Talking to Children About Cancer

How to talk to your children honestly about your diagnosis — without scaring them too much. From Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey by Janet Thompson

When a woman with young children is diagnosed with breast cancer, she faces a delicate balancing act. How do you talk to your children honestly without scaring them too much? Psychologist Sandy Finestone, a twenty-year survivor and coordinator of cancer-patient services at Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian in Newport Beach, California, recommends the following:

• Talk to children at their comprehension level and be honest. “The bad thing is to keep them out of the loop,” she said. “Tell them my treatment is going to take this amount of time; I may be tired. If my hair falls out, it is good because that means the chemicals are working.”
• Get them involved in positive events, like the Race for the Cure.
• Demystify cancer. “I’ve had children draw on their mother’s head,” Finestone said.
• Look for good resources, and get children in touch with other kids who understand. Finestone recommends Kids Konnected, an online community for children whose parents are battling any type of cancer (www.kidskonnected.org). There are also books and other links recommended on the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation Web site (www.komen.org)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Janet Thompson, author of Dear God They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey (Copyright © 2006 by Janet Thompson), quit her secular career to go into full-time lay ministry, starting the Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. She is the founder and director of About His Work Ministries, also known as AHW Ministries, and is a frequent speaker on topics relevant to today’s Christian women. Janet has authored several products for her Woman to Woman ministry, including Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter. Janet and her husband, Dave, have four married children and nine grandchildren. They make their home in Lake Forest, California.

MORE ARTICLES BY THE AUTHOR

• Adjusting to a New Normal When You Have Cancer
• The Top 13 Things to Do or Say and Not to Say or Do to Someone with Breast Cancer
• What Breast Cancer Patients Should Know About Prosthesis

LEARN MORE

• Read the Introduction to Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey
• See the book’s Table of Contents