! Volume 1: Greening Your Cleaning
• See the book’s Table of Contents
• Watch a video about the easiest green lifestyle changes anyone can make
• More books by Deirdre Imus

Everything starts with the mind. Everything! If you set your mind on high things, you’ll achieve high goals. Of course, the opposite is true as well. Lack of ambition and negative thoughts will deliver negative results in every area of your life.

Once you overcome your mental weaknesses, affirm that your body can do remarkable things, and tap into the spirit within yourself, you will be one step closer to making a complete transformation that will lead you to a lifestyle of fitness forever.

GAME TIME
Steps to Finding Fitness

1. Identify which mental challenges have been holding you back from discovering your true path to fitness.
2. Write them down and use them as your mental playbook for conquering your fitness goals.
3. Spend ten days before you begin a new program mentally preparing yourself for your workout.
4. Make the decision that no matter where you start, you will make the commitment to stay with your program for at least two weeks straight.
5. Allow your body to dictate your progress. Do not focus on what others are doing. Stay the course, maintain your own flow. This is about your lifestyle, and it will take time to create.
6. Lose the rules. Fitness shouldn’t be about rules; it should be about using your natural tools (mind, body, and spirit) to create the energy and space in which you want to live. When you can truly say you’re comfortable in your own skin and with yourself, you have succeeded in finding fitness.
7. Create an atmosphere of confidence. Take time to really get to know what you like and dislike about working out. Some people enjoy working out at the gym. Others prefer to stay home and work out alone. For some, a one-on-one program with a trainer may be best. There is no right or wrong; you can and will get results lifting weights, doing pilates at home, or using my personal gym system. What you do and where you do it is determined by your schedule, your current lifestyle, your strengths and weaknesses, and your goals.

It’s more important for you to change your mind and your thinking about what it takes to be fit than to focus on the hows, whys, whens, and wheres of how you’re going to do it. Making the decision to live a lifestyle geared to fitness is the most important step you will take toward achieving your goals.

Now that you’re mentally strong, let’s get down to what’s real. No matter where you start or stop, you’re already a winner.

One final thought: I want you to understand that the reason my body can withstand the damage that can be done in the NFL, and the reason I’ve managed to come back from what other people would consider career-ending injuries, is that I believe in focusing in strengthening and developing the core — that is, working muscles from the inside out rather than focusing on the superficial (surface) muscles.

My antics on and off the field are often followed by catchy phrases like Getcha Popcorn Ready or I Loves Me Some Me that keep me motivated. As you begin these workouts, think of your own catchphrases and make them yours; they’ll work as affirmation that will keep you pumped.

Let loose, and prepare to entertain your body. It’s game day, baby; see you in the endzone!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Terrell Owens, the author of T.O.’s Finding Fitness (Copyright © 2008 by Terrell Owens Enterprises), is a perennial all-pro receiver. In 2005 he became only the sixth receiver in NFL history with 100 touchdown receptions. His reality series, The T.O. Show, airs on VH1. Terrell currently plays for the Buffalo Bills.

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to T.O.’s Finding Fitness: Making the Mind, Body, and Spirit Connection for Total Health
• Read the book’s Foreword by Jerry Rice
• See more books by Terrell Owens

Emotionally healthy individuals feel good in the moment and flattered when folks compliment and praise them. They don’t need the approval of their partner, friends, children, family, neighbors, or boss to do the right thing and engage in activities they enjoy. If they get it, all well and good; if not, so what. Healthy people might get upset when they don’t feel valued or appreciated, but they can go a long way toward validating themselves when others don’t do it for them, and external validation is icing on their cake. If they’re regularly undervalued, they speak up to find out why and let others know that they’d like to be appreciated a bit more.

However, when you’ve built your whole life around seeking approval and acceptance, it’s devastating when you don’t get it. It can send you into a downward spiral or a tailspin that’s difficult to recover from. It can generate anxiety and depression and even make you feel suicidal. Sometimes when you’ve worked hard to curry favor and don’t receive it, you feel profoundly disappointed, worthless, empty, betrayed, and as if there’s no point in living. This is the problem with seeking external reward exclusively: If you don’t get it, you feel completely done in. You may even feel resentful and enraged and not understand where this surge of intense feeling comes from.

And what do you do to avoid or lessen these feelings? You eat, of course. You think, Well, if no one’s going to reward me, I’ll just reward myself with a treat. If you can’t fill up on compliments, you fill yourself up on calories. People can disappoint you, but food never does, so what the heck. You tell yourself, I deserve something good to eat, which is of course the truth but not a great way to decide whether to have pizza or not. Sure, you deserve to be loved and lauded, but that has nothing to do with food. When you really believe that you’re deserving, food doesn’t enter into the equation because your reward is your own good feelings about yourself.

Food fills the void left by lack of approval, but only temporarily. When you’re done eating, you’re still left with empty feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, made worse by mistrust in yourself for eating when you weren’t hungry or overeating when you were. You’re still yearning for external reinforcement and have compounded the problem by not focusing on what you can actively do to make yourself feel better — reminding yourself of your worth, realizing that your judgment of yourself is more important than how others judge you, and accepting that seeking approval outside the self is generally a fruitless endeavor.

GRAB YOUR THINKING CAP What do you do when you’ve failed to receive the acceptance, love, or approval you seek? How do you abuse food in these situations? What is it you’re seeking through eating?

I’ve been privileged to see many nice girls turn around people-pleasing behavior in a short time. It’s not easy, but it’s not as hard as you might think. It takes reflection, awareness, insight, and what’s called an observant ego, that is, the ability to act and assess your actions simultaneously. Using your observing ego on a date might involve noticing how you’re fawning or keeping your opinions to yourself because you sense your companion hates to be challenged. Or recognizing that you didn’t send your son to his room because you can’t stand how angry he gets at you when you punish him. Or realizing that you couldn’t refuse to give your drug-addict brother a handout because he so looks to his big sis as a savior. People pleasing is as addictive as any other behavior that lights up your brain’s reward center, but change becomes easier when you focus on approving of yourself. Work on lighting up your own pleasure center!

No More Nice Girl Manifesto for People Pleasing

Do:

• Share your authentic feelings with people you feel safe with.
• Cultivate family and friend relationships with folks who can accept you as you are and to whom you can speak honestly and directly.
• Try to understand where your people-pleasing behavior comes from in your childhood.
• Analyze your work situation and see if you are setting yourself up for excessive approval seeking and confrontation avoidance.
• Allow your children to be angry with you so that they can learn that it’s okay to be angry and continue to be loved.
• Explain to your partner why you fear being honest (unless your partner will retaliate and hurt you, in which case either seek counseling or get out of the relationship).
• Expect friends to love you in spite of your flaws.
• Make sure that your community work is being done not because you feel you should do it or will be rewarded for it, but because it feels pretty neat in your heart.
• Stop expecting acceptance, approval, praise, or love from others for what you do and instead give it to yourself.
• Stop saying nice things so folks will like you or won’t be angry with you.
• Expect that you’ll hurt people’s feelings and they’ll get over it.
• Practice saying no more often and think long and hard before saying yes.

Don’t:

• Worry if someone you meet doesn’t like you.
• Expect praise and compliments for everything you do as if you are a child who needs constant encouragement.
• Smile when you don’t feel like it just to cheer up someone.
• Say yes when the more self-nurturing answer is no.
• Stay in an abusive home, social, or work situation in which you’re walking on eggshells around a person who is critical, abusive, or in other ways habitually hurtful.
• Overdo just to make other people happy when it doesn’t seem right for you.
• Keep silent and make excuses for people who regularly behave badly.
• Let hurt fester because you’re afraid of sharing negative feelings.
• Catastrophize about folks not getting over hurt feelings, which are part of life.
• Say “please,” “thank you,” and “I’m sorry” unless it’s appropriate.

To do today:
The next time you do something you’re proud of, don’t ask anyone what they think, but focus on what you think of your behavior.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Karen R. Koenig, the author of Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever (Copyright © 2009 by Karen R. Koenig), is a cognitive-behavioral therapist and author of three books on eating and weight. A national speaker, she regularly teaches workshops on eating to groups around the country. She lives in Sarasota, Florida.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• 23 Do’s and Don’ts to Prevent Packing on the Pounds at Work
• Are You Overweight Because You’re Just Too Nice?
• Does Your Family Make You Fat?
• Is Being a Perfectionist Ruining Your Life?

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Nice Girls Finish Fat: Put Yourself First and Change Your Eating Forever
• Read Chapter 1 of the book
• Learn more about the author

With a proper diet, the average active individual does not necessarily need any dietary supplementation. That said, there are a few simple, healthful things that can be added to your nutritional program to enhance your well-being. Many times people forget the meaning behind the word “supplement.” Please keep in mind that the products mentioned below will be of little good if not accompanied by an adequate intake of quality foods.

CoQ10
Coenzyme Q-10, more commonly called CoQ10, is a powerful antioxidant that helps eliminate free radicals from the body. This supplement has also been shown to help improve cardiovascular function and reduce blood pressure, and it plays a key role in energy production in the body as well.

EPA/Ill (licosaheiaenoic Acid and Eicosapentaenoic Acid)
This supplement and its long-form name is a fancy way to say fish oil, essential omega-3 fatty acids. The benefits of this supplement are numerous, and they include improved brain function, improved cardiovascular function, enhanced lipid profile, and improved body composition as the fatty acids promote the shedding of body fat stores.

As more of the world’s waterways become polluted, there are reports coming to light that show high levels of mercury in the supply of fish humans consume. While the amount of fish that most people
eat isn’t enough to worry about, by supplementing your diet with pill-form fish oil you’re reducing one worry while taking advantage of all the available benefits.

Vitamin C
There is some research to suggest that active individuals may have low levels of vitamin C in their bodies. The International Journal of Sport Nutrition and Exercise Metabolism published a study in 2006 showing that vitamin C supplementation can increase fat oxidation during submaximal aerobic exercise, as well as help “reduce muscle soreness, damage, function and oxidative stress due to eccentric exercise.”

As a suggestion, taking 500 mg each day of this vitamin could be beneficial to your health and exercise performance.

Amino Acids
The International Journal of Sport Nutrition and Exercise Metabolism published another study, this one in December 2006, on the use of amino acids and their effect on muscle soreness. They found that when consumed thirty minutes prior to and immediately after exercise, muscle
soreness was considerably lower than in the placebo group of their test. One serving before and after exercise is recommended.

Creatine
For years there has been a great deal of misinformation surrounding this product, which is actually naturally occurring in the body. It is not a steroid — it is an amino acid — and it has never been proven dangerous to otherwise healthy adults. In fact, creatine has been proven safe throughout thousands of studies and has been proven to promote increases in lean body mass, positive body composition, muscular strength and even brain function — 2 to 5 grams a day is sufficient.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Megan Quann Jendrick, author of Get Wet Get Fit: The Complete Guide to Getting a Swimmer’s Body (Copyright © 2008 by Megan Jendrick and Nathan Jendrick), won two gold medals in the 2000 Olympics and is a longtime member of the U.S. National swim team. She has won ten titles and ten U.S. Open titles, and set twenty-six American records.

Nathan Jendrick, her husband, is an amateur bodybuilder, competitive swimmer, personal trainer, and freelance writer. A frequent contributor to TimedFinals.com and creator and host of the Deck Pass radio show, he is the author of Dunks, Doubles, Doping: How Steroids Are Killing American Athletics.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• What to Eat When for the Perfect Workout

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• Buy a copy of Get Wet Get Fit: The Complete Guide to Getting a Swimmer’s Body
• Browse more books about exercise

First and foremost jumping rope builds cardiovascular endurance and gives boxers the stamina they need to last round after round. It also helps improve footwork, coordination, and balance. Muhammad Ali said that he loved skipping rope as part of his training. It helped perfect what he called his “prancing and dancing” in the ring.

Jumping rope isn’t that tough, which is why kids love it so much. It’s best to start out slow and steady, so you don’t get tripped up — especially if you haven’t jumped rope since your elementary school days. However, since our workout calls for quite a bit of jumping rope, building to twelve-minute sessions, you’ll need to mix it by learning some footwork and arm moves. Before trying any tricks, keep these guidelines in mind:

• Keep it simple, relax, and find your rhythm.
• Jump with both feet and land on the balls of your feet.
• Lift your feet off the floor just high enough for the rope to pass quickly. Avoid jumping too high or landing too hard.
• Wear sneakers with plenty of padding to absorb the shock of your body weight. (Light-weight cross-trainers or running shoes are best.) Always wear socks to prevent blisters.
• Bend your knees slightly, rather than locking them. This will help absorb the force of your body weight.
• Keep your shoulders relaxed and your hands at your sides and turn with your wrists — not with your arms.
• Be patient. Start out slowly, and then increase your speed once you become more comfortable.

THE RIGHT ROPE
There are many different kinds of jump ropes. When choosing the right one for you, make sure the length is correct. Hold the rope and stand with your feet on the middle. If the length is just right, the handles should just reach your armpits. The handles should be thick and comfortable.

Once you’ve gotten the hang of jumping, try running in place while turning the rope for variety and an additional challenge. Turn the rope and step over it with one foot. On the next turn, step over the rope with the other foot You should feel like you’re jogging in place while jumping rope.

COACH’S CORNER
Why do you jump rope? That’s just what boxers do.

Footwork, not punching, is the foundation of your boxing practice. Jumping rope improves footwork and balance. Skipping from foot to foot involved in jumping rope is great practice for shifting your weight into your punches.

“I used to hate jumping rope and not be able to do it. But after three months of getting laughed at, I now can jump for twenty minutes at a time!”  –Alexis, age 23

HOW DO I KNOW HOW FAST TO GO?
It’s important to gauge how hard your body is working, based on how you feel, not how you think you’re supposed to feel. (For some people, walking up one flight of stairs is all it takes to get short of breath. For others, it’ll take running up ten flights to get that same response.) That’s why, when it comes to your rope skipping, we’re not going to tell you how fast to turn the rope or how many jumps to squeeze in per minute. Instead, pace yourself based on your perceived level of exertion, using this one-to-ten scale:

1–2 Just Barely Moving
You’re moving, but you’re certainly not putting yourself out at all. Think window shopping or strolling through the park.

3–4 Easy
This is your brisk, warm-up pace. Your blood is pumping, and your muscles warm, but you’re still breathing at or close to normal.

5–6 Moderate
Now, you’re starting to work hard. You should feel your heart pounding and sweat forming on your forehead. You should also be breathing faster than normal, but not so hard that you can’t hold a conversation without gasping for air between sentences.

7–8 Intense
You can feel your heart beating. You’re breathing so heavily that you can’t talk without pausing for air between phrases. In the ring, this is how you’ll feel when you’re going all out during the last thirty seconds of the last round.

9–10 All Out
You are performing at your body’s maximum capacity, which you can only sustain for a very, very short period of time. (If ever you’re working this hard, there is probably a hungry bear running toward you.)

You should start out jumping at an easy pace, then move to a moderate level followed by an intense level. Because it’s difficult to go ‘all out’ for very long, that level is too intense. And if you’re barely moving, you’ll need to push harder to reap full benefit.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hector Roca,  author of The Gleason’s Gym Total Body Boxing Workout for Women: A 4-Week Head-to-Toe Makeover (Copyright © 2006 by Hector Roca and Bruce Silverglade), is an icon in the boxing world, most recently named the number one Spanish-speaking trainer in the world by International Boxing Digest. Roca is a former two-time Olympic cyclist from Panama. He has coached thirteen World Champions and trained Hilary Swank for her Oscar-winning role in Million Dollar Baby.